How do you accept that some things aren’t meant for you?
I don’t know how to process this, but I need advice from people who have been in a similar situation and managed to come out of it.
Over the years, I’ve met people and tried dating. The primary reason I wanted to date someone was to fulfill my desire for companionship, to have someone to share my life with. To a large extent, I also believe this came from growing up in a dysfunctional family. I never really felt loved, and the constant clashes between my parents put me into survival mode. The only time I felt truly relaxed was when someone I liked was around.
However, I’ve come to realize that maybe this just isn’t meant for me and I understand that not everything is meant for us. I can accept that intellectually, but my yearning to find someone is eating me alive.
Some people might say that I shouldn’t give up and should keep trying, but at this point, the trade-off doesn’t seem worth it for me. I’m tired of constantly having to heal myself whenever things don’t work out, and I don’t want to become needy or dependent on someone for my sense of peace. The trade-off feels too painful, and I want to stop wanting this altogether.
I’m trying to tame these desires, but I can’t seem to. I’ve joined activities, kept myself busy, and tried to build a life around other things. But eventually, there comes a point when a sudden wave of loneliness hits, and it just eats me away. I don’t want to keep feeling this way. I want to stop whatever is coming because I don’t know how much longer I can keep going through the same cycle.
For people on Reddit who have gone through something similar, how did you control or let go of the desire to be loved? How did you learn to live your life without companionship and still feel fulfilled? What helped you when those sudden waves of loneliness hit?