u/757-757

FTM here and curious how everyone handled hospital visitors after giving birth?

I’m pregnant with my first baby and starting to think about postpartum boundaries / visitors.

I’m not originally from NYC, so my family would have to fly in to visit after I deliver. My husband’s family lives here in the city so obviously it’s a different dynamic and easier for them to come by quickly.

Part of me feels like I really just want the first moments to be me, my husband, and our baby. No pressure, no hosting, no people waiting around while I’m exhausted, emotional, learning how to breastfeed, recovering, etc. I can’t explain it but I almost feel protective over that time already.

At the same time, I know some people LOVE having visitors right away and having family there at the hospital. I’m also worried about hurt feelings or pressure, especially because my MIL is very loving and excited, but she also tends to push boundaries a bit and I can already imagine her wanting to be there immediately.

How did you guys handle this? Did you allow hospital visitors or did you wait until you got home? Did you regret the decision you made

Would really love to hear honest experiences from moms who’ve already gone through it because I dont know what to expect

I need advice on how to handle this situation with my MIL once baby arrives…

She’s a very loving and affectionate person, but she gets cold sores pretty regularly. I’m pregnant with my first and already thinking ahead about newborn boundaries, and honestly the idea of someone with active or frequent cold sores kissing my baby makes me really anxious.

The thing is, she’s also someone who tends to test boundaries a little.

I really don’t want this to become a whole thing or make her feel judged, because I know she loves this baby already. But at the same time I feel like protecting a newborn has to come before anyone’s feelings.

For those who’ve been through this
How did you bring it up?
Did you make a blanket “nobody kisses the baby” rule?
Did people actually listen?
And what do you even do if someone ignores it?

I feel like this is one of those parenting moments where you suddenly have to grow a backbone fast 😭