Heart(break)
I just went through a breakup and I genuinely feel shattered.
It hurts that I still have to see her every single day. Same classes, same mess, same projects, same campus. Everywhere I go, there’s some reminder of her.
Things started getting bad when she became emotionally distant. I became insecure, anxious, and honestly probably exhausting to deal with. I kept trying to fix things while she kept shutting down more and more. At one point she told me she felt trapped by college, people, expectations, everything. I tried to comfort her, but eventually it felt like I was the only one fighting for the relationship.
It now feels like she didn’t have the courage to end things herself and instead slowly became colder and more distant until I was the one forced to finally break up.
That completely broke me because I was still genuinely trying while she was already halfway gone emotionally.
The part that destroyed me was realizing she always had feelings for my friend. I confirmed it through her friend. After we broke up, I heard she said she finally felt “free.” That sentence has been replaying in my head nonstop.
Now I’m sitting here feeling like I was a burden to someone I loved deeply.
What makes this harder is that externally she seems completely okay. Laughing with friends, watching dramas, acting normal, while I can barely function. I blocked her everywhere because every small thing was hurting me.
I know relationships end. I know people fall out of love. But I don’t know how to deal with feeling so replaceable so suddenly🥲
I don’t even know what I’m expecting from posting this. I think I just needed to say it somewhere because my chest feels heavy all the time now.