u/AZdezertDude

Is it ever okay to check your kids' texts?

A little background, my daughter is 18 and in college and I never once checked her texts. She was always truthful and responsible and it was never an issue, even during the divorce. I have also never tracked my kids; I don't judge those that do and whether it's okay is another argument. My son is 15 and struggling with mental health. He is seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and I'm doing everything that I can think of to get him help. He's been in PHP and we're changing schools to something less stressful. However he doesn't seem like the same kid: he's becoming shady, talking about drugs and dropping out of school, and even acting out. I know that he has some friends that he met from group therapy that are not in school and are on drugs. My concern is that they are feeding into his troubles. His mom thinks that it is a major violation in any way.

What are your thoughts Dads? I hate to invade his privacy but he is also talking about not wanting to live. I feel like I need to know if his friends are helping the situation or making it worse. And yes, I've tried talking to him about it but feel I'm not getting straight answers. I understand that snooping without his consent is not a good idea, but maybe having him show me or the phone goes bye bye?

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u/AZdezertDude — 6 days ago

It gets better my dudes

This is for everyone just getting started and feeling down. Today would have been the 23 year anniversary. Three years ago "celebrated" 20 years. I was miserable but didn't know it. Two years ago I moved out and shortly later the divorce was final. A year ago I had my place and a new girl. Today I'm looking forward to my new life. Kids are with me and they prefer it since my home is the stable one. My new girl is going to come over and hang for the evening with the kids and I. Finances are tight and there is the occasional bad day, but happiness has returned.

Getting here has been a long, difficult process but I'm glad that I'm here and not stuck in misery. If you're just getting started get help, put yourself first, heal. Reconnect with friends and family. Take a class and learn something new, find new hobbies and remember who you used to be. Take advice here from others that are going through it too but ignore toxic posts and focus on filling your cup and others. Most of all take your time and go through the process. We've been told crying is weakness but I've cried a lot these past years and consider myself emotionally stronger than I've ever been.

Things will get better my dudes. Stay strong.

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u/AZdezertDude — 3 months ago