Does my best friend hate me?
So, I've had this feeling for quite some time that my closest friend from school when we were 16 (now 32) hates me or doesn't like me very much. In school we hit it off on a 1:1 level and were in the same friend group. For background I guess I don't consider this person my BFF (I had one from the age of 5-15) and it was a bit toxic in the end. I didn't want an intense best friend like that again. So I'd say we were really close friends.
We went to different colleges (still in Dublin!)and I genuinely felt at the time if I didn't reach out the friendship would have ended. But I started getting the feeling I wasn't a close friend to her anymore for the last few years. One big thing is she's really closed off about herself. She ended up telling me she was pregnant over text which I was really hurt by.
We live maybe 10-15 km from each other but only see each other every 8-10 weeks (if that!). A lot of excuses come up (maybe genuine because she has a baby). My partner and I don't like drinking that much and her partner is a big drinker so I feel like that's not the way we want to socialise with them.
We just meet for coffee/ lunch/house visit but tbh seems to take an age to organise and when it happens I feel like we're strangers. I feel sometimes she doesn't even like me! She's always been very quiet but it can come across as cold and it's hard to read.
Without fail for the last couple of years, every time we meet she will tell me about this other friends group which I'm not part of. It's like she's telling me she's closer with them and they seem to do stuff all the time together whereas we meet up hardly ever and it seems to take a lot of effort.
It hurts and I really like one of the girls she mentions - we were bridesmaids together at her wedding and I've hinted like oh how is she I'd love to see her again soon. Never an invite.
It hurts recently to hear from someone else that she goes to yoga with this friend weekly. Why can't we do something like that? Because she's so aloof with me, I've leaned back a lot and don't always want to be the one to suggest things.
Ok the final kicker is going to sound childish - but we are living in 2026! She is constantly on Instagram (way more than me!) and NEVER likes my stuff. Never comments - nothing. Does this sound like she hates me?! Genuinely?
We're in this weird dance I feel like where we have the name of being close friends but neither are really feeling it and don't know where to go from here. Btw I don't think she can handle a conversation like this. What are my other options?! Help.
PPS I'm also a parent now and I still feel the same weird vibe.