> I do not go out of room
> I do not cook
> Do not meet anyone
> Do not turn room lights on
> Keep crying in room
> Doesnt talk to my parents
> Eat outside food
> Keep worrying about life and money
> Keep comparing myself
Its very overwheling and I get very strong urge to end all of this in a whip , but I dont have courage to even do that
M28 living in Bangalore. I’m currently with my mother and father at my parental home in Delhi for a few weeks as I’m on work tour. In the same house currently it’s of course worse, but even when I’m away alone at my own place, it’s hardly any better.
Me and my parents are very different people and that’s where the problems mostly start. Their opinions, preferences, lifestyle, etc. are very very different to mine. That aside, it’s very normal to distance and be different from your parents once you’re an adult, but sadly they think otherwise. They themselves moved out of their parental home in their early twenties and hardly had any parental influence or micromanagement from their parents, but for me they think otherwise.
I keep a light stubble beard but they want me to be clean shaved. This has been going on for at least 6 years now. Whenever I do a trim, they would always bring it up that it’s not what they like and not what others will like etc etc. “We have just one expectation from you to be clean shaved and you can’t do such a simple thing for us?”. Just the way they look at me after any trim is extremely disgusting, not to mention the comments that follow.
They want to know absolutely everything that is going on in my life. I don’t like to share certain things with family, even with friends, but they would constantly keep pushing and stalk me, ask others around me what’s going on, etc etc. I would constantly be asked to tell where I am throughout the day, even come on video call as proof to show where I am, etc. They’ll also constantly expose certain things about me to multiple people around that I want to be private. Recently I was in an evening office event in Bangalore where I was not able to answer my phone the whole evening as we all kept our phones in our bags. When I reached home around 11 PM, I noticed 19 missed calls. I dropped them a text saying that I was in an event today and will call them tomorrow. Next morning at 7 AM, my uncle and aunt who live in Bangalore far away from my place, suddenly turn up at my door, saying that my parents asked them to visit and check on me as I did not answer the phone the whole evening and they got worried. I live in a 1BHK alone and obviously there are certain things around in my house when I’m alone that I do not feel comfortable others seeing, such as my multivitamins, sports supplements, my laundry basket, or other things etc. I’m pretty sure nobody living in a 1BHK will be ready to let someone in without preparation or knowing someone is about to come for a visit. It was so uncomfortable for me but somehow I managed to instead go outside with them to talk rather than let them inside. This has now made me very paranoid about my space that someone can come into my house at any given time, and being a 1BHK I can’t always be prepared and clean things up for someone else abruptly.
Whenever I’m sick, I genuinely need my space and peace for good recovery and good rest. I have mentioned this since childhood but they just don’t leave me alone even as an adult. A while back I had a normal flu and at night I locked my room as usual after dinner, and told them on call to let me rest peacefully as well as texted them. A while later for some odd reason they overreacted and kept spamming me with calls. I picked up and said please let me rest, and on text I literally wrote “Leave me alone please. Good night” like at least 3 times. I ultimately had to switch off my phone due to the constant pings, but then they started and kept banging my door even after I told them to let me rest. They then proceeded to break through the back window of my room, open the curtains, and get inside. Not only it was obviously super uncomfortable and surprising for me having my room suddenly breached, but also it further irritated and worried me as they were exposing themselves to the flu as well by deliberately coming close to me. I was simply trying to have a peaceful sleep, but then they also started insisting for me to take medicine for a simple flu, go to doctor, this that etc etc. I managed to sleep after 4 AM that night due to all the chaos.
I’m 28 currently and I have made it very clear that I do not want to get married right now. It’s my personal choice and I don’t want to be influenced by anyone. They constantly keep bringing up girls, which is still okay and understandable I can deal with it, but it is their uncomfortably close comments that bother me. They talk about sexual things, intimacy, emotional needs, etc etc. which I genuinely do not feel comfortable hearing. Dating/marriage is something I take very privately but they openly talk about even the private aspects. The more I try to distance myself, the more they keep pushing into my space, thinking that I’m going away or going quiet because I have some issues going on or that I’m lonely this that etc etc. I appreciate their affection and care and I do the same within ethical limits, but they don’t see that line and in overdoing and being overprotective they make things worse than being not cared about at all.
If they know I’m on the road riding my bike, they would constantly keep calling me every few minutes telling me to “ride carefully” and get angry and worried if I don’t answer the phone. I obviously cannot answer my phone multiple times when I’m on a bike, and I’m pretty sure I can live peacefully without hearing “ride carefully” every 10 minutes. They want me to share live location also if I’m travelling, and also they’ll go on maps and tell me to take a different road because they think the other one is more riskier etc etc. I obviously don’t openly share whenever I’m travelling riding my bike, but obviously they’ll know it few times and when they do, it’s impossible to have a normal concentrated ride and it’s in fact more dangerous constantly getting distracted with a ringing phone in the pocket.
There is no end to controversial comments. If rarely I do answer back saying that something bothers me, I’ll be replied to with “This is why we raised you? To be treated like this after everything we’ve done for you?” etc etc. If I say something about someone that bothered me, they’ll go “You’re weak. Learn to face the world” etc etc. “Fine we will never talk about anything to you again. You don’t understand a parent’s concern” etc etc. Then they won’t talk to me for several days and keep a disappointed face. There’s absolutely no end to drama. They just don’t give up breaching my space and boundaries all in the name of “we care about you” and I genuinely don’t know how to make it stop. Every single day they think and even tell to my face “You haven’t seen the world you’re too innocent and not experienced” etc etc. “We have seen the world we know everything” etc etc.
I genuinely don’t know what to do and it’s now strongly affecting my peace, my health, everything, as well as theirs. As we grow they need to slowly distance themselves but at least in my case it's going the other way as I feel every year they keep getting more and more invasive. The stories I have shared above are just few of many incidents that have happened, and the ones who have experienced similar can imagine what it's like overall. More recently, they have been telling me "We are planning to relocate to Bangalore so you can live with us". I subtly gave a hint that I cannot and their instant response was "You don't want to live with us? What have we done to deserve this? Are we bad parents? Why wouldn't you want to live with us?" and also got slightly emotional and teary. I genuinely am drained with all this now and don't know what to do.
I feel afraid or resistance to seek help even though I do want to ask for advice. I fear judgment or something like don't want to hear the bitter truth so I avoid this feelings of confrontation. And I noticed when I don't put effort and don't go out my way to ask for help then my life remains the same and I just continue living in this mindset for years and years. No sign of growth and progression.
I have no clue what I'm doing with my life anymore. I want to earn money and become financially independent, but I'm currently doing a BAMS degree and I have absolutely no interest in it. I don't understand anything that's taught, I don't feel like studying, and it honestly just feels like I'm wasting my time.
It's been 1.5 years already. I'm only doing this because of my parents. They wanted me to have a degree. I argued with them when I first got admitted and told them I didn't want to do it, but they kept saying, "Just complete the degree, then do whatever you want."
Now I feel completely stuck. My mental health has gotten really bad. I don't even know what I want to do anymore or what I'm interested in. I have no idea what my future looks like or what career I'll end up pursuing. I'm just confused, lost, and exhausted. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you figure things out?
Joined a Non-BLACKI tier 1 MBA around a week back. Been hellish ever since for several reasons. Not felt this suffocated in forever. Maybe it was also a mismatch between my idea of what MBA is like and the reality. Honestly, not even that much to do with the course, but about my ability to fit in socially. I'm unable to talk to anyone here, feel very isolated, and constantly having a racing heart.
I've always had mental health issues throughout my life, and now they are already flaring up pretty badly to be very honest. I'm having incredibly morbid thoughts and ideations.
My mom called and said please come back if you think this is unbearable. And I think I might.
The future scares me, about having to answer this to others, but I feel so numb rn. Rn for me everything is the bleakest it has been in ages, I'm regretting every single decision that made me give my entire life to CAT for last 1.5 years, and regretting my whole life in general.
I'll get 9 backlogs just bcz I was too much of a coward to show up for exams ,
Now I am having hard time going to theory exams bcz I am not able to study , and I can't handle others students sitting around or even a teacher looking at me ,
With this much of backlog i'll get detained for a year ,
Even still I can't think of going back there again
I give up last minute of exams and won't go and ends up getting backlog just bcz if the results are failed it will be the proof of failure so I look for escape , when I open notes i automatically get into moments how I'll deal with teachers or students or what I'll do , then realise I was just staring at notes
I regret that I wasted a year , even if I take a drop for this year I'll always regret that I let opportunities slip from my hand , I did once complete the assignments and Attended practicals and lectures , I'll always think that once I had it all figured out but I let myself go into the temporary comfort zone and got it all destroyed .
I am scared that even in future I'll get in the same place today I am in and it scares me that I'll end up in same situation.
Hi everybody, I just wanted to share that I’ve finally completed my license in LMT ( licensed massage therapist )
Can’t wait for the journey and what’s ahead for me!
Let’s celebrate!!!
Idk, why I am posting this here, but in future if my family and friends see this, please don't judge me. I did this because of my own mental health and I wanted a relief from what I am suffering in my mind. My mind constantly speaks something terrible to me and I can't control it. Everytime I control it, becomes worse and worse.
Everything is fine and good in present but my future seems dark to me, like full of taunts, comparison and negative thinking. The only solution is this, so please forgive me. I will remember you forever. Thank you.
(TL;DR at end)
seriously bhai, why do some teachers have this obsession with invading students' privacy? har cheez mein ghusna hai, har random cheez ki investigation krni hai, jaise RAW aur CID ne combined operation pe bhej diya ho . notebook tumhari hai lekin ownership unki feel hoti hai. last page pe kya likha hai, kya scribble kiya hai, kya kaata hai, kya mitaaya hai, sab jaan na hai. bc privacy naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai ya nhi?
there is this one teacher in my school and she's absolutely annoying and she wants to get some you know to rant and scold, its like entertainment for her at this point. matlab agar ek din kisi ko suna na de toh shayad uska dinner digest hi na ho
and what she does ki notebook check krne ke bahane she jumps onto the last page (aapko toh pata hi hoga last page pe kya kya creativity hoti hai ). random bakchodi, doodles, signatures, weird thoughts, pura cinematic universe chal rha hota hai udhar.and bc she even tries to read words on which students had scribbled matlab jo cheez jaan bujh ke unreadable kri gayi hai usko bhi decode krne ki koshish krti hai aur phir uspe scene create kr deti hai.
and yahi ek baar a frnd threw me a crumbled paper and i was pretty much in attending her class and didnt read and threw in dustbin.
bc pata hai usne kya kiya?
usne legit paper dustbin se nikal kr padha 💀(it was corny asf)
and since i had no idea usme kya likha tha so i wasnt that much intrested in it. though i respect elders but she is indeed such a karen.
she came to me and lagatar 4 thappad maare and bola, "ye sab likhte sochte ho tum? tum un logo ki trah ho jo gov school ke hai, school ke baad chote skirt wali ladkiyo ko taadte hai, sadko pe awaragardi krte hai, aur zindagi mein kuch nhi krte" and what not.
matlab bhai muh kholte hi gobar ki ulti kr di usne. bc maine paper padha tak nhi tha aur madam ne pura criminal profile bana diya mera
and maine complain ki uski jisne paper feka coz usually he acts like a bully to me and kisi bhi teacher ne action nhi liya. literally nobody cared aur ye saari wahi teachers hain jo mere parents ko mujhe ground krne ke liye bolte just bcz mai syllabus se jyada puch leta hu. i just fkin hate school and wanna pass out so bad (abhi 10th mein hu)
(btw paper likha tha something gay LGBT related idk 😭 maine padha bhi nhi tha)
TL;DR: Teacher has a weird obsession with invading students' privacy. She always checks the last pages of notebooks, tries to read scribbled-out stuff, and once even took a crumpled paper out of the dustbin to read it. I hadn't even read that paper, but she slapped me 4 times and started making wild assumptions and comparisons about me. The guy who actually threw the paper at me is a bully, but no teacher took any action against him. Respectfully, some teachers seriously need to understand personal boundaries. 💀(TL;DR from chat gpt)
Distancing myself from certain people has always been excruciating, I feel as if I'll fall sick or something. Every impulse in my body asks me to talk to them and i keep ruminating about them but I can't because that isn't the right thing to do. I feel very creepy and stalker-ish. Why am I like this? I hate how addictive people are, you literally start looking for other addictions to forget the loneliness caused by your own yearning.
Please read if you have time.
Ok so this is very very new to me.. I don't usually bare open my thoughts online but I don't have anyone in life to tell these things so just bear me..um technically my mom knows my condition but I don't want to worry her anymore.. she is schizophrenic so there is that.
I always thought that am kinda introverted person.. like i don't like to socialize at all.. I even never call my grandma to check up on her.. nd being an only child.. I have always felt lonely.. I had figured that i have social anxiety for an year nd half as long as I remember.. It was so worse that in public while traveling I would sweat a lot.. like if I got a seat I would think what's the person stting beside me is thinking nd all.. plus as I am very skinny..I hear this a lot "why are you so skinny" and this insecurity is like rubbing salt in my wound..
Now it is slightly manageable but it takes a lot of effort to stop overthinking.. I know I have to take therapy later.. but i just want to tell that to everyone who is having a hard time never lose hope fight hard that's only the possible way to get through this.
Nd if anyone has any other suggestions please let me know.
A close female relative visited today, and she made me feel so inferior by the way I was treated, she was so much nice to my brother than to me, completely ignored my existence when I was the one serving her tea and food, I understand that she and her family is closer to my brother since childhood, as I'm not a very open person and I don't like talk to people about my personal things unless I really trust them, so I wasn't very close to them since my childhood, specifically after I lost my dad at age 11..but today I felt so ignored, the way I was treated, along with the hidden misogyny that was present, it kinda broke me, idk if I should attend her daughter's wedding anymore but everyone keeps blaming me for not talking or socialising with people, and I'll again be blamed for not attending...why should I go somewhere when I know how I'll be treated...
I am 18 i passed my driving license just a few days ago and since dad wasnt home and the car had to be taken to the garage i took it which is around 30km drive and while coming back there was construction work going on on the opposite lane and my dumbass didnt slow down there was a woman going on the side of road (there were no footpaths) and an oncoming car came onto my lane due to construction work so i tried to squeeze the car between lady and the other car and the car was very close to that lady am glad i didnt hit anyone even the neighbor who sat beside me to accompany me till the garage and back said "drive slow bro" i said yeah and i was like phew
Yo, I jst got up from the most twisted nightmare lol n ts has been happening everyday so dreamt I was chased by a baby n then saw a truck dumping dead bodies to pave a road out of em yes they were literally paving the street w human remains n now m lowkey spooked to go back to sleep
Growing up childhood was a mess maybe I was too sensitive or maybe it was justified, I can’t tell. I felt everything that was said to me, everytime I was called a burden, or worse. I think I’ve made progress? I don’t find myself crying all the time, I shiver less, I manage myself better (questionable), I was really suicidal around 2 year ago I couldn’t think of anything but dying, these days I feel it again at micro levels perhaps won’t get there. I feel numb, I can’t rant to people, I keep suppressing my emotions as much as I can, maybe I’m convicted that’s the only thing that works or it’s an illusion I’ve. I’m an adult now, but I haven’t accepted adulthood. I don’t know what exactly am I even trying to say. I feel lonely a lot these days. It’s not that I’ve no one to talk to but I feel I can’t connect to anyone properly or if I’m I withdraw myself, it’s almost like being scared. I keep getting attached to unhealthy relations. I hate going to college, I hate interacting with people. I’m an introvert but I do like talking with people. I don’t understand my own pace and behaviour lately. It’s always trying to entertain some sort of a void inside me that I’ve been dealing with since forever. That’s all thank you for reading all that and have a great day! (Well night it’s like 3am) :D
I am 19f and i don't miss anybody not even my parents All my friendships are like kinda fake. My mom says you don't call me, although i know she's a good woman and i love her. I rarely miss her and my dad is non exist. Sometimes i forget i have a dad too, not like he is a bad person or something but i rarely miss my parents or anybody in this world.
19f in my colony there's a female cat who bred kids with this guy and the father killed his 3 neonatal children. Although i don't like the w ife cat too, imagine killing your own kid not one but 3. Apparently its a thing in cats, fathers kill kids.
i don’t know if this is the right place but i just need to get this off my chest. i am 23 and i have more or less accepted that i am just an average looking. the kind of guy who looks like an uncle already, blends completely into the crowd and never really stands out. I don’t even want to be in the spotlight or anything but it still stings knowing i will probably never feel like a handsome man ever at least not physically. I almost never get approached. I never ever get genuine compliments on my looks. Most days it feels like i am just there. Invisible in that department and yeah i know looks aren’t everything. I know personality, stability and how i treat people matter way more in the long run but still it hurts. It makes me feel like something is missing.
i am not here to fish for compliments or sympathy. i have accepted this reality for the most part but some days it weighs on me heavier than usual and i keep wondering if this is just how my life is going to be.
On the other side i am not actively working on myself trying to build a good life, focus on my goals, my career, my peace and becoming someone I can be proud of beyond just appearance cuz of my fear and in securities. I want to live well even if i never become the guy people find attractive. I guess i just needed to say it out loud. That even after accepting it, it still feels lonely all the times. If anyone else feels the same way i would love to know i am not alone in this.
Thanks for reading.
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The more I observe people lives and try to understand humans, I just cannot figure it out. Because the way we are raised is not how results appear maybe it does for some but not for everyone. You grow up with hearing do good in life, do the hard work, have good intentions and life will reward you but in majority of most cases even if a person does right and works hard they still end up sacrificing. And those who take shortcuts, lie, betray, cheat end up winning in life and insane part is they are genuinely happy doing wrong to others. Like I have this relative cousin who grew up poor didn't have the financial situation to go school and he worked all life but no happiness came in life. People betrayed him. Even when he was nice and hard working. And entire life went by but all he was was struggle and sacrifice. And then there are people who are so privileged or blessed to have everything yet they complain about everything. As if in the world they are the ones with the biggest problems.
So I’m in my early 30s, working in a corporate job. 9-7 meetings, deadlines, the usual. And I’ve been tracking my cycle for a while now.
Here’s the pattern I noticed:
Right around ovulation week, everything feels dialed up.
I’m more confident in meetings. I talk more. I make eye contact. I actually like networking.
But also… my brain gets weirdly flirty. With coworkers. With the guy from another team I barely talk to. With literally anyone who’s vaguely competent and wears a blazer.
It’s not like I’m planning to act on it. But the temptation to just be more open, more bold, more “hey let’s grab coffee” is so much stronger that week.
Then 2 weeks later during PMS I look back and cringe like “why was I like that”
So I have 3 questions for the women here in corporate:
Does anyone else notice a huge shift in confidence/attraction around ovulation?\*
How do you deal with temptation at work without making it weird?\* Because workplace + bad decisions = nightmare.
Am I just overthinking hormones or is this actually a thing?
I’m not trying to be unprofessional. I love my job and I don’t want to mess it up. But it feels like my body and my 9-7 are fighting each other one week every month.
Anyone else navigating this? How do you manage it?