I keep feeling like I have nothing going on in my life, even though I’m actually doing things.
I've been thinking about this for a while.
Most days, I walk and make sure I hit my steps. I stream. I work on YouTube content. I've recently started writing again and restarted my Substack.
Objectively, I'm doing stuff.
But there's this weird feeling that none of it is really going anywhere.
A few months ago, I was constantly stressed about money, work and what I was supposed to do next. Weirdly, I don't feel that same panic anymore.
I can't figure out whether that's a good thing.
Maybe I've accepted that I can't control everything.
Maybe I've stopped fighting reality.
Or maybe I'm just getting comfortable with being uncertain.
I've also started questioning whether I've been looking at everything through the lens of productivity.
Walking has an obvious benefit. It keeps me healthy.
But does writing need to become a business?
Does streaming need to become a career?
Does every hobby or interest need to eventually turn into money, a skill, a portfolio piece or some kind of "asset"?
I'm starting to think the answer might be no.
The uncomfortable part is that I don't know if I'll still be doing any of these things six months from now.
Maybe I'll stop streaming. Maybe I'll stop writing. Maybe YouTube will go nowhere.
And for once, I'm trying not to turn that uncertainty into an emergency.
I'm curious if anyone else has gone through a similar phase where you're doing things, but you have absolutely no idea what they're adding up to.
I ended up writing about this more honestly on my Substack
