r/Divorce_Men

I've been divorced for 2 years. 49m. This may sound cruel but I'm rarely attracted to women my age. I've gone on some dates with women my age and we get along, they are cute but I don't have strong attraction to them. One of my biggest mistakes in my last marriage was that I was never very attracted to my wife. We were best friends before I proposed and I just assumed the attraction would build. So no I'm looking for a strong attraction which has been hard for me to find. I occasionally get matches on OLD for hot 28 to 35 years olds and I'm having a hard time getting the courage to ask them out. The fact their hot and younger is intimidating to me. I worry I won't have much in common to talk to them about. Anyone on here having luck dating younger women after divorce? Any tips?

Ex just texted me, angry that I had plans on my custody day. She’s going on vacation with my child early the next day, but beyond my approval of her plans tomorrow, she made no follow-up plans with me on the when & where. Remember, fellas: you’re not with them for a reason. Greywall means stick to plans & proof.
I had some early plans, so when she demanded an early pickup, I told her I didn’t see any specifics clarified between us, so we could do a little later one. Lots of insults to me. Greywall response from me: so you didn’t clarify plans on pickup? More insults. Cool, let’s stick to the facts: does 8 pm pickup work for you? More insults. Eventually 6 pm pickup was determined by her & threat to cancel my travel plans she had already approved. Didn’t retaliate with visceral crap—I’m no longer invested in her happiness. Her words have way less consequence than they used to.

Been gone two months, I endured physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, financial dishonesty, withholding sex for 6-8 weeks at a time, while she didn’t work, didn’t clean the house, and didn’t cook, told me I was a bad father etc
Since I’ve left she’s did nothing but blast me on social media, I hate her, I wish her suffering, I wish I had never met her. I gave her the most vulnerable and genuine parts of myself because I truly was committed to her, wanted it to work, wanted to choose her and love her, and now I feel like a broken man. I don’t believe in love anymore, definitely not getting married again. People automatically assume I was the bad guy because of her lies and for the simple fact I’m a man, fuck her, fuck society, fuck the world. Fuck all of this bullshit.

Good day folks,

The spouse has occasionally utilized sleep deprivation tactics to disrupt my sleep. This especially hurts when I volunteer early at church and at the homeless shelter on weekends. I have evidence that I am there volunteering. I also have evidence of loud noise late at night of up to 95 decibels. Noise cancelling earphones and sleep aids don’t work at that level of disruption. So I have resorted to sleeping at work when I need to volunteer early the next morning. I am also exploring a protection order and am still searching for a lawyer. Just wanted to check if this counts as abandoning the home or if she can spin it against me. I still keep the home clean, functional, and pay majority of bills. Thank you.

what should I do to forgot her?

I posted here about 8 months ago about my wife asking for a divorce. The divorce was amicable, and after that we had no contact for about 8 months. During that time, I thought I was healing and slowly getting over her.

About a month ago, she reached out and said she still likes me and wants to stay in contact. Since then, we’ve been talking occasionally about random things, and all those emotions came rushing back.

She really was an amazing wife, and I still can’t accept that I lost her. The thought of losing someone like her consumes me every day. Deep down, I still have hope because of these small conversations we’re having, but I don’t know if I’m just being delusional.

I’ve been hooking up with other women and drinking a lot, trying to distract myself, but at the end of the day, I just feel empty.

Any advice is welcome.

Got news that I need to sign the final divorce paperwork at the lawyers office. Not sure how I feel about it, it feels like a chapter is closing but I don’t see a chapter opening, at least I don’t feel like there is one. I have talked to her off and on since she moved out April 12, 2026 it seems she is moving on quicker than I am. I feel like I’m stuck back at pre separation. Maybe signing the divorce papers will help with that?

Just sharing a rant since know others of you can relate...

Been cohabitating with the wife (she ended it) for just over a year and waiting for her to stop dragging her feet on the final separation agreement. Anyhow just I removed her from my Costco, BJs Wholesale, Amazon, Youtube TV, and youtube premium memberships. I don’t know how long it will take for her to realize it but it felt so good just a week after she had an outburst and said “I don’t need you for anything” (total lie since she needs me financially but of course doesn’t count that). Thought to myself, “good luck out there independent woman”. The funny thing is she can’t really mention it to me without seeming like she is being needy. I’m just done pretending we are married and want to be free. I’m getting 50/50 custody and the house but this final cohabitation agreement is rough. Hoping it doesn’t drag out too much longer. I had mentally prepared for end of June but now that we are in July, this is rough.

42m here. Married for 15 years, together for 21, to my wife, who I think shows a lot of signs of having BPD. 2 kids together, 16 and 13. She got mad at me back in March about something small, and it escalated into her telling me to leave. I complied, so there would be no drama/tension in front of the kids. Sleeping in my car ever since then, picking up kids and going to hang out with them on what seems to be her terms. She wants a 24 hour notice before I come get them. I mean, c’mon. How is this supposed to work? I am so close to my kids, I’ve worked overnight shift for 14 years so I could be there. Get them ready for school in the mornings, take them to school, pick them up after. Everything. Make dinner, do dishes, go get fast food, whatever it may be. I lay in my car and cry myself to sleep thinking about not being around them. I haven’t seen them go to sleep or wake up in almost 4 months. I’m devastated. I feel like my bond is still very strong with them, and it seems like they are normalizing this way of life. She has been a SAHM for almost 17 years. I know what I need to do, but I’m getting cold feet on getting started. The house is in my name, so I guess I would get that. I dream of a day where I have the house, 50/50 custody minimum, and her gone. It’s just the fear of the unknown if I file. I am at my breaking point, I can’t do this anymore. My kids are my life, so not being with them is killing me. I would like some outside perspectives on this. The kids are old enough to choose where to live also maybe? I am in WA state. Thank you Reddit community. You’re the best.

What were some of the challenges that you faced whilst being divorced? Did you ultimately find someone more compatible than your ex partner ?

Unfortunately, I think I am going through this divorce stage now. Nervous about how it’s going to be like finding someone again. Age 32

Honestly I just need someone to tell me that this will get better. Everything is do is bad and and attack or not taking accountability yet i destroyed myself as her word was gospel. Worthless, cop out tbh i cant write it out but my son... im not allowed to see him but told I can anytime and im not making effort but blocked or told no.

I honestly just want to end it... give her the house as she demands and just accept that shes right im a fuck up and deserved all I got.

I dont want to be a statistic but I dont see why I should fight. She said shes better off and I lost my family.

She told me this by text yesterday. I replied, “so where and when are you leaving?”

I feel like my brain is burnt out from constantly being vigilant to whatever my soon-to-be-ex is throwing at me through this divorce. I feel like a husk of a human being.

The latest: she's planning to introduce our son to her new partner, then have him move in just a month later. My son is 9 and struggles with new people and new situations even under the best of circumstances. This is not that.

I'm so exhausted from having to protect him from her. I wish he had a mom who didn't put herself ahead of him. I wish I didn't have to constantly deal with her bullshit.

I've been on disability leave because this divorce has put me in a bad mental place. The disability support people I've talked to have pointed out how much of a toll it's taking on me to constantly deal with her behavior. I have to give 150% all of the time. Our son deserves better.

I'm just so fucking tired. Needed to vent.

And if the trolls that come here and defend the narc could just skip over this thread, that would be amazing.

So been near 12 months since me and my stbxw separated after I caught her fucking around and threw her out. Done lot of self stuff in the good way and also done a lot of the stuff guys on here say not too. I'm in my home,y grown ass kids decided to stay with me rather that their mum. I have the house, the pets and the kids. I managed to get past the whole hate, bitter, angry shit a couple of months ago, wasn't pretty after a 25 year marriage blowing up but I've been very happy recently.

Background shit out the way, I'm a 45 year guy, very active life again, hobbies, friends, things I used to love before the marriage, they've all flooded back as has my confidence. I'm no Brad pit but I'm in decent shape, look I've been told eay 30s by a few female friends.

Last few weeks a local woman from my local bar started to flirt. I'm not one for playing games etc, I like her and we get in so flat out asked if she wanted a date. She was very quick to say yes and we are planning a date next week.

The big thing is yes I'm a 45m but she is a 25f, I've not issue with liking her as we've one way or another known each other for a while. I'm not even that fussed about what others say but my only worry is that this is actually my first date since my 25 year marriage ended and I'm sort of not just out of my comfort zone dating but to be dating a woman whom is barely older than my son.

Is this stupidity or just 2 normal adult who get on going for a first date?

I have been married to my wife for 8 years now (37M 35F). She is very devoted to me and we have a 5 year old boy. The marriage has been quite rocky, and we have had a lot of great memory. My wife is the hottest woman I have been with and she is quite hard working, competent and devoted to me. I truely believe she loves me 100%, I never have a shadow of doubt on her love or commitment to me.

As of late, I have grown apart from her, a lot of it comes down to my crave and desire to be single, I don;t find much joy being a married man, despite I am with an amazing woman. And I started to think and planning for my next phase of life without her. And I looked back at lovers in the past, there were 2 women I believe are more suited as a marriage partner despite they were never put into test as my wife has been. I start to have a lot of doubt on our marriage, will I be happy if we stay married, I will keep wondering what life is like being single, and open to new opportunities. I feel I am trapped in this marriage and the discontent is growing louder in my mind. I understand every marriage goes into phases, and it ebbs and flows.

We had a full blown crisis one month ago when I developed limerence over a previous lover and it had become an obsession over her. I realised my love towards my wife wasn't that much and I prefer other woman as a marriage partner and I started to have doubts over our future.

The divorce is going to be very traumatic and expensive. But I will be a free man again. I am really trying to get a perspective from fellow divorced man, is getting a divorce worth it for freedom, is being a divorced man not what it is cracked to be?

She left me, I did everything I could to make it work. I’m the one who is gonna have to leave the house and find an apartment I can’t afford. In a town I hate. I don’t own a bed or couch, or pots and pans, or silverware. I won’t see my son everyday. I have no family to lean on and I lost this one too.

A lot of the posts here are from men who are struggling with loneliness and despair, and I completely understand the reasons for that.

But I’m curious… Are there any success stories? Specifically from men who were married for a long time, and got divorced in middle age?

I’m 53 (yeah, technically past middle age) and my wife filed a couple of months ago after decades of marriage. It absolutely caught me off-guard. I never expected to be single at this phase of life.

I have a good job, I’m aging well, and I’m fit. One of my best female friends, after learning I was getting divorced, told me I was “a catch” and would have no problem forging new relationships if and when I’m ready to. Had this happened 15 years ago, I’d have been more optimistic about my future. But in my 50s, I’m not so sure.

I’d love to hear from guys who got divorced at, say, 45 or older and were able to maintain active social/dating lives. And maybe what your techniques were for doing it…

I posted about 10 days ago that we had the talk and she said she didn't want the house, car, or kids, just $$$.

Well you guys must all be clairvoyant because sure enough lawyers are lying to her and she wants it all.

Tldr: our house is in my parents name. We rented, they bought it, we signed a new lease with my folks. All payments have been from my paycheck so marital funds but she wants half equity. My parents said they don't want to sell and give us the proceeds to split. What will happen in court in CA? Also what happens to lawyer fees if we have no assets or cash? Stressed tf out

We tried to sit down and work out an agreement. She balked at everything and said "lawyers wanna take you for a ride", "you have advanced degrees so support will be based on your earning potential", also "i can take my name off the car since I have no income and all debt belongs to you including my lawyer fees so why should I mediate anything"

We have nothing but debt. The house is in my parents trust. Always has been although it was purchased after we were married. My parents said they love her but she can't stay without me and they're not selling the house and giving us the proceeds to split. She is going to try and fight that the down payment and all mortgage payments, insurance, and tax payments have been from marital funds.

Without a house we have no assets to split. What happens to the lawyer fees? Will they fight tooth and nail to get her some of the equity? I'm stressed tf out

I'm struggling more than I ever have in my life, and I honestly don't know how to get through this.

My marriage has ended. It wasn't out of nowhere—I was incredibly unhappy and made bad choices that lead to it, and I take full responsibility for that. I want her to be happy in life... But that doesn't change how devastating this has been, and how much I wish I could turn back the clock.

Over the last few days, she has blocked forms of communication, and then when the communication does start again it is a barrage of spiteful messages. I have two young kids (5 and 3), and not being able to see them every morning or speak to their mum in a civil fashion has been one of the hardest parts of all of this.

She's moved my belongings out of the house we've shared for seven years, still asking for money for the house, closing accounts, and everything that represented our life together seems to be disappearing overnight. It feels like I'm watching my entire life being dismantled while I'm powerless to stop it.

The grief and guilt became so overwhelming that I reached the point where I attempted to end my life last month. I can't go back to work, I'm still struggling with suicidal thoughts. I'm seeing a psychologist, and right now I'm taking things one day at a time but fuck man ..

I'm usually quite a strong person, mentally. But I'm barely sleeping. I can't think straight. One minute I want to train or keep myself busy, and the next I'm sitting in my car crying. I drove four hours away yesterday with the intention of ending it somewhere I wouldn't be found, but a good friend intervened. I swing between guilt, regret, extreme anger, loneliness and complete hopelessness.

The hardest part is accepting that the future I thought I had is gone. I don't know how to stop thinking about what I've lost or how to imagine a life that doesn't include my wife and kids under the same roof.

I'm not writing this because I want sympathy, and I don't want to hear the "you deserve this" bullshit. I know that and I'm struggling with it, hard. I'm writing it because I want people to understand how completely this has broken me. Maybe someone on here will recognize who I am and reach out, but I am so numb.