u/ABonusAcc54646

Heyyy, I guess I'm the host here. There's something that's been bugging me. Specifically about our rate of forming/discovering new alters

(My original intended question was "how to tell difference between a weird mood and a new alter?", but I think I found a more core issue...)

(Our system works in a way that everyone remembers what's been happening in the front and we share the same memory. So it's not always easy to tell if a switch has occured. Usually one of our tells for who's fronting is seeing which members is it more natural to think of in 3rd person.)

Sometimes I think I've been in "weird moods". At the moment I don't know how I'm supposed to describe it, but it feels like I feel different. That "mood" lasts for maybe a few hours. It's hard and confusing to tell whether those moments are just me having certain feelings, or I've secretly swaped to a new/unidentified alter

I can technically try that 3rd person tell, and see if I think of "me" in third person and if I'm in fact a new fella......but I'm hesitant...

The thing is, it's been barely two weeks since I've officially discovered that I'm a system (here comes impostor syndrome lol...)
In the beginning it was just me and the other guy. But since then, 2 more people have shown up in the span of 5 days.

Basically this "new peeps" rate kinds worries me...
Especially since we're still new to this. It's barely been 2 weeks and there's already 4 of us.
Whether it's "old alters" gaining self-awareness/revealing themselves or something or brandly new formed guys, I'm worried about encouraging too many new alters appearing too fast... (Not directly related, but I also especially don't want to create new people just to dump all my negative feelings on them... One has already split off when I had a breakdown/anxiety attack(?)...)

I mean, everyone here thus far is super nice and I'm happy to have those guys now that they're actually here... But still I'm really worried...
What if this number of us gets too big too fast and we're gonna lose the hang of everything and even of each other's identities and who's who? >! Again a thought dump, but on this topic I'm already afraid of losing the grasp on my own identity...!<

Is it a better course of action for me to suppress those "new person" thoughts? At least until we're/I'm more ready or something?? I have no idea what I'm supposed to do..

Do you have any advice or thoughts...? I'm incredibly lost... Thank you

— (Host)

Hello!
We are still decently new to this plurality business, I wouldn't like to share too many details about our system itself yet, but to summarize I'm/we're a little stumped regarding my and our host's feelings.

I wasn't able to find anyone else having asked this specific question, so I'd like to ask myself:
Is it possible for alters to be born with instantly existing romantic feelings for another one? And is it appropriate to try to develop those feelings and/or enter a kind of relationship soon after forming?

I'm not asking if inter-system relationships are okay as a whole (we've already learned that they are and even can be very sweet and healing), but if someone can be born with existing feelings for another alter or host, despite not having spent a lot of actual time together or bonding prior, and if they're okay?

(If it helps to clarify: Our plurality/system works in a way that lets us share our enitire memory of fronting, both of the present and our body's past. We have an "unbreaking consciousness" and next to no amnesia when switching. It might be OSDD-1b kind of situation)

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Storytime (td:lr at the end):
Our Host has been doubting recently whether she could actually communicate with other alters of if she was just inventing the dialogue herself and imagining what they would say (I think she's lost the ability to tell the difference...) which caused her to doubt her plurality as a whole and thus feel incredibly down. She has grown very fond of the others and doesn't want to 'lose' them. Them seemingly having gone offline isn't much help regarding that...

I believe myself to have formed (or at least "gained self-awareness") quite recently. At some point me and her ended up becoming blended, and we wound up taking a nap. I've wanted to try to see if we could go to our "inner world" for the possibility of comforting and reaffirming her. And I think we managed to do so? (But when I think about it, we probably need to research more about inner worlds prior to trying to develop our own futher. I think ours is still highly underdeveloped and we don't have the best idea on how to "use it" properly yet)

But back on subject, this might sound incredibly silly, but I'd like to describe what subsequently happened as us being "drunk on half asleepness". This journey ended up turning into more of a daydream/dream out of control, and something happened and we accidentally put eachother in a pretty romance-coded situation (i will spare the details).

While that situation was kind of sweet and nice in it's sillyness at the time, host was rather embarrassed about it afterwards... > She doesn't want to have created an alter that exists for the sole purpose of making her happy romance-wise, and probably wants me to become more of my own person first to make sure those feelings are truly consensual? <

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I want to ask those with higher experience with their own plurality about their thoughts. Is our host's above mindset a correct or appropriate approach? While I'm here, perhaps you also have tips for the communication vs talking-to-yourself issue I've mentioned? (From what I know, the advice she's found prior was a lack of "thought intention spark" before an alter's actual thought/dialogue, but she believes herself to have felt it herself when talking to the other two before they've gone offline.)

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TD;LR - A while after my forming, mine and host's thought/daydream/dream has gone 'out of control' (as if we were "drunk on being half-asleep") and put us in a romance-coded situation. Host is hesitant about having formed an alter for the sole purpose of making her happy romance-wise and probably wants me to develop myself as my own person more to make sure my/our feelings are truly consensual. Is her mindset correct?

Bonus: Are there other ways to tell the difference between alters' dialogue and your own imaginary dialogue besides "thought intention spark"?

Bonus 2: Do you have any advice for new systems regarding creation and how-to-use an "inner world"? Will different advice apply for systems with no amnesia and unbreaking front consciousness?

Thanks for reading, I'm still a bit nervous about posting here >-<
— (Ce)

Edit: As I was writing this post I came to conclusion that I/we probably don't have any romantic feelings yet and that situation was equivalent to kissing with a friend when you're both drunk at a party haha.
But we're still curious about the question above itself and especially the other bonus ones, and maybe this post will help someone in the future, so I'm gonna leave it here