u/AKiceman

Alright, alright. For anyone who comes across me in the CDrama subreddits, yall might have noticed my appreciation for Tian Xi Wei.

If my memory is correct, I first watched her in New Life Begins. She was absolute perfection and so she was added to my list of must watch actors.

I will watch all of her dramas in time, but for now I have seen:

• Born With Luck. (Which I hosted discussions for).
• Pursuit of Jade. (I also made a post about this not too long ago).
• Moonlit Reunion.
• Guardians of the Dafang.
• In Between.
• Wrong Carriage, Right Groom.
• First Love.
• New Life Begins.

A lovely actress. Very strong and capable. Oh, and adorable beyond all measure.

Let's dive into some GIFs. To the best of my knowledge, all of these GIFs are either from u/AquaphobicTurtle, u/Ateosira, or myself. (And one other person who must remind me that it was them so I may apologize for my poor memory).

Hello, my dear.

When you hear the name Tian Xi Wei, what is it you first think of? It is her big and luminous eyes? If I had to guess, it would probably be her cat personality. Afterall, she is known for her "cat salute". I don't have a GIF of that... Buuuuuut maybe you, kind reader, will share?

Meow? I am mildly allergic to cats...

Her portrayal of the Cat Demon Lord in Moonlit Reunion put her on the map for many viewers. It was that performance that had me saying for months that she was going to blow us out of the water with Pursuit of Jade. I was right, of course. Fan Changyu still lives in our hearts and minds. Oh, and a million and ten posts every week about POJ.

Me everyday realizing I have to go to work and be an adult.

Anyone remember what my saying was during the Guardians of the Defang rewatch discussions? "This show needs more TXW".

GOTD was a surprisingly good show and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Yet, it really did need more TXW. Her acting in bringing a spoiled princess through growth and trial was adorable and captivating.

Just how did she get her eyes to cross there?

TXW has this way of making a silly character and/or silly action look believable in a way that allows a jaded and pessimistic Snark Shifu to bust out laughing.

How I look knowing she should have another drama out very shortly.

Yup. I have used this GIF so many times to convery blissful happiness in comments.

Audrey Hepburn vibes, anyone? I just adore how happy she looks.

He's behind you, sweetie.

It's rather wild that it has taken me this long into the post to talk about New Life Begins. I'm weird, okay?

These days, to be introduced to TXW is probably with POJ, ML, or her upcoming dramas like Where the Mask Ends. But back in my day? *Cough* Referring to the past two years. *Cough*... Then NLB is a damn good choice. It is what I could call a silly drama with damn fine acting and a message poking at your brain with a very obvious message. I still tear up a little bit thinking about the ending and how the present versions of the main female leads were all thinking about their younger selves. It is a story of growth and love. Oh, and counting down the days until your "sick" husband dies. IYKYK. She made a darn calendar!

Story of growth and TXW? Well, heck! I must be talking about In Between.

That's about how I look after I realize I opened my big dumb mouth again.

I suspect not many people have seen In Between. Oh, how even to describe it? It's a story of growth and mini stage plays that happen each episode to highlight the folly of youth.

Oh, and almost burning the kitchen down.

You know, my sister did that with popcorn. Hi, sister.

I think what really stood out to me about In Between was how real it was. They weren't good or bad people, they were just people. They made mistakes. Some grew, some didn't. This is one of those dramas you watch once to experience it and make soul deep observations about yourself.

On second thought... I can think of a few characters that were straight scum. Anyways...

That smile.

Born With Luck. Imagine my surprise when I finished the drama and realized it was not just good, but actually great! I'm a sucker for romance, so for me to rave about a drama with no romance is rare. The story was hilarious and logical. The characters were FANTASTICALLY acted. The plot was engaging and flowing!

Oh, and she kicks butt!

Exhibit One.

SHE FLAME BROILED THAT GUY, OKAY???

Exhibit Two.

I volunteer to be kicked by her. Please?

Your honor. I rest my case. She is a badass.

If I could sum up my feelings about the show in one GIF:

https://i.redd.it/3ejessgk9jeh1.gif

So what are you still doing here? Run on over and start watching!

I think she realized she left the stove on.

Oh? You're still here? That works. I am not done talking about this lovely young lady. You know what is coming next, right?

Yup. Everyone's favorite show.

Sure I started with a POJ GIF... But you just know I haven't unleashed two of my most commonly used POJ/TXW GIFs.

If I compliment someone then this is one of my more common responses.

I am just a man, after all. We have this silly little thing where we like to be complimented by women. That's a whole topic I could get into, but mod mommy would get mad at me for straying off topic.

Anyways, on to my final GIF for this post.

You know what it is. You know what I haven't used yet. That one TXW GIF I love to tease people with.

Two of my favorite ladies in CDramas this year.

Of course it is the scene where Little Ning'er listens to the advice of the Marquis of Wu'an and punishes Fan Changyu. Sometimes you just need a cute spanking GIF to get your point across. I sure wish she had gotten 3 strikes in.

That's all folks!

Oh, any slander against TXW will be met with a certain GIF of her I keep in reserve for situations that call for it. Hehe.

Sound on off in comments and let us all bask in the warmth that is knowing Tian Xi Wei exists in this world.

Esther Yu.

That's it. That's the post.

Yes, I know that is what I said about Born With Luck and Tian Xi Wei... but it still holds true. I only started RTS because Esther Yu was in it. Didn't care about the plot. I was there for that cutie pie and all the GIFs I could make.

Of course, the plot grew on me and I was hooked faster than a fish as things progressed. It really was a great show. A very mature and logical romance. A surprisingly well acted villain. Good social critique. And a team of boys that stood on business for their Ms. Lin.

u/heartsandclouds wrote a very lovely post about why you should watch the show. Go give it a read.

This is a RTS Esther Yu Appreciation GIF post. I made GIFs. I share GIFs. You may use GIFs.

LET GIF IT, BABY!!!!!

Pretty much how I look when someone is pissing me off while I try to eat.

It's that look of nonchalance for me.

For such a frowny face, she sure loved it later when she actually ate it.

Nah, I'd fold like a muthafaking lawn chair if she looked at me like that.

See what I mean? This show was feeding me!

I imagine that's the face many of you make when I drop a great innuendo.

Cutie Pie.

Literally how I look when I am feeling silly.

Oh to be young again and have that energy.

Oh I have already gotten good use from this one.

Well, besides that one time...

The most adorable penguin ever.

Woof. I am sat. Woof.

How I imagine everyone is looking after I barked for her.

But they look so good together!!!!!!!!!!

It really was.

I am once again saying she is the most adorable.

I love all of you for taking the time to be here with me.

I don't blush. I only hide how dirty I actually am with false modesty.

No I am not telling you just how dirty I am.

Well, that's less than half of the GIFs I made. Want to see the rest? Keep your eyes open. They are all somewhere, everywhere, right there.

Mommy, am I good boy?

Into the breech I go.

Greetings, everyone! I think there has been a certain lack of posts about POJ recently today so I figured I would create one so we may bask in the glory that was this decent show.

I know, I know. You are probably rolling your eyes and wanting to spank me right now for this very obvious diabolical troll! I told Mommy I wanted to do something bad and she responded with the skull emoji when I said it was a POJ post.... 💀

Harder, please. I need to feel something.

Nah! You guys know I am sincere in my appreciation for this show! You're probably looking at me like an adoring wife to her husband!

I miss them.

It's no secret around here that I am a fan of Tian Xi Wei so obviously I watched this drama. It is simply her best work since Moonlit Reunion.

Now that's another show I need to do a post on... but we will get there in time. A very long time. I'm a busy boi!

Dare say anything against TXW and I will...

I have many GIFs to use.

And then after that I will....

I'm in love.

Don't worry, I know you actually want to throw me a parade for creating another POJ post for yall to enjoy.

Our Flower General never fails to impress.

Now I could spend my time waxing poetic words about POJ and how good it was even with its many plot holes and too short run time that cut off the air it needed to fully breath... However, I would rather use my GIFs to speak for me instead. Let us relive the glory that was those days when we got to look forward to each day and new episodes.

Yes, I am.

Changyu is one of my favorite FLs recently. She is a wonderful mix of sensible, strong, slicing, and... dare I say sexy??? I could happily watch her slice and slap people all day! She gave us this is quantity! She stood up for herself, her family, and the people. Oink, oink! I'd get slapped by her just for fun!

Paging u/AXA-5 I want you to come here!!!! Are you here?

;)

Oh, you're here now? Kneel before me. ❤️ I did this for you.

I'd bark for her.

Now, to everyone else reading this post, I speak to you.

I really must beg of you to enjoy this moment with me because this drama was the gateway for many new viewers who now get to enjoy this world with us. Seeing many people still talking about this show is rather a beautiful thing because it shows the impact that it had. It doesn't have to be the best or the worst, it just has to be. Yes, many questions that are being asked can easily be answered by a simple search of this discussion posts, but how else do we get to rediscover and even potentially learn new things about something that has had its time and begun to move on?

>!Yes, too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing, but I do like to look for the positives around here.!<

The way I laughed at this scene.

Oh? Not fully convinced that we need to talk about POJ more? Okay. Let me give you a reason.

That slap can straight kill a pig.

A slap so powerful it spawned an obsession! Might as well give you a bonus.

He deserves it.

Yeah, he gave off massive cringe face slimeball villain, but you can't deny his aura. Eh, well... Maybe you can. I've honestly had enough of this kind of villain. It's so boring now. Quit being a creep towards women and actually make an evil plan that astounds us with its brilliance. Gosh! Is it too hard to respect women around here? Sheesh.

While he was rather on the wavelength of your slightly better than standard creep... There was someone far better to watch.

Eh?

Oh yeah! You just knew I was talking about this massive red flag! Toxic! Obsessed! Touch her and Die beyond any imaginable level. Pure chaos in a calm package. Delicious and very concerning watching anyone simp over him. The way I was questioning the sanity of some of yall was wild. I get it though. This ducker played his role is a very calm and possessive manner that gave the viewer something to actually root for because he did not disrespect Qian Qian. He was rather respectful in his overly obsessive and possessive boundary crossing manner. Bruh. Does that even make sense? But still, red flag. Far too obsessed. Complete hot mess of lack of respect for the boundaries of his prey. I do not support him.

Now, if we want touch her and die in a far more appropriate manner... We need to dive into the Marquis of Wu'an.

I love this.

It's that calm detachment for me as he gets revenge for his wife. Probably my favorite ZLH role yet. The Marquis really did care for his ladies. Both of them. I think that was some of my favorite scenes in the show anytime it showed him caring for Changyu and Ning'er.

Bro really does need some therapy though.

For a marriage built on lies, the love and respect was real. As much as I think the 15 episodes we spent in the village was far too long and that it hurt the rest of the story due to the lack of time to devote more time to their capital life... I still think it was a beautiful story getting to see his husbandly side come out and do everything he could to take care of his new family. For someone who is used to unquestioning command of those around him, he easily slid into a partnership with Changyu and followed her lead when needed.

That's his daughter now. Well, little sister-in-law.

Gosh I am a softie for the Cold and Hard ML who is protective of his women trope. Especially if his lady comes with a cute little sister who likes birds.

You know, I realize that I didn't GIF the Princess Royal at all which is shame since she was hilarious and perfect in everything she did in this show. Especially the whole 'this is your husband?" scene!

Well, thank you for your time! Please accept my bow!

I appreciate you.

Oh, before I forget...

In the "What if" ending they gave us, do you really think Zheng and Changyu would actually get married? How many times have we seen the childhood betrothal trope that just turns them into siblings and they go after other partners? Just something I have been pondering.

Welcome back to the monthly innuendo thread for this sub. I am your dom host, AKiceman, otherwise known as The Snark Shifu. Or as I sometimes call myself... The Innuendo Initiator.

Allow me to link you to my other innuendo posts. The One that that started it and The First Monthly one.

As always, we blame credit u/No-Recipe-7653 for this duty we have humbly accepted. Our admiration is high for this wonderful person. Please accept my bow. She says she feels like my mother and I will happily be her son. This will work out better for her than the other woman who claimed to be my mother. That was my first stalker! Still don't know how she got my phone number and address... Eh. Don't matter. I am an American and fear nothing. Hmmmm. This would be the perfect place to insert that one GIF from How Dare You... But you get the picture.

Let me open up with a GIF I am finally sharing after teasing it for awhile. I created this GIF because obviously the scene was hilarious and it reminded me of how much Recipe works hard to keep me in check.

The show might be a mess, but my dear Shisan always keeps me entertained.

Here is a safe space for you to let your hair down and bring out your inner seductress. Feel free to go full Nine-Tailed Fox Demon here and seduce us in the comments with your favorite spicy scenes! I'm thinking Pian Ran, Lu Wu Yi, and Wu Wang Yan levels of seduction here. Be as bold as Mu Xuan Ling.

Before we get to the GIFs, I would like to share with you something I wrote for The First Jasmine.

There is a scene where we FINALLY get a really passionate kiss... and then...

>Uh... We go from that kiss to a scene of bees? Like, birds and the bees? Did they "make honey" together? Hehe. Did he pollinate her? Did he land in her flower? Did they do the deed, and like a male bee, did he explode after the act? Did he insert his stinger and make her swollen?

You better believe I made as many bee related comments as I could for the rest of the show.

As always, my intent to is to shock you. I want you gasping...

I know. You're an innocent. Don't worry. I will be gentle.

Don't worry. If you have trouble breathing after this, I was trained and certified to slide something down your throat. That is actually true.

I am trained and more skilled than the average man on how to insert my needle into your body and pour salty fluids in. Again, true.

But I also want to make you curious about what I will slide in next.

Curiosity killed the cat? Nah. Curiosity will get the meow meow ready!

Okay. Now that you understand the ground rules here, I will turn up the heat. Safety first!

This is only my third total innuendo post and they say that practice makes perfect.

I know. You're nervous the first time you have it in your hands. It's okay. Just don't use teeth and you really can't do any wrong.

Hey, u/sjnotsj, I told you I would tag you. Here it is.

If you have read my posts and comments, you know I like to cum in with a massive thrust.

Just one more thrust, guys. You're almost in.

Yup. I know what you are thinking about that GIF.

Rewriting Destiny is a garbage buttcheeks bootyhole dirty toilet paper show... But Yubing has my whole heart.

That's right, u/Ateosira, I did your girl dirty again. It's important to let a lady show off her artistic talents. I'd let her paint me like her french boy.

It's okay. I know what you are thinking about right now.

They are eye fucking.

I admit that wasn't one of my strongest GIFs.

Yup. I circled back to her. There is just so much cock here. It's a real sausage fest.

Well, that's it for me. TIme to wrap it up!

Hey. Wanna hear about my most recent incident involving condoms?

Now I turn this over to you to continue! I'm wrapped up in protection and ready for you.

So, I have an idea... Name for me the spiciest drama you know and I may or may not watch it to do a episode discussion series for it... When time and energy permit, of course.

Welcome to the FUCKING FINALLY FREE discussion for Ashes to CRYING Crown. I am AKiceman and I was joined by the most epic and lovely u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule -

Please kindly remember to tag your spoilers if you discuss episodes beyond this post.

SPOIL EVERYTHING NOW!!!!!!!!

Snark Level: Master has given AKiceman the final episode. AKiceman is freeeeee.

Episode 23

We find ourselves watching the Grand Princess riding hard for the frontier to find her missing lover. Alone. She is alone. No servants, no baggage, no supplies. Just her, her horse, and a leaf to make music with. Cinematic, but very stupid. People die in the wilderness due to stupidity, Zhao. She might be dumb, but the soldiers running hard after her are smart-ish. Why don't they have horses? Those men have some serious stamina to catch up to her. They are smart to realize that people die in deserts without supplies. Good boys.

If I ever watch a drama with any of the 3 main villains again, it will be too soon. I haven't been this annoyed and unimpressed in a long time. Heck, even Void Bitch Boy 2ML from LBTG, while annoying as heck to watch, was a damn good actor. The only proper villain in this show is the Northern King. That man is worth the time.

This is the Zhao we have been waiting for.

Damn! She looks good!

Worlds quickest battle ever. Deng Deez Nuts the double agent. Okay, for all of his faults, which are legion, the only redeemable factor about him is that he loves his mother and will protect her no matter what. One good thing in the sea of countless issues. 

Mommy? Hello, mommy? Mommy?

Oooooo! She told him he killed her in her past life! The moron must be very confused right now. 

Hands down best revenge kill scene in awhile.

As promised I GIF'ed his death scene... and in such a way we don't have to see his face too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, I don't hate his guts with a passion of a volcano. Why do you ask?

Zhao tells Deng Deez Nuts that he picked the wrong side, but may die easily as she will look after his mother. The Xiao clan is reduced to commonors and exiled. 

Wait. You're telling me she returned to the Capital... while she suspects that Yanlai might still be alive? The fuck? Ain't no way! 

Speed run recap. Feather Fan Fuckface Xie MASSIVE YAWNfang plots. Zhao visits Liang Qiang in prison to tell him he's filth so he self deletes from life. Zhao plots to win. Deng Deez Nuts confirmed dead so a new regent is needed and Feather Fan is chosen. The upcoming spring hunt is going to be a probable blood bath as both sides plot plotty plots.

Little bro is a boss.

The Most Cute and Precious Little Emperor Yu is a boss getting on a horse. Hey, u/Paisley-Cat I did that for you. 

Zhao is feeling spicy and after exchanging some unimportant words with Feathery Fucker that I really wasn't paying attention to... she straight up asks him why he killed her ally. Ballsy. I like it. He's straight up confessing all. Well, that means the epic showdown is coming very shortly. FFFFXMYF is all like "I was helping you and you're still gonna lose because you have empathy". Zhao claps back with some "I will end you and win because I am a boss". Fearthery waste of time springs his trap and Zhao informs him he will soon regret this. Okay, but hurry up? 

The Most Cute and Precious Little Emperor Yu is no fool and calls out Feathery gross garbage man on his crap. Little bro has daggers for eyes and stands on business for his big sister. However, Yu forgets his balls for a moment and asks Zhao to hand over her command token, but she reassures him it's all in hand.

Or not. Massive Yawn over here took out her secret army. Well, guess it's up to Yanlai to get his butt over here. 

WAS IT REALLY FUCKING NECESSARY TO MAKE MASSIVE YAWN INTO A FUCKING CREEP THIS LATE IN THE SHOW? 

I'm sorry, what the fuck? Zhao turns into a silly character and hands over the command token. 

Oh, wait. Spoke too soon! She slices Massive Yawn with a poison coated dagger. Massive Yawn is dumbfounded that he's so stupid to have underestimated her.

The Most Cute and Precious Little Emperor Yu remembers that he is a man and must protect his big sister. 

Good boy.

Yanlai remembers he is alive and comes in for a dramatic rescue.

Episode 24. The finale. 

A dramatic rescue that we don't get to see? Oh wait. It's one month earlier. Yanlai was saved by Cangmu Stronghold. Nice to see them again. Seems there was nothing left to bury of the Northern King. Shame. I actually liked him.

Ahhhhh so she knew he was alive because he snuck up to push her on their sex swing the previous day. Annnnnnd we get another tightly  held hug. No Kiss? You thought he was dead and no kiss? Rude. "So no head?". 

WAIT!!!!! IF YOUR DUMB ASS KNEW HE WAS ALIVE THEN WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU GIVE THAT TOKEN TO MASSIVE YAWN??????? HOW FUCKING STUPID???????? After all of that.... How can she be so stupid? I have very passionate thoughts about  writers with a level you cannot understand. 

I am flabbergasted right now. Speed run recap. Massive Yawn says he'll spare Zhao if Yanlai slices himself with the poisoned dagger... which he obviously does. So His Feathery Fuckness lets them leave. 

You have no idea how much I want to drop the show right here because of this. 

Soooooooo is this going to turn out all to be a dream to comply with the rebirth restrictions? 

We're doing the bullshit tie his life to mine so we both live trope? Really? 

Good boy Yanlai reminds Zhao she owes him a wish... and he wishes for her to say piss off with your terms to Massive Yawn. 

Are... you... shitting... me? No, seriously. Are you shitting me? She breaks her promise? 

ARE YOU SHITTING ME??????? SHE BECOMES HIS PUPPET???? What the heck has happened??? Please tell me she was lying about the poison or something and she is waiting for him to die before she makes her move? Or something? Surely she didn't suck this hard at planning? She can't be this dumb right? 

Xie wants to eliminate the Chu Clan because of course he does. 

The Most Cute and Precious Little Emperor Yu is sus of Zhao now and orders her confined. Yet why do I suspect little bro is playing a role here?

I am not focused right now because my nerve spasmed so hard I almost started crying. 

Emperor Yu announces to the court that it's his time to shine and for Zhao to take a step back.  This is actually a great way to remove her from power so her puppet status is moot. 

Emperor Big Boy Yu announces an edict stating that Dead Daddy General and Xhu Zhao have been the most loyal and boss level people ever and they are all that and a bag of chips. Yu then trashes Xie hard and exposes his dirty laundry. All ranks and titles, lands, money of the clan are confiscated. Men are executed and women exiled. Emperor Yu delivers this bold speech in a clear and powerful manner, truly shining as an example of pure badassery. 

Big sister and Little bro look over the palace in triumph as the Xie name is destroyed for all eternity. 

Chu Zhao embodies Duke Su as she goes to remind Massive Yawn she is all powerful. 

Xiao Heng, is that you?

Xiang mention again. What even is the point of that kid? I never really understood it. He's dead? Okay so what was the point of the kid? 

Massive Yawn is all preening that no matter what Zhao does, Yanlai will die. Zhao flips the script and Yanlai gives us his aura as he enters the room looking very healthy.  "How are you alive?" asks someone on his deathbed. "Because this is all a trap for you" says a very satisfied Yanlai. 

The poisoned dagger had a gold side and a silver side. Gold has poison. Silver was clean. Zhao explains that they need to use the Xie Clan Power to keep the kingdom stable until The Most Cute and Precious Little Big Boy Emperor Yu can fully take control. So she had instructed her frontier troops to feign submission as well, but it seems she did not expect to lose the secret Longwei Army though. I guess they are actually dead. Sad. 

Such a good scene and callback to Yanlai teaching her.

Massive Yawn admits defeat and burns himself to death as he fans himself with his stupid fan.

Are we literally riding off into the sunset? They are going to guard the frontier together and Yanlai asks Zhao to marry him. Kiss kiss smooching time.

I'd fold like a lawn chair.

Ending narration says The Grand Princess withdrew into seclusion due to illness. We see a cute kid in armor helping another cute kid learn to walk. Sure looks like they've been making babies around here.

Zhao and Yanlai spend a lot of time riding horses in the desert. 

Roll Credits.

Well, what about the whole rebirth? Was that real? I thought it couldn't be real anymore? Did the rules get changed? Was she truly reborn into this life? The show flat out said she was. I am shocked!

For anyone wonder how she was able to get married and have kids, just look at who the Emperor is. He adores his big sister and would quickly grant her marriage to Yanlai for them to be together. The whole "illness" thing is probably just a cover for the busybodies that would care. 

Overall, a hot mess of a drama. Wouldn't rewatch... But damn! CDL and ZRY did a damn fine job together.

Thank you to u/Thezoeyy for hosting with me! You are a knight in shining armor!

See you all on the next one!

Welcome to the discussion for Ashes to CRYING Crown. I am AKiceman and I am joined by u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule

Please kindly remember to tag your spoilers if you discuss episodes beyond this post.

Express post by Automod is live now. I will pop into it after I finish the show. I am getting bent over at work each day so I am not finishing as fast as I would prefer. Zoeyy and I are planning a big final post at the end. As of this post going live I am in episode 22.

Snark Level: Shit. Did I leave the stove on? Wait... I am meant to be paying attention to this show? Whoops.

Episode 20

So Badass Bandit Girl is now the Imperial Guard Commander which I am now realizing that is who they were talking about last episode. I am very smart, guys! I pay big attention here.

General Liang is a wee bit of a dumbass, if you ask me. I sure ain't drinking some sus ass drink being sent to a tavern from Feather Fan Fuckface Xie MASSIVE YAWNfang. Especially while he is standing there with his feather fan and his fuckface across the way, toasting you with another cup. It just feels... sketch.

So I am going to ignore the "woe is me" and other scheming stuff from Feather Fan Fuckface Xie MASSIVE YAWNfang and instead focus on the fact that he did seem to be concerned for the safety of Yanlai on his journey to the frontier. Like, did I feel that vibe right? That actually seemed like he... cared? I need your opinion on that. It felt quite different to his usual boringness.  

HOLY SHIT!!!!! DO NOT GET BETWEEN YANLAI AND THE PASTRIES ZHAO MADE FOR HIM!!!!!!

Lord Chen? Is that you? DADDY!!!!!

I love how he protects the pastries from blood before slicing.

I'll even GIF you a shorter slice.

Stopppp. I can only get so erect!

One Dimensional Douchecanoe Xun is talking about finding Xiang to have something over Yanlai. I wrote that because that is my duty as host. Otherwise I wouldn't bother talking about such a waste of space shitbag character. 

Zhao is putting some work on eating that pastry... Hot damn... I'll be a good boy and NOT GIF it and make innuendos...

^(EDITING NOTE: While I was proofreading this I accidentally misread pastry as— Nevermind.)

I am a very bad boy.

I failed to not GIF it. I really did try. I really really really did try to be a good boy.

Anyways, Feather Fan Fuckface Xie MASSIVE YAWNfang is all like "Girl, you should totally crush everyone and make the court your bitch" to which Zhao is like "Boy, you scheme big for a little pissant".

Alright, so lets bring in the thunder and lightning for this court scene where Zhao is asking about Zheng Xia, a pupil of Deng Deez Nuts. He's some random ass clerk in some random ass place who was accused of selling Imperial Exam Questions. Last time Zhao had asked about this case she was told there was going to be a retrial later... only now this dude is headed for the neck chopping block. Zhao is like "yall are dumb and scared so I am taking over". A fresh faced Censor, Zhu Yong, speaks up and gives Zhao the evidence she needs to order the retrial. Taadaa!!!! His mentor later scolds him saying "boy you dumb. She doesn't care about this shiz. She just trying to further her own goals, you silly dumb dumb". Yes. He for sure said all of those words exactly like that. I swear I didn't add my own silliness to it. I am a professional.

Imperial Guard Commander Bandit Girl storms the prison like a badass and threatens to slice and dice anyone who gets in her way as she retrieves Zheng. It's giving "It's treason then". IYKYK.

His Feather Fan Fuckfaceness is being super chill about all of this as his servant, for lack of a better way to say it, is freaking the fuck out over the raid. His Feathery Fuckness is like "Bro, chill. She's in boss bitch mode and the more cray cray she makes things for Deng Deez Nuts the better it is for us". 

Deng Deez Nuts is bitching to Zhao that she is making a mockery of the law with her wild Imperial Guard rampage. Zhao is all "you're a pot calling kettle black over here with your disregard for justice, ya hoe". He then whines that he is the Regent because some old dead guy said so. Zhao doesn't care for his flex and flexes harder than she is the Grand Princess. He flounces off like the little bitch he is. 

Bandit Girl turned Imperial Guard Commander Mu Xiaoman comes to the Court to present the investigation results to The Most Cute and Precious Little Emperor Yu. Zhao gloats to the incompetent Ministers that this case wasn't that had to solve and sends a verbal barb towards Deng Deez Nuts that all the culprits were his men. Emperor Yu backs Zhao and demands complete ass cleaning. 

Deng Deez Nuts reminds us that the rich and powerful think they are above the law and should be allowed to break it for their own benefits. Man. His nuts are stinky. There is a bad Musk about them. Phew! Someone introduce him to some soap. 

Now we have to cut to Feather Fan Fuckface who is busy abusing a lizard with his fan. His servant is asking more dumb questions and FFF is doing that same chill answering thing again. I feel like I have seen this a million times already. I almost deleted this paragraph because it's so boring and why bore you guys by reminding you about that boring scene?

SPEED RUN RECAP! Yanlai does soldier stuff. Tang writes a letter to tell the viewers that Zhao is super popular. Pretty Blue Dress Lady tells Zhao that the Imperial Guards are the Boogeymen parents use to keep kids in line. This is going to be apparently fixed by scholars creating a canopy to thank Zhao for being a great lady. 

The Most Cute and Precious Emperor Yu thinks this is the bees knees and stands adorably on a stool to inspect the canopy. 

I'm probably supposed to be paying attention to this latest Feathery Fucky scene and long ass talk... But I am not interested. So I will just keep winging it. I'll just have a little existential crisis to pass the time.

Okay. So let me get this right. Zhao is also secretly plotting with Deng Deez Nuts to make their animosity towards each other be as real as possible to guard against Feather Fan boring ass guy and take him down. Nutty boi is like "what if I make it real and try to CTL-ALT-DEL you from this world?" because of course he would. Zhao tells him to try if he wants to because she is gonna clap back hard to ensure this all looks perfect to Fan Boi. 

Well, that maid is an idiot! 

Girl. Why is you dumb?

Short reaction version for my favorite GIF stealers. You are always welcome to save and use my GIFs. Spread my snarky teachings to the world!

Her anger is so hot.

The episode ends with Zhao going outside to cry and pray to the moon for her lovers safe return.

"I like the moon, but the moon doesn't know", anyone?

Well, slap some fingers to keys and tell me what you thought of the episode! Or at least, what you thought of what you were paying attention to. Yeah, I know how we are watching this.

Hey, Zoeyy! You are the best! We're almost there!

Welcome to the discussion for Ashes to CRYING Crown. I am AKiceman and I am joined by u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule

Please kindly remember to tag your spoilers if you discuss episodes beyond this post.

Snark Level: I need a drink.

Episode 18

Well, we might as well open up the episode with Imaginary Kid and Feather Fan Fuckface Xie MASSIVE YAWNfang. I will forgive this lackluster opening since they are praising Zhao for her brilliance. 

This Mr. Jing may be a new character, but he is repeating the same old scene we have seen a million times in this show. Welcome to another misogynist douchebag. Have no fear! Chu Tang is right behind him! She says women are badass! He says stupid words. She says "bet" and challenges him to a little competition right then and there!

"What could you possibly learn from a woman?" Boy.... 

She's so proud of herself!

Well, she sure shows him with her Go skills and Calligraphy!

I am soooo using this one against my favorite constant commentator. ;)

I'm gonna pretend that I didn't see Deng Deez Nuts there... I don't want to be annoyed this early in the episode.

Okay, so. Yanlai is questioning this old servent about whether this Xiang kid made it out alive from that fire incident. Here is my question? What's the point? We have been given hints that this kid might still be alive and might maybe possibly be doing some scheming behind the scenes. Why? With 6 more episodes to come, why are we just now really starting to get into this? Are we so stagnant with our other plots that we need something "new" to pop up? Yes. Yes, we are. 

We're turning cowardly Uncle Chu into a teacher to instruct the next generation? Are we sure about this? 

Okay. Seriously? Again? Even after Jing gets his butt whipped by Tang, this other officials son thinks he just just arrogantly call women useless? My dear, please educate his ass. I mean, really? This fuckface thinks it's a good idea to be sprouting this level of bullshit at an event hosted by the motherfucking Grand Princess? The same Grand Princess that is wholly protected by her own achievements... AND THE MOTHERFUCKING EMPEROR??? YOU REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD GET ON HER SHIT LIST??? .... I am a calm Snark Shifu....

Oh, excuse me. I must use his full title here. 

The Most Cute and Precious Little Emperor of all time Yu. <3

One Dimensional Douchecanoe Xun gets a letter from Daddy POS Douche which says to be chill. He's not feeling very chill and is going to write a letter to Deng Deez Nuts. 

Zhao gives this boring ass villain, Deng Deez Nuts, an ancient CD-ROM. Did I just give away my age there?

She is after his opinion of promoting Yanlai to Guard General. Deng Deez Nuts questions if Xie is a Xie and what Xie would do if Xie asked him to choose between Xie and Zhao.

Same, girl. Same. We love a confident lady.

Deng Deez Nuts is like "girl, why you testing me?" while Feather Fan Fuckface Xie MASSIVE YAWNfang is all "she sees me as a rival but lol I have an ace up my sleeve. Both "men" have plots to use One Dimensional Douchecanoe Xun to their advantage in one way or another. 

Bandit Girl turned Palace Maid in Disguise is clumsy and adorable. 

Ahhhh. We are back to the cargo mark that that one servant of ODDX accidentally used on the cargo. The truth lurks just out of reach. Yanlai is sniffing it out. 

We are treated to a badass aura entrance from The Grand Princess as she arrives at One Dimensional Douchecanoe Xun's house. Wait, sorry. That's his fancy jail cell because he's a douchecanoe.

Don't worry. You don't have to look at his face.

Zhao does some epic taunting and reminds him to be a good boy. She gets under his skin like a splinter and lodges herself deep inside. 

Chu Tang and Chu Zhao, aka The Chew You Up Cousins, have a little girl bonding walk and talk while they discuss if Grand Mentor Deng Deez Nuts will actually appoint Yanlai to Guard General. 

Zhao presses this issue in Court and Deng Deez Nuts actually gives a small compliment to Zhao in a rather backhanded way that still reeks of misogyny. What a dick. Really? Deng Deez Nuts is really pushing the "disobey Imperial Orders" line? I think there is a certain Little Emperor sitting in that room who simply has to say "Yanlai was acting on my secret orders" and all is well. Lets not make a mountain out of a molehill here. 

Well, Yanlai has snuck back into the Capital so he clearly has some big lead. We wait for this big reveal. 

Zhao calls Feather Fan Fuckface for his covering up the fact that Yanlai didn't burn down Wei Village. His Fuckfaceness quickly starts to lose his cool as we see his eyes start to quiver. Zhao treats us to the most gorgeous shit eating smirk as she reads him for the filth he is. Fuckface decides to activate more cringe face as she walks off. 

Zhao is so Big Sister Mommy as she tucks The Most Cute and Precious Little Emperor Yu into bed as she comforts him that she will protect Yanlai... Who is ready to meet her by their sex swing swing.

Gorgeous!

You know, between this and TFJ, I am getting fed on face touches and I am a satisfied Snark Shifu. 

Yanlai may have struck out on finding that poison bloodburn pill... buuuuut he did find out that Feather Fan Fuckface is using a medicine to keep a child alive. We will be so shocked to learn who this child is, I am sure. Did you guess Xiang? Yup. Me too. 

So, they reason out that One Dimensional Douchcanoe Xun is conspiring with the Northern King to frame up Cangmu Stronghold to sus out her mother and expose her Northern Desert General origins which would also have implicated her Dead Daddy General. The truth is leaking out. The final confrontation is gearing up. 

Yanlai says "Be cool, girl, or they will implicate you" because he is a caring lover.

Zhao says "but you've earned merit" because she is a caring lover.

Yanlai makes us swoon by saying "I only want to live long enough to keep one person safe" and hearts everywhere flutter! Editing Note: Rereading that.... Yeah, that line scares me.

Well, bring out the tease! Yanlai leans in... Zhao leans in and closes her eyes... Yanlai.... picks a leaf out of her hair.... Bruh. Zhao is adorably flustered. 

"Will you ever lie to me?".... "I would never". Yeah I am concerned now. 

Well, no kiss... But we did get another really tight hug so there is that! 

Hey? Remember that Liang Qiang guy from awhile ago? No, not him. Nope, not that guy either. Yes! That guy! You know, kind of shifty? Well, Deng Deez Nuts is like "Please, mommy, let me appoint him" and Zhao is like "LOL you wish". Deng Deez Nuts does what a fucker does when he can't win against a logical argument made by a woman and resorts to being a sexist fucker.

Yanlai bursts in with that aura and pledges to Emperor  Yu that he will take the Northern Kings head in 6 months or suffer military law. Bruh... 

Bro is always a vibe.

Zhao looks a little surprised and unhappy at this. Little Emperor grants his request and declares him as the Guard General. 

Well, shit.

Roll Credits.

I really need to come up with an endearing term for you, my beloved commenters.

Let me have it! This is a safe space for your opinions on this drama. I don't bite.

Welcome to the discussion for Ashes to CRYING Crown. I am AKiceman and I am joined by the most excellent and amazing u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule

Please kindly remember to tag your spoilers if you discuss episodes beyond this post.

Side note: Bruh. Did they seriously change the create post layout??? What is this? I hate it.... Or do I like it better? Hmmmm. WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP CLICKING "ADD TO BODY" MY GIFS???? I HATE THIS UPDATE!!!! My fingers hurt so much right now. :P

Double side note: This post is far later than I wanted. It seems life decided to kick me a double blow Friday evening and I did not have the heart to watch or write. My sincere apologies for making you wait for my unhinged self. On the bright side, it did allow me to tap into my deeper snark reserves for this episode...

Oh, hey! Express on the 17th!

Snark Level: Return of The Snark Shifu.

Snark Level: The Snark is Strong with this one.

Snark Level: Attack of the Snark.

Snark Level: The Snark Awakens.

Unhinged is a good way to describe this post. You have been warned.

Episode 16 - - -

There is a villian on my screen and I have no idea who he is. Lets use context clues... Okay he is being called "your highness" so this must be Douchecanoe. Cool. Quick recap because who cares? Douchecanoe continues his douchecanoe ways... Insults Zhao..... thinks he's hot shit..... is shocked but happy Chu Lan vanished.... sends men to find him.... Moving on!

The dumbass Court Ministers and Deng Deez Nuts start to maybe consider that they are stupid and Douchecanoe is actually coming to usurp their butts. 

Yo. Anyone else getting a massive ick watching Feather Fan Fuckface Xie MASSIVE YAWNfang holding The Most Cute and Precious Little Emperor of all time Yu's hand? Yeah. Gross. Mild gasp. FFFFXMY wants to have a child lead the army in this campaign. 

Oh? The game must finally yield a victor? YEAH NO SHIT SHERLOCK! We've long grown bored with this. 

Well, the Chu's get caught. Hmmm, Chu Tang seems to be doing a good job at acting meek. I see that steel in your eyes, my dear. 

Okay. No. Just no. The level of revulsion just watching Douchecanoe leer in that slimy bad acting shithole of a failed attempt at being a compelling villain made me almost vomit my dinner up. I wish I were kidding. My stomach lurched with disgust. 

Enough with the villains already. They literally ruin this show. Full stop. I have literally nothing good to say about any of them. Literally.

As we finally move on to more interesting scenes, we get Zhao playing Go with Daddy Douchecanoe as they discuss how Zhao is using Chu Lan as her blade against douchecanoe Xun. The father is slightly more interesting as a villain, but still falls into the same boring old seen it a million times nothing new and still gross as shit and not worth the eye power I am using to view him cliche. 

Anyways, Zhao hints she still has an ace up her sleeve, to which Daddy Douche says "LOL. Chu Tang will succumb to my son's charms just like you did".  Ew! As if! 

This is going to take me all evening... I keep pausing because I cannot take more than a few seconds of Douchecanoe...  Chu Tang is doing a damn good job at acting a meekish miss. Anytime now she can show her fangs and I will be oh so happy!

THAT'S IT!!!!!! NAME CHANGE!!!!!!!! Xiao Xun is no longer Douchecanoe Xun. He is now One Dimensional Douchecanoe Xun because there is literally no depth to this character. It's just pure scum that never changes. It's the same fucking act every scene. It's the same scene every time he's on the screen. Nothing changes. There is nothing new to watch if you have seen even just one scene of him.

There is a reason you haven't seen a single GIF from me yet this post..... THERE IS NOTHING NEW OR INTERESTING HAPPENING!!! 

Anyways... Chu Tang "agrees" to send a letter to Zhao asking her to be a good girl and not harm Daddy Douche. 

Daddy Douche is still super duper convinced his fuckboy son will win the tender heart of Chu Tang. Zhao redoubles her LOL at him and says "bet".  

Sure, sure. One Dimensional Douchecanoe Xun is totally handing her poison to use against Zhao. Press X to doubt. It's going to be a fake out. The script writers will pull that old trope of her using it against him and it will turn out to be fake... calling it now... in 3....2....1... Oh look. I was wrong. We are instead treated to One Dimensional Douchecanoe Xun sussing out that she had a dagger up her sleeve. We are further treated to some seriously bad acting all around where he tries to scare her and force her to stab her father who... Yeah you saw that scene... You know what I am not saying right now.

It reminds me of that scene from Born With Luck when that one character is driving off the cliff and gives the most fake shocked face of all time...

Thankfully we are saved from this massacre of our self respect by the first scene of this episode worthy of being GIF'ed.

Thank you.

Damn! Chu Tang moves fast! She only just received a marriage proposal a few minutes ago and is already introducing One Dimensional Douchecanoe Xun to bondage! Kinky! This is his best look yet!

Tang is brilliant. Even after she fully reveals her hand she still plays the innocent victim of her circumstances. 

OH SHE SLAPPED HIM!!!!! INCOMING GIF!!!!!

So hot!

I know I am breaking my promise to only GIF him when we get his hopefully soon death scene, if it happens... But c'mon! I had to! It's so beautiful!

"I slapped him to burn the bridge because the title was tempting". Oh honey. You are damn good! You are so good at making yourself seem a weak little woman wholly controlled by Zhao. It's brilliant! It's fucking brilliant! I fully adore Chu Tang! 

Hot damn! Between ATC and TFJ, we are getting FED with amazing women! 

OH SHE DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!!

Keep it coming!

AND NOW THE MAID IS ON THE ACTION TOO!!!! OH FUCK ME YES DADDY PLEASE MORE!!!!!!!!

This is so good!

Halfway into the episode, Yanlai finally speaks! Bro is being a good boy and figuring out that Zhao is waiting for now that Feather Fan Fuckface Xie MASSIVE YAWNfang has brought Yu to the battlefield.

More importantly, Zhao is nibbling a pastry.

Zhao does some flirty blinking and Yanlai succumbs to her like a very smart man. 

I'd fold so fast for her and I am not ashamed. Intelligent women are my weakness.

Holy shit! Yall see the numbers in that army scene? That looks like a whole army instead of three men in a trench coat cosplaying as an army. Very impressive for this limited budget vertical drama we are watching. Oh? This isn't a vertical drama? Could have fooled me. 

Daddy Douche is sulking behind his curtains again because his douchecanoe son got captured by Tang. He decides to court death by saying "whatever if you kill him, I'll name you crown princess to join him in the afterlife" because he is stupid. Yanlai remembers he comes from the Lord Chen School of "Don't fuck with my lady" and pulls his sword on Daddy Douche. Zhao allows herself a few seconds to admire her man before inserting her calming presence back into the mix. 

We love a woman who admires her man.

Daddy Douche thinks he's hot shit because he doesn't care about his son. Zhao decides to shred his entire self worth by informing him that between her and the Emperor, they will eradicate his good name and entire clan. Daddy Douche seems to realize misogyny can kick you in the butt. 

Hmmmmm. So Zhao basically is offering his surrender to mean they go back to the status quo and give him a Prince of State title for being a good boy. Boring. 

Look. I appreciate that Zhao is trying to prevent needless war. Doom, death, and destruction will only come with war. But I also find myself annoyingly agreeing with the Court of Old Ass Men with the fact that treason needs to be punished... Ahhhh but Zhao has the best of all arguments and tickles hard into Deng Deez Nuts with the feather of truth. Yeah. I'd follow her.

So much fun watching One Dimensional Douchecanoe Xun realize he got sold out by Daddy Douche. Yeah, boy. Zhao is coming for you. Off to the Capital he goes. Finally he realizes, a wee bit late, to not underestimate Chu Zhao. This does not sit well with him.

Roll Credits!

Well, you know what to do! Share your opinions and let us bask in the brilliance of our leads being amazing and gorgeous together!

Welcome to the discussion for Ashes to Crown. I am AKiceman and I am joined by u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks. Still very thankful they rescued me here.

Or should I say... Ashes to Crying? Thank you, u/LobsterSpunk for that name. I can't believe I am writing out your username... I am flabbergasted at how awesome your name is. Well done.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule

Please kindly remember to tag your spoilers if you discuss episodes beyond this post.

Snark Level: Today, I am a Silly Goose.

Fucking epic!

Episode 14

Damn. Yanlai is going all the way all out with his apology tour here. Kind of extreme, bro. Like, it's cool that you take your inadvertent role in General Daddy's death seriously... but bruh. You did nothing wrong.

Sheeeeesh. General Dead Daddy with the epic entrance in this flashback of their first meeting. I wish we had gotten to see more of him in his General Prime. Dude had aura. 

Seriously? It's General Uncle with the rescue? Zhao can't drag herself off her teenage tantrum ass to save her lover? OH HERE SHE IS! FINALLY! C'mon! Give me something good to GIF! 

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Really tying the past and the present together well.

Yooooo right after that when she turned around to look at Yanlai, did yall notice the extra on the right pick and scratch his nose? Then his eyes darted left and right constantly like he was checking if anyone noticed! HA! Sir, I did notice.

OH NOW YOU ASK IF HE INTENDED TO KILL DADDY! SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE ASKED THAT FIRST??? BEFORE YOU SHOT HIM??? Yo, I am just saying... Yanlai is looking at her like he is going to be the extra most extra loyal guy of all time even more than before. Extra.

Damn, Zhao. Look at you defend him! WHERE WAS THIS LOGIC THE OTHER NIGHT WHEN YOU SHOT HIM WITH AN ARROW? 

Bro... you are getting your blood all over her nice white dress.... Hmmmm.... Can I make an innuendo about a bloodthirsty warrior tainting the innocence of the noble princess? I'll just gloss over how many people the innocent princess has killed herself... Shouldn't the blood be coming from—NOPE!!! Stopping myself right there.

He's like a little puppy trying to get as close as possible with her.

Convenient outlet for grief and fury is a funny term of endearment for the only man in your life who has never lied to you and also has backed you up constantly at the risk of his life... Yeahhhhh why would you give that guy THE BENEFIT OF THE MOTHERDUCKING DOUBT????? Quack.

YES...YOU...SHOULD...THANK..HIM...FOR....DUCKS....SAKE!!!!!!!!!! Quack quack. 

You know, I wanna make an innuendo about Zhao grief shoving the pastries in her mouth as she reads the letter... It'd be something about shoving that P word in her mouth... Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I am not going to do so! Heck! I could even say something silly about how he has to pat her back and totally call her a good girl in his head after she chokes on that massive.... Pastry.

I am such a bad boy.

But I will make a quick GIF because I seem to have a habit of GIF'ing women eating pastries in CDramas. I really dunno why, actually. I blame Jinzhao. She was so adorable nibbling on that pasty in ASM.

Maybe I should mention that one of my coping mechanisms is dirty or dark humor... Haaaa...... Yes, I have been told I should go to therapy.

HEY!!!! IT'S THE DUAL PERSONALITY AGAIN!!!! Back to the chess board! I am so happy to see her alter ego again. Chen Dual Ling!!!!! Yes, it's a silly joke... but it works. 

...I would let both of them wreck me and say \"Thank you. More please\".

Why are these peasants being so casual with The Grand Princess and calling her Miss Chu? OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!! Nahhhh, I kid.

Okay. So. Right. Okay. You're telling me it is again the 19 year old girl, with the assist from Lover Boy, who senses the enemy trap THAT NONE OF THESE OLDER PROFESSIONAL SOLDIERS EVEN CONSIDERED??? Okay. Woo! Woman power! xD But it does make a good excuse to bring the Cangmu Stronghold back into the frey. They need a new Lady Leader now and her being the daughter does seem fitting. 

"Go. And stay alive. This is no military order. This is my order". Bruh. Hit me in the feels why don't you? She knows what she is sending him to do. It's this tender way she sends him off and fulfills her role as Grand Princess while still making it damn clear to him that he is basically everything to her. Not bad for a couple where a certain someone shot an arrow at the other just a few days prior. No, I am not going to let that go.

Oh, just bone already.

Say, is bro riding off... to battle... WITHOUT ANY ARMOR???? AGAIN???? Oiiii..... How stupid can you get? You trying to be cool? You know what's cool? Safety!

How nice of the Princess to give his whistle a little blow as he leaves for war. Hehe. Rude that he didn't turn around again.

Ugh. Back to Feather Fan Fudgeface YAWNfang. BORING!!!! I probably should be watching what he is saying but I am too busy typing this. Long story short, he wants to keep an eye on Douchecanoe Xun since he will probably make a move soon. As I said. Boring.

FINALLY WE GET THE PACING AND ANXIOUS ZHAO WAITING FOR HER MAN TO RETURN! Of course I will GIF it for you.

She really is gorgeous.

Damn. Those neck shots were brutal. Ouch. Well, now this ain't gonna be good. Hmmmm. So the baddies are going to swap the victory news to news of defeat to scare the Capital? Trying to get Zhao punished? What's the play here? 

Awwwww! Look at this cute Emperor! Adore this kid! 

Ahhhhhh. I see now. The "threat" means that they have perfect cause for an army to come to the Capital. Easy way to rebel. So it's a plot to destroy Douchecanoe Xun then. 

Of all the boring and useless waste of time villains, Feather Fan Fudgeface is at least the most logical and interesting to watch. 

Emperor again being a cute little smart ruler. Adorable! This kid has aura! 

Deng Deez Nuts is clearly NOT a military genius. If the Capital already has 50K soldiers inside... That is a helluva lot of manpower to defend a fortified city. Station the potential traitors on the outside and send them like a freight train at the enemy. Pull a Ramsey Bolton from GOT and hit them hard before they even dig in. If that fails, you still have an entire army inside the walls. Deng Deez Nuts is either stupid or a traitor. Orrrrrrr, as we know, both. But what do I know? I'm just a guy at a keyboard. 

Do the Emperor and Fudgeface not see the clearly obvious poking above the screen head piece of Deez Nuts? Bruh. Ain't no way. Setting him up, perhaps? 

I want to vomit having to watch Douchecanoe Xun. He's disgusting and not even worth anything good. Like, the amount of cringe ick coming from this waste of time is insane. Everything about him drips of low budget, poorly written, wannabe tough guy but actually just full of dog doo doo. It reeks of a toddler playing dress up and trying to act like a gangsta. Soooooo kudos to the actor for making such a scummy villain  be such a pathetic and disgusting meat sack to have to endure? I will not GIF him so I don't cause you fine viewers any more pain and suffering then you already endure with him. I promise you that the only time I will even consider making a GIF of him is his death scene, if we get one. 

Oh so smart of you to commit the very treason you knew they were setting you up for. So smart. Well, no way you can talk your way out of this. You are done. Your only option is to survive and win. But since you are the dumbass villain in a CDrama... you will die! Good riddance. Can we fast forward to his demise now?

It seems he is about to get a lesson. Quack.

https://i.redd.it/ooe4u1essl6h1.gif

Well, roll credits!

Slap me with your opinions and call me a good boy. Oh! Fun story! I was on the phone today as I was getting off work and I was commenting that I was such a good boy for doing something right while I was in the process of closing my backpack. Sooooo the person on the phone call says "I do not need to hear you call yourself a good boy with the very obvious sound of a zipper happening". HA!!! I about died laughing.

OH! HERE WE GOOOOOO!!!!!! IT'S TIME TO BE UNHINGED!!!

Here is the first post for the new flair!

Of course I am opening with my lady, Tian Xi Wei.

Well, here we are. u/No-Recipe-7653 once asked me to create a post where I shared all the spicy GIFs I'd made from Generation to Generation. Well, I delivered... and then was asked to create a monthly post where we all can share our favorite spicy scenes from dramas and discuss like a bunch of innocent and modest redditors. So before I slide in with my crowd pleaser, let me warm you up first.

It is June 9th. 6/9. Hey, know what 6.9 is? >!A good time ruined by a period! !<

Did I choose this day for the first post so I could make 69 jokes? Yes. Yes I did. I wonder what I could do for March 4th...

Anyways... Lets fully insert ourselves into this.

Come here and let me seduce you.

A very important part of an innuendo is having the right amount of dick in it. So says I! Because I am a man and have a dick! Let me mansplain here.

Dick makes life.

Dick is life. Dick is love. What? You don't know Richard? Rude.

Moving on.

Now, I did share this GIF in that first post I made...

They just had to know what this looked like, right?

So, obviously the comment I made was that blowing Lord Chen's whistle got her a facial. Now when we add in this GIF below from Late To The Night... Dear oh dear.

Boom! Face shot!

Dunno why I made this GIF.... Hmmmm... xD. If you figure it out, let me know.

Work it, Ma'am! Clean those teeth!

Sometimes I worry that this post creating stuff is too hard for me.

I am a very busy man and I try my hardest for you.

But reading smut can help you learn many things. I constantly impress women with the knowledge I gather from reading smut.

My bookshelves are filled with romance... and smut.

But when someone finds out what you read.... It really can get a little awkward sometimes...

I have no shame. I have a collection of dicks on my shelves. No, really. I do.

Oh well. I just have to bring out the lady pleaser....

I will never forget the look on her face when she saw it for the first time. I had to reassure her....

Now, time for some meat! Some man meat! With a good white sauce. Oh? This must mean it is time to bring out my GIF from Rewriting Destiny. Let me break it down for you.

The FL chokes on his meat and is rewarded with white liquid in her mouth.

Dude treats her better than her own husband.

My thoughts after finishing this post.

Sick in the head.... Sick in the head...

Well, that is it for now. I need to save some in reserve for next month! You wouldn't want me to blow my entire load this quickly, right? Though that does remind me of the last lady I rescued... To say I blew her mind is an understatement. But a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.

I am currently thinking I will make this a first of the month type post, but we shall see!

I stayed up to post this at 12:01am on 6/9 just to make jokes. I'm going to bed before Recipe comes up with another great idea to get me filled with more responsibilities!

Welcome to the discussion for Ashes to Crown. I am AKiceman and I am joined by u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule

Please kindly remember to tag your spoilers if you discuss episodes beyond this post.

Well, it looks like we are continuing the 1 episode a day release through the 14th! Woohoo, says the overworked host, much to the disappointment of the eager audience.

Somehow we have ended up posting for the SVIP release? I really don't know how this happened.... In my defense... I am many many many many many hours behind China... But I do this in the brief moments I have time to watch, write, GIF, edit, and post. Thank you for bearing with me.

Also, I am messing around with how I create and edit GIFs so they may look different. I am trying to get you the best quality GIF I can.

Snark Level: This episode may rot in hell.

Episode 12

Alright, we open on a flashback with the Old Dead Emperor who is still Young Alive Emperor here. Seems like the other young man here is Young General Daddy. In his very first battle he meets a woman surnamed Alan from the enemy forces and woohoo I see where this is going! In a reversal of my new favorite trope, she hands him a bone whistle, while he hands her a peace tolken. Hehe. I can still make "blowing whistle" innuendos here. He can still put his lips on and blow. Though that is actually a bad idea as blowing air up a certain thing can actually kill a lady. Actually. This is actual factual.

The more you know!!!

Hey! Kind of rude we didn't get to see his rescue of her from execution! So rude. That's how Mu Mianhong came about. 

And that, kids, is how I met your mother.

Well, Young Alive Douchebag Emperor demanded her execution, but would allow for the child to live. Young General Daddy loses half his balls and only plunges his sword into the floor in front of the Emperor, instead of into the idiots heart as he should have. This is how we got to the whole Cangmu Stronghold and cliff jumping story. 

Chu Zhao is rather unwilling to accept this story. "Your hands are soaked in blood. You are not fit to be my mother". Honey... I know this is a shock for you... but have you checked your hands recently? How many have you killed now? How many deaths lay at your feet? Do you dare to blame those on her because you followed the lies of your father to the Capital to follow in the footsteps of the fake mother they created? 

Well, now we know why the mother left... and dare I say it was a damn good reason? Literally the Emperor ordered her death. It was for Zhao's own safety that she never knew. I don't like it, but I fully understand it. 

Madam Ge backtracks and says she's not mommy and that Daddy is muddled in an  obvious lie to placate her mentally spiraling daughter. Zhao is a little peeved that she has been lied to her whole life. 

Zhao continues her teenage tantrum on the sand dunes as Yanlai comes along to speak words of wisdom to her and counsel her to spend what little time left there is with her father. 

So we see Feather Fan Xie YAWNfang learning that Deng Deez Nuts has approved that frontier report. Grinning, he turns to Cute Emperor Yu and says he will teach him how to turn a mans own weapon against him. Then the scene changes to seeing Liang Qiang again. Coincidence? I think not. LQ confides to a buddy congratulating him that he has a benefactor. He comments that the Grand Princess is no ordinary woman. Hmmm, a bit of misdirection here? 

Kitchen Scene: Part Two. Only this time Zhao is still very upset and Yanlai is busy being a very supportive and caring shadow. 

I hate how this turned out. Yuck. I really messed this one up. Couldn't even get the crop right! Gah.

She falls asleep in his arms and he carries her to bed.

Ahhh this is better.

Bro tucks her in and even takes off her shoes! Feet Fetish Folks rejoice! He's busy tending to her when mommy comes in with medicine. 

Sleeping Beauty appears to be faking it while Yanlai asks Mommy why she refuses to admit that she loved General Daddy but was forced apart from him. Mommy Dearest blames her origin, saying that neither Father or Daughter can have a wife/mother from the Northern Dessert. Well, that's some bullsheet! 

Damnnnn! Yanlai ain't taking this without a fight! He pursues Mommy and asks her if she has regrets. "She is inside, shattered, inconsolable". He ain't gonna let this lady get away easy or clean from this. He's twisting the dagger of words into her heart. 

Mommy Dearest hands him a hairpin that was supposed to be given to Zhao at her coming of age party, asking that he say it's a gift from him. Well, there appears to be more to the story here.

Yo! Give us the scoop!

So Douchecanoe Xun is going to blame the slaughter of the remaining Northern Soldiers on Zhao and is pissed at his servant for putting an official mark on some hidden goods. He seems to be hinting that the Wei Village fire is a result of another servant screw up here. He's also looking for a village boy named Xiang. 

General Daddy is reaching the end here and he asks Zhao to let him have a proper farewell with her mother. 

"We swore we would never meet again, and now, we never shall". I'm not crying... You're the one crying. I'm not writing or GIF'ing any of this. That was some painful stuff. 

Digging through his desk, Zhao finds a little jade looking knickknack with the Xie Family Crest. There appears to be a white powder in it. The doctor says it's poison.  Apparently, General Daddy was struck by a poisoned arrow and took a strange pill to fight it. Oh, no... Don't tell me it was given by—DAMN IT!!!! Soooo she reasons that because in this life Yanlai was held in the Capital to be the Commander, he wouldn't have been able to give Daddy the second dose of the pill he'd need to extend his life. 

Guys.... Is this The Fuckening? Are we getting separation angst now? Please, no....

Zhao confronts him and he admits he gave the pill to Daddy. But he didn't know it was poison. In a flashback we see Feather Fan YAWNfang giving Yanlai the pill saying it is a lifesaving drug. 

Rather than explain this, bro just straight up offers his life to Zhao, who grabs a bow and arrow. She replays their greatest intimate moments in her head as she holds the arrow steady on him. She releases the arrow and gives him a little scratch on the cheek. 

Yo? It looked like her strength gave out and she accidentally released? What are your takes? I don't think she has it in her to kill him. She has to have some doubts that he is actually guilty. If she truly believed he killed her father, I think she could kill him. 

"Why?" She responds, "We are square".

WHY ARE YOU NOT EXPLAINING YOU WERE SET UP??? STUPID DUMB WRITERS AGAIN!!!! OH I HATE THIS. 

....Roll.... Credits.... 

Annnnnnd I just had to watch the trailer for episode 13...... WHY DID I DO THAT?????? Don't watch it, guys. Trust me.

I am now pissed off and very upset. I am going to be a big boy and make a cup of tea. Next I see my mother I am going to hug her.

Welcome to the discussion for Ashes to Crown. I am AKiceman and I am joined by u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule

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Snark Level: WE GOT THE GOOD STUFF, GUYS!!!!!

Episode 10

Well, the battle is getting warmed up and our fearless Zhao is up on the ramparts taking a look. Here's my thing though... 3000 troops to take a city? Really? Even with only 500 defenders that isn't really a tough challenge to hold the fort.

The men have the stupid idea that they should break Zhao out of the city and let her escape. Zhao, the only one with a brain, says that is a lame sauce idea. Like, duh! Add the 300 soldiers that General Uncle brought and you have more than enough to hold the city! If you run you are taking away soldiers from where they need to be.  

Sealed city? Ha! Not at all! Cangmu Stronghold march right on up and say hello. Bandit Lady Madam Ge and Big Brother Ge are ready to fight to protect the obvious daughter/niece relationship we have going on here. General Uncle briefly asks Madam Ge if she told Zhao something. "Not a word" is her response. YEAH, WE KNOW YOU ARE HER MOTHER! Or aunt.

During their strategy session where they plan on cutting off the enemy water supply, Madam Ge reaches into her clothes and whips out her bone whistle, saying she can blow on it to summon men. Yes. Whipping out a boner and blowing on it can summon a man real fast. 

Hmmm. Not my best innuendo, but it mostly works.

Look, I get that most of the men in this room deeply respect Zhao and understand she has learned a lot from her father... But why is she the only one putting out ideas and strategy? These war hardened fighters have nothing to say other than be yes men to her? Freaking scriptwriters are trying so hard to make her look like a big boss lady after they nerfed her the past several episodes. 

Chu \"Deadpool\" Zhao

Soldier Scout boy who used to be that higher ranked guy in her past life volunteers to "defect" and leak the map. I really should have written out a full character list like I did for Born With Luck..... Buuuuut I am winging this harder than frustrated falcon. 

THANK YOU, ZHAO, FOR SAYING HIS NAME IS LIANG QIANG. Okay. Now we are getting somewhere. I still didn't write it down. 

Well, LQ goes off and put on a great act that is instantly seen through by the enemy general. Bro is about to get a neck breathing slit added to his body when it's reported that he was telling "the truth". Chu Zhao was very smart in her planning by actually moving the food to the south gate. It's like that scene in Pirates of the Caribbean when Norrington says "You were actually telling the truth!" and Captain Jack Sparrow responds "I do that quite a lot... yet people are always surprised." 

Well, the sex scene starts and a bunch of men bring out their massive phallic shaped wood and try to breach the slit in the door that leads into paradise. Oh, wait. This is a battle scene. 

I'm just saying what it looks like.

Rather than be useless as always, the citizens rush out to support their soldiers in holding the gate. Wow. Usually the town folk are a waste of time. Nice to see them use some brain power. 

Yanlai burns the enemy granary to ashes which pisses the enemy general off into a full on charge at the city. Time to welcome him with some horseplay! Errrrr.... I mean a cavalry  charge. 

Rather than show us an epic battle, we cut to the aftermath the next morning. Furthermore we didn't even get to see Zhao wear any armor. Instead she is reduced to a pacing female waiting for the men to come home. Really? Seriously? I mean yeah that is smart since her fighting skills aren't the best... and she's very valuable.... but really? Really? Really? Rude. 

No word of Yanlai, so Zhao runs frantically through the streets out into the battlefield to look for her man. 

Just admit you love him already.

Naturally bro has to ride in on a horse of aura. 

What in the Blossom is this running hug? Nahhhhhhh you DID NOT do that anywhere near as good as Song Mo and Dou Zhao. Hey, they were both named Zhao! Nice! 

It's still cute.

"I promised I would come back alive".

News reaches the Capital that the Grand Princess has crushed the Northern Invasion. We see a very happy Cousin Tang who gets to brag and shove it in the gaggle of girls faces that the Chu clan acts boldly and silently.

Now to the court. I'm sorry, Old Man buttface, you said the princess fled to fight? Excuse you? Fleeing does not mean going to fight. These old ass turds are only upset they got saved by a woman who is smarter than they are. Useless. Only good to be cannon fodder. Our Deng and Xie villians remind the turds that the princess is the only one of them who is actually saving lives around here and to either put their money where their mouth is or shut the flipping flapping frick up!

Little Emperor Yu shreds the ministers with bold words defending his adopted big sister and reminds them she is following his orders. Then he presses the attack and asks them to investigate how 3000 soldiers got so deep into their lands. This kid can freaking act! I'd go to war for this kid... 

I started tearing up at this.

Cousin Tang is basking in the glory of Zhao's victory because now she can hold her head up high around Deng Deez Nuts. Bruh.... I said..... No romance for them... I am sensing romance. Mother Deng reminds Deez Nuts not to miss an opportunity with the Chu girls since they are very good girls. Hmmmm. Maybe I would be open to some romance if he called Tang a good girl. I wouldn't mind more reasons to say "kinky".

Well, poop. We go from a cute scene of Chu Tang scurrying off from Deng Deez Nuts in what appears to be some girlish shyness.... to Douchecanoe raging because his plans got ruined. Douchecanoe orders the execution of the surviving northern soldiers... because that is such a great way to respect your partnership with the Northern King. No way that will come back to bite in the butt...

Feather Fan Fudgeface Xie YAWNfang and his subordinate are "diss-cussing" Zhao's victory. The sub whose name I don't care about is being sexist and saying that it's wrong for a woman to have such great merit. Oh my god.... WE GET IT ALREADY! This show should just be renamed Sexist Men Have It Out For A Smarter Woman. Actually, that sounds like the name for a porn film... 

Zhao is having a midnight sit on the stairs, thinking about the cost of war. Yanlai joins her and they have a comfortable moment of compassion.

"Perhaps you don't know what your name means to me. But just as dawn drives away the night, you saved me. After you left, I kept searching for you wherever your trail led. Back then I thought if I couldn't survive then dying where you were wouldn't be so bad."

Now she know he was the man she saved those years ago. NOW KISS!!!! 

About time.

Look. Is it the most passionate kiss ever? Nah. But it doesn't need to be. This is a first kiss shared after an emotional confession during a sorrowful time. This is choosing love amidst grief and passion. This is two souls who have chosen each other over and over again taking a physical first step in a relationship that has already had many intimate moments of comfort and familiarity. 

Liang Qiang is reading a secret note saying his name is cleared and he will be rewarded. Hmmm.... Sus. Anyways, 3 Northern Villages have been seized, including Wei Village. Seems the enemy scouts had a mark on the map. Must be important! Yanlai confirms this to us by flashing back in his memories to the village burning and that kid whose name I can't remember. By the way, Yanlai looks damn good in this red robe. 

We have a little conversation between Madam Ge and General Uncle which really does seem to confirm she is Mommy since she asks about someone who is obviously General Daddy. 

Everyone knows you are mommy.

Just admit you are mommy already!

Speaking of General Daddy, he is having some blurry vision and coughing more blood. He learns of his daughters great victory and goes blind. The episode ends with him saying "I wish I could see you. Zhao". Well, bye bye eyesight!

Roll Credits! I'm going to eat an ice cream sandwich now.

All in all a damn fine episode today!

Sound off in the comments and let me know your opinion. I appreciate each and every one of you who share your time here with me.

Getting my upvote ready for Thezoeyy on their next post.

Welcome to the discussion for Ashes to Crown. I am AKiceman and I am joined by u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule

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^(You know, I was having a great Friday and then) ^(The Fuckening) ^(happened and now I am just depressed. A hornet cracked the windshield of my truck. Yeah. It happened when the flying twerp wouldn't leave me alone and I introduced him to a sandwich made out of the windshield and my boot. Whoops.)

Snark Level: I seem to recall enjoying this episode yet the snark was starting to appear.

Episode 8

Well, this episode is starting with... naked men? That's a fun choice for the ladies! Not just any naked men.. 3 naked men tied up like a Christmas goose! Bondage this early? Kinky! Okay. That was my innuendo for the scene... Now here is the snark. The flying F word do you mean they are tied up like how a frontier soldier would tie a prisoner? It's tying someone up. It's not all caps F word with the ING at the end rocket science! You tie hands and feet. It's really not that complicated. 

Waiiiiiiiiit.... 3 of them and they had their uniforms stolen? Isn't a certain lady traveling with 3 soldiers? Ha. Almost time for that epic rescue I mentioned for last episode.

So Zhao has already Sherlock Holmes'd it out that these 3 are bandits, yet she still is with them. Sure, sure. Smart, smart.

Well, don't leave us hanging, Zhao. Please explain yourself. Oh but hang on, it seems we must be momentarily left hanging since a certain someone crashes the party.

Rather rude of Yanlai to poke another woman with his sword in front of the only woman he should be poking... with his sword.

So, what was your plan here, Zhao? Sure you want to find out how they have their intel and who is leaking it... but you are one single woman with poor fighting skills against three. Your plan was more buttocks than a cow. Seriously. You are lucky you have such a devoted man to come save your dumb brain. 

Eh? You're from Cangmu Stronghold and intercepted the dispatches to find the traitors yourself? Oooookayyyyy. Oh, and General Daddy killed their former leader? Yeah, something ain't sniffing right here. Okay, if they truly put nation above grudges then I am all for it. But I still don't trust them. Also, kind of stupid to literally just tell them you are their enemies daughter...  Zhao... Why are you being so obtuse? 

Well, that madam sure didn't hesitate to spill the beans. Called it. Now Zhao has these dumbfudges on her trail. Called that too. Yay me.

Well, we finally get an answer why Zhao is making stupid and risky choices...

I mean it's cute and all...

Well, great. BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TO BE THERE!!!!!!!! Ugh. You didn't know he was going to "offend" the Emperor to save your butt. Why, girl? Why?

Yanlai scolds Zhao for her dumb idea, but Zhao is confident she had been safe the whole time. Honey... Just because you say you all take risks every day... does not mean you should seek out more trouble. I cannot even with you right now.

Anyways, time to stay at the stronghold with people who may want to hate you soon. This is all far too convenient. We are obviously heading towards a battle here. But will the bandits stay true to Zhao?

Sayyyyyy is General Daddy arming the bandits—HEY WOW WHAT THE???? OHHHH!!!!!!!! Thank you to that guy for coming in and making our leads scramble to hide because we got this scene!

Sorry not sorry.

Right from that scene to her tending to his wounds in their bedchamber? Yummy!

Actually kind of proud of this one.

Yanlai really said this feels too personal? Dude. Did you forget the red beans? Idiot. Hmmm, at least Zhao understands why he handed her token off to Xie YAWNfang.

HA!!!! ONE BED TROPE!!!!  OH THEY ARE GOING TO KISS!!!!!! OH IT'S COMING!!!!! 

Hey... the heck? Bruh. So no kiss and he refuses to share the bed with her, instead resting against the bed. Buuuuuut she does tuck him in! 

I am going to go back and GIF that because I actually didn't originally.

The cute little smile he did after she tucked him in was great.

Well, the court is furious to hear that the stronghold ambushed the dispatch rider. Apparently General Daddy has also killed an enemy messenger. Yall talking like this just happened but the man is still in a coma, yes? Sooooooooooo... I sense fudgery. Or have I forgotten something? So now they are talking about replacing daddy with a new general. Hey, wanna bet that it's gonna be Yanlai? Probably not, but probably so.

The stronghold captures one of the men hot after Zhao and Yanlai wastes no time in taking the man to a shed for a conversation. We are treated to the sound of delicious screams as Zhao and the other look on in nervous horror. 

Yall haven't even kissed yet.

Zhao has her wifely duties down well. "I kill to stay alive" says our lovely Zhao. Ahhhhh but Yanlai responds with "I will kill for you". That is some marriage level commitment right there.

Well, bandit lady straight up outs Zhao as the Grand Princess and her brother is slightly confused since she was meant to marry douchecanoe.

Bro is always choking around his FL in dramas.

Oooooo, what does Bandit Brother know about her Mother? Do tell! There is so much more going on here... Hey, I wonder if the dead bandit leader was her mother! 

Zhao spills the red beans to Yanlai and tells him that "in her dream" he killed Xunn for her. But this time, this time it's her kill. Yanlai shocked me by initiating a hug! Woo!!!! Oh that's a very tight hug! He is finally letting down the walls. 

Finally, dude. Finally.

She hugs him even closer. He then hugs her even extra closer! Oh my! The train is arriving at the station! All aboard the hype train!

Roll credits!

Eight has been cast as bait for new comments. I am a poet and didn't know it.

The Immortal Snark Shifu will now share his thoughts.

Well, if you have been reading my responses in previous posts yall know I am rather annoyed by this show right now. Literally the only thing we have going for us is the leads and their epic swoon worthy chemistry. I find the villains boring and lacking any real aura. The plot is ehhhhhhhh and the stakes are high, but not like high high. I feel like 24 episodes isn't enough to fully flesh this show out and give us room to have real tension anywhere. I don't give a flying fig in a spaceship filled with farting skunks about anything or anyone in this show other than Zhao, Yanlai, and Yu. Everyone else are just filler people who steal time away from the important three.

Honestly though, I don't care that it isn't as good as I had hoped. I came to this show because of CDL and then for ZYR after seeing him in GTG. I came for their epic romance. I came for the GIFs I could make. So I am getting what I am after here.

Now I may rest easy now Thezoeyy has a great post coming soon.

Welcome to the discussion for Ashes to Crown. I am AKiceman and I am joined by u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks.

I am actually happy that we are at one episode a day right now because work is bending me over right now... Although... I don't get to make a 6 7 joke.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule

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Snark Level: I am still in the kitchen.

Episode 6

Duplicitous Deng Dick is having his little imaginary conversations with this kid again and fully committing himself to turn against Chu Zhao since "Xiao Xun can't die yet". So, Deng Dick has the final edict from the old Emperor that would have had Xun the heir. Interesting. Look, I knew he was going to be a dick, but I didn't think it would happen quite this fast. 

Douchecanoe now knows Dick has the edict

Oh good. Both of them are doing cringe face. Lovely. I love that we have such shit villains. In typical fashion, Deng Dick blames Chu Zhao for his being a dick. 

Feather Fan Fuckface Xie YAWNfang pops on by to admire Deng Dicks coffin. Fuckface admires the honesty of Deng Dick in regards to letting Douchecanoe Xun escape, but cautions him not to underestimate the weight of the coffin that Zhao has prepared for him. In other words... "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned". He further warns him not to get burned by having no clan to back him. Hmmm. Seems a reference to "I am the fire" from The Glory. I dig it.

I really hate how scummy all the men are turning. It's so boring to watch. This show needs better villains... or just better actors for the villains. They are.... not what a show like this needs. 

General Daddy isn't happy to hear his daughter is facing issues and prepares to send her aid. Of course, he seems to be rather ill and probably not long for this world. 

Maids always ask the great questions. Zhao's maid bluntly asks her if she didn't marry the douchecanoe because she has feelings for Yanlai. Seems tongues are starting to wag since he is still recovering in her chambers. "He is more than just a pawn. He is...  different". Yeah yeah, we know you love him. Just say it out loud, please. 

Our scummy villains have decided to make the forged note of war at the border an actual event. We are not surprised. Ugh. Do I really have to watch these two? I'd rather dunk my head into a boiling pot of molten lava. I still have trouble telling all three of these fuckers apart. They all look alike. At least Xie has that feather fan to identify him. 

Yanlai is being a dumbass and having nightmares while he has a beautiful woman resting on his bed. But he finally wakes up and gets to admire her. His coughing wakes her up before he can fully stroke her head. Pity. Though... Now she can stroke his head... If you know what I mean. 

Zhao offers him one wish to repay him for getting stabbed. The debt shall stand since he claims to have no wishes. Sure, sweetie. 

Stroke me daddy

"I'll tell you a secret" says the man as he leans closer to her. Ooooo and she leans in as well. Kiss? Please kiss. Well, they get even closer and that kiss feel inevitable... Only for the dumbass to tell her he stole one of the sweets she would send her father... instead of telling her that she once saved his life since we got the flashback of the town beating him. Hmmmm if he actually had those sweets... then wouldn't he be poisoned? I don't like that. He better be lying.

"I was thinking of making you something else to eat". What would that be, Zhao? Yourself, maybe? 

Well, holy shit! We are in a kitchen now and they are massaging some dough. Zhao is annoyed her hands are dirty and her hairpin is askew. What follows is some of the most intimate shit I have seen.

Fuuuuuck me, daddy.

Chen Du Ling is fucking gorgeous. More hair down scenes please.

I have no words. I am speechless.

These two feed us with longing looks. Bring on the yearning!

Well, pastry is their safe word. Just like wontons was in Generation to Generation. IYKYK.

We get a cute little flashback to young Zhao making cakes with her father. Zhao regrets her harsh words she said to her father.  Yanlai wipes her tear with his finger AND THEN PUSHES HER ON THE SWING??? Bro, you can't hide it anymore. He comforts her that her father doesn't blame her. 

Wait, they made red bean cakes? Red bean? As in love? LOVE????? YO!!!! THAT'S SO A DECLARATION!!!!!  

An urgent report comes that the border was invade and her father has collapsed unconscious after winning the battle. Spew blood and then splat. Cliche.

Well, time to see douchecanoe again now that he has made it back home to his father. Father Prince whatever his name is speaks in riddles and wanders around a curtain filled room. I am not impressed. Xiao Hong is his name. Hey, that's too close to Duke Su. Nope. Fuck off with that name. You are not worthy to have such a similar name to that fantastic man! May you fuck yourself with a cactus.

So these old fucking windbags of so called ministers think that General Daddy should be impeached because he won a battle? Eh? Nah, they can fuck off. Nice to see Feather Fan Fuckface Xie YAWNfang kind of backing Zhao up by pointing out that Xun the douchecanoe could be a traitor. 

Deng Dick is talking to the imaginary kid again and wasting my time with his presence. I really need a shower...  Deng Dick decides to start digging into Fuckface and look for a weak spot to exploit.

Hey, sidenote. Is it bad if my knuckle is swelling after I punched a chunk of skin off when I slammed my hand accidentally into a metal door? Just wondering. :) 

While checking out his new mansion, Feather Fan Fuckface tells his servant to order Yanlai to come. Ha. That's gonna go well.

Time to meet another beautiful lady! Hello, Chu Tang, Cousin of Chu Zhao. Zhao is concerned her scheming may impact her family so she is warning her cousin to have a plan. Tang says not to worry as the family will rise and fall with Zhao. Zhao is the fortress and Tang is the reach. That's a funny way of saying she works in the shadows to serve the light. Oh wait, she did say that! Assassins Creed, anyone?

If we fail...

"Now that I depart the Capital, I must rally every ally to hold the court for me".

Well, that's 6!

Sound off in the comments your thoughts! I need to be awake in 8 hours to drag my sorry ass back to work so I can melt in the sun again.

Yo, u/Thezoeyy you have no idea how much you are saving me here by hosting with me. You are the best!

A little GIF for my amazing co-host!

Welcome to the discussion for Ashes to Crown. I am AKiceman and I am joined by u/Thezoeyy to host for you fancy folks.

If you don't know me by now, then let me introduce myself. I snark. A lot. I've grown a reputation for snark and biting comments that are filled with as many insults as possible. I promise I am actually a very sweet person in real life.

Masterpost - Episode List - Airing Schedule

Please kindly remember to tag your spoilers if you discuss episodes beyond this post.

I am posting slightly later than I had thought... but I have my BIG ass mug of tea and I am ready. As I hadn't anticipated hosting this show, my post will read as my normal snark posts. That is how I intend to write my half of the discussions since I am stupid and keep adding responsibilities to myself! :D

Snark Level: BRING ON THE INSANITY!

Episode 1 - - -

Starting with her death? Woo! Off with a bang! Here we go! 

Hey! Cock fight! 

This dude killed 46 people? Nice! Are we sure though? He doesn't look that scary. 

Hmmmm.... This Xun guy might be a budding douchecanoe since they are starting off so sweet right now? 

First fight scene? Alright! Time to feel the vibe of this show! 

Bro coming in out of the sand has aura! Bro, this guy went to the Lord Chen school of badassery. OH FUCK THAT DOUBLE STAB TO THE CHEST!!!! FUCK ME! Fu Jiu is a motherfucking boss!!!!!! OHHHHHH!!!!! That kick to neck slice was insane! I am sat! Mother, I crave violence!

...Oh! He killed the maid? Oh she was bad? My gosh! This guy is insanely smart! I am going to drool over this man... I have no shame... I will swoon over this handsome man who kills people.

https://i.redd.it/72yhyp01e05h1.gif

Damn! He sure knows how to wield his sword! I bet Zhao will appreciate this. You know, in the future!

Bro casually dropping the best snarky one liner.

This Xun guy speaks many words of great devotion. Obviously he's a dick, right? I think he will be a dick.

Zhao is going to walk her own path right to her death, eh? Well, we do applaud her boldness. Sometimes you just have to walk your own path. Buuuuuuuuut sometimes it's best to listen to someone wiser than you.

This seems like a great time to comment on how fucking gorgeous Chen Du Ling is! Like, hello? Ma'am! Beauty and brains with the most seductive aura.

Xun was the only one left standing in this rebellion shenanigan? Yeah that is sus. You can see the douchecanoe starting to appear in his eyes. It wasn't like it was a hidden secret he was going to be bad. Not even a baddie, just bad.

They are really giving us a whole long prologue and I am all for it. Give us the story! One whole episode to set up the backstory is a great gift to us. This bodes well for the rest of the story. Please don't fail us, scriptwriters.

Hey, look! The emperor Xun went full douchecanoe. Kill your in-law on your wife's birthday? Chop his head off? Fucking hell the wine wasn't enough for her? Had to strangle her too? Fuuuuuck this piece of shit. Hate you! Damn. Can't even make an asphyxiation kink innuendo either.... It would be rather poor timing and taste. I know my limits...

Oh, hello Fu Jiu. NIce of you to show up. Nice stab. This music is legit. 

Well, it's rebirth time! Woo! Just how bad are they going to fuck us with the ending? :P Is it all a dream as she lays dying from the strangling? Haaaa..... Why do I do this to myself?

Hey, look! Two Zhaos on screen together! Both are wearing red though in the chest board scene... Pity. If one of them was wearing green I might get to make more Christmas innuendos.... Hehe. Veil of Shadows, anyone? Oh, but.... real world Zhao is wearing green.... Is this a VOS callback? Damn... but she doesn't have a man right now that I can make innuendos about.... Rude! You are spared me ruining Christmas for you... For now...

Holy fuck her eyes are insanely intense! I fucking adore this woman.

Episode 2 - - -

Awwwww. Look at Jiu playing with the kids. How sweet? Is he going to keep an eye on her now? 

Ahhhh his real name is Xie Yanlai. Good to know. Good to know. Gotta say though that I hate it when a character changes their episode 1 name to a different name in episode 2. My brain does not brain that well sometimes!

Feather Fan Fuckface Xie is going to be annoying... I can just sense it. The fact that the instant I saw him I knew what to call him says everything...

Sheesh. Zhao is right back where she started. The rebellion is now happening sooner! She gonna rebirth again or adapt to changing circumstances? 

Oh, she's gonna straight whack a guy with a stick! Nice. 

Gotta love the kid reaching out for her. It's giving power vibes. 

HA! Yanlai with the badass entrance! Woot! Yup. He went to the Lord Chen school of badassery. 

Time for my first innuendo GIF of the show!

I make no apologies. I have other commitments in regards to innuendos...

Okay but now look at his eyes!

https://i.redd.it/bhtqnhdse05h1.gif

This man is ready to slice and dice some people. I am sat!

But we cannot forget our dear Zhao!

https://i.redd.it/cprki9nxe05h1.gif

Chen Du Ling has some of the best eye acting out there.

What took you so long? Really? That's the first thing you are going to say to him? Try thanking him first, dear.

Gotta love how he just takes control! Swoon! Oh wait! Gotta love how she takes control back! Double swoon! Hehe... You just know.... in the bedroom... Kinky! Yes, I already have started.

Hey, yall think this little Imperial Grandson kid is gonna be as cool as Little Emperor from A Splendid Match?

As he tells her to go on and he stays to hold the door I recognize the look in his eyes. Yup. That is the look of a man who has decided that a lady is worth dying for. I sense an epic romance. 

Those are some strong ass arrows to penetrate stone walkways. I call bullshit.

That was epic verbal bitch slapping of the Deng Dick. Yes, Deng Yi shall be called Deng Dick. Hey, maybe his English name is Richard! You never know.

Awwwww. Look at the kid helping her to stand up in front of Old Emperor! We love a gentleman around here. I do believe the kid meant it when he said he would always trust her. He better not let us down...

Yanlai holding a sword to the emperor for his lady? Yeahhh this man is joining the ranks of Lord Chen and Marquis Wu'an. Hot damn I am giddy!!!

Did Zhao really just wrangle herself a title and little brother in one breath? Sheesh. Hey, I don't like that no husband oath... Well, now we know she'll give up that title for love eventually. Right? Guys? Right? 

Oh this stars scene is damn good. Hehe. That smug look of satisfaction on her face is sending me! Take that, Xun! You suck!

Episode 3 - - -

So Deng Dick is now Grand Mentor Deng. Do you think he will be a dick? I really want to call him Deng Dick more. Hey, I know exactly who to make the new guard commander. Hehe. Look at his eye contact as he walks to her. Delicious! 

https://i.redd.it/ur3gid8jf05h1.gif

Again! Her eye acting! Hello! Ma'am! Respectfully!

I promise.

It is great they keep giving us name titles around here. It helps. Also, we adore the Emperor for wanting his sister around. You show them who's boss, you two! 

So many red costumes! I am feeling... satiated. 

Feather Fan Fuckface Prime Minister Xie Yanfang is quite the mouthful... but it suits his pompous ass.

I will compliment him on how tall he is. His height difference with Zhao is quite delicious. It appears this two will be early allies to each other, but she knows not to trust this deeply scheming man. While he is on her side right now since Xun murdered his sister, he will turn against her. I am calling it. His little warning to her after catching her is filled with many meanings.

Yanlai with the depressing childhood and filled with years long resentment and rage. Ahhhhh he is going to be so much fun to watch. Nice earring, by the way. 

Zhao already knowing his true identity and giving Grand Mentor Deng Dick that "fuck off" look really shows her teeth. It's wild, but expected, that even after how much she has already achieved, these dumbass men still look down on her because she's a woman. Like, dude. She is a hungry wolf. 

Meanwhile, she is telling us exactly what she thinks of Yanlai.

We love a woman who recognizes what her man does for her.

Ahhhh, she is placing a lot of faith in him early on. That is expected since he protected her well, but still unexpected at the same time. I love smart and logical characters like Zhao.

Um, hello. Meeting a man at night in his chambers? Okay, Zhao! I see you! The seductress is coming out and OH SHE CALLED HIM BY HIS REAL NAME!!! Bring it on!

Cloak trope! We have a lady initiated cloak trope! 

Her! Eyes! Again!

Ahhhhh, but she is not fully in control here. He has his own mind.

Honey, you have not tamed him yet.

He's the only one who can throw her off balance. Oh oh oh oh she is regaining control! She won this exchange for sure. She might not have gotten what she wants from him yet, but she has the upper hand. You can't fool us, bro. We know you will be her biggest supporter. The way she just casually brushes across his back as she walks away lets you know she isn't fooled by his initial rejection. 

In the imaginary chess board world, her alter ego is clearly her shoulder devil, speaking her most bitter thoughts. She herself is her shoulder angel. She is ready to play the long game.

Oh look. A bunch of old ass men who look down on a lady. Typical. But oh how sweet it is watching her order Yanlai to put a little fear into these meddlesome Ministers. 

Literally me after today...

Me too, Yu. Me too. 

HA!!!! Little Emperor runs to hug Yanlai! HAHA!!! Get stuffed, Feather Fan Fuckface Prime Minister Xie YAWNfang. Boy Zhao really is taking every chance to flirt with Yanlai... Poor fuckface is probably thinking "In front of my salad?" at this moment. I wonder how much of this is scheming flirting and how much is actually real flirting right now. 

Yanlai is laying out everything and everyone who is against her and just has to ask what she has! She tells him!

Her eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look at him gripping his sword as she touches him. I bet that's not the only sword that is affected by her. Kinky!

Well, that's the first 3! u/Thezoeyy has 4 and 5 coming soon!

Tian Xi Wei.

That's it.

That's the post.

That's the only reason you need to watch this show.

This is a TXW appreciation post.

Wait, you need more reasons? Really? Uhhhhh, are you okay?

Alright. Buckle up, motherfuckers! Here we go! I have no plan here... I am just going to throw GIFs and words here and tell you a story! I can't honestly believe that Tian Xi Wei isn't enough of a reason. She is literally the only reason I watched this show. Though I am very glad I did because this really is underrated and a fucking gem!

If you didn't know, I was forced prodded by a certain common herb, u/BasilOrdinary3617, to host the discussions for BWL. I'll include a LINK to all of my posts on the show.

The synopsis from MDL:

>Zhang Yi Ang, a veteran detective, is sent to Sanjiangkou to investigate a case but soon finds himself caught in a web of crime and corruption. While pursuing a powerful criminal network, he unexpectedly receives help from a group of bungling thieves, who inadvertently aid his mission to unravel the truth behind a murder.

That seriously does not come anywhere close to describing this show. This show was the perfect blend of crime, comedy, corruption, and cute cop!

We love her.

So second up, we have the veteran cop Zhang who is simply Born With Luck because no matter how right or wrong he is, the stars align for him. Though that doesn't stop him from creating fiascos wherever he goes.

https://i.redd.it/fhxk4evz2c4h1.gif

After some epic fuck ups, he gets sent to go hide away in a small town and do police shit there. But nah, he's actually going there because he suspects.... MURDER!!!!!

He's teamed up with Li Qian, who may be a rookie, but she's a damn good cop!

Shit. Did I leave the stove on?

Now we have the two "Hardened Criminals" who bumble around harder than a dating app.

https://i.redd.it/4makj0ck3c4h1.gif

No, really. They are hardened. They blow shit up, literally, and keep trying to do crime, but somehow keep unintentionally helping the police.

The number of times I want to do this.

No, really. They are Hardened... But sometimes they are kind of shitty. They aren't just your comedy crime duo, they actually rob, steal, beat, and maybe even cause someone to die? I guess you'll have to watch to find out.

I wasn't kidding about shitty.

Then you have these other criminals who do criminal things. They are smart enough to know when they have the upper hand. This means they can wear massive shit eating grins and do a sexy dance!

He's a fun villain

Bro is humble. We like humble.

Despite what he says, he's not number one. Time to meet the boss.

That's this guy.

This is Rong. Rong is a criminal. That means he is wRong. Know what he is never wrong about? Women! This man respects women! He even called Li Qian as Miss Qian when she was trying to arrest him. We appreciate it when men respect women.

He is smart. Very smart. How smart? This smart.

Very smart.

He has a sidekick who handles business well.

And how does the sidekick handle business? Take a look!

No disrespect allowed here.

You want me to do what?

Old man Fang guy up over here is an official just trying to live his honest life with minimal criminal tendencies... until he sees history! Then he just has to break the law!

I adore her.

Let's take a break from talking about criminals. Back to Tain Xi Wei. She may be a rookie, but this lady can handle her business with a flair for the dramatic. Dumbass really thought he could take her... First she got things wet and then she turned up the heat!

Speaking of turning up the heat... Allow me to introduce our spicy couple!

https://i.redd.it/f19h17o7ad4h1.gif

You have these two who just can't help themselves... Bro thinks he's incapable of pleasing her, but she is a loyal woman! Danger turns them on! Danger kink! Kinky! I actually learned something about pregnancy thanks to them.

Speaking of women...

Women drivers. Am I right?

Back to criminals. There is this poor schmuck. I lost count of how many hits to the head that man took between multiple car crashes and bitch slaps. Bro had the worst luck.

Okay. Criminals do criminal things. Cops do cop things. Li Qain is the smartest cop in the room, but is constantly overshadowed by someone with better luck.

My Queen.

But when it's time to throw hands... She is there and ready to beat some ass! I volunteer...

I won't go into specifics about the cases or the outcomes because I want you all to fully enjoy the ride... but let me just say...... Yassssssssss!

Li Qian and Zhang make the best partners. They just understand each other. I also fully appreciate how much respect the men gave to her despite the fact that she is a young lady.

https://i.redd.it/fl7psw4phd4h1.gif

You all know that I am filled with SNARK! That's why you know my name. I snarked at so many shows that now you search me out looking for that snark. I snark like a snarky snark. That said, I hardly snarked at this show. There wasn't anything to snark at it! The show was just that well done! The characters felt real and honest to their descriptions. There were no cringe over the top stupid ass leering high demented squirrel laughing buttfucks who claim to be big baddies but are nothing more than wastes of our time! Even some of the outlandish scenarios that went down all felt plausible and realistic.

The gaggle of cops were this perfect balance of smart and savvy mixed in with silly and scatty.

So if you are looking for a good cop show with no romance, smart criminals, hilarity, all without forgetting to have some dark vibes to it? Yeah. This is that show.

I'd watch anything if she's in it.

Okay. That was a whole post on why you should watch Born With Luck. I can't believe you needed that much detail when I literally said "Tian Xi Wei" at the start.

Here is my final thoughts about the show.

https://i.redd.it/h807qidefd4h1.gif

Tian Xi Wei.

Tian Xi Wei.

Tian Xi Wei.

You feel me, homie? Alright. Time to send this into the wild!

Tian Xi Wei.

Well, here we go. u/No-Recipe-7653 asked me begged me to create a post here where I could fill it up with my massive innuendos from previous CDrama discussion posts. u/AquaphobicTurtle warned them that this might not be the best thing to ask for and scolded me for ruining Christmas! The audacity!

First, let me give you some lore. Once upon a time when I was an innocent boy I came across a post talking about how the sword dance/bathtub scene in The Double was basically an implied sex scene between the leads. I started looking for other such implications across all dramas that I watched. Recently shows like Generation To Generation and Veil Of Shadows have given me plenty of material to work with.

Lets get the ball rolling! What are some of your favorite innuendos in dramas?

Very mild spoilers for multiple shows.... sooooo enjoy!

Veil of Shadows.

Do I really need to say what this looks like?

VOS was a fantastic show with two very beautiful and foxy ladies who made it their own mission to seduce their men. The number of times I called it kinky when one kept asking to be tied up...

There was a scene where one character was in the same scene twice. One of her is wearing a green dress, the other wearing a red dress. Yes I kept that vague. So I wrote this...

>Oh my gosh. We have Red Wangyan and Green Wangyan! WE HAVE CHRISTMAS WANGYAN!!! Is she a present for Wu? Does he get to unwrap his gift later? Does he get to show her his Christmas Tree? Is she going to Jingle his Bells? Is she going to be a ho ho ho for him? We already know he likes to tie her up... Is he going to bring out the tinsel or the Christmas twinkle lights strings? Is he going to go down her chimney to her fireplace? Is he going to show her his Yule Log? Is she going to drink his homemade eggnog? Is she going to be the Angel on top of his tree?

I decided to double down in the comments...

>We already know that Wangyan has given Wu her pearl. Here is what I am wondering. Since she is such a naughty lady, do you think Wu gave her coal for Christmas?

>When he showed her the above mentioned tree, do you think he wore a stocking to protect his candy cane?

We're all adults here.

How about we talk about A Splendid Match?

Yup. That happened.

It goes without saying that I made multiple comments whenever she blew the whistle Lord Chen gave her. After all she is literally blowing his whistle here and is rewarded with a facial. Cmon. We saw their wedding night. Kinky.

Love Beyond the Grave gave me this.

You know these two were freaky...

Well, maybe not freaky too much since that boy went jelly... but there was no fish kiss! Jellyfish!

Now that I have warmed you up... Let me bamboozle you with something horrific.

Rebirth. Yes. That garbage.

Nah, I was actually cringing.

Look, this scene was horrific. I was... uncomfortable. A lot of that was because of the circumstances and why she was seducing the man... This was too much. Hilariously she later became one of my favorite characters in this shithole show.

Pursuit of Jade.

Yeahhhhhh. IYKYK. I won't talk about the very spicy second leads because that was A LOT!!!

Mild, but you get it.

GENERATION TO GENERATION!!!!!!

I really am so rude for putting this so near the bottom. Um, for a show that had a draggy ass plot... this show was filled with innuendos. From wontons to sentient vines that had our FL in a very suggestive pose... Oh, don't forget that massive snake!

Their safe word was wontons.

He will always take care of her.

She has a biting kink.

Yes, I made the text *pulse* for a reason

She literally said they could have a one night stand but it wouldn't mean anything! She wanted him too.

Trust me. Watch the show... There were some not so subtle references to bondage and it was slightly implied that the ML would be very happy to show the FL everything there. They had some kinky relatives too...

Unveil: Jadewind. Yeah. I got a few.

She straight up offered him her cherry. Think he popped it? Yup.

Would this be Bai Bi Panic?

She touched his balls.

I think this was the first GIF I made where I really started letting my dirty mind show... I am still very proud of this one.

How Dare You!

Ha! He had a great night.

It's very similar to that hilarious scene in POJ between Changyu and The Princess where she is nursing Changyu and trying to figure out where her neck bruises came from. Sadly I didn't GIF that.

Yup. He did penetrate her last night.

Well, that's what I could find in my GIFs and remember from my past comments. I am sure I have far more out there that is just waiting for someone to find... But this should fulfil the request that was made of me.

This is what I will be looking like while I read any comments.

How I imagine everyone reading this post will react. :)

Remember.... it was u/No-Recipe-7653 who asked for this... I am just an innocent bystander who did nothing wrong! xD

Nah, I joke. I am very proud of this and I make no apologies!

Thank you for your time!

 Airing Schedule - Masterpost - Episode List - Express Discussion

Welcome to the fifteenth and final discussion post for Born With Luck. 

Please remember to tag spoilers if you talk about episodes beyond this post. SPOIL EVERYTHING!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I am posting slightly later than I wanted to... but work was a pain in my knee today.

Snark Level: I don't want this to end...

Episode 24.

Final episode! Lets get it on!

Flashback scene to Ye Jian's death. Time for the reveal! Turns out the car had knives on the bumper which explains the weird stabs. It looks like we see the backside of Bowen here.

In the present, Bowen admits to swindling 30 million from Rong to pay his debts. Zhang starts pressing him about the phone. "If you knew that phone wouldn't harm you, then why did you want it?" There must be something more on that phone because Bowen suddenly confesses to killing Captain Ye.

When they examine Bowen's car, they find Ye's blood and confirm it was the car used. The stabby knife thingy is missing, but they believe Bowen is telling the truth since he knows the exact details of the murder and "the only fingerprints found inside were Lang Bowen and Lang Botu." Well, now we know who the murderer is... and it's not going to be Bowen. 

Zhang comments "He would kill Ye, but pay 5 million instead of killing the two street loafers. Does that make sense?" Nope. Not one bit. Again, the killer is not Bowen. 

Remember what was written on the rock?

Bowen chokes himself on his prison food to get himself sent to the hospital. His IV will take about 4 hours which is how long until Lang Botu flies away to The Land of Opportunity America.

It is now "2:00pm" and with his IV finished, Bowen requests to see Zhang and confesses that he lied about murdering Ye Jian and that he has no idea who did. He correctly points out due to the DUI checkpoints that were up that night he would have been caught since he was drunk. Zhang claps back with the fingerprints and the fact that they lied about the time! Gasp! It is only 1:40pm! 

Lang Botu is arrested at the airport, but not handcuffed because "there are too many people". So fucking what? Really? C'mon, Song Xing. 

At the station, Botu confesses that he answered the phone call from Yi Jian, and after learning that Bowen was suspected of murder, arranged to meet Ye. He attached the board of knives to the car and rammed Ye. We are treated to the emotionally tear jerking scene of death with some sad ass music for extra feeling. 

In the hospital when Bowen had told Botu to call the police about the phone deal, Botu had confessed about murdering Ye. Botu wanted to turn himself in, but Bowen creates the plan to help him escape by taking the fall and then recanting. The brothers truly love each other deeply and it's a criminally touching scene.

Crime doesn't pay.

Two months later.

"Parting is always sad". Li Qian and Zhang are slipping out as quietly as they slipped in. Or so they think. Chief Qi leads the gaggle outside the station to say goodbye to them as Zhang has been transferred back to the capital. Chief Qi begs him to stay, so Qian breaks the fourth wall.

It's like she is staring into my soul. Swoon!

Zhang takes him aside and says "Nothing hurts more than a hidden story in your heart." A moment of understanding passes between them.

Zhang sneaks in a cheeky goodbye to Captain Wang.

Bro, don't disrespect my lady like that. Ass.

Another two months later.

Li Qian finds Zhang in the Logistics Service.

She is so cute!!!!

It seems she's here to pick up some ink for a printer and to give him some tea.

She looks damn good in uniform

Qian asks if he wants to go back to the front lines and he says that one must heal up first. He also wants the next generation of officers to have growth opportunities. Qian has been solving small cases in the time they have been back.

Zhang compares all the different jobs in the police to the water machine in his office. No matter where it is, it does its job by bringing light and heat to those that need it. 

This final message all about the power of everyone coming together in their differences and building a stronger future together is a very fitting message to end the show on. 

Roll credits.

That is that. My duty is done. 

This has been a fantastic show overall and I am very happy to have been able to experience it as your host. It is rare that I find a show where I can watch without snarking hard at it for mistakes and poor plotting. This show did excellent with keeping the pace moving and the mystery alive, all while continuing to drop some hints along the way.

The characters were well written and even better acted. Not once did I unleash the snark at a"cringe character". There was no cringe face leering over the top evil laughing bullshit that drags a drama down with its overdone mediocrity. 

Zhou Rong was smart and hilarious.

Hu Jianren could pull off menacing while still having a whole personality with his ability to convey his shock or skepticism. 

Fang Chao and Liu Zhi were pure comedy the whole time while still being quite serious and mostly competent criminals. We weren't just told there were hardened, they proved it with their actions.

Lang Bowen could act up the cheesy playboy, but could instantly switch into someone you wouldn't want to cross.

Heck, all the criminals did a damn fine job acting.

Zhang Yi'ang was the brilliant and bumbling lucky cop that kept us guessing if he were truly that genius or just Born With Luck. Fantastic acting by LW. 

Li Qian gave off a rookie officer who already had enough experience to make her a badass. TXW played her perfectly every time she was given the chance to shine.  I do wish the writing had given her a lot more to do besides countless scenes of her standing and staring... 

I want to curse thank u/BasilOrdinary3617 for prodding me into hosting. I will remember this for the rest of my existence, my internet stranger friend.

Thank you to u/alcibiad and u/latefair  for assisting me in my first time hosting and giving me the guidance to complete this hosting. I was beyond nervous going into this and they were very patient with me as they showed me how to do this. 

Good show. Maybe I would rewatch.

Until we see each other again.

 Airing Schedule - Masterpost - Episode List - Express Discussion

Welcome to the fourteenth discussion post for Born With Luck. 

Please remember to tag spoilers if you talk about episodes beyond this post.

Snark Level: Guys! We are getting there! Things and stuff are happening! Li Qian is a badass!

Episode 23

Flashback scene 2 years prior. This Zhao idiot is mad at Rong for not accepting his toast. Jianren has the solution.

Simple and Elegant.

Chao and Zhi neck chop their way into the villa. Rong lets out his inner Marquis Wu'an and stabs Du Cong in the leg. Du Cong repays the favor by knocking him over the head with some marble, but is knocked over in his escape by our hardened criminals charging in.

We end up in a Mexican Standoff

Rong makes the first move by shooting Penggai in the leg which removes him from being held captive by Chao. Guess who heard the gunshot? Yup! Zhang and Li Qian. Rong retrieves the phone just as the police rush in. Time for a new standoff!

Rong accuses Zhang of being the mastermind behind everything happening, which Zhang plays along with. He outlines how all the coincidences and random things that have happened must have all been orchestrated by Zhang. 

Lets give him credit. Even while raving and waving a gun around, he still respects Li Qian by referring to her as Ms. Li. We stan a gentleman around here.

Using the pretext of being the mastermind, Zhang is getting Rong to confess to everything, including people and events he didn't even know about. To make this all the more hilarious, we have "doubt the doubt" being sung to us as the background music. Cute.

From this moment on a lot happens so I go into short recap mode.

I cannot use words to fully express how badass Li Qian is over the next 30 seconds so I will just show you.

Li Qian is a muthafuckin badass!

PUT SOME RESPECT ON MY GIRL TXW!!!

Hey so, who is left? Huo Zheng for one. I think they have everyone else. It's only ep 23...

Well, now lets get Zhang to a hospital.

Love how googling his wound location said he would die. Bad, Song Xing. Very bad. Don't google your symptoms...

Hey, so... it's not great that the song that was playing on my playlist while I was editing that GIF was the OST for Fangs of Fortune... EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!

But no worries. It's not a bad wound and he will be recovering quickly.

Captain Wang worries that Huo Zheng will come after Zhang for revenge over the death of Uncle Fei. Zhang says that if he does he will "handle him with one hand".

Huo Zheng  sneaks into the hospital and hides his knife in the backpack of an unsuspecting man. Li Qian recognizes the ploy and they  kick into search and destroy mode. 

Huo first hides in another patients bed where he is given that mans shot of penicillin. 

Huo has the manners to let a doctor finish taking a whizz before neck chopping him for his uniform and gets access into the secure area where Zhang is slowly waking up from surgery. 

By the time Huo finds a mostly awakened Zheng, he is suffering from an apparent allergic reaction to that penicillin. 

Zhang really is Born With Luck.

Cut to Fang Yong getting arrested.

Li Qain delivers the news that they got into the phone and Bowen was just a witness. All arrested individuals are claiming they have no idea what is going on... except for our hardened criminals! They confess to everything they did. Fang Yong, realizing he is toast, spills the beans.

Meanwhile, Li Qian is being her perfect and amazing self by doing an excellent job of helping Zhang walk around his hotel room. The gaggle arrive to inform him that Rong will only confess to him.

It is suspected that Rong ordered Bowen to kill Chief Lu because he wouldn't help when Jianren was sentenced to a year in prison for assault. That was the fight we saw in the opening scene. Zhang confronts Rong with the evidence that he offered 30 million for Lu's death. Rong admits that he did this to avenge Jianren. Furthermore, Rong believes Lu didn't want Ye Jian to replace him, which pissed off Rong even more considering their childhood ties. However, Lu had actually wanted Ye to expand his knowledge instead of being tied down to a desk job. Rong is shocked to learn the Lu's death was truly an accident. For the final kick, Zhang tells Rong that he wasn't actually the mastermind of all the recent events and that the true reason of Rong's fall is his own actions.

The pieces are falling into place as Zhou Qi provides Captain Wang with the information that Yibo had asked her to go to Bowen.

Roll credits!

So what are you all thinking right now? Do you sense a twist? Do you sense The Fuckening? Do you sense a great show?

I blood well love this show.

 Airing Schedule - Masterpost - Episode List - Express Discussion

Welcome to the lucky thirteenth discussion post for Born With Luck. 

Please remember to tag spoilers if you talk about episodes beyond this post.

Snark Level: We are coming to a head! The plot is plotting!

Episode 22

Let's open with our favorite upbeat bunny song and our hardened criminals watching people load briefcases into a van outside Rongcheng. 20 million dollars, perhaps?

At the hospital, Zhang confronts Lang Bowen about the bells, who denies involvement. They leave him to stew over this. Quite the show of force for only asking one question and then leaving. Way to put some fear into him!

Captain Wang asks why they are all there. Zhang leaves it to Li Qian to explain that they are trying to make Rong suspect Bowen. Song questions if it will actually work since they have used this trick 3 times now. 

All is fair in love and war.

Well, time to feel pity for Du Cong. He secretly brings some money home and we hear his mother ask his clearly ill father if they should call Du to have him help bring daddy to the hospital. Daddy Du says not to bother Du since he works for a big company. Du tries to leave, but his conscious says to announce himself and tell his Daddy Du that he will get him cough syrup. Feeling a massive amount of obvious regrets for his life choices, he makes a call to Jianren.

Jianren informs Rong that the police visited Bowen and Du Cong had called to say he found Li Penggai's car and money. He demands they all come see him.

Outside, the police are watching.

You can expect to see this GIF used in the future.

Rong pokes enough holes in the story that Penggai realizes there had to be a third person at the scene, simply because there is no way he could have tripped and taken himself out. His ego, while wrong, is right that there was a third.

Rong believes him, but still thinks it's our junk collecting Mao and Gang who are trying to blackmail him for the phone. Ring Ring! The real blackmails, our hardened criminals, call and demand.... 5 million dollars instead of 20!!!! Apparently 20 is just too much for Rong to give so they lower the amount! Weirdest criminals ever. 

Rong goes to the hospital to confront Bowen about the police visit. Bowen has already deduced why Zhang was there. Rong speaks about how badass us Americans were in WW2 in a roundabout way of saying he trusts Bowen and gives him the task of retrieving his phone which would free him up to meet with Uncle Fei in the bells deal. Inside the briefcases isn't 20 million, but 1 whole knife. The message is clear. Bowen says he'd go if his leg weren't broken. Rong uses his words to backstab and say that was why he had let Lang Botu stay for this conversation. Botu agrees. Well, say bye bye to your promising future. 

Bowen chews his younger brother out and reveals the the phone means nothing because he didn't actually kill Chief Lu! Plot twist! It really was an accident. He just happened to be recording at the time and used that video to claim to Rong that he had handled a problem for him. This was part of his scheme to force Rong to flee so he could take over the town. He tells Botu to make an anonymous tip to the police about the phone deal.

Bowen goes to make the phone deal.

In a silly plan to make their escape, Yibo is planning to fake lung cancer so he and Qi can flee. Well, since he has a shit door, Jianren was able to hear this plan. Whoops. How thin are these walls, eh? Jianren tells him to go in place of Rong to make the bell deal. Apparently it's a dangerous mission since Rong intends to have Uncle Fei killed. Yibo secretly asks Qi to call Bowen for help, but she is forced by circumstances to leave the message with Botu. That message? "Yibo will never tell what happened on the night Ye Jian died." Qi makes an anonymous tip to the police about Rong's deal. 

Our blackmailing hardened criminals are sending Bowen on a constant rabbit chase by making him go to different locations around the town. Trying to shake a tail? Smart.

At the deal of the bells, Huo Zheng approaches the van he suspects of having Rong inside. Only... He gets a surprise.

Boom! Headshot!

The police arrive and we have a brief shootout with people who have the aim of Imperial Stormtroopers. Jianren tries to flee, but Yibo looks like he hits the windshield wipers and that stops the car? Eh? Is that where the Push To Start is? They are both arrested. 

What the fuuuuuck? Huo Zheng opens his eyes! He is alive! Did he get shot with a nonlethal? (I think that may be a cattle thing based on a video I later saw. Still no idea).

Uncle Fei steals a car... But is in for a surprise.

There is no brake!

Yeah, I'll use this GIF the next time I am swamped with On Air Dramas.

We get a cheesy car crash with the fakest look on his face.

Bro, take an acting class.

Is he really dead? That looks very dead.

Bowen appears to have lost his last shred of cool as he chases garbage cans around town so Zhang orders his arrest before they lose him. Captain Wang reports their side to Zhang. Fearing the deal is actually happening at the villa, Zhang zips on over. Wang will join him after he arranges a search for the newly come alive Huo Zheng. I almost said "The rebirthed Huo Zheng" but why would I want to remind myself about that garbage show? 

Back at the villa, Du Cong has the worst excuse for how he found the car.

Forever loving how smart Rong is.

Someone needs to read the book "How to create an alibi for Dummies.

Roll Credits!