r/ToxicFriends

I’m trying to get some outside perspective because I’ve been bothered by a few things a friend has done and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting.

For context, she’s always been kind of eccentric/class-clown energy. She jokes around a lot and pulls random pranks on the group chat, so being playful and messing with people isn’t unusual for her.

A few months ago, two people in our friend group “started dating,” but it was actually a prank that everyone except me was in on. It went on for about two months and there were fake screenshots and other details that made me genuinely believe it. She had previously pulled a more harmless prank on me, and afterward I told her I don’t like jokes where it feels like everyone is laughing at me or at my expense.

She said she genuinely thought I would find this one funny. Eventually she revealed it was a prank in front of everyone, including my girlfriend, who also thought it was real, and I felt embarrassed. When I told her afterward that it bothered me, she apologized but also said I wasn’t there when they came up with it.

The other thing is how she’s been acting around my girlfriend. We’re all women who are into women, but I’ve never really seen her act this way toward anyone else before.

Once, while I was hanging out with my girlfriend and another friend at coffee, she asked my girlfriend, who was sitting across the table, “Who’s funnier, me or [my name]?”

At a picnic, she jokingly yelled at my girlfriend to “leave this bitch” referring to me. Another friend actually stepped in and said something like, “Let’s be respectful.” She later said I wasn't be confrontational because I think she wanted me to banter back.

Then at a bar, my girlfriend called her over because it was loud and asked her to help with her shirt. While helping her, my friend got extremely close to my girlfriend’s face, and my girlfriend actually moved her head backward because of how close she was.

I’ve talked to my friend about these things, and she has apologized. She also told me she feels like our friendship changed after I got a girlfriend, which I understand to some extent. I’ve still tried to show up to group hangouts, sometimes even bringing my girlfriend, but lately the energy just feels really off to me.

I’m not saying she’s attracted to my girlfriend or intentionally trying to disrespect me. I genuinely don’t know. It’s just that the prank was already something I struggled with, and then these interactions with my girlfriend are things I hadn’t seen from her before.

Would you be bothered by this too, or does this sound like normal friend banter that I’m taking too

Ho avuto un fastidioso litigio con una persona che ritenevo un amico , ma che poi si è rivelato uno stronzo , qualcuno ha dei consigli su come andare avanti e dimenticarlo? Mi aiutereste molto ( questa storia ha aumentato molto le mie insicurezze e ho paura che questa persona parlerà male di me in giro, come ha fatto con me degli altri )

You aren't the deepest connection I have had...I know you think we are "so deep" but we aren't.

In the handful of meaningful relationships I've been in you are second to last in feeling connected and safe.

I know you think you get me, you understand me, but you don't. I do, on the other hand, get you. I see through all the bs for what you are really all about-- and I don't want it.

I don't want you.

I don't want you as a partner.

I don't want you as a friend.

I don't want to be around you in any capacity anymore.

I need someone who does what's right, not what they can get away with...

Someone I can respect

Someone who has character.

Someone who knows right from wrong and stands up for themselves and others when TSHTF.

Not a coward who runs, hides, steals, & lies

I got the ick from seeing what you are all about...and I am closing the door and locking it.

For good.

Karma is real, ooooohweeeee

I know you haven’t been honest with me. I know you’re ashamed to admit to all your lies. Each lie makes me lose a bit more respect. I’m the person who has accepted every single part of you. I know the darkest parts you try your best to hide. I’ve told you, I am you, rather was…I try so hard every day to be better, to work on myself.

I’m the one you’ve been able to open up to most. The trust we built for you to get to that point should tell you everything you need to know about who I am. I stuck around breaking down your walls brick by brick through the last few years. I wouldn’t hate you or judge you, but each lie, each time you don’t give me the whole story I feel my heart pulling further away.

Call it intuition but I know you’re seeing other people, fucking other people. I’m not stupid, I’m not naive, but I’m not going to start a fight. After all, you can’t even admit to the depth of your feelings much less take the next steps. I want to talk about these things, I just want to approach it the right way.

Maybe you tell yourself you don’t want to hurt me…the truth is you don’t want to take accountability. You don’t want to be locked down and you do want to explore other options despite the words that come out of your mouth. I guess maybe you just feel a different level of emotional depth in our connection. That scares the fuck out of you…
Maybe that’s why you lie? Because you think youd lose the person that’s made you feel things you’ve never felt before.

You think I don’t know? when you said your ex was the closest you came to love but you weren’t sure, you think I don’t know why you started to question it?

The fact that I can read your mind even though you’re a person of few words…that terrifies you, doesn’t it?

I know it does, but I’m equally as terrified if not more. Im the one who was left broken and shattered last time. Trust doesn’t come twice for people in my life and yet here I am trying to trust you. I’m struggling…maybe it’s just because I am you..rather like I said was. I’m trying so hard to be better to be more open like I promised but you’re not making it easy.

Same time I have similar worries as you: Am I good enough for you? Can I show up perfect enough not to disappoint you? Am I going to lose my independence? Why do I feel like I’m suffocating after some of our closest moments?

Did I read your mind? We are the same, only difference is that I’ve worked on myself a lot over the years. I wish you could look into attachment theory. I think a lot of things would start to make more sense to you

Each time you drop your guard I feel it. It’s like we’re two people falling in deeper and deeper. Then suddenly, it’s the sudden flip of a switch. Your glance changes, your body language gets defensive. I get it…it’s scary.

You know what’s scarier? Living with the painful reality that we never tried. If we don’t try we still get hurt…

I have seen over-the-shoulder messages and it didn’t look good - want to help in some way without revealing that I saw messages and mediate without it blowing up for everybody.

Contexto eu e essa amiga se conhecemos desde 2019 pela época que estudamos juntas no fundamental. Teve um tempo q a gente perdeu o contato e eu me mudei de cidade… mas uns 3 anos atrás voltamos a ter contato. Eu já fiz viagens pra poder rever ela visitá-la mais 5h quando dava é assim agente mantinha contato. Recentemente ela começou uma faculdade numa cidade muito próxima da minha por esse motivo eu achei q a gente poderia se ver mais por que antes eu tinha que pegar uma van e ficar mais 5h lá agora seria mais fácil só 1h de distância. Mas esse encontro nosso só aconteceu 1 única vez por que eu fui até a cidade que ela tá estudando. Nas férias dela eu tbm ofereci de acolher ela lá em casa ( tenho casa nessa mesma cidade) pra ela passar pelo menos 1 dia lá comigo, e ela não quis sempre senti q era eu que puxava a relação mas não ligava muito pra isso, aí vez outra quando ela postava story se divertindo com os outros amigos eu zoava falando coisas que claramente era brincadeira tipo: tô com ciúmes da minha mulher e coisas novas do tipo… eu não me sentia mal de verdade por ela ter outros amigos pelo contrario eu apoiei muito ela fazer amizades na faculdade e incentivei falando que isso seria importante, eu tbm sou do tipo de garota que simplesmente adora colocar a auto estima de quem é importante pra mim lá em cima ou seja todo vez que eu vejo uma amiga arrumada postando algo que eu achei legal, eu vou sim curtir e comentar! E com ela foi isso que eu sempre fiz… tbm pelo fato de sermos amigas e não nos vermos muito sempre que eu a via tentava colocar o assunto em dia… eu não tô vivendo nada extraordinário tô no início da vida ou seja as coisas q eu tinha pra compartilhar com ela eram: assuntos sobre a faculdade, assunto sobre o enem, perguntava sobre a vida dela como estava, falava sobre músicas, falava sobre o passado da época que estudávamos juntas,perguntas sobre a família dela,como andava o relacionamento dela, quando dava falava um pouco da minha vida amorosa tbm ( por ser solteira acaba que rende mais assunto do que uma pessoa num relacionamento estável) e mandava reels e meme pra ela. Nós duas temos gostos parecidos e isso que nos aproximava como amigas o amor por um certo grupo de k-pop bem famoso, aí recentemente teve uma polêmica envolvendo esse grupo… e quando eu vi a proporção que aquilo tinha tomado fiquei meio abalada… fui conversar com ela e defender meu ponto de vista sobre a situação… até aí ok, aí ela disse que concordava enfim e depois eu falei q eu tava triste com a situação mais acreditava que teria uma reviravolta um pronunciamento da parte do grupo, e disse que até lá iria dar meu apoio aos membros pq não considero nada demais essa polêmica, aí ela me respondeu assim: Você é burra ou ta se fazendo? Ninguém tem que focar te explicando o óbvio não, vai na internet e pesquisa.
Eu falei que não queria discutir mas isso não era maneira dela defender o ponto de vista dela chamando os outros de burro, e falei com aquele era meu ponto de vista e pronto, aí ela respondeu: tbom mana, vai falando aí com seu cérebro de peito de frango, aí eu me irritei por o tempo todo ela ficou insistindo em me rebaixar e respondi assim: Acho q o cérebro de peito de frango aqui, tá funcionando melhor que o de certas pessoas né, dito isso ela ficou pedindo explicação de quem seria as certas pessoas, e eu falei que o óbvio não precisava ser explicado, e ela disse que não estava óbvio pq ela se direcionou a quem ela quis e puxei a mensagem e respondi: ambas. E no final ela ficou insistindo perguntando quem era essas certas pessoas e eu já tava sem paciência não queria mais discutir e respondi: ninguém, deixa pra lá. e ela respondeu: tá. Mas eu já tava me arrumando pra faculdade e então nem abri q conversava novamente pra ver mais nada. Quando eu cheguei de noite pra ver o Instagram eu vi q ela tinha feio uma sequência de storys de indireta pra mim expondo tudo que a gente já viveu durante a amizade simplesmente pra quem quisesse ver no Instagram ( detalhe story público) só não citou meu nome porém me descreveu basicamente. Ela falou que tem uma menina que quer ser ela, que não consegue mais postar as coisas dela pq essa “tal menina “ quer roubar a personalidade dela, chamou de cão, chamou de satanás chamou de todo tipo de nome, falou de situações extremamente específicas explo: uma vez vi ela usando uma lente e tava com vontade fazia tempos de comprar uma pra mim tbm aí pedi o link ela me passou e eu comprei porém totalmente diferente a lente q eu comprei era verde a dela cinza e a minha tinha grau, ai ela usou isso como argumento pra dizer q eu era invejosa e queria roubar a personalidade dela!?, falou tbm q tinha umas encomendas q iam chegar mais ela nem ia postar pra essa tal de invejosa não ver, falou que tinha um jogo q vai lançar mais ela tá até com medo de postar sobre ele pra essa invejosa não ir lá e copiar e depois falar q é personalidade dela ( eu nem jogo, só joguei algumas vezes pq ela insistiu muito e era um esforço q eu fazia pra podermos passar tempo juntas) falou tbm que até as músicas q ela escuta eu copio ( sendo que as musicas que ela escuta é extremamente padrão! Bts é Michael jackson ) e eu não tenho 1 foto no meu feed com nada parecido, falou tbm q essa menina queria mandar dela que nem postava quando ia sair com os outros amigos pq essa outra comentava quando ela postava foto ela mesma admitiu q percebeu que era zoeira, mas depois falou que nem a mãe dela mandava nela. Falou tbm das vezes que desabafei com ela sobre problemas pessoais, disse que não era psicóloga pra essa tal menina só procurar ela pra falar coisa ruim ( só comentei 2 vezes com ela sobre isso) aí mandou fazer uma terapia disse que era pra ser quem eu sou pq eu pintei o cabelo de ruivo e ela tá com o cabelo vermelho, porém eu já queria pintar fazia 2 anos nem sabia q ela faria o mesmo depois, além disso meu cabelo antes já era ruivo só que dessa vez mudei o tom é simplesmente não é nada parecido com o dela o dela é vermelho e curto e o meu é longo e mais puxado pra o cobre e laranja enfim e mandou fazer uma terapia e me chamou de capeta. e teve muita mais coisa basicamente pelos storys dela eu descobri e ela meio que me detestava, descobri tbm que a pessoa que eu tinha 7 anos de amizade tinha uma visão sobre mim que eu não considero nem 1% como realidade todo esse papinho de inveja não condiz com quem eu fui durante a amizade, eu sempre a admirei… era o completo oposto, nunca passou na minha cabeça q ela pensava isso de mim pela lógica, Sei q ela tava com raiva e tudo mais porém achei infantilidade ela falar tudo isso nos story, se ela tivesse é chegado pra mim falado que tava sentindo eu ia me desculpar e falar que não imaginava q ela se sentia assim. Porém agora eu já nem sei se ela só tava desabafando ou foi q raiva que fez ela falar tudo isso… eu mesma não queria perder uma amizade por conta de uma discussão sobre k-pop pq pra mim nem faz sentido… mas tbm fico pensando será que ela sempre pensou isso de mim? Será q vale a pena ir conversar com ela pq simplesmente nem sei o que pensar depois de receber tanta informação. Vocês responderiam as indiretas e seriam diretos perguntando pra ela se aquilo é a opinião sincera dela ou fingiriam que nem se tocaram e deixariam pra lá e se afastariam dessa amizade?

Hii readers! Even though I have accepted the situation and outcome. It would be nice to see where everyone’s view point is and how they may have handled the situation.

I’m a 26-year-old single female. I had two friends—we will call them G and Chexmix. (Both females btw)
Some back story on who these two are. Chexmix was someone I met maybe 2 years ago. And she was becoming a close friend. Someone I chilled with regularly. She’s fun, low-maintenance, and someone I always had good vibes with, so I had zero reason to doubt her judgment.
G I’ve known for maybe 9/10 years. G is someone who always seems to be in the middle of self-made mess, but claims she wants to do better. I wanted to believe she was genuine about turning things around, so I opened my doors to her.
I was already pretty hesitant (Not that it has anything to do with me… but in my house it would have everything to do with me). When it comes to my peace it is non negotiable.
I mind my business and enjoy my quiet life. I didn’t want that being interrupted.
I felt like as a friend, I could possibly help as she seemed ready for change and I was just giving my friend the benefit of doubt.

Anyways these 2 friends don’t know each other. I introduced them (first mistake). I figured that 2 of my “ closer “friends that I do hang with and chill with often can come together and WE ALL can get along and chill together idk. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I never mix friends fyi .. If I do it just depends on the individuals sometimes
Anyways
We go out… and we have a goodnight and we end up back at my house and everything is good, everything is sweet. At this point we are all in the living room. I have an air mattress blown up for them and I even have my futon laid out. I end up falling asleep on my bean bag chair in the corner…. Last I remember is them sitting on 2 complete ends of the futon doing their own separate thing. It had to be 3?4am?

I’m usually sleeping underneath the cover. Head And all and I was slowly waking up, I remember hearing like tip toes so I popped up taking the blanket off my head and I see G in her underwear..she had on a shirt and I go … “what are you doing?” And she just froze and looked at me. I didn’t want to assume. ..Girl could have been doing anything but I then realized that Chexmix was no where to be found…. And again didn’t want to assume. Chexmix could have been left?? Using the bathroom ?? idk and idc. I said interesting and I lay my head back down.
Maybe 30 mins later I wake back up again and I have to use the Bathroom Im walking to the back of my house to get to the Bathroom and lord and behold I see them IN MY BED. The door was wide open… I thought that was pretty bold.
Before I even say anything… I do not care who anyone is being intimate with but in In my beddd is kind of crazy? Idk there’s a level of disrespect and carelessness happening Huhhh ??? there’s so many options and routes they could have taken as well But in this situation they both lack consideration and respect.
Anyways after I told them that they needed to go it didn’t end there.

As the week was going by they both were texting me and apologizing and saying how shitty that was and how they wouldn’t want to do anything to ruin the friendship I have with them 😂 **idk I felt like they were genuine until they weren’**t.
I have Chexmix telling me I’m blowing the situation out of pocket because she’s convinced herself that I’m in love with her? She says she’s been realizing that for a while now and the way that this is playing out I gotta be in love. I can say that this isn’t that. 😂 let’s not deflect.
I can say that I love all my friends and anyone that is in my corner. I’ll show you that everyday. I am very supportive of my friends and whatever they may need they know they can come to me and I got them. So besides me being a genuine ass human being… and a friend my intentions were never ever that.
On the other hand I have G acting like I’m the biggest villain. She doesn’t see anything real fault in her doing but not that I have all the trust in the world anyways but i definitely have none for her or Chexmix now.

In conclusion i said my peace to the both of them and it was pretty straight forward and it was to really say my last words before i decided to just block them both.

I also didn’t mention that even after everything was said and done i was pretty calm about the whole situation. Things were calm until they started being sneaky? I don’t enjoy feeling like I have to worry about a friend’s lying to me. And they were doing that ..just to hang out 😂 so no I realize that they are okay in the chaos that they create
I ended up blocking them both and continuing my life because it does in fact keep going. 🙂‍↕️

I (24F) have been friends with “Daisy” (23F) since our senior year of high school. We became extremely close while studying for our final exams and would spend 10+ hours on Discord calls, sometimes without even talking. Even after we went to different universities, she would come to my university and attend classes with me despite not studying there.
Over the next four years, she became heavily involved in my social life. She befriended my university friends and treated them like her own, sometimes making them uncomfortable. After I graduated and started a demanding job, I naturally had less free time, although I still made an effort to see her and my friends after work.
She also started coming to my workplace during lunch breaks and would spend my entire shift waiting for me at a nearby café. She became friends with my coworkers too.
Things got worse during a girls’ trip I planned with a coworker. I invited Daisy out of courtesy, not expecting her to actually come, but she did everything possible to join us. During the two-week trip, I became extremely uncomfortable with her behavior. She acted very childlike toward me, constantly holding my pinky or shirt, hugging me without warning despite the heat, carrying a plushie and using a baby voice, and even kissing my cheek and hand in a way that felt more like a romantic partner than a friend. My coworker noticed it too.
She also became annoyed whenever I called my boyfriend, even though it wasn’t often, and would constantly ask what was wrong whenever I texted my best friend for more than a couple of minutes. She even bought the exact same dress I had chosen, despite us having completely different styles.
At one point, I was so overwhelmed that I cried alone in the bathroom because I felt trapped and knew confronting her would probably result in her crying and making herself the victim. She also went through my phone while I was showering and then denied doing it, becoming extremely offended when I confronted her.
After the trip, I decided I needed distance. I started focusing on work, declining plans with her, asking her not to come to my workplace, and trying to build friendships outside of her.
She reacted very badly. She came to my house uninvited saying we “needed to talk,” repeatedly called me to find out where I was, and started getting closer to my friends by visiting their homes, universities, and workplaces for random reasons and telling me about it.
I eventually confronted her and told her that her behavior had become suffocating and that I needed space. I made it clear that I wasn’t necessarily ending the friendship, but I needed distance for a while. Instead of respecting that, she pressured me, called me an asshole for trying to cut her off, and continued involving herself in my life.
The strange part is that she does have other friends, but she has always kept them completely separate from me and refused to introduce us, saying I wouldn’t like them.
After five years of friendship, I now want her to stop calling me, coming to my workplace or home, and trying to meet me or involve herself with my friends.
AITA for asking her to leave me alone and give me space?

So I went to chandigarh with this friend of mine (only one friend I have) .being good looking girl in club approached her .exchanged their numbers.but he asked. Me to chat with her.so while chatting he kept on saying me I'm jealous with him.and many things .and I managed to bring that girl to his hotel room just by chatting.while they were in room maybe she didn't like his company so she left.and I realised my friend is not so nice with me .it's always about him.while we were entering to club I asked him to ask the person at the reception counter for entry fees .but he was not going to ask him as it would down his reputation.me being bit crazy I managed to get entries at just 2 k which they were asking for 5k .so we entered and he just was standing doing nothing like the personal n who thinks i want to look different wannabe reputation ke chode so I dint find it nice we kep standing for 6 hours in club.😭 And he kept taunting I'm jealous my friend left because my own persona like personal things know he's the only friend i have.when we came back I called him and broke my friendship and said him have a wonderful journey .he asked after some days to go with him to Bombay to find some acting thing.i totally denied he also taunted agr mai nhi jauga toh iska mtlb ye nhi mai nhi jauga .mene bola toh chle ja kyu pooch rha.and now today I saw his snap hes in Bombay and doing his stuff.i don't know a feeling of sadness and bit like I lost my friend. Now it seems like we are parted away

Chandigarh trip I planned at my own and expenses I did at my own after total when we came back he gave me money .from uber to hotel I managed everything and what was my give away I'm jealous .I said ki if I'm jealous mai kyu chat krke dunga but he was ridiculous.he even said jb movie dekhta hai koi toh hero ki bjah se dekhta hai na ki script ya director ki bja se it hurt me.and I said him u are such a narcissist...

Hey, i know how everyone does hate having a “jealous friend” but unfortunately, sometimes it’s me. And i hate myself for it.
I am an average working woman, not super pretty or skinny or rich. But most of my friends are either SUPER rich, skinny, or pretty. I am not kidding when i say how gorgeous they are. And they’re a good friends and i love our friendship and I support them with my whole heart.

But,I can’t help to feel smaller around them sometimes, i know my place and my reality. My husband is struggling financially a lot and that affected me in a way that I started to compare my self with every girl i see.

And I despite myself for that because i used to be so sure of myself and so confident that when i see someone bigger I don’t feel smaller.
But it started happening to me again.
It socks my energy and I don’t feel like the same person again.
I hate how jealous I’ve became from everyone around me and i keep trying to remind myself to stay cool and kind to everyone.

Do you have any tips to deal with that?

Hello. I just moved to Seattle 2.5 years ago, and since then I’ve found a group of friends.

In my home state I didn’t have any friends in college and it was very isolating. Now that I’m in Seattle, that has all changed and I’m definitely happier than I was. However, that also means I’m less experienced in how to tell if someone is a bad friend or not.

Birthday: for my 29th birthday last year, I decorated my own apartment, made the birthday cake, catered the food, and made the mulled wine. Whenever it’s someone else’s birthday in the group, someone at least bakes the cake for them. And usually they organize a dinner out, or host a party. I had to do it all alone.

Summer 2026: I’m leaving to study abroad in 3 weeks. 5 months ago I was crying to my friends about how scary it is, and that I hope they won’t forget me while I’m gone. They consoled me and supported me. And they said they’d throw a goodbye party for me. Fast forward to last August. I hosted a bonfire last night and one of my friends goes “I guess this can be your sending off party.” And I was so hurt and pissed because that’s so lazy of them. A get together that I intended as just a hangout and bought all the food, suddenly is THEIR goodbye party to me…..

These people have known each other for 7 years and two of them live together. I’m definately still the new kid in the group. So I see why they put in more effort for celebrating each other. But it still sucks.

They’re also the first real friends I’ve ever had. M

I’m 15 years old going into sophmore year and I’m a girl. I have a Hispanic friend that constantly uses the N-word and makes fun of me but he claims he it’s a joke and it’s a back-and-forth thing, but I’ve never done it to him. For example he makes fun of my ethnicity because I’m a Nigerian such as calling me, Nigerian names and laughing. I have constantly told him that it is not OK for what he’s doing in which he apologizes and says he won’t do it again but it’s been month and nothing has changed. I recently unfriended him, but my sister on the other hand still hung out with him even after I told him what he did to me. The main thing he did was make his friend. Call me a bad word in which his friend proceeded to call me a N-word. That was the last straw and it made me block him and completely block ties with him. My sister said that I was wrong because it wasn’t him who said it and he even apologized, but I don’t really think I wasn’t.

A week ago, my sister kept begging me to be friends with him again in which I had agreed because I got mad with her constantly hanging out with him and she said he wanted to be cool with me.

I unblocked him and followed him in which she sent me a long apology, apologizing for everything he had done in which I accepted.

Now yesterday he messaged me and he said the N-word and I am getting mad again because he never changed even after months and also when I had blocked him, he tried to talk to me the next day in which I ignored him, and I used to say him and talk bad about him, but I feel like it was deserved

AITAH

so basically there’s this guy, let’s call him milo, who i used to have a crush on. he had this girl he was pursuing before, let’s call her naya, and apparently she treated him like shit so he got really hurt after everything ended. (No cheating involved, just ghosted) a month later i ended up talking to milo again through a 5-man game and i still had a crush on him at that point. he told me he wasn’t ready for anything so i was like okay, fair enough. then literally within the month he’s talking to another girl from his class, so eventually i lost interest anyway. the funny part is naya kept appearing on my feed 😭 like her account would just randomly show up. i would screenshot it and send it to jace, milo’s bsf and the one i keep talking to (wingman), because we’d joke around about milo and naya and shit.

APPARENTLY he interpreted all of that as me being insecure about naya???? then days after i had already lost my crush on milo, i randomly followed naya because she kept appearing on my feed and i was like “whatever, i’ll follow you” AND NO GUYS, I’M NOT INSECURE OR JEALOUS. i even sent it to jace as a convo starter and his reaction was so weirdly disappointed. then MINUTES LATER, the gf of byron (byron is my classmate and is bsf w jace) sent me screenshots of byron and jace’s conversation where jace was basically saying i was fucking crazy and insecure and that apparently i’m immature. To me that seemed too emotional over a follow… I treated him as a friend and we’ve been talking for like, 2 months and now he’s talking behind my back instead of confronting me.

for the record i’m literally a girls girl. yes, i know naya hurt milo and i'm sorry he went through that, but i'm not automatically gonna hate a girl just because a guy i used to like had a horrible experience with her 😭 if anything that makes her more interesting to me ngl.. dont hate pls. I just dont like one sided stories. also my friendship with milo was shitty, we're not even close like that, he only told me “we’re friends for the meantime, let’s see how things will turn out” bullshit, there is no friendship code situation that implies i must not follow his worst girl experience ever. i literally just followed an account that kept appearing on my feed. Minutes after that, jace blocked me on tiktok, facebook, instagram. Like idk why was he so damn emotional? you were the one talking about me behind my back and somehow YOU'RE the one who had to block ME everywhere?????

Buckle up everyone this one is going to be a long one

(Also I apologize in advance for any grammar issues)

Buckle up, everyone, because this one is going to be a long one. 😭

(Also, I apologize in advance for any grammar issues.)

So, let's start from the beginning.

I (F20) and my ex-best friend, M19 let's call him Adam have been friends for about four years. We met through a messy situation involving an ex of mine. I caught my ex cheating on me, and Adam helped me discover it. We both ditched my ex and decided to become friends after that situation.

We spoke every day and helped each other through some pretty dark moments, including depression and other personal struggles. We bonded over shared trauma, especially because we both had abusive fathers. He was my best friend and my biggest supporter or so I thought.

Over the years, both Adam and I had our fair share of rocky and unstable relationships. We would advise each other, support each other, and be there for one another whenever one of us went through a breakup.

About two years into our friendship, we decided to explore another side of our connection and tried moving into romantic territory. However, we both felt uncomfortable with it and didn't want to risk ruining our friendship, so we left it alone.

He eventually started dating someone else, and I decided to focus on myself for a while. We still maintained contact and remained friends, but after his relationship started, he checked in on me less and less.

When Adam started dating his girlfriend, there was actually a point where she wanted him to cut me off. At the time, she didn't even know me or have a personal relationship with me, but she apparently felt uncomfortable with our friendship. Adam immediately refused and told her that I was the one friend he would never cut off. At the time, that meant a lot to me because it showed me how important our friendship was to him. That's also part of why everything that happened afterward has hurt so much.

By the end of 2024, I started dating someone. Eventually, we got engaged to each other. He is truly my whole world and my soulmate.

When Adam found out, he congratulated me over a call, but something about it didn't feel genuine. Instead, he started belittling my relationship and would make comments like, "I hope this one lasts, considering you have bad taste in men."

He would also make highly inappropriate sexual comments about me and my partner and ask me how much I wanted to have sex with him, especially considering I was a virgin at the time. He also called my partner attractive, which I found odd considering the other things he was saying.

His behavior toward me became increasingly erratic.

He would say things like how his girlfriend was just like me and that he guessed he had a type. When we met in person, he also made comments about how my body looked like a mix between his girlfriend's body and her sister's. I felt like that was completely inappropriate to say.

And then there was the singing incident.

Before either of us was in a relationship, I posted a video of myself singing on my story. He responded with laughing emojis and told me that I couldn't sing, that I was terrible, and that I should never try singing again.

That completely shattered me.

I valued his opinion more than anyone else's because he was my best friend. Everyone else who heard me sing was supportive and told me that I had a beautiful voice—including his own girlfriend recently.

I ended up blocking him.

He contacted me on Instagram wanting to make things right. He told me that I was one of the most important people in his life and admitted that he had just been a jerk. I forgave him, and we continued our friendship.

Unfortunately, the same patterns continued.

A few weeks ago, we got into another argument because I expressed that I felt like he wasn't making any effort in our friendship anymore. I felt like I was always the one making an effort, so I finally addressed it with hlim. My partner had also noticed that Adam's behavior toward me seemed inappropriate and not like the behavior of a normal friend.

We talked, made up, and I forgave him again.

But once again, he went right back to his old ways.

Then came the most recent situation, which was basically the cherry on top.

About a week ago, I texted him asking how he was doing and apologized for a previous misunderstanding between us.

The misunderstanding happened because I was stuck at the mall without taxi fare. I had gone there intending to get money, but the bank was already closed when I arrived. I asked Adam if he could help me get home. He said he would, but the money never came through, so I assumed he had left me hanging again and made another plan for myself.

I later texted him and told him that I expected him to leave me hanging. He responded and explained that he had actually sent the money, but he had sent it to my other number, which was switched off at the time. He told me that my words had hurt him, so of course I apologized.

Anyway, as I said, about a week ago I reached out to him first, as I usually do.

He told me about everything going on in his life. He said that he is now a manager at a company, makes around 22k, and is planning on getting a new car. I congratulated him because I genuinely was proud of him.

He asked about me, so I told him that I was doing well, that I was studying, and that I was making wedding plans.

He immediately skipped over everything I said and only asked when the wedding was.

I didn't respond.

Then, on Thursday, my family and I were suddenly served with an immediate eviction notice.

I was extremely anxious and scared because I had never experienced anything like that before. My fiancé was also worried about me, so he reached out to Adam for help.

Adam didn't seem particularly concerned about what was happening to me. He simply said that he would look for a job for me.

And that's it.

My fiancé ended up getting me a really beautiful place to stay, while the rest of my family stayed with my aunt.

It is now Sunday, and Adam has not reached out to me once to ask if I'm okay. He hasn't checked on me, asked how I'm coping, or even messaged my fiancé.

I completely understand that he couldn't necessarily help me financially or find me somewhere to stay. But even my brothers' friends, who couldn't help him directly, still gathered money to support him.

Adam didn't do any of that for me.

No emotional support. No financial support. Nothing.

And what hurts the most is that I know he has the means to help.

Then there is the situation with his girlfriend.

I asked her if she could temporarily take in one of my cats for just two weeks. By then, we should have a new place. I even offered to pay her and provide everything the cat would need, including his food.

She completely ignored my message but continued liking my Instagram stories.

I don't want to assume anything, but I genuinely feel like Adam may have told her not to help me.

And honestly, I'm just broken.

I don't have it in me to forgive him again.

I feel like I've reached a point where I don't want him at my wedding anymore either. That is supposed to be one of the most special moments of my life, and I want it to be shared with the people who are genuinely closest to me—the people who have shown up for me, supported me, and cared about me when things were falling apart.

I feel like I've spent years giving my absolute all to the very few people I allow myself to become close to, only to repeatedly feel like I don't receive that same love, loyalty, or effort in return.

At this point, I feel like the only people I can truly rely on are my family and my fiancé.

So am I overreacting for not wanting him at my wedding or even in my life anymore?

My knee has just started acting up and I already wasn't in the mood for bullshit when a long time friend (we'll call her J) hit me up saying she needed 35 dollars from me. I have 15 dollars to my name that I have to use on pain relief creams and meds until I get in to see my doctor. I have loaned her money before. I never saw it back and never made a big deal of it. I calmly told J that I didn't have money right now but I could see if our other friend could help her. I hit our other friend up (let's call him P).

P said not to give J a cent because she's spending recklessly and already asked P for 150 dollars that P gave her 2 days ago. P told me that J's social security disability pay was more than mine and that if I'm making it work and J can't then it's J's problem. I told J that P said he can't help either. She asked me why I even talked to P. That's when I revealed that I know he sent her 150 dollars 2 days ago and that she gets more money than me per month.

That's when J called me a dirty, trifling bitch and said I didn't know what it's like to be a single mom. I pointed out that I was a single mom before I married my husband and that she doesn't have her kids. After that, she called me a drug addict piece of shit (I used to use meth but I'm in recovery) and called my daughter slow. I told her to lose my number because I was already having a bad day but this bitch was on bridge burning time. Let the bridge burn. I'm never helping her again.