r/RecluseIndia

Bss yaar abb nahin jhela jaata ....

Now I'm not afraid of taking my life out of this hell..

It's been three years since I've been battling with depression, Anxiety...

Now I see no future....my whole face and throat pain consistently...... I'm out ... maybe in the next life for sure..

Pls lord .... either birth me into a Rich & affluent family or birth me as a stray cat who hunts eats shit sleep and explore....

I know this is not the end..but I have created another universe... which is very Perilous and lethal ...

Can't cope up with this maladaptive daydream....life is very monotonous...

I really don't want to be in Recluse but people around made me do so alas ! I sometimes fear ki if I die even accidentally... nobody is gonna know until someone smells the decomposition ...

Suicide is not a option but I really can't be as a pathhar ki Murty.... Life is really certain with lots of regular uncertainty... let's see what's next....

I've had phases in my life where from the outside it looked like i have it all, like i have all the confidence in the world, all the intelligence and friends. But when you talk to me you'll find out how lonely and fucked up i really am.

Things have been kinda off for me since June because of my boyfriend… well, ex-boyfriend now.

I got way too attached to him. In the beginning, it was all butterflies, cute moments, and me thinking “aww, maybe this is finally it.” 🤡

Except… he was never really emotionally available. Or honestly, available at all. I kept hoping things would get better, convincing myself that if I just gave it time, things would eventually change.

Spoiler: they did. Just not in the way I wanted.

He broke up with me over text, which honestly feels like the emotional equivalent of getting fired through a WhatsApp message.

And now I’m struggling to get over him way more than I thought I would. I’ve been drinking way more than I should just to shut my brain up for a while, and on top of that, I’ve got other things going on in life too.

So yeah, everything feels like 17 browser tabs open, one of them is playing music, I don’t know which one, and my laptop is overheating.

I know I’ll eventually get through it. I just wish my brain would stop romanticizing someone who barely showed up for me.

Anyway, currently accepting emotional support, coping mechanisms, and instructions on how to uninstall a person from my brain.