AITAH? Sewing Machine Ownership
AITA? Years ago my sister “Alice” (25F) “claimed” my late paternal grandmother’s $2000 embroidery machine as she saw a group text before I did.
However she claimed she didn’t have space for it at the time so my mom was keeping it for her in her garage. Later when my mom had to move she tried to give it to her, but she refused to take it. After a few weeks of that, my mom ended up giving it to me. This was summer of 2024. Haven’t heard a thing about it since. All of a sudden, my sister suddenly really wants this sewing machine and is badgering/bullying my mom to get it from me for her. Mom texts me asking when she can pick up Alice’s sewing machine. I tell her that I was under the impression Alice had no longer wanted it, as she’d refused to take it back when it was originally offered which is why it was given to me.
My mom offers to buy me a used similar machine for a wedding gift…but I’m quite attached to this machine and honestly not willing to just give it up. I told my mom that Alice is welcome to talk to me about the machine respectfully and we can see about working something out, but I was across the country on a work trip so didn’t push further.
This morning I am woken up by a text from my mom asking if she can come get the machine now today so that she can get my sister “off her back.” I just got back home late last night after a 14+ travel day, I’m jet lagged and worn out and tell her we can talk about this later, but I’m not planning on just handing the machine over with no discussion etc. she says she is tired of navigating this whole situation and is willing to just buy me a good used sewing machine. I repeated that this was not a good time to talk about this and we can figure it out later.
Now I’m not willing to just hand over this machine…it has a lot of sentimental value for me, as needle crafts was something my grandma and I had both shared a passion for, and I actively use this machine.
Alice and I are currently minimal contact due to how she treats me, my mom, and those around her. However I have reiterated that I am willing to discuss this with her if she is willing/able to talk respectfully and constructively. But she seems to prefer to just continue to pretty much bully my mom into talking to me about it rather than attempting to contact me to have a conversation. AITAH for not just handing the machine over so that my mom isn’t having to deal with her drama? I’ve never done one of these so trying to give information objectively and I realize there’s a lot of background details missing so feel free to ask questions that may be relevant…I have worked long and hard in therapy over the years on setting boundaries with my family but it has always been hard for me, I’m getting met with so much resistance I want to make sure I’m not being totally unreasonable in putting out boundaries regarding this situation? At the very least I have asked (both mom and directly in text to sister) for my sister to talk to me directly instead of making my mom be the go between.
Edit to add: I wasn’t privy to the conversation between my mom and sister initially. From what I was told, my mom asked if she still wanted to have it. She said no as she didn’t have room. My mom asked her a few more times over several weeks, and then gave it to me.