u/billuluvrr

When we first started dating, he was extremely loving and caring. He made me feel special, protected, and genuinely loved, and I never imagined that the same relationship would eventually become one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. He was su**cid@l and struggling deeply with his mental health, and I genuinely understood that a lot of his behavior came from a place of severe emotional pain. I tried to be patient and supportive because I knew he wasn't okay.

But slowly, he started taking me for granted, becoming increasingly aggressive and unpredictable, and I found myself constantly walking on eggshells. He would call me hundreds of times when I was busy, sometimes around 200 times nonstop, and if I didn't answer, he'd become angry and then guilt-trip me.

He sent me videos of blood and videos of him hurting himself, and because I knew he was su**cid@l , I was constantly terrified that ignoring him or leaving him might result in something terrible happening. That guilt made me feel trapped. I couldn't bring myself to leave because I genuinely feared for his life and felt responsible for keeping him okay.

Eventually, every notification on my phone became terrifying. I started having severe anxiety attacks, struggling to breathe, crying, and feeling like something horrible was about to happen. I couldn't concentrate in class, sleep properly, or enjoy normal things anymore because my mind was constantly waiting for the next crisis.

Then things escalated beyond his su**cid@l behavior and started affecting my own safety. So when I was trying to break up with him and block him , he started bl@ckmailing me, tried to reach my house, and would stalk me from my class toward my home. I started looking behind me while walking and feeling unsafe in places where I had previously felt completely normal.

What made it so complicated was that I knew he was su*cid@l, and I knew he was suffering, so a part of me kept feeling guilty for being afraid of him. I kept thinking, He's hurting, he's not okay, maybe I should understand him, while simultaneously becoming more and more traumatized myself.

I don't want to erase the fact that he was genuinely struggling or pretend that his su*cid@l thoughts weren't real. I believe they were, and that is part of why I stayed for so long. But his suffering doesn't erase what his actions did to me. The relationship left me with severe anxiety, fear, hypervigilance, and a complete loss of trust in my own sense of safety.

Even after it ended, I became scared to date again. Getting close to another guy started feeling frightening because I was constantly thinking, What if he changes? What if I can't leave? What if caring about someone means losing myself again? I cared about him deeply, and I still don't think being su**cid@l makes someone a bad person.I was trying to keep him alive while slowly losing myself.

It's been 6 months and he's trying to reach again, what should I do?

When we first started dating, he was extremely loving and caring. He made me feel special, protected, and genuinely loved, and I never imagined that the same relationship would eventually become one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. He was suicidal and struggling deeply with his mental health, and I genuinely understood that a lot of his behavior came from a place of severe emotional pain. I tried to be patient and supportive because I knew he wasn't okay.

But slowly, he started taking me for granted, becoming increasingly aggressive and unpredictable, and I found myself constantly walking on eggshells. He would call me hundreds of times when I was busy, sometimes around 200 times nonstop, and if I didn't answer, he'd become angry and then guilt-trip me. He sent me videos of blood and videos of him hurting himself, and because I knew he was suicidal, I was constantly terrified that ignoring him or leaving him might result in something terrible happening. That guilt made me feel trapped. I couldn't bring myself to leave because I genuinely feared for his life and felt responsible for keeping him okay. Eventually, every notification on my phone became terrifying. I started having severe anxiety attacks, struggling to breathe, shaking, crying, and feeling like something horrible was about to happen. I couldn't concentrate in class, sleep properly, or enjoy normal things anymore because my mind was constantly waiting for the next crisis.

Then things escalated beyond his suicidal behavior and started affecting my own safety. So when I was trying to break up with him and block him , he started blackmailing me, tried to reach my house, and would stalk me from my class toward my home. I started looking behind me while walking and feeling unsafe in places where I had previously felt completely normal. What made it so complicated was that I knew he was suicidal, and I knew he was suffering, so a part of me kept feeling guilty for being afraid of him. I kept thinking, He's hurting, he's not okay, maybe I should understand him, while simultaneously becoming more and more traumatized myself. I don't want to erase the fact that he was genuinely struggling or pretend that his suicidal thoughts weren't real. I believe they were, and that is part of why I stayed for so long. But his suffering doesn't erase what his actions did to me. The relationship left me with severe anxiety, fear, hypervigilance, and a complete loss of trust in my own sense of safety.

Even after it ended, I became scared to date again. Getting close to another guy started feeling frightening because I was constantly thinking, What if he changes? What if I can't leave? What if caring about someone means losing myself again? I cared about him deeply, and I still don't think being suicidal makes someone a bad person.I was trying to keep him alive while slowly losing myself.

It's been 6 months and he's trying to reach again, what should I do?

When we first started dating, he was extremely loving and caring. He made me feel special, protected, and genuinely loved, and I never imagined that the same relationship would eventually become one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. He was suicidal and struggling deeply with his mental health, and I genuinely understood that a lot of his behavior came from a place of severe emotional pain. I tried to be patient and supportive because I knew he wasn't okay.

But slowly, he started taking me for granted, becoming increasingly aggressive and unpredictable, and I found myself constantly walking on eggshells. He would call me hundreds of times when I was busy, sometimes around 200 times nonstop, and if I didn't answer, he'd become angry and then guilt-trip me. He sent me videos of blood and videos of him hurting himself, and because I knew he was suicidal, I was constantly terrified that ignoring him or leaving him might result in something terrible happening. That guilt made me feel trapped. I couldn't bring myself to leave because I genuinely feared for his life and felt responsible for keeping him okay. Eventually, every notification on my phone became terrifying. I started having severe anxiety attacks, struggling to breathe, shaking, crying, and feeling like something horrible was about to happen. I couldn't concentrate in class, sleep properly, or enjoy normal things anymore because my mind was constantly waiting for the next crisis. Then things escalated beyond his suicidal behavior and started affecting my own safety. So when I was trying to break up with him and block him , he started blackmailing me, tried to reach my house, and would stalk me from my class toward my home. I started looking behind me while walking and feeling unsafe in places where I had previously felt completely normal. What made it so complicated was that I knew he was suicidal, and I knew he was suffering, so a part of me kept feeling guilty for being afraid of him. I kept thinking, He's hurting, he's not okay, maybe I should understand him, while simultaneously becoming more and more traumatized myself. I don't want to erase the fact that he was genuinely struggling or pretend that his suicidal thoughts weren't real. I believe they were, and that is part of why I stayed for so long. But his suffering doesn't erase what his actions did to me. The relationship left me with severe anxiety, fear, hypervigilance, and a complete loss of trust in my own sense of safety.

Even after it ended, I became scared to date again. Getting close to another guy started feeling frightening because I was constantly thinking, What if he changes? What if I can't leave? What if caring about someone means losing myself again? I cared about him deeply, and I still don't think being suicidal makes someone a bad person. But I have also learned that someone's mental illness can explain their behavior without making me responsible for enduring it. I could empathize with his pain and still acknowledge my own trauma. I was trying to keep him alive while slowly losing myself, and I don't think anyone should have to sacrifice their own mental health and safety to prove that they love someone.

When we first started dating, he was extremely loving and caring. He made me feel special, protected, and genuinely loved, and I never imagined that the same relationship would eventually become one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. He was suicidal and struggling deeply with his mental health, and I genuinely understood that a lot of his behavior came from a place of severe emotional pain. I tried to be patient and supportive because I knew he wasn't okay.

But slowly, he started taking me for granted, becoming increasingly aggressive and unpredictable, and I found myself constantly walking on eggshells. He would call me hundreds of times when I was busy, sometimes around 200 times nonstop, and if I didn't answer, he'd become angry and then guilt-trip me. He sent me videos of blood and videos of him hurting himself, and because I knew he was suicidal, I was constantly terrified that ignoring him or leaving him might result in something terrible happening. That guilt made me feel trapped. I couldn't bring myself to leave because I genuinely feared for his life and felt responsible for keeping him okay. Eventually, every notification on my phone became terrifying. I started having severe anxiety attacks, struggling to breathe, shaking, crying, and feeling like something horrible was about to happen. I couldn't concentrate in class, sleep properly, or enjoy normal things anymore because my mind was constantly waiting for the next crisis. Then things escalated beyond his suicidal behavior and started affecting my own safety. So when I was trying to break up with him and block him , he started blackmailing me, tried to reach my house, and would stalk me from my class toward my home. I started looking behind me while walking and feeling unsafe in places where I had previously felt completely normal. What made it so complicated was that I knew he was suicidal, and I knew he was suffering, so a part of me kept feeling guilty for being afraid of him. I kept thinking, He's hurting, he's not okay, maybe I should understand him, while simultaneously becoming more and more traumatized myself. I don't want to erase the fact that he was genuinely struggling or pretend that his suicidal thoughts weren't real. I believe they were, and that is part of why I stayed for so long. But his suffering doesn't erase what his actions did to me. The relationship left me with severe anxiety, fear, hypervigilance, and a complete loss of trust in my own sense of safety.

Even after it ended, I became scared to date again. Getting close to another guy started feeling frightening because I was constantly thinking, What if he changes? What if I can't leave? What if caring about someone means losing myself again? I cared about him deeply, and I still don't think being suicidal makes someone a bad person. But I have also learned that someone's mental illness can explain their behavior without making me responsible for enduring it. I could empathize with his pain and still acknowledge my own trauma. I was trying to keep him alive while slowly losing myself, and I don't think anyone should have to sacrifice their own mental health and safety to prove that they love someone.

When we first started dating, he was extremely loving and caring. He made me feel special, protected, and genuinely loved, and I never imagined that the same relationship would eventually become one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. He was suicidal and struggling deeply with his mental health, and I genuinely understood that a lot of his behavior came from a place of severe emotional pain. I tried to be patient and supportive because I knew he wasn't okay.

But slowly, he started taking me for granted, becoming increasingly aggressive and unpredictable, and I found myself constantly walking on eggshells. He would call me hundreds of times when I was busy, sometimes around 200 times nonstop, and if I didn't answer, he'd become angry and then guilt-trip me. He sent me videos of blood and videos of him hurting himself, and because I knew he was suicidal, I was constantly terrified that ignoring him or leaving him might result in something terrible happening. That guilt made me feel trapped. I couldn't bring myself to leave because I genuinely feared for his life and felt responsible for keeping him okay. Eventually, every notification on my phone became terrifying. I started having severe anxiety attacks, struggling to breathe, shaking, crying, and feeling like something horrible was about to happen. I couldn't concentrate in class, sleep properly, or enjoy normal things anymore because my mind was constantly waiting for the next crisis. Then things escalated beyond his suicidal behavior and started affecting my own safety. So when I was trying to break up with him and block him , he started blackmailing me, tried to reach my house, and would stalk me from my class toward my home. I started looking behind me while walking and feeling unsafe in places where I had previously felt completely normal. What made it so complicated was that I knew he was suicidal, and I knew he was suffering, so a part of me kept feeling guilty for being afraid of him. I kept thinking, He's hurting, he's not okay, maybe I should understand him, while simultaneously becoming more and more traumatized myself. I don't want to erase the fact that he was genuinely struggling or pretend that his suicidal thoughts weren't real. I believe they were, and that is part of why I stayed for so long. But his suffering doesn't erase what his actions did to me. The relationship left me with severe anxiety, fear, hypervigilance, and a complete loss of trust in my own sense of safety.

Even after it ended, I became scared to date again. Getting close to another guy started feeling frightening because I was constantly thinking, What if he changes? What if I can't leave? What if caring about someone means losing myself again? I cared about him deeply, and I still don't think being suicidal makes someone a bad person. But I have also learned that someone's mental illness can explain their behavior without making me responsible for enduring it. I could empathize with his pain and still acknowledge my own trauma. I was trying to keep him alive while slowly losing myself, and I don't think anyone should have to sacrifice their own mental health and safety to prove that they love someone.

I was once in a relationship where, in the heat of the moment, my ex and I got intimate. We were young, immature, and honestly, it was a mistake. That relationship wasn’t even that serious. we were together for barely two or three months before we broke up.

Months later, I met someone who was completely different. He was genuinely nice, we started hanging out, slowly grew closer, and eventually got into a relationship. Things were going really well. I was honest with him about my past, including the fact that I had been intimate with my ex, and he seemed completely okay with it. He never made me feel judged for it.

A few days ago, he asked me if I wanted to have sex. The truth is, I didn’t want to. I wasn’t comfortable with it, but instead of directly saying no, I avoided the conversation and changed the topic.

Yesterday, he asked me again. This time, I casually said no. Since then, I’ve noticed a change in him. He seems colder and slightly offended, even though he hasn’t openly said anything.

And honestly, it’s making me wonder if he feels entitled to something just because I chose to do it once in my past. If I was intimate with my ex once, does that somehow mean I owe the same thing to my current partner.

He is not a bad person but idk what should I do now, he is giving me cold replies.

I was feeling very anxious since last few months meanwhile I opened up to my boyfriend about SA which happened in the past, ( I didn't do it for sympathy or something, I was just feeling very emotionally heavy AND I MENTIONED THIS TO HIM TO NOT JUDGE ME OR TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY)

it's been more than a month and I've noticed that he is behaving very weirdly with me. He looks traumatized and serious all the time (he is a very jolly guy usually). He sits away from me, says sorry later even if he touches me lil bit and he just avoids anything related to this topic, idk what's exactly wrong with him and why is he so uncomfortable.

Does it really matters to guys if their partner has gone through something like this? I'm just feeling so guilty after seeing all this

Pata hai aaj kya hua I was feeling very anxious since last few months meanwhile I opened up to my boyfriend about SA which happened in the past, ( I didn't do it for sympathy or something, I was just feeling very emotionally heavy AND I MENTIONED THIS TO HIM TO NOT JUDGE ME OR TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY)

it's been more than a month and I've noticed that he is behaving very weirdly with me. He looks traumatized and serious all the time (he is a very jolly guy usually). He sits away from me, says sorry later even if he touches me lil bit and he just avoids anything related to this topic, idk what's exactly wrong with him and why is he so uncomfortable.

Does it really matters to guys if their partner has gone through something like this? I'm just feeling so guilty after seeing all this

So I recently opened up to my dad (single parent) about an incident (SA) which happened when I was around 11 years old, tbh I couldn't understand what was happening at that time but as I grew up it started bothering me, I had a panic attack twice thinking about it, so I finally decided to talk about it to the only person who is left in my life, my dad. He is a very neutral man, not too harsh not too soft but has lil anger issues. So when I opened up about that incident he suddenly got very uncomfortable and started blaming me and sort of sl*t shaming me. I was very disappointed and told him that if my mother had been in his position, she would never have said such thing, he gave me a very cold look, after that I literally broke into tears. I don't hate him for that but I hate myself. I should have never talked about it.

so I'm 17F, I recently opened up to my dad (single parent) about an incident (SA) which happened when I was around 11 years old, tbh I couldn't understand what was happening at that time but as I grew up it started bothering me, I had a panic attack twice thinking about it, so I finally decided to talk about it to the only person who is left in my life, my dad. He is a very neutral man, not too harsh not too soft but has lil anger issues. So when I opened up about that incident he suddenly got very uncomfortable and started blaming me and sort of sl*t shaming me. I was very disappointed and told him that if my mother had been in his position, she would never have said such thing, he gave me a very cold look, after that I literally broke into tears. I don't hate him for that but I hate myself. I should have never talked about it.

so I'm 17F, I recently opened up to my dad (single parent) about an incident which happened when I was around 11 years old, tbh I couldn't understand what was happening at that time but as I grew up it started bothering me, I had a panic attack twice thinking about it, so I finally decided to talk about it to the only person who is left in my life, my dad. He is a very neutral man, not too harsh not too soft but has lil anger issues. So when I opened up about that incident he suddenly got very uncomfortable and started blaming me and sort of sl*t shaming me. I was very disappointed and told him that if my mother had been in his position, she would never have said such thing, he gave me a very cold look, after that I literally broke into tears. I don't hate him for that but I hate myself. I should have never talked about it.

so I'm 17F, I recently opened up to my dad (single parent) about an incident which happened when I was around 11 years old, tbh I couldn't understand what was happening at that time but as I grew up it started bothering me, I had a panic attack twice thinking about it, so I finally decided to talk about it to the only person who is left in my life, my dad. He is a very neutral man, not too harsh not too soft but has lil anger issues. So when I opened up about that incident he suddenly got very uncomfortable and started blaming me and sort of sl*t shaming me . I literally broke into tears listening what he said. I don't hate him for that but I hate myself. I should have never talked about it.

so I'm 17F, I recently opened up to my dad (single parent) about an incident which happened when I was around 11 years old, tbh I couldn't understand what was happening at that time but as I grew up it started bothering me, I had a panic attack twice thinking about it, so I finally decided to talk about it to the only person who is left in my life, my dad. He is a very neutral man, not too harsh not too soft but has lil anger issues. So when I opened up about that incident he suddenly got very uncomfortable and started blaming me and sort of sl*t shaming me . I literally broke into tears listening what he said. I don't hate him for that but I hate myself. I should have never talked about it.

Pata hai aaj kya hua so I'm 17F, I recently opened up to my dad (single parent) about an incident which happened when I was around 11 years old, tbh I couldn't understand what was happening at that time but as I grew up it started bothering me, I had a panic attack twice thinking about it, so I finally decided to talk about it to the only person who is left in my life, my dad. He is a very neutral man, not too harsh not too soft but has lil anger issues. So when I opened up about that incident he suddenly got very uncomfortable and started blaming me and sort of sl*t shaming me . I literally broke into tears listening what he said. I don't hate him for that but I hate myself. I should have never talked about it.

I'm 17F, I recently opened up to my dad (single parent) about an incident which happened when I was around 11 years old, tbh I couldn't understand what was happening at that time but as I grew up it started bothering me, I had a panic attack twice thinking about it, so I finally decided to talk about it to the only person who is left in my life, my dad. He is a very neutral man, not too harsh not too soft but has lil anger issues. So when I opened up about that incident he suddenly got very uncomfortable and started blaming me and sort of sl*t shaming me. I literally broke into tears listening what he said. I don't hate him for that but I hate myself. I should have never talked about it.

I'm 17F, I recently opened up to my dad (single parent) about an incident which happened when I was around 11 years old, tbh I couldn't understand what was happening at that time but as I grew up it started bothering me, I had a panic attack twice thinking about it, so I finally decided to talk about it to the only person who is left in my life, my dad. He is a very neutral man, not too harsh not too soft but has lil anger issues. So when I opened up about that incident he suddenly got very uncomfortable and started blaming me and sort of sl*t shaming me. I literally broke into tears listening what he said. I don't hate him for that but I hate myself. I should have never talked about it.

This first happened when I was 10 and continued in some form or the other till I was 12. At that moment I could not understand what was exactly happening but as I grew up it started bothering me. I face anxiety when I'm around men. I had a boyfriend around a year back but broke up as he was trying to get close physically. Idk I randomly start crying due to anxiety, I've never opened up about this specific thing to anyone. I just want to live a normal life. And coming from very orthodox family therapy isn't an option right now

This first happened when I was 10 and continued in some form or the other till I was 12. At that moment I could not understand what was exactly happening but as I grew up it started bothering me. I face anxiety when I'm around men. I had a boyfriend around a year back but broke up as he was trying to get close physically. Idk I randomly start crying due to anxiety, I've never opened up about this specific thing to anyone. I just want to live a normal life. And coming from very orthodox family therapy isn't an option right now

This first happened when I was 10 and continued in some form or the other till I was 12. At that moment I could not understand what was exactly happening but as I grew up it started bothering me. I face anxiety when I'm around men. I had a boyfriend around a year back but broke up as he was trying to get close physically. Idk I randomly start crying due to anxiety, I've never opened up about this specific thing to anyone. I just want to live a normal life. And coming from very orthodox family therapy isn't an option right now

This first happened when I was 10 and continued in some form or the other till I was 12. At that moment I could not understand what was exactly happening but as I grew up it started bothering me. I face anxiety when I'm around men. I had a boyfriend around a year back but broke up as he was trying to get close physically. Idk I randomly start crying due to anxiety, I've never opened up about this specific thing to anyone. I just want to live a normal life. And coming from very orthodox family therapy isn't an option right now