How to compromise on trips away
Travel is my biggest hobby. Before I met my fiancée I was going away with friends probably 3 out of every 4 weekends plus 3-4 longer trips a year - which I now accept was too much, financially and physically, but I loved it.
Early on we agreed I'd reduce my trips to alternate weekends, which felt reasonable. After we moved in together she felt that was still a bit too much, so we compromised on 2 long trips a year plus 2 months with 2 short trips each.
I've just been put on gardening leave for 3 months. During that period already had a long trip and a couple of weekends planned, according to our agreement. But with so much extra free time I suggested an impromptu 8 day trip next month - to her first, before even mentioning it to friends.
She got upset that this was the "first thing" I thought of doing with the time. I don't think that's quite fair - one of the first things I actually suggested was extending a weekend away we already had planned together. The gardening leave was unexpected (I thought I'd work my full notice), so I'm not sure how I could have anticipated wanting to revisit our compromise.
She said she "wouldn't want to stop me" and it's "my decision" - but that feels like a slight copout. If I don't go, she can say she let me; if I do go, I still feel like she didn't want me to. I've booked the trip now but I'm still left feeling a bit guilty.
When I asked what bothers her most about me being away, she mentioned chores not getting done, cooking alone, and not spending quality time together. I offered to do chores immediately before and after, prepare frozen meals for her, and doing video calls to watch something together a few times. She didn't really say anything to that.
Her main hobby is streaming and gaming. She sometimes streams 7+ hours on a weekend, or most of a weekday evening. I fully support her - bringing her food, not interrupting, encouraging her when she's not motivated. She's also ill more often than most people and I of course look after her when that happens. I'm happy to do both, but I do wish the support felt more mutual when it comes to my hobby.
She feels our agreement is set and therefore it was effectively unfair for me to seek to 'reopen' it. But I feel it has to be contextual - if she were ill I'd cancel any trip without a second thought, regardless of the fact it's been "agreed" I can go.
She says that's different because that would be unplanned, and I can partially see that, but the gardening leave wasn't exactly planned either and it feels like this was a rare opportunity to spend more time doing what I love without worrying about annual leave and timings.
I'd love to go with her but she's not really interested in travel. It's not that she doesn't trust me, but just the being away that bothers her. This is the only thing we don't see eye to eye on; we are very compatible in everything else so this is nowhere near breaking up territory.
What's a fair compromise here?