When to ask for exclusivity?
I’ll try and keep it short.
I’m 30, he’s 29; 30 this year as well
Back in February, I took a spontaneous trip to my home state, for a couple days. Met a dude on sniffies on the way over, he was actually my first stop, the hook up was fun, we vibed, he enjoyed it, wanted a round 2 but crunch of time so I left. We kept in contact the day, going back and forth basically all day trying to see if we can meet again. Didn’t work out, he did give a heads up and deleted his profile (same as me, delete often), but we kept in contact up until a few hours before I left.
Moving back to my home state had been on my mind for a minute, just due to the situation where I was. I had the funds so decided the next day after getting home I was moving back.
Anyways, a couple weeks later, I bit the bullet and bought sniffies premium for the sole purposes of finding him and I did lmao. I got his number, we went back and forth for about 2-3 months, everyday, from the time our eyes opened till we knocked out. We vibe together, got to know each other pretty well, considering.
When I asked him if he’d be down for ongoing when I hit him up, he said yeah he was trying to get off these apps. I’m a flirtatious person, our conversation when I him up again was started with “I can take us off these apps” 🤦🏽♂️😭. To which he responded with somewhere along the lines of, “lmao, honestly I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m down to fuck around but idk about dating”. I shot back with “honestly same, I’m just flirtatious asf, emotionally unavailable at that”. We settled at FWB not holding exclusivity, exclusivity was his works. This was before we got acquainted.
Coming to an end of the rant. The last week before moving back. I was pretty distant; with work, packing and other things arising. I wasn’t responding as I normally would. First weekend out here, again a lot happened and settling in so not as responsive. He asked me to meet him 3 days after being here, last minute like 11:30 at night and I honestly just wasn’t ready. Ever since then he got distant as well.
We moved to talking 1-2 times a week, if that. Never responded to my last message. After a week I bit the bullet and hit him up asking if he was still down to hang out, and we did next day. Hung out for about 3-4 hours, vibes were crazy. He was super into it, kept telling me how handsome I was, how into my body he was, kept grabbing on me and kissing as I was talking and then would want me to continue talking as he was kissing on me. The whole situation was hot and cute.
I’m DL and he’s out, he’d asked if I’d ever see myself coming out and how he’d kiss me in public etc. Also pretty interested in my sex life prior to moving and current. One of us has mentioned how we hadn’t hung out, I believe I said yeah you’ve been kinda lagging and he responded with yeah I know my bad, I just thought you were busy. Now I see I kinda was more distant than I thought.
I think I caught feelings a month or two back, but given what he’s said about not being ready for a relationship how does one go about asking or hinting for exclusivity. Obviously everything is still new and quick, but I think I’d be down to move forward with exploring a relationship with a guy. I’m not looking to bring it up within the next 2 weeks, or month or even 2 months, I’d wanna feel it out and see how things go. But would like to hint at it to see what his views would be.
TLDR;
Met a guy out of state, hooked up, talked for a couple days then stopped. Decided to move back to home state, hit him up 2 weeks later; kept in contact 2.5 months everyday. Moved been, lagged on him 3 days being here, he got distant after that, we both did. We hung out after a month of moving (a few days ago), fun time, both mutually enjoyed it. Idk how to do TLDR tbh read last 2 paragraphs.
Thanks for your responses, questions welcomed.
Dude if you’re reading this my bad lmao