u/ChippyChalmers

It's been over 6 months since she left. Sent me an email. Blamed me entirely. Called Child Protective Services because of verbal argument weeks before. Dropped 5 years of resentments, called me controlling and manipulative and all this other stuff she never hinted at.

We have 2 kids (infant and a 3 year old) and she literally tried nothing to keep us together. Living at her parents now who now want nothing to do with me because of a one sided story she told them.

I may have to move 30 minutes away to keep 50/50. I may lose half my money. But I've definitely lost my only chance to have an intact nuclear family for my children. I don't know how I'll ever get fully better.

At the library now with my daughter and a guy walks in, wedding ring, 2 young kids, and I die again inside.

I can't get my head above water emotionally. Is the pain ever present to some degree? I'm broken forever?

It's been 6 months since she blindsided me with an email to end our marriage. I won't get into the details because it keeps me hooked to her and rumination.

When still together, I really enjoyed my solitude. If she took the kids to her parents for a night or 2 it was like a vacation. But I was happy because I knew they'd be back.

Now when I don't have the kids it feels like failure, because there's nobody choosing to come back to me.

Billions of people in the world and I've spent 36 years and still can't find one who sticks by me. Or even, who gives me the opportunity to repair. She just left and blamed me.

I see happy couples. Friends and their wives planning camping trips with their families. It feels like that normal life slipped through my fingers.

People say you need to learn to enjoy being alone but I always circle back to a feeling of being rejected. Chosen by her at first, seen for years, then rejected. I feel flawed. Hobbies. Friends. Children. Numbs the pain for awhile but a life partner is something nothing else can match. Someone who stays.

I feel like my healing journey would be expedited if I could remove the melancholy that arrives when I step back and realize I'm not chosen by anyone. My nervous system craves that romantic love and partnership

I think dating eventually will help. Abundance mindset etc. But it feels like an abandonment attachment wound I have. Not sure if there's reframing exercises or specific thoughts you guys can recommend to help me with these dark thoughts. Thanks brothers.

She left me 6 months ago. Looking back on my posts from the first few months I'm definitely healing. Cry less. See how disgusting her behavior is as opposed to blaming myself so much. I still battle with grief waves but they don't make me buckle to my knees and weep anymore. But when the sadness comes its quite disappointing. Feels like I'm stuck.

For those of you who don't know my story. We have 2 kids under 3 years old.

She left when our baby was 3 months. We had one exhausted argument one sleep deprived morning and she pretended everything was normal for weeks. Then went to her parents. Sent me an email and never came home.

She never brought up a single conversation about the state of our relationship in 6 years. Not once. Sent an email and then blamed me entirely. Unveiled a 5 year list of resentments about chore disagreements basically. Called me controlling and manipulative etc.etc. got her parents involved who then completely destroyed me verbally. She deleted all our photos, unfriends me on socials, rejects counseling, lawyers up. Done. Gone.

Who needs counseling or conversation when you can just destroy the family and blame the other person? Might have to move 30 minutes away once the kids start school my lawyer says. My life got nuked and I had no say.

I'm bitter. I'm hurt. I'm confused. But I'm still here.

I am going to a singles mixer next month just for the hell of it. Might jump on the apps later in the summer.

It hurts seeing all the happy couples now that summer is coming. Wedding rings everywhere.

I can only hope in 6 months I'll be even further along.