i wish someone worthy transmigrated into me,someone who can win,who got strength,mmm....
someone not like me
I wish some incredibly worthy/capable person could transmigrate into me and live my life.
I have no goals,i have no idea what am i going to do,i have no interests, no skills,nothing im good at,but i have no choice but to get a basic living condition because i have strict family condition so i have to care them and i have no choice but to do somthing,i currently have no financial freedom in the family. Currently I'm in college in my final year, im seeing lot of people here,they are persevering what they are aiming for ,one trading even though he face so many loss, one trying to get software company like most of the people aggressively, and one is doing machine learning and training models. one doing cyber security, one studing for upse.some of my friends already got internships, some have financial freedom, but they are also trying eventually ,but unlike them i dont do anything,i have 7 months of time to complete college,i have lot of failure experience but in this real world failure experience have no value at all,even a begger will have some experience, the value of of the humans in this world is calculated by the value they are providing. I have no idea what I have to do ,atleast if i have goals,i have walk towards that path and get that anyway. I don't even dont know what to do,my depth of me have no dreams, no interest,no love,no gang,no freedom also, i know i have to do something ,but what to do,sometimes i think like its good when someone with skilled ,stong ,experienced guy transmigrated into my body ,because,im naive,im fool,im sloth,im pathetic,i not have much friends,i dont know how to connect,how to survive,for the 7 months of time i may feel some connections and safer zone because im in college,but i have to work for my placements also,after that i have to face the real world i my college friends also wont pick my number because I didn't make many connections with them,i dont to what to say but i completely messed up,i have no sence of self,the ones place will determine the resources and the things he enjoy,if i messed up means what the difference between me and the beggar? I'm currently in final year college, if i slip my path means my life will continue with that path i cant come back to time and change tha path,that was destined by me myself.i have no idea is it free will thing or what because if destiny or fate exist i have no idea what are they going to do with this kind of person,if they exist are they kidding me,but everything in my life i got was ruined by me,if i had oppertunity to learn i ruined it if i had the opportunity to grow i ruined it, if i had the opportunity to transform i ruined it ,if i had the opportunity to make friends i ruined it,if i had the opportunity to living im ruining it,i thought everyone will change flow of time, i havent changed at all,i dont know what kind of mindset im having,if i have no one and have this kind of(i dont know to what to name this) means it alteast only have effect on me,but i have resposibilies,family.what this is,from my childhood until now why am i always delusional,i imagining way more,one can do anything in his mind,if he want to become president ,ceo,astronaut,millinare,a happy man,a salary man, anything he can become in his mind but reality is completely different,i you want lov a girl,you can marry her,live with her,have child with her but in reality you cant even speak to her,if i have no goal ,no dreams(even little),no interest,no friend,no stories,no charecter,even no sense of self ,whats the point of living ,a single event can become lifetime path,but what if i dont even care about the event ,if you fail in something, you should feel sorrow or motivation but if you feel nothing what drives you,why am i feels nothing,why am i keep sticking in same,even i pushed by different curcumstance,why am i keep coming to this exact (still dont know what to name this),why am i peak sloth,basic things even a begger have dream,even a begger will do something for his living condition, im procasnating even thinking about something,all are secondar why am just a joker in every room,why cant i observe,why cant i speak,why cant i remember,why am i always acting like use and throw condom,why am i defying even a basic human quality,ther was the a saying ,what you thinking was also fated playings,everying in destined,who the hell am i,the world is full of skills and qualities and charecters based on that and worth of people was determined,in that sense what the hell is this charecter,if you want to eat something then you save for that one day ypu cook or go to the place and eat that but you wont be hungry at that time, if you wan to travel you will go one day but you will lost the interest,if you want the job you will study and develop skills and in flow of time you will get it but i wont be satisfied at that time ,thats the play of life but the matter is path,how can you get the path even you have no goal,even you lost intrest,dissaisfied,not hungry if you turn around and see the path,either you smrik or proudly smile or laugh,but for the person like me what could he feel other than regrets,my problems are nothing because i saw people who finacially,emotionally struggle than me but time will change,thier desire will construct thier path,if they work hard they will definetly overcome,what will happen to shit like me,if i doubt this path is chaos means atleast i can desire or hope to somthing that want happen,but im clearly seeing this leads to destruction,im started to think like am i even normal or abnorml. i have no idea what i was saying
I have no goals,i have no idea what am i going to do,i have no interests, no skills,nothing im good at,but i have no choice but to get a basic living condition because i have strict family condition so i have to care them and i have no choice but to do somthing,i currently have no financial freedom in the family. Currently I'm in college in my final year, im seeing lot of people here,they are persevering what they are aiming for ,one trading even though he face so many loss, one trying to get software company like most of the people aggressively, and one is doing machine learning and training models. one doing cyber security, one studing for upse.some of my friends already got internships, some have financial freedom, but they are also trying eventually ,but unlike them i dont do anything,i have 7 months of time to complete college,i have lot of failure experience but in this real world failure experience have no value at all,even a begger will have some experience, the value of of the humans in this world is calculated by the value they are providing. I have no idea what I have to do ,atleast if i have goals,i have walk towards that path and get that anyway. I don't even dont know what to do,my depth of me have no dreams, no interest,no love,no gang,no freedom also, i know i have to do something ,but what to do,sometimes i think like its good when someone with skilled ,stong ,experienced guy transmigrated into my body ,because,im naive,im fool,im sloth,im pathetic,i not have much friends,i dont know how to connect,how to survive,for the 7 months of time i may feel some connections and safer zone because im in college,but i have to work for my placements also,after that i have to face the real world i my college friends also wont pick my number because I didn't make many connections with them,i dont to what to say but i completely messed up,i have no sence of self,the ones place will determine the resources and the things he enjoy,if i messed up means what the difference between me and the beggar? I'm currently in final year college, if i slip my path means my life will continue with that path i cant come back to time and change tha path,that was destined by me myself.i have no idea is it free will thing or what because if destiny or fate exist i have no idea what are they going to do with this kind of person,if they exist are they kidding me,but everything in my life i got was ruined by me,if i had oppertunity to learn i ruined it if i had the opportunity to grow i ruined it, if i had the opportunity to transform i ruined it ,if i had the opportunity to make friends i ruined it,if i had the opportunity to living im ruining it,i thought everyone will change flow of time, i havent changed at all,i dont know what kind of mindset im having,if i have no one and have this kind of(i dont know to what to name this) means it alteast only have effect on me,but i have resposibilies,family.what this is,from my childhood until now why am i always delusional,i imagining way more,one can do anything in his mind,if he want to become president ,ceo,astronaut,millinare,a happy man,a salary man, anything he can become in his mind but reality is completely different,i you want lov a girl,you can marry her,live with her,have child with her but in reality you cant even speak to her,if i have no goal ,no dreams(even little),no interest,no friend,no stories,no charecter,even no sense of self ,whats the point of living ,a single event can become lifetime path,but what if i dont even care about the event ,if you fail in something, you should feel sorrow or motivation but if you feel nothing what drives you,why am i feels nothing,why am i keep sticking in same,even i pushed by different curcumstance,why am i keep coming to this exact (still dont know what to name this),why am i peak sloth,basic things even a begger have dream,even a begger will do something for his living condition, im procasnating even thinking about something,all are secondar why am just a joker in every room,why cant i observe,why cant i speak,why cant i remember,why am i always acting like use and throw condom,why am i defying even a basic human quality,ther was the a saying ,what you thinking was also fated playings,everying in destined,who the hell am i,the world is full of skills and qualities and charecters based on that and worth of people was determined,in that sense what the hell is this charecter,if you want to eat something then you save for that one day ypu cook or go to the place and eat that but you wont be hungry at that time, if you wan to travel you will go one day but you will lost the interest,if you want the job you will study and develop skills and in flow of time you will get it but i wont be satisfied at that time ,thats the play of life but the matter is path,how can you get the path even you have no goal,even you lost intrest,dissaisfied,not hungry if you turn around and see the path,either you smrik or proudly smile or laugh,but for the person like me what could he feel other than regrets,my problems are nothing because i saw people who finacially,emotionally struggle than me but time will change,thier desire will construct thier path,if they work hard they will definetly overcome,what will happen to shit like me,if i doubt this path is chaos means atleast i can desire or hope to somthing that want happen,but im clearly seeing this leads to destruction,im started to think like am i even normal or abnorml. i have no idea what i was saying
I have no goals,i have no idea what am i going to do,i have no interests, no skills,nothing im good at,but i have no choice but to get a basic living condition because i have strict family condition so i have to care them and i have no choice but to do somthing,i currently have no financial freedom in the family. Currently I'm in college in my final year, im seeing lot of people here,they are persevering what they are aiming for ,one trading even though he face so many loss, one trying to get software company like most of the people aggressively, and one is doing machine learning and training models. one doing cyber security, one studing for upse.some of my friends already got internships, some have financial freedom, but they are also trying eventually ,but unlike them i dont do anything,i have 7 months of time to complete college,i have lot of failure experience but in this real world failure experience have no value at all,even a begger will have some experience, the value of of the humans in this world is calculated by the value they are providing. I have no idea what I have to do ,atleast if i have goals,i have walk towards that path and get that anyway. I don't even dont know what to do,my depth of me have no dreams, no interest,no love,no gang,no freedom also, i know i have to do something ,but what to do,sometimes i think like its good when someone with skilled ,stong ,experienced guy transmigrated into my body ,because,im naive,im fool,im sloth,im pathetic,i not have much friends,i dont know how to connect,how to survive,for the 7 months of time i may feel some connections and safer zone because im in college,but i have to work for my placements also,after that i have to face the real world i my college friends also wont pick my number because I didn't make many connections with them,i dont to what to say but i completely messed up,i have no sence of self,the ones place will determine the resources and the things he enjoy,if i messed up means what the difference between me and the beggar? I'm currently in final year college, if i slip my path means my life will continue with that path i cant come back to time and change tha path,that was destined by me myself.i have no idea is it free will thing or what because if destiny or fate exist i have no idea what are they going to do with this kind of person,if they exist are they kidding me,but everything in my life i got was ruined by me,if i had oppertunity to learn i ruined it if i had the opportunity to grow i ruined it, if i had the opportunity to transform i ruined it ,if i had the opportunity to make friends i ruined it,if i had the opportunity to living im ruining it,i thought everyone will change flow of time, i havent changed at all,i dont know what kind of mindset im having,if i have no one and have this kind of(i dont know to what to name this) means it alteast only have effect on me,but i have resposibilies,family.what this is,from my childhood until now why am i always delusional,i imagining way more,one can do anything in his mind,if he want to become president ,ceo,astronaut,millinare,a happy man,a salary man, anything he can become in his mind but reality is completely different,i you want lov a girl,you can marry her,live with her,have child with her but in reality you cant even speak to her,if i have no goal ,no dreams(even little),no interest,no friend,no stories,no charecter,even no sense of self ,whats the point of living ,a single event can become lifetime path,but what if i dont even care about the event ,if you fail in something, you should feel sorrow or motivation but if you feel nothing what drives you,why am i feels nothing,why am i keep sticking in same,even i pushed by different curcumstance,why am i keep coming to this exact (still dont know what to name this),why am i peak sloth,basic things even a begger have dream,even a begger will do something for his living condition, im procasnating even thinking about something,all are secondar why am just a joker in every room,why cant i observe,why cant i speak,why cant i remember,why am i always acting like use and throw condom,why am i defying even a basic human quality,ther was the a saying ,what you thinking was also fated playings,everying in destined,who the hell am i,the world is full of skills and qualities and charecters based on that and worth of people was determined,in that sense what the hell is this charecter,if you want to eat something then you save for that one day ypu cook or go to the place and eat that but you wont be hungry at that time, if you wan to travel you will go one day but you will lost the interest,if you want the job you will study and develop skills and in flow of time you will get it but i wont be satisfied at that time ,thats the play of life but the matter is path,how can you get the path even you have no goal,even you lost intrest,dissaisfied,not hungry if you turn around and see the path,either you smrik or proudly smile or laugh,but for the person like me what could he feel other than regrets,my problems are nothing because i saw people who finacially,emotionally struggle than me but time will change,thier desire will construct thier path,if they work hard they will definetly overcome,what will happen to shit like me,if i doubt this path is chaos means atleast i can desire or hope to somthing that want happen,but im clearly seeing this leads to destruction,im started to think like am i even normal or abnorml. i have no idea what i was saying
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