r/OffMyChestIndia

From my childhood people have been complimenting my fair/ white skin colour like crazy, it felt racist to me in a way but now I've been brainwashed to myself want other white features like lighter eyes and blonde hair, although I'm not insecure about my dark brown hair because my hair is really long so it makes up for the colour.. but my eye colour.. I hate it soooo much it's so bland you can't even see my pupils it's so simple so basic, everyone tells me I would look better with coloured eyes, even my mom (who's also indian) has green eyes so people keep telling me "you had a chance! But didn't get green eyes" all because of my dad's brown eyes ugh anyways even my older sister has light eyes, they're brown but atleast light brown and I'm here with my basic eyes.. people tell me I have been "nerfed by God" I hate it :(

Whenever I scroll reels if I even see some person with light eyes I stop and feel jealous, this happens while watching series too.. I feel like if any guy in my country likes me it's only because he can't get any other prettier girl, I'm the last option they got ... Maybe this is all because of the environment i grew in but I genuinely lowkey believe no guy in my country would like me for me and only like me cus he can't get a white girl

Yes. I hate people who get spoonfed. I'm in college a very good clg in T1 city. I have few friends whos fathers are rich af. To get admission in this clg one needs minimum 97 percentile for core branch like instrumentation engineering.

I have friends who have 70-80ish percentiles they got admission here. why? because their fathers are reach af. Now even my profs are casteist and discriminate alot. Ppl from this T1 city with particular caste are spoonfed with the internship offers while we just struggle our ahhess off to land an internship in electronics field.

I just hate them.

Additionally, thet don't even have basic knowledge of what are they doing, what are they studying, dumbahh people fr. But I just can't express my anger infront of them.

I even hate cse and IT peeps from my clg. They don't do a shit and get 20-30+ lpa package. While we from core are expected to do everything software+ hardware. I know freaking everything from their syllabus, oops, dbms, dsa, full stack web dev, os, computation, aiml, cv, cn, dl, cloud computing. Along with that I even know analog, digital, sensor integration, microprocessor, microcontroller, embedded c programming, micropython, iot, excel, power bi, minitab, sql, dsp, dip, vlsi, fpga, etc etc.

Even after having this much skills, what we get? Max 12 lpa.

I just hate everyone tbh

I was skinny all my life. Standing at 6 ft and just 60 kg, I was basically a stick. School was still bearable, but college was worse. My confidence was so low that I used to avoid girls altogether. Four years went by like that no girlfriend, nothing.

I tried gaining weight, but staying in a hostel with terrible food and no money for whey or extra meals made it difficult.

Then I got a job, started earning, joined a gym, trained consistently for 2 years, and ate like a horse. I gained close to 40 lbs muscles . Now I stand at 90 kg.

The confidence change is unreal. I don’t fear confrontation anymore. Even the way people behave around me has changed no more demeaning jokes, people are more respectful and careful with how they talk. I get way more attention from women now. Even aunties at the gym ask for Instagram sometimes lol.

But the biggest gain is how comfortable I’ve become talking to strangers ,police, government officials, random people on the road everyone talks with more respect now.

A guy who once struggled to make eye contact with girls now gets approached by them.

And one underrated benefit I don’t feel cold all the time anymore. Back when I first joined my job, I used to shiver in office AC and constantly ask housekeeping to lower it.

People say “just be confident,” but the reality is that how the world treats you absolutely affects your confidence.

I genuinely feel like a complete failure right now.

I’m finishing an MBA in Finance & Analytics from a decent business school after already completing a finance-focused undergraduate degree, and somehow I’m still struggling to get even an entry-level opportunity that pays enough to survive in a metro city.

Before anyone says “maybe you don’t have skills or experience,” here’s the reality:

- Multiple internships across finance, analytics, treasury, research, and operations
- Experience with SAP, Excel, Power BI, financial modeling, equity research, forecasting, liquidity management, and reporting
- Certifications from Bloomberg, Wharton, JP Morgan, Google, Microsoft, including certifications in AI and Generative AI
- Research papers published and recognized internationally
- National-level competition wins and academic recognition
- Projects involving R, SPSS, quantitative analysis, market research, and data analytics

And yet most of the offers I’m getting are between ₹5k–₹15k a month, often with no relocation support, no proper role clarity, and barely any growth.

What hurts more is that recruiters and professionals constantly say things like:
“Strong profile”
“Impressive background”
“You’ve done a lot for your age”

But after that?
Ghosting.
Rejections.
Silence.

I genuinely don’t understand what companies want anymore.

People keep saying “upskill yourself,” but how much more am I supposed to do? I already tried building technical skills, finance skills, analytics skills, and now even AI-related certifications because everyone says AI is the future.

At some point it starts feeling like no matter how hard you work, it still won’t be enough unless you have connections, referrals, luck, or family backing.

I’m not saying I deserve a huge salary or some elite position. I just want one fair opportunity to start my career properly.

Right now I honestly feel burnt out and defeated. Years of effort, exams, internships, networking, certifications, and applications — and somehow I still feel unemployable.

Has anyone else experienced this after an MBA or while trying to enter finance?

How did you recover mentally from this phase?

You don't know when a person changes committing to someone for a long term is so risky, I think our parents are right first make a career and then do all the things you like. Investing your time and emotions on someone takes toll on your mental health, distracts you from your own potential just for a specific someone who can change anytime. I don't think I can ever believe in marriage, loyalty, or true love. My father too cheated on my mother he is a really good human other than that. My trust in men will never be the same. I can't believe I got betrayed by someone who was so sweet and genuine or what i thought of him.

Like really toxic, they shit talked me just because a glass dropped and boom both are onto me shouting on me like crazy . Villianizing me as if I have committed grave sins and acting like gods themselves. And listen, when I talked about when my dad slapped my mother and I protected her, she defending him like "its normal to abuse and that when they growup" , and kept saying that I SHOULD NOT abuse like lol (I just said that I am not a bokachda). My dad slapped and abused and that's completely fine , so what is she's trying to say that its completely fine If I do such things like my dad if I grow up ofc not but no... . And the amount of emotional manipulation and gaslighting that "dad is thinking 2 steps ahead blah blah (he couldn't even give me a proper coaching for 10th and jee) " my mom also denied for any coaching but now 3 years later after seeing she's the one saying why didn't I take any coaching ( what should I even say atp) . I am mentally exhausted currently after such things I have been suffering from a neuro related problem which concerns me about my future and they aren't capable to understand that at all. I am telling the reason I survived year 2023 is a solid prove of mentally strong I am (it was the most traumatic year of my life) . I am tired they don't get it , they never tried to understand me at all just blames me . Everyday I think i should have been aborted , I never wanted this life. No one gets me . Should I just die now? , do you know dad said this too (although not like this very very bluntely) . It feels like I won't survive long . And you know what will happen now I had eat their cooked food ,they never taught me how to cook . I have learned everything on my own from lkg to any other subjects(why should I do all things on my own without any guidance?). The only thing that one made me happy that I once scored 97/100 in sst during my 10th boards . And now I have wbjee on 24 may (and they keep asking how my prep constantly, . You wanna know my dream u wanted to do phd (or masters)from foreign (do guide me if you know something about it )

P.S- SORRY if it looks complicated to read , there are my feelings .I don't want validation sorry if it looks like one. I never shared this . But its a truth that I want people to notice me and and ask me," how I am? " (Its tough for me , maybe I am weak mentally idk).I feel like there is a emotional void in me .

When I was 5, my parents used to fight almost every day. When I was 15, they used to fight every week. Now am 25.... fights have reduced over the years, but they never completely stopped. I know disagreements happen everywhere, but yelling at each other on small issues is never the solution.

I’m doing WFH right now, and today my parents again started yelling at each other over something as stupid as food. I didn’t interrupt them and just went back to my room to continue my work, but suddenly a realization hit me hard this house gave me so many issues. That’s probably why I’m so quiet, why I avoid disagreements, and why I immediately shut down and leave the place as soon as I see even the slightest bit of conflict. And the biggest gift I've received *ANXIETY*.

In this scorching heat we had to take share autos to our college to give our exam and unfortunately I got to sit in the front seat...they usually don't let women sit there but this time they had to, just holding the handles was enough to kill my hands (had to hold it for 40 minutes)😭😭 and I could feel the bump in roads...I understand why guys hate taking the front seat now omggg.

By the time I got off my back was hurting like hell and on top of that my hands were genuinely paining like hell...I couldn't properly write the paper...

Yeahh I don't know :(

Today genuinely feels like my last breaking point. My mind hasn’t been quiet for weeks and I’m no longer able to hold these thoughts inside. Tomorrow debt collectors are coming near my house and I’m terrified my mom will find out everything.

A bad phase and some terrible decisions pushed me into borrowing money thinking I could recover fast, but instead everything spiraled out of control. Every day I wake up with fear in my chest, checking my phone nonstop, avoiding people, pretending I’m okay when mentally I’m collapsing.

The amount may look small to other people, but for me it has completely taken over my life. I’ve tried everything to get out of this situation. I tried consolidating the loans, but my CIBIL score is already damaged so nobody is willing to help.

I asked almost every friend I had hoping someone would come forward, even for temporary support, but nobody did. That feeling hurts more than the debt itself sometimes.

 feel mentally exhausted, ashamed, and completely stuck.

I typed these words MYSELF. This is NOT ai generated.

I’m thinking about becoming a celibate, I have a lot more things to be worried about in life. Everybody’s life is different. Some people are lucky, they have no worries, live happily, and are financially well, and some are not. It’s normal. That’s how life is. It’s not the same for everybody. We have to endure it, there’s no other choice

I’m going through some very tough times. I’ve let down everyone who trusted me, and because of that I’m in a tough situation. Well, it’s life. We have to live it. What else can we do? I can’t just go and kill myself just to escape. It would be cowardice, to let others suffer because of you while you just stop suffering from the materialistic aspects of life.

A few weeks ago, I was shocked to find out a friend of mine had committed suicide. We studied together in the same class for four years, and I was just shocked when I came to know of it. There is no escape from your karma. We have to live it, in this life or the other. We have to endure the karma of our doings.

I have let down the ones who trusted me for years, and now they are suffering because of me. I did not do what I should have done, and I’m worried about it now while I took it casually then. I don’t know what to do.

One thing I have sort of decided is to eliminate my needs and feelings altogether, at least some form of punishment, to teach myself to forgo the materialistic needs of man, so I can be not better, but different from anyone. Lust, lust towards anything, is one of the biggest materialistic feelings in the world, and I understand that more than anything.

I’m at an age where people a year or two younger than me are getting married, and others are asking me when mine is. While I do feel good about all that, I tell myself not to avoid it, but to let it go and pursue what you should, not what you want.

It’s like this feeling where we actually want something, but there is a pull from within, telling you, yes, you need it, but don’t get it. I don’t know how to explain that.

I’m kind of detaching myself from all these physical attachments. I’m not trying to be a monk or something, but just some way of self punishment. We can’t kill ourselves, can we? It stays there as a black mark, more to suffer later on. I have excellently managed to stay away from lust for months at a time as a record.

I’m at a position where I am actually helpless and keep asking why I was brought into this world. Everybody has a purpose in life, some form or the other. What is my purpose?

I ask myself every day, every hour at some point, what am I supposed to do? I have failed in my life more than twice, major failures, including academically and career wise. I have let down people who believed in me, trusted in me, hoped in me, but I’ve let them down.

What does the world expect from “some ant in the Amazon”? What am I supposed to do? I have no idea.

While I continuously look at my own life in the mirror and ask myself every single day, I realize I have let down people, and I’m unable to live with that. So I’m seeing this as a punishment in some ways, to detach myself from every desire and pursue myself to follow what I was supposed to do and finish what I should have.

But I know the pain is there, the pain of forgoing the things in life we all want, and it haunts me every time I think of it and see others live through those things.

I ask myself, am I doing right? Should I do it?

But then all the thoughts about where I am now and what led me to where I am tell me, yes, you have to. This is your punishment. If you can’t kill yourself, then live for the ones whom you let down and do what you are supposed to do.

After all, life is like an ECG reading. It’s full of ups and downs. We have to live it, there’s no other choice. If it goes blank, then we become that cloth which we wore for years, or a week, and then threw away.

Hi everyone.

(19M) I need someone to talk about me. I know I may sound weird but i really need some advice from people who have done very well in life and have been around quality people. I'm posting this because I just don't want to slide into peoples dm and have a conversation. I feel it can be unwelcoming or people may not have time. I have been struggling and it's hard for me to find a direction. I'm confused and skeptical.

Edit- No creeps please.

I'm a dropper. I don't want to write RENEET.

I understand this may be some god given chance or whatever to improve my score. But I don't want to give it anymore. It's simply just asking me for too much - push through the exhaustion, regain my momentum, study hard, and risk failure again.

All for what? A degree? A job?

If I fail the same exam twice a year, as a dropper, my self esteem will NEVER be the same. No matter what I do in life it'll take me years to recover from the trauma.

Medicine was my passion. WAS. After all the chaos, I can't find joy in it anymore. I want to vomit at the thought of having to study that hard in college and even in PG.

The doctor dream is dead. They killed it.

They took the greatest job in the world and they ruined it.

Medicine at the end of the day is just a job. I don't have big aspirations for wealth. I just want enough money to buy novels and occasional joyous splurging (like a vacation every now and then). And there's easier ways to achieve this I believe.

I wanted to save lives but I'm trying to save myself first.

What will I do now, then? I don't know. I have my IISER exam on 7th. Other options are economics (my mother studied that and I find it kind of interesting).

But honestly, I just feel dead inside. I feel suicidal every day but I've told myself to wait until December 31st 2026 when I'll be in some or the other college. If things haven't gotten better by then, I just might go through with it. I might. I don't know.

Its true and I ashamed

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Does anyone have a hard time understanding themselves. Like I'm 30 now and for such a long time now I've been feeling overwhelmed and this feeling of missing something. It's like I'm not understanding this feeling..

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I feel like I'm the only one who is 30 and doesn't have life figured out and secured. I'm literally depending on someone else income to live life and feeling like an incapable adult child. I don't have any goals created. I feel like I'm the weak, slow, lazy one. I let ego and pride get to me. Even though I keep saying I carry shame and anxiety. I resist to seek help and advice because I know deep down I'll get made fun of or might get viewed differently. And I don't really know how to figure out life despite watching multiple self improvement videos. Like I'm 30 but I still have no job. Still no college degree and skills. Still no friends and not driving. I feel ashamed I don't have money in my pocket nor self esteem. Even lately ive been avoiding phone calls and social gatherings because I just feel shame honestly. I don't like the fact I have to lie towards others because ultimately it makes me feel small.

Hey r/OffMyChestIndia fam,

Welcome to our “How Are You Feeling Today?” thread! 🌟 This is a space where you can share whatever’s on your mind, no matter how big or small.

🌞Feeling happy? Tell us what’s making your day shine!
🌧️Feeling stressed or down? Let it out, we’re here to listen.
🌈Feeling something you can’t quite put into words? Share it anyway, just expressing it helps.

No need to overthink, just let it flow. This thread is your safe space to express yourself without the need to create a full post.

So, how are you feeling today? Let’s chat, connect, and support each other. ❤️

So this is my story. I am 22f. I'll soon graduate Btech from a shit tier college. I couldn't get placed, didn't have much opportunities at college tbh and i also lacked skills to get offcampus. I tried like hell to get a job, because I fucking hate asking a penny from my parents who are always guilt tripping me even if I ask a 10 rs.. I even got a 20k job, its no way related to my field(CS) but yeah, its still a job. I've always been very ambitious in life. I had a lot of dreams. I want to crack Gate exam with good score and get into masters. Not just about dreams, I simply don't wish to even think of marriage right now as I'm still figuring out a lot of things. I have a really bad anxiety issue as well. My parents all the time only think of marriage. My mom directly says, "please allow us to get rid of our responsibility". I feel like such a burden when I hear this. I feel broken inside. They keep ranting about marriage every now and then. Trying to introduce me to random guys(usually relatives) saying they are interested in me. I hate all of this shit. I am going through the worst phase of my life where I still don't have a proper job, getting pushed for marriage, struggling with mental health issues. I haven't even got my period since last 3 months, don't know why. I feel like killing myself each day and I'm regretting my existence every second.

I’m 30 years old, and I grew up with emotionally unavailable parents. Back then, I knew something was wrong with me, but neither I nor anyone around me understood it was actually mental health related.
On paper, I’ve done pretty well in life. I’ve had a good career and achieved decent financial success. But mentally, I’m struggling badly. Recently, I visited my hometown after a long time, and my dad brought up something that affected me so deeply that it took me almost 2–3 weeks to recover emotionally.
Then two days ago, I visited my aunt’s house. An incident happened, and my cousin said something to me that hit me hard again. What made it hurt more is that I’ve helped him and his family a lot financially over the years. At this point, I’ve already started isolating myself. I genuinely feel like cutting off almost every family member except my brother, my sister in law who understands me somewhat, and my little niece, whom I love more than anything. Honestly, at this point, she feels like my whole world.
But at the same time, I don’t know if I can keep going completely alone either.
I’m struggling pretty badly right now. Sometimes I just feel like resting my head on someone’s lap and crying my heart out, but I genuinely feel like there’s nobody I can fully trust.
Never thought life would end up like this for me. Right now I honestly feel hopeless. I don’t even know what could fix me anymore.
Honestly, I don’t even know what I want from posting this here. Maybe I just wanted to vent it out somewhere.

Just two months of good weather - February and November. December, January is too cold. March is the beginning of heat. From March to October, I have to tolerate so much sweat and heat.

If any place in India has good climate, it is in higher altitude. Who lives in hills? Infra is hard to develop there.

Atleast winters don't have electricity issue. From summers to monsoon, frequent power cuts are a norm. Monsoon is terrible as hell too. When it doesn't rains, you get drenched in sweat. 33°C and humidity is not a pleasant thing. Power cuts are common in monsoon due to rains or strong winds.

Currently it's summers. Whenever it's power cut, I cannot tolerate it at all. Most part of the year, it's so unpleasant. Winters are still better if you remove fog. I will have to wait for 6 months to relax.

The coastal cities in India don't have cold or blistering heat but they have drenching heat whole year. I want to settle in Uttarakhand but monsoon and winters would be very terrible.

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So ,I am desperate for a girl or should I say whichever girl I see I imagine myself with her .I recently losty female bestfrnd i meant she blocked me due to a misunderstanding i had a feeling for her and then it repeated like whichever girl I feel close i will aumatically fall in love with the girls and today like right now I saw a village girl I used to play with when I was 4 th smth and she was extremely beautiful I can't even let her Outta my sight it's like the second I saw I can't think anything else .I think I have fallen in love with her too what the fuck is wrong with me I just need a girl to love me .I just I quit i will end up a single in my lyf

Sorry guys just wanted to share my frustrations