I [19M] am getting uglier day by day, even though I don't step out of my house and still my parents refuse to let me buy skincare products...
So basically, my friends and some of my relatives have directly said that i am getting darker and having more tanned face and neck. Some of my relatives have said the same thing to my parents, and my parents almost daily say the same thing to me, i.e., "You look so ugly". And even after saying so, almost daily, they still refuse to let me buy skincare products! Once I ordered 1% Salicylic acid facewash by saving my own money, and it worked pretty good, hence my confidence was also boosted, but still I couldn't manage to afford sunscreen and moisturizer to complete the skincare, so I think it still didn't reach its potential. Now since the facewash has been finished months ago, my acne and 'ugliness' are coming back. People are again saying that I am getting uglier, f*ck people, my own parents are saying that same thing daily. I swear, i don't even step out of my room! I stay most of the time in my room.
I am a college student in a tier 4 city, and i don't really have savings to buy those products every month! More than that, why the hell skincare products are so expensive!? Especially people like me who are already tanned, how do they afford such expensive sunscreens?
I believe this insecurity of looking ugly has caused me so much distress and trauma, I don't usually step out of my house for this sole reason, I look ugly, I have raely 2-3 friends, and more than that I am fat. All of that together makes a deadly combination. Better to die than to live such a disgraceful life. I don't even want to talk to people, cause I have this insecurity that they would judge me based on my ugly appearance.
I want to change my hairstyle, but getting fancy haircuts and maintaining them require money and I don't have it, as a student! SO BASICALLY MONEY IS EVERYTHING!? I can't even buy skincare products, I can't even change my appearance, I can't even buy stylish clothes, I can't even life peacefully regardless of how I look, just because I don't have money?
Maybe for most of you this would be such a small issue, or not even a considerable issue, but I don't think I would ever be able to overcome this trauma and insecurity...