Community Safety Alert: Protecting Boundaries and Recognizing "Supply" Seeking
It has come to my attention after speaking with several members that there are individuals in our community who use women as emotional supply, or for quick sexual boosts and dopamine hits.
I am writing this to help the ladies in our community understand what warning signs to look out for.
I will not be naming specific names to protect the privacy of those who have spoken up.
To be completely honest, it is quite shocking.
This post is not meant to cause anxiety, but rather to serve as a general reminder to be cautious after all, this is still the internet.
If you happen to figure out who is engaging in these behaviors, please do not comment with their names. Simply maintain your awareness and observe on your own.
Not everything posted on social media is glitter and sunshine; everyone curates exactly how they want to be perceived online. Just because someone is highly praised or supported by many in this community does not mean their behavior behind closed doors is visible to everyone.
To the men reading this: please step back from this post. Do not get involved or leave harsh comments. Simply use this as an awareness check regarding the types of people you choose to associate with.
Please do not share this post outside of this space, as we want to protect the women involved from any further distress.
This is a general reminder that coming together over chronic illness does not automatically make everyone an angel. Many individuals here have never done the internal work to heal their deep traumas and unhealthy behaviours.
So we are not saints.
With that said, here are only some the signs to watch out for so you can keep your boundaries up and avoid becoming someone else’s "supply":
1. Weaponized Vulnerability
Watch out for someone who uses their illness, personal losses, or low self-esteem as a strategic hook to get you to lower your guard. It is completely natural to feel deep compassion for someone’s story online, especially when everyone else is cheering them on in the comments. However, if an individual uses their pain to make you feel responsible for their emotional state early on, be very careful. If you feel a non-stop pressure to constantly validate them, praise them, and tell them how proud you are, you are likely being used for supply. It is not your job to coddle an adult man. You are not his mother.
2. The "Night-Time" Communication Pattern
Be wary of someone who actively ignores you or deliberately withholds communication during the day, even while they are visibly online posting stories, only to become high-intensity, deeply personal, and "flirty" at night. This is a “calculated push-and-pull tactic” designed to “control the dynamic”, create an “addictive trauma bond”, and keep the connection entirely restricted to a playground for their own entertainment.
3. One-Sided "Friendships"
If you have been "friends" with someone for a few weeks, months or years, yet they only talk about themselves, send random reels after they stopped communicating, and never actually try to get to know you, take note. 🚩Do not make excuses for them just because they are chronically ill. They know exactly what they are doing. (Avoidance attachment) They are using your genuine care as a validation to reassure themselves that they are a "good person," despite their toxic behavior behind the scenes.
When you validate someone non stop and no one holds them accountable they will believe a false narrative of themself.
4. Rapid Sexual Escalation and Boundary Testing
Watch out for a "friend" who abruptly shifts random normal topic conversations toward sexual topics or sends suggestive photos (such as bathtub pictures, casual lower-body shots, muscle photos, or strategic pictures showing their clothes off and a TV in the background) under the guise of simply being "vulnerable" or "comfortable" with you.
Or ask you to like all your fav photo of them online.
Being send a bathtub photo is not to be confused as just sharing a health "milestone," that they can take a bath now, it is to test your boundaries if you can be used sexually.
You can test their true intentions by observing this:
• If you reply to a suggestive photo “without” giving them sexual validation, do they ignore you for hours or days while remaining active on social media/instagram stories?
• If you lean into the flirtation, do they suddenly respond instantly?
A true friend does not treat your attention like a light switch that only turns on when anything sexual is involved. Especially wouldn’t send you a bath tub pic or lower body part pic 🚩
5. Premature Possessiveness & Future Faking
If someone starts using high-intensity labels, telling you phrases like "You are mine" or "I’m your man and no one else's," or spinning elaborate future plans of everything you will do together after they are better, before you have even established a real, stable relationship with aligned values, be highly on guard. This emotional intensity, especially when delivered late at night, is used to build a false sense of security while they keep their options wide open. Pay attention to their day-to-day actions, not their digital written words.
6. Curated their Social Media Inconsistency
Pay close attention to what people are actually doing online versus what they tell you privately. Take a look at the accounts they follow, the content they regularly like, or the hidden metrics available in your feeds can be seen in the reel section public what they like too.
If someone bombards you with private compliments claiming you are the theirs and call you so soon babe, baby etc but their public social accounts shows you actively following and liking over 7k of females accounts that don’t follow them back, or liking sexual body pictures of females every single day, you are being deceived.
They are using you for emotional support/ distraction while using you and others to feed their lust and dopamine hit/ distraction.
7. The Trap of a Lustful Character
A person driven entirely by lust can never be a loyal partner or a genuine friend; it is only a matter of time before they betray your trust. A lustful individual will go to absolutely anyone who is willing to feed their ego at any given moment. You will never be emotionally or physically safe around a character like this, they will systematically erode your self-love, destroy your confidence, and severely impact your overall health.
(This lustful behaviour is also a derm thing)
8. The "Changed Man" Illusion
If someone explicitly admits to you that they have been a "player" or a womanizer their entire life, but claims they have suddenly changed and wouldn’t do this anymore, all while displaying the exact patterns listed here without ever doing the internal work to heal before speaking to you, they are lying. You are not the exception; you are simply the newest source of supply.
9. Retroactive Objectification
If a person confesses that they have been looking at your body sexually from the very beginning of your connection, even though you thought you were building a pure, supportive friendship and admits to using your public picture or Profil picture for their own sexual gratification( masturbation), they do not respect you as a human being. Rest assured, their phones are flooded with the pictures of countless other women just like their follower list.
10. Platform Hopping
Be highly suspicious if someone insists on moving your conversation away from instagram platform to alternative apps, especially if they suggest Snapchat. That is almost always where their explicit, disappearing sexual content lives. Protect your privacy and be very careful about handing out your personal phone number to quickly too.
11. Intentional Withholding & Power Plays
If an individual openly admits to intentionally delaying their text responses so they don't look "obsessed," or to keep you "wondering" and "chasing," this is an active psychological power play. It’s also a form of silence treatment that they use to decide when you will speak and when not. Highly manipulative.
A woman's intuition is rarely wrong. When the texting feels weird, your body is picking up on a calculated game meant to manufacture an emotional addiction, not a healthy friendship.
12. The "Confusion" Gaslight
The moment you finally stand up for yourself and hold them accountable for a total lack of respect, their behavior will shift. They will suddenly act entirely "confused," play dumb, talk about themself or try to turn the tables by asking patronizing questions.
After actively love bombing you. This is an intentional attempt to make you question yourself or go "crazy" for expecting basic human decency.
13. Vulnerable Manipulation & The Great Escape
When caught, an individual with a possible highly narcissistic tendencies or other personality disorders turned destructive, will immediately pivot entirely to their own suffering. They will talk endlessly about their health, their deep sadness, or their childhood insecurities, and who hurt them, essentially hijacking the conversation to make you feel guilty for being hurt by them.
Basically shift blame on you without them acknowledging how they made you feel!
A healthy person apologizes clearly, takes complete accountability, and offers a thoughtful, self-reflected path toward repair. A manipulator uses their physical illness as an all-access pass to mistreat people.
If they block you, run away without apology, change their social media usernames, and immediately go back to playing the hero or warrior online, they have shown you exactly who they are. 🚩
Moving Forward:
Please trust your "ick" feelings and your intuition.
If someone’s digital presence consistently leaves you feeling deeply anxious, utterly confused, or physically ill, your nervous system is screaming at you that you are being used.
It is entirely okay to completely remove your presence and your energy from anyone who treats you this way. Walking away from such people does not make you a bad person, regardless of how severe their health issues may be. None of these people will be standing by your bedside when the chronic stress of their games gives your own health a massive blow. They will not pay for your supplements, they will not ensure you are eating, and they will not help you reduce the profound physical inflammation their betrayal leaves behind.
Utilize the tools AW has given us in his spiritual book about derms and observe always first before you replay to anyone. Watch for patterns and don’t be fooled by how people make themself look online and who supports them.
We are here to heal, not to be anyone's
"ego boost", "emotional support" or
"free entertainment."
Stay safe and keep your boundaries high.
Also Please do not forward or send this post to any men; this is strictly posted for the safety and awareness of the women here and in general being on the internet.