r/DivorcedDads

My former partner and I have already worked through the major decisions, so I originally thought the most difficult part of the process was behind us.

What I didn’t expect was how much time would go into simply understanding the filing process in Ohio.

I keep going through court instructions thinking I finally understand everything, and then I come across another form, requirement, or procedural detail that makes me question whether I interpreted the earlier information correctly.

The situation itself is relatively straightforward. There aren’t major disputes involved, which is why I initially assumed handling the process without extensive legal involvement would be manageable.

Instead, staying organized and making sure everything is completed properly has taken far more attention than I anticipated.

For anyone in Ohio who handled an uncontested divorce on your own:

Did the filing process become easier once you got started?

What part took the most time or attention?

Any advice for staying organized through everything?

At this point, the administrative side has honestly required more mental energy than I expected going into it.

I’m curious to read what you all say.

Ex is in OK.

I’m in TX.

Finally found an amazing woman, been with her 3 years, we just had a child. She is my rock.

Been divorced from my ex since 2017. Had my 3 kids 3 days a week until about 2023.

Paid alimony first 3 years + child support.

Now only pay child support.

No domestic violence. No child abuse. Nothing.

I did have a mental breakdown around 2023/24. Too many breakups with women, took it too personally, life spiraled. I went into travel nursing just to get on my feet again, cause I couldn’t get off the couch I was so depressed.

Ex took them full custody.

Everything was going good.

Could talk to the kids anytime. I texted and called them daily. Checked in. Visited often. Ex and I got along, but would squabble.

My ex and her new husband, he divorced in 2020 and was married to her by 2021.

I married my wife in TX in 2023 in a similarly quick time. Began the process of trying to incorporate her and my kids so I could be the cool Dad they visited in the summer.

Went to the beach in TX. Went to Arkansas. Went to OK. Then poof! It’s over. Kids don’t want to visit anymore and my oldest blocks me.

Went to court 24 and 25 to get something going.

Tried therapy reconciliation and a GAL. Just felt like the kids were being spoon fed what to say. I kept trying to figure out what happened. What was the issue? Never got an answer from them. Therapy went nowhere. Dragged. Stalled.

My oldest is old enough she doesn’t have to talk to me.

In 2026 I finally just asked my middle child, my son, through the talking parent app, “I’m being treated like a Dad that raped you or did hardcore drugs.”

He replies, “well you kinda did.”

I was like, “omg really?”

He states, “yeah you smoked a cigarettes once around us.” I was in the backyard. But yeah. That’s their mindset.

I ask to see them while I’m in town again for court, to go to dinner, the GAL says she tries but can’t convince them to go to dinner with me, even supervised.

I’m at a loss for words. They can’t even go to dinner with me?

My oldest admitted in court to being a cutter per the GAL. Things are not looking good.

Now, I got this offer to simply let them be adopted.

I pay 1108 for kids I can’t see and will never see.

Giving them up for adoption at least removes that obligation.

I got a text from my 12 year old daughter just now asking if she and my son had been added to the gym membership so they could use the pool. I told her I would get them added before the summer started and she said they wanted to be added sooner so they could use it on Monday for Memorial Day. They are with their mom on Mondays. The 3 of them get to go to the pool and have a good time as a family while I am on my own figuring out how to entertain myself for a day with the office closed for the holiday. A pool day sounds like a great family activity, but that's not possible anymore.

Last weekend I took the kids to a minor league baseball game and they had a great time. I kept thinking to myself it would have been nice to do as a family. Not possible anymore...

It's the small moments they don't talk about that sometimes hit you the hardest.

I’m sorry Georgie praying this I will admit I am drunk my ex-wife had sex while drunk with one of my best friends and now he stays with me. I told him he has to find a place by Thursday night so that I can deal with my own life. I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I know that tonight I either needed or wanted. I’m not totally sure to get to the point where I didn’t wanna deal with anything. can someone please give me advice by the morning when I wake up. You guys really mean a lot to me thank you.

Since this is trending on the front page for women, and there's much man bashing going on, I thought it only fair we get to tell our stories too.

Long story short I got asked for a divorce I moved back into my father's house to help him out financially and tbh neither one of us can afford a divorce but we have agreed to just pick a day after i start my new job and go the courthouse and do everything for the divorce by ourselves we live in illinois and we have agreed to a custom custody plan of summers with me but she gets him alternating weekends during the summer and every other weekend with me during the rest of the year, with alternating winter and spring breaks and that we would keep ourselves from badmouthing each other with the kid, and that our debts are ours im not going for her home since she owned it before she met me. My main question is if anyone has any advice on how the courts would feel if we both agree to everything in our divorce or custody plan? Are they usually good about that? If i cannot get him for the summers and the courts will not agree to this then what should be my next course of action? Tbh my home i feel would be a safer environment for him and I have proof to back it up.

So I messed up (read previous posts).

I want to post this because some of the decisions I have made the last few years after divorce have costed me a lot but in general not so much in terms of custody.

A few weeks after my last post a few years back when my final judgement was pretty beneficial to me, I made the stupid decision to try and work things out with my ex wife. Then came a snowball effect that landed me in the same place I was at in the first place, but much worse.

I will write in the next few days in detail but need to get my thoughts together. but a disclaimer to all you guys going through this: proceed with CAUTION if trying to reconcile with your ex wife.

I am sitting at home right now with my 3 young boys while my wife is at her boyfriend's house to "see how it feels". I am an absolute wreck. I told her if she does this that there is no coming back from this, separation starts tonight, she drove away (in my car) anyways.

A little backstory, I 36M have been with my wife 35F for 18 years married for 10. We have 3 boys 11,8,4. She was caught cheating in February by a member of her family, then later revealed to me that it's been happening since last summer. The affair partner was a close friend of mine, my kids called him uncle. I've noticed the inappropriate relationship for over 2 years and called it out then, but let it keep going. He came to my house on weekends and played with my kids. I've been nothing but loving and understanding since the reveal but have received nothing but anger and disrespect in return. This was the last straw. I feel like a ghost in my own body. The person I've loved half of my life has absolutely destroyed me with no remorse. I just need to be heard. Not sure how to carry on from here.

My divorce was not at my behest, and while I'm working on it I still hold on to anger and despair at the behaviour of my ex. That said, she only wanted 50:50 custody, 50/50 marital asset split, no pension sharing, no child or spousal support and clean financial break. On paper, the best possible outcome of a situation I didn't want.

As a person I am objectively better off than when I met her: though I'm 8 years older I'm fitter and healthier with better dress style, a good career and a much better understanding of what I want out of life. I have better and worse days emotionally, but largely a wobbly trend line upwards.

Unfortunately, when it comes to parenthood I'm starting to feel like a bit of a mess as the inertia of married-life routine and friendships is now totally gone.

We effectively separated in September when she moved into another room, and then she moved out in March. She'd already been seeing someone since January ("John Doe") and now has become explicit i.e. she's going on trips with my girls (4F,2F) with this guy, he is often at her house (I have to drive past to get to the nursery my kids go to, so even without emotional weight it's something I can't help but notice). I acknowledge that I cannot change or influence her behaviour - even if it's coming from a place of concern for my girls, it will only be received as personal criticism.

In terms of their mental health and development - all I can think is that I have to be the rock. My role is to be the stable, loving, present parent. No new figures in their lives, the same meals, the familiar routines, etc. I feel like this coasting is the most I can offer them at this time of change, but will it be enough?

With the random statement from my eldest that my ex is showing her make-up, that she and her new bf are going to the beach with the kids, etc. all start to make me worry that consistency may not be enough. I grew up with four brothers and five male cousins so I've never been party to girls growing and I'm scared that at best I'm going to be playing catch-up with mum and at worst I'm going to be edged out.

I love my girls, my eldest often says she misses me when we're not together and we almost always have a great time when we're together, but I've just got no confidence that the future is as good or better as single/divorced dad. I'm not saying it won't be - just that I can't see it.

Can anyone offer anecdote, advice, help, support?

Being a single parent at school events can feel uncomfortable when most people show up as couples. At first, you wonder if people were judging you. Over time, you will realize your child only cared that you are there cheering them on. Instead of focusing on what you lacked, focus on the love and support you are giving. Also learn not to compare your situation to others because every family looks different. Now, walk into those events with confidence, knowing you doing your best, and that is more than enough for your child.

TL;DR: it could be much worse, so be thankful it’s not.

After a year and a half of reflection and being on Reddit, I consider my self lucky because I was able to escape the depression and the feeling sorry for myself.

Life is hard taking care of two kids on my own even if it’s only half the time because I was a weekend dad before that. But no matter how hard it is, it’s so much better than it was when I was married.

My STBXW basically forced me to file. I was trying to keep the family together after I caught her in an EA. It took me three months to realize she did not want to be married to me anymore and that she was basically forcing me to file. I went through an emotional roller coaster during those three months as she begged me not to divorce her at first, but then continued to talk to the AP and would openly flirt with other men in front of me.

After filing, Reddit helped me realize that better men than me were cheated on and went through worse than I did. It gave me perspective.

So, for those of you that are still depressed and angry that your wife left, I urge you to have some perspective. It could’ve been much worse. She could have made life a living hell before filing. Not just for you but for your children as well. She would’ve done this because she wanted you to file because she didn’t have the guts to end the marriage and she did not want to be blamed for ending the marriage. So, now everyone thinks you’re the villain.

My wife and I have been separated for a year now, we have three kids. I moved out because she asked me too it was supposed to be temporary while we worked things out. I’m 100% permanent and total disabled from the va I had a part time job so I was giving her almost all my va check and was just scraping by. Well I got laid off and I told her I wouldn’t be able to give her as much for now and she got upset and said she couldn’t afford to live with less. I offered her moving back in together and just living in separate rooms and she said no she doesn’t want to move back in together but doesn’t want a divorce. I don’t know what to do now. Should I file for divorce I’ve been giving her 3000 out of 4500 up until now. I’m also in Texas if that matters for the divorce

I’m in my mid 40s. My wife is filing for divorce soon. I’m not sure what to do.
We will be living together for a while.
We probably won’t involve lawyers.

The actual relationship ending was difficult obviously, but I didn’t expect the administrative side to become its own source of stress

My ex and I agreed to keep things uncontested because there’s no major fight over money or property, so in theory this should be one of the simpler divorce situations possible

Instead I feel like I’ve entered some strange loop of researching forms, second-guessing timelines, reading county instructions, then immediately wondering if I misunderstood everything

The part that really gets me is how easy it seems to accidentally make small mistakes that can delay the process even more

and after already waiting through separation requirements, the idea of restarting paperwork because of technicalities is honestly exhausting

For anyone in North Carolina who handled uncontested divorce yourselves:

what ended up being more annoying - the waiting periods or the paperwork itself?

Right now it feels like the process is designed to test your patience more than anything else

Hey Gents.

Little back story:

31 and was kicked out of my place. Met my girl when I was 17 and we went through the gambit for 14 years. Shortly after having our first child she decided it wasn’t safe to have me in the house, instead of having police force me to leave I went and stayed with my aunt for a week. Long story short I found a place and was out within a few weeks. (Told me I needed to find accommodations October 20th, moved in November 7th) this was all fast and scary.

Current situation:

We have settled custody via a public defender. It’s joint but I had to settle with her having final decision making. (Fought down from sole) my ex makes 168k with annual 25% bonus and I make 38k. I agreed to an aggressive prenup when I was desperate and my mental health was in the drain for her to marry me, I plan to contest this. Over the course of our relationship our finances were split and she demanded weekly rent from me, ended up being around 400 a month, 300 towards the end. Which wasn’t enough in her mind and she has bashed me about. It’s what I could afford. Fast forward to now and she is demanding 100 a week in child support as part of the divorce. I want to support my child but I haven’t even established myself and am just starting my life over, focused on me for the first time, with no savings. She’s being aggressive, she had her lawyers send over a copy and pasted separation of property and estate. I was told by the local law library it was made for someone with a lot of money to just sign and agree to. I don’t have any money and it’s time I stand up for myself.

Conclusion and questions:

We are in NYS and she is trying to scare me by saying that I’ll have to pay more if we go to court. From what I’m seeing I should be the favored party based on income disparity… I think she’s in the wrong and she’s kept every big purchase in her name and is about to sell our old house worth ~400k. I want to sue for illegal eviction, I want to fight her and show how unfair she’s being. I have to try and get a loan for a retainer but I need to know what y’all think and if it’s worth it. I tried getting all info and angles of the situation here but if any clarity is needed please ask away.

Sat here on a depressing Sunday afternoon. My son went back to his mums earlier. As he does every other Sunday. It's been about 18 months since the break up but I still can't get over the feeling of saying goodbye, even though it's only for a few days, to my boy. I appreciate other dad's have it worse. But I can be having the best week, mentally, have the best weekend with me and my boy. But this sinking feeling on a Sunday afternoon won't shift. End up drinking myself to oblivion every Sunday. I've moved on from his mum. I've met someone who is perfect, so almost feel guilty for feeling so low as I don't want her to feel like she isn't enough. But knowing I'm not there with my son 24/7 kills me. What is wrong with me? Any help would be great. Thanks

Long story short, step father abused our daughter, 3 weeks later she moved in with a new partner without telling me. Fast forward several months court has ordered that there are to be no overnights until specialist services that they put in the order have been involved and I agree to overnights. I had concerns that ex weren’t taking recovery seriously and was just trying to move past it. Now been 4 months since that order and ex still hasn’t reached out to the service.

Ex now saying that I didn’t contact them either and she is taking me back to court.

Wouldn’t the action needed to be on ex to do not me?

It's been over 6 months since she left. Sent me an email. Blamed me entirely. Called Child Protective Services because of verbal argument weeks before. Dropped 5 years of resentments, called me controlling and manipulative and all this other stuff she never hinted at.

We have 2 kids (infant and a 3 year old) and she literally tried nothing to keep us together. Living at her parents now who now want nothing to do with me because of a one sided story she told them.

I may have to move 30 minutes away to keep 50/50. I may lose half my money. But I've definitely lost my only chance to have an intact nuclear family for my children. I don't know how I'll ever get fully better.

At the library now with my daughter and a guy walks in, wedding ring, 2 young kids, and I die again inside.

I can't get my head above water emotionally. Is the pain ever present to some degree? I'm broken forever?

My ex-wife hired an attorney after I submitted 8 exhibits of evidence total of 100 pages. I felt confident about winning 50/50 custody. Till this recently hearing our names got called I stood up and saw her attorney follow her to the front. I’m still confident about my case, how did you guys go about this and what did you do to win without an attorney? I can afford one but I’ll like a challenge. I’m told to hire one but I’m also told not too.