u/7vik_ydv

I’m a 23-year-old guy, just wrapped up my end semester exams and currently managing 2 virtual internships. She is a 21F. We both lived on campus—I was in the boys hostel and she was in the girls hostel. (Our institutes were completely different I'm pursuing masters in tech and she's pursuing bachelors in micro bio)

We met in late February and started talking in March. We used to play volleyball (a couple of times after classes), badminton, or some mobile games after dinner. Few times during night walk i caught her and her friends chasing me from behind. But later we also went on a couple of night walks around campus, and things were going really well. She told me she felt incredibly safe and comfortable around me.

Out of nowhere, she suddenly stopped talking to me, using her exams as an excuse. We couldn't connect at all. I later found out through a mutual friend that right when she suddenly stopped talking to me, her ex had started talking to her again. (She lost her father few years back and they were in relationship at that time. They broke up 7 or 8 months ago and the guy left him without giving any reason)

Eventually, I had to vacate my hostel and move back home because of a family emergency. The very next day after I left, she texted me. She confessed that she is terrified of getting hurt again because her past has been absolutely pathetic and her life conditions are really bad right now. We basically had a "closure" conversation. She also told our mutual friend that she is completely confused and "hates the word relationship right now." after her ex tried to talk to her again.

I gave her space and focused on my exams. But then, on a random night, she texted me at 3 AM asking "Everything is ok in family now?" I replied by simple message, "Yeah, its better now." She just reacted with a heart emoji and vanished.

Fast forward to last night (at 3 AM again), she suddenly followed me on Instagram (she deactivated her account before we started talking and she used to activate it for 15-20 mins then deactivate it again). I saw the notification early morning and sent a follow request back but did not message her. She accepted it this morning.

After I checked her profile, I saw that between 3 AM and 4 AM last night, she had reposted a bunch of heavy, emotional stuff clearly aimed at the situation:

• A post saying: "Finally meeting the greenest flag of a person but after years of trauma and abandonment issues, realizing you are now the red flag."
• A post saying: "Looking at other people's healthy relationships makes me wonder why I don't deserve that too."
• A Hindi poem that translates to: "You stay safe on your side of the river, I will come meet you someday if I am ever able to cross the river (my trauma)."
• Another post saying: "I wasn't weak, it's just my favorite man was in front of me." (Not sure if this is about me or the ex who returned).
• A video simply saying: "Thanks. I gave up."

My Dilemma: I know she likes me, and I know she is genuinely going through a dark time. She's also a very hesitant/shy person in general (when we first met, she needed a mutual friend to set up a group chat just so we could exchange numbers).

Part of me feels like I should reach out and be the bigger man because she's too scared to text me directly. But another part of me feels like I'm dealing with a fearful-avoidant who is caught up with her ex, and I need to protect my own peace and let her sit in the bed she made. I haven't reached out yet.

Reddit, am I being too harsh on a grieving girl by staying completely silent, or am I dodging a massive bullet by ignoring these Instagram breadcrumbs?

TL;DR: Started seeing a girl at my university who felt super safe with me. Her ex came back into the picture right when she pushed me away and made excuses. After I had to move home for a family emergency, she confessed her past trauma to me. I went no-contact to focus on my exams. Now she's following me at 3 AM and reposting things about how I'm a "green flag" but she's too broken/toxic to cross the river to get to me. Do I break my silence to comfort her, or stay away and protect my peace?