M 40 F36 need help with trauma based advice
So me and my wife are struggling in our own ways at the moment il try and give a brief outline about 3 years ago me and my wife had a late quite traumatic miscarriage with that trauma it unlocked Pandora’s box and previous child hood trauma involving sexual abuse from a family member across many years I have been doing my best to support her but I admit I could have done better
It’s started to effect our relationship and intimacy in our relationship which I’ve found hard and the feeling of rejection that she no longer wants too do anything with me it’s obviously nothing compared to the trauma that my wife has been through and the flashbacks she relives but what has become clear is that I have overstepped some boundaries by unintentionally putting pressure on her for intimacy which in return she has done to keep me happy basically I’ve always had a higher drive than my wife but I never meant to cross boundaries but I feel so ashamed that I have I’ve made her trauma worse in some ways I feel like I have made this all worse and I worry how to fix this
The perpetrator is still in her life and I’ve found it hard to not be angry with what he has done my anger has made it harder for my wife to talk to me as I have been shutting her down so she has shut down as well
I would really appreciate hearing people advic or if others have had a similar experience ?