u/88_Echo

I carry a heavy amount of emotion throughout the day, and it can be truly exhausting. I find myself holding onto a constant image of how my life should be and how connections should function. My perspective is that connections are personal, so the treatment of my feelings should be personal as well. I believe in a reciprocal philosophy: I treat others based on how they treat me. If someone is kind, I am kind in return, and the opposite is also true.

I am coming to realize that every day brings a new lesson about myself and the people around me. One of the most difficult realizations to accept is that no matter how hard I strive to be a good person, I will inevitably be the villain in someone else's story.

I am still learning how to balance these truths. It is a daily process of figuring out which emotions are mine to carry and which ones I need to let go.

I recently ran into a high school acquaintance, and talk about an instant flashback. Before I could even gather a coherent thought, a loud "HEY!" came shooting out of my mouth.

Immediately, reality snapped back. The look on their face was pure disgust. If I could read minds, the energy they were giving off said: *I don't know you, I don't like you, and this is awkward.

It made me look back at who we were in high school. I was very outspoken, and they were always very over-the-top. Fast forward 20 years later, and it’s clear we’ve both perfected our crafts—but that still didn't fully explain why the vibe was so intensely negative. Then, the pieces started clicking. I recalled an encounter we had about 7 years ago where I may have laughed at their over-the-top shenanigans. Clearly, that didn't sit well with them, and they carried that energy all the way to today.

At this point, part of me wonders: should I even care?

But here is the catch—there’s a chance we might have to interact or see each other again in a specific setting. If that happens, should I just request to deal with someone else entirely, or actually address the tension? Have you ever had past awkwardness ruin a present-day encounter?

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I’ve been thinking a lot about how we all cope when the world gets heavy.

For me, stress usually triggers a trip to another world. I don't just disappear into a random fantasy; I daydream about an alternate universe where I am the same person, surrounded by the same people, but everyone plays a different role. It’s like rearranging the pieces of my life to see how they fit in a different light.

The most interesting part is the "return." After I spend a little time in that other version of things, I’m always reminded of how great it is to be in the realm and reality I actually have. It’s my way of finding my way back to myself.

I'm curious—how do you all handle stress?

Do you have a specific mental place you go, or a different way of finding your footing again?