should i tell someone i relapsed?
back in december i was seeing a therapist and he had me make a saftey plan with my parents. he brought up that i had been cutting myself (despite saying he wouldnt, though thats irrelevant). my step mom took it pretty seriously and we cleaned out my room locked away sharp stuff and all that. she really emphasized that she wants me to communicate when im upset but that's really hard. my anxiety really controls my life and im just too embarrassed about everything. it was really hard to even tell anyone i cut myself in the first place because i thought it seemed like i was lying or being dramatic cause theyre not deep at all. but ive only ever done it cause i get scared ill hurt myself worse if i don't. anyway ive been pretty sad for a couple weeks and i tried to tell her but i sort of chickened out but i spent the day with her and missed work. i didn't call in to my work that i wasn't going to be there and that made her pretty upset. she keeps telling me that she can't believe i didn't get fired and that she would've fired me. so i think she's upset with me. i just relapsed like an hour ago and i don't know if i should tell her or not. i only did it because i thought i would end up really hurting myself if i didn't. i know she's gonna find out eventually because its getting warmer and ill be in long sleeves again. she won't be home for a couple hours but i sort of had an anxiety attack thinking about telling anyone. i really don't want her to be mad and i'm really nervous and freaking out. i don't know what to do. should i tell her or just wait until she asks me?
sorry that its all in a block and my punctuation is bad. im kinda freaking out and don't have anyone to talk to.