I (42M) left a planned trip early after my long distance partner (41F) failed to show up.
I’m feeling very conflicted and need some perspective. For over two months, a girl I’m seeing and I planned a weekend in NYC. I put in significant effort: booking Broadway tickets, hotel arrangements, and building a full itinerary. We discussed it regularly; nothing was a surprise. Because she is currently between jobs, we agreed that I would cover the costs, which I was completely fine with.
The Situation:
- The Departure: While I was at the gate boarding my flight, she texted: "Houston, we have a problem." It was here that I learned that she hadn't even packed or bought a train ticket yet - she lives in DC.
- The Scramble: After I expressed I was upset, she pivoted several times, first saying she’d manage to get a train and arrive by 11 PM. After that didn't work out, she said she'd take a red-eye and be there the next morning, before finally just promising to arrive in time for the Broadway show the next day at 7pm.
- The Breaking Point: By the time this all played out, the joy and excitement we had built up over 2.5 months was completely drained from me. I felt undervalued and like the trip had become an obligation rather than a vacation. I decided to cut my losses and fly home early. She's still in DC and never made it to NYC.
I can’t tell if I overreacted by leaving before seeing if she’d actually show up today, or if her failure to prepare for a long-standing plan is a major red flag. Obviously I told her I was leaving and didn't just bail. Genuinely just looking for some input from others.
Did I do the right thing, or did I make a mistake? Why or why not? Feeling lost and stupid, and my stomach is a huge knot right now.