Is 4E prone to or immune to being emotionally manipulated?

It's low emotion, but it's also others-positive whilst self-negative so I'm having a hard time grasping what people mean when they say “They come off as dry, unemotional” but also somehow, at the same time, “They're prone to being a sponge for others’ emotions”.

If the answer is both for the latter paragraph, then can someone please give me a real life example on how that actually works out? I get it, but I also very much don't...

Does anyone know how old an account has to be to be allowed to engage in r/enneagram?

I know for sure my karma is over whatever might be the requirement because I've seen people there with less karma than I have. But what's the account age requirement??

I cannot even comment, it's infuriating especially when I opened a new account for enneagram reasons and it's already a month old.

I did not suffer from such a situation in the past when a former account of mine was 8 days old and with like 20 karmas??

For basic context: I've found myself relating a lot to SP3’s approach to vanity, however, I really have a lot of issues with fitting myself into e3.

(Tl;dr : the actual question is at the end)

One of the biggest reasons is... well, because of e3’s focus on materialistic world and social reality. I've never been the type to dream of a career with money and actual prestige as long as it represents my values and my personal thoughts on what prestige is.

For instance, (I have an e3 friend, which is why I'm comparing it like this,) I would not be able to tolerate being a doctor or an engineer of sorts for its social prestige and power, especially having been born into a culture that worships it. I’d rather my own idea of prestige and... aristocratic-appearance be present in my life – My own idea of what a distinguished person is, most of it actually fitting my social environment's idea of prestige, but less ideal. I don't care about financial security at all and it isn't something I actively work or think about to better it. I either hoard well or spend however I like instinctively and I don't think I'll end up failing at that. I don't have any problems skipping meals if I wanted to spend my money on something ’trivial’, for example or, the complete opposite, wasting a lot of money on food and compensating to it by ignoring buying what I want (it also will come natural and I won't want it, if that makes sense).

And to say, this was me even at my worst and it's hard to put it into the same box of what an unhealthy e3 is.

I've never been as satisfied by external validation unless I have internal validation in my pocket -though I will still be somewhat in need of external validation regardless-.

And that's where I'm really struggling to settle down. I've only been an overachiever to the point I think is worth. And I also am HORRIBLE at networking. But my anxities had always started with would I be looked down upon if I did not do my best in this competition, would this get me a look of having been impressed, would they finally notice I'm doing better than average.

I've also had quite a lot of issues with being..selfish. And gotten quite a lot of feedbacks from different people on being competitive when there's no need to be. But that's not my personal experience, I'm actually t**errified of competitions. I do often trust I'll end up more naturally better once I put in the work, but I also stress a lot over whether I'll truly do end up among one of the bests. And I do not enjoy competition at all.

My competitive ‘nature’ others perceive stems from being protective of my own work (whether it's being asked to give my homework so they can trace it, or whether if it's writing their name up on top on a project I've done most work of) and being genuinely, truly afraid of being...exposed as a fraud for putting in less than I should've, if I end up looking incompetent. About being exposed to be less disciplined than I give the look of, for example.

Hope this makes sense,

as to clear it up:

Does the overall patterns written in this text contradict self preservation instinct or e3?

TL;DR

Are e3s, especially sp3s always exclusively focused on materialistic world and finance?

(This post is not aimed at those who are trying to be genuinely helpful and it was my intention to post this on r/enneagram itself, but this current account of mine does not reach the age-requirement. I'm trusting that most r/enneagram users also follow here.)

I've noticed, over the months I've spent scrolling here and there, that in even the most basic conversations, there's an urge to point out and ‘expose someone’ as e6.

I've seen certain commenters only appear out of thin air to point fingers at people the second they catch an irregular behaviour of a self-typed person. I get that it is essential for a community to point out mistypes for better representation, but, respectfully, it itself is e6-like for these commenters to point out other people as e6. Whether it's basically under their post that is not directly type related or just a basic comment under a conversation.

How is it e6 to just do a basic policing for self-improvement cases?

Well, basic policing is obviously not e6. But the second it gets personal, dictatorial and argumentative? It's certainly an indication for a need to genuinely consider one's own reasons for irritation. We might have to be aware of the distinction here.

And how is it “six-like”? Well...It is quite really about fixation on external certainty and authority. Though I'll explain my own idea of it later,

My take is that, most often, that same burning necessity for fixing a ‘self- mistyped eX that is actually an e6’ is exactly what e6's projection is.

(“And how'd you know?” Well, I've done the same thing! haha)

And there's this back and forth argument where the original poster —or, really, whoever is the one that's being assumed of mistype— refuses someone else's perception of them, however kindly or however aggressively, and the type-policing person ends up claiming that's “the most indicative sign of someone being e6”.

Now, back to my take, what's e6 about wanting right representation?

I think, first of all, these types of conversations here are barely productive, and barely encouraging right representation of types. It's more often about being right and intellectually superior, and appearing aware/truth-seeking than being eye-opening for the other person. It's just pushing the person into clinging to their supposedly mistype even more. And if they're truly an e6, then good luck, you've lost the person. They'll get defensive and push back. Naturally. You can't just expect to hurt someone in their most vulnerable and expect them to man up and take it publicly especially after wording it in a way that's shaming.

These commenters (if they're not a mistyped eX that's actually an e6 themselves, and I'll provide an example for that later) who act like they can easily pick up an e6 in the wild are immune to approaching these supposedly-e6s the way an e6 should likely be approached. E6s are known to be defensive when pushed, security-seeking and aware of perceived aggression and enemies, right, so what's the point in pushing the label e6 down their throat forcefully?

You're either seeking intellectual superiority over someone you perceive as weaker and less self-aware —which, again, is your perception of it– OR you yourself are discarding the slightest possibility of e6 for yourself, and making other people who you are projecting your own inclinations onto, because of some form of internal dynamic.

What do I Personally Think Is The Dynamic?

Well, I'd assume the dynamic is having fit the explanations –often negative, by the way, sometimes with sugarcoated intellectual superiority to appear kinder than what their initial intentions are– of other people who are ’calling out e6s’, and that might be triggering some kind of internal them VS us conflict. Where you feel, naturally, more part of the...hexad. Because of whatever hexad/attachment type elitism is going on in the community where there's a lot of kindly-put bashing for attachment types.

There's a burning desire to distance oneself from the “common”, “adaptive” attachment types to feel more “unique”, “concrete/constant” or 'special'. (which is, whether we admit that there's this perception or not, hexad)

Which causes one to feel a pulsing need for bashing supposed-e6s to make oneself feel more part of the hexad. A continuous internalized-attachment-shame especially if one spends a lot of time on such sites for research and entertainment and is exposed to a lot of devoid-of-a- strict-ego picture people often paint about attachment types.

Point of This Whole Rant?

It's likely better to look at oneself than others. If you feel actual irritation at “e6s mistyping as other types” and feel a need to call it out so often, then I have news for you. You have issues yourself. So start with that instead of hurting someone emotionally over something as simple as mistype on an online community. (unless the person you're conversing with is aggressive at the start themselves)

And if you genuinely want to “help out an attachment type to figure out they're actually attachment”? You might want to start approaching them kinder about it and less like a “Hah! You were hiding, I got you.”

Thank you for the reading!