Coming to terms with being Agender
I’ve tried to pretend that I’m just a gnc cis woman, but the reality is that I genuinely do not have a sense of gender. I prefer gendervoid or gendernull more, because it explains it a bit better. I still use she/her, I still dress the same and i won’t change my name, but i can’t fully relate to societies idea of feminity and masculinity. I view gender as internal only, everything else are made up expressions and expectations I participate in but don’t really care or believe in those things. Feminity and masculinity for me is as subjective as beauty. For me someone doing make up and wearing dresses doesn’t mean they’re feminine or masculine. They just like make up and dresses. A woman having short hair and being into cars, is not a masculine woman but a woman into cars that happens to have short hair. I strongly identify with my sex, because it’s a big part of my life but it’s just that. The way my body is organised and it gives context to some of my experiences walking through this world.
It’s a bit weird navigating progressive spaces because agender or someone being completely devoided of gender is very unusual and i’m often assumed to be cis based on my presentation, but honestly it’s ok and i’m often happy that people don’t know that i’m not really cis. It’s like watching a drama at a theatre in a foreign language.