Last night I went to my 8 year old daughter’s softball game. It seemed like everything was ok. Ordinary game with ex and her parents there. Her mom said nothing to me the whole game but she had volunteered to keep score so she was busy.

So we all get up to leave when it was done and I went to get my 5 year old ‘s school backpack she left in my truck so she’ll have it for school today. The 8 year old and her mom took the van while the 5 year old was in her grandmas car. They were all going to McDonald’s for dinner, her parents even asked me to come along but I had to be up at 5 this morning and I wanted to get home to get some sleep. My ex’s mom waved me over after ex left and asked why I got my ex-wife nothing for Mother’s Day.

The girls did a little Mother’s Day art project for her, the materials for which were $15. And I bought them a card to sign and to give her. Feels like that was adequate on my part, especially since last year all I got was framed pictures of the kids and no card for Father’s Day from her, my mom who is almost 80 got me a card and even bought me a $50 gift card from the kids. I like having photos of my kids but I already had a bunch of them, bare minimum effort there on her part. And this was after I bought her a personalized $60 gift for Mother’s Day last year from the kids.

The divorce is long over but she still lies about me to her family to make me look bad. I just don’t understand where all this hostility came from. Maybe it’s that her mom and brother and his kids didn’t agree with her divorcing me. Maybe it’s that she’s such a mess still while I have everything in my life in order. Maybe it’s that the older girl noticed everything going on and tells the younger girl “Mommy was mean to daddy and made him move out.” And that the kids love being with me.

I think the best way to handle it is to say nothing about it to her, I’m just done with her shit and she probably wants to start a fight. The kids see me enough to know their mom is dishonest about me. Her family and mine thinks she’s full of shit. Why even waste time on this sort of crap? How would you handle it? Or would you just do and say nothing about it and not give her the fight she wants.

Will be moving into an apt soon. Buying mostly new stuff for my son’s room who I’ll have half the time. Got any tips for making it feel like home for him?

I had hoped that after 2 years of divorce I'd be able to deal with my anger towards my ex and start building a life where I could be happy and get past the endless guilt trips that my ex put me through. It's almost feels just as bad as when we were together. Like she still has her claws in me. I pay her $7k a month in alimony and child support. I have a daughter in college. She got a full ride for volleyball so tuition is free but there are still room and board costs. I cant afford to pay for her room and board but I do pay for her car insurance, phone, medical insurance and some spending money. Now my son is leaving for college and because I've been financially devistated I cannot pay for his college. I also pay for his car insurance, phone and medical. Both kids have my debit card that they use for food and costs that come up. I feel so guilty that I can't help more even though I didn't get a dime from my parents after I graduated highschool. Whenever my ex calls I know it's going to be something about money. She complains that I don't help even more with the kids college expenses. Says things like "so your going to be an asshole and cut your kids off financialy". Constantly reminds me of how much her parents have paid towards their college. I tell her if I didn't have alimony I could help more. All this why I live in a shitty apartment while she lives in a $1.6 million home her parents bought her and she does nothing to get a job. She makes me feel guilty and ashamed I don't help my kids more even though I do what I can. I turn all this inward and just feel so terrible about myself. My kids spend most holidays and bdays and vacations with my ex family because they are wealthy and can afford expensive parties and vacations. They control with money. I wish I could get past this feeling of inadacuecy but it just keeps driving me further into depression. I feel like all I am is $ to them. I don't know how to get beyond this.

Disclaimer this is a long post.

TLDR my wife just left me

I am 43 and my wife is 40 I live in California. She’s from Quebec Canada. We met on a dating app 2+ years ago dated remotely for six months and got married. I’ve been previously married and she had been through some long-term relationships that did not work out so both of us thought that this might be a good match however problems were showing up right from the start, I might be set in my ways while she is very much a “my way or highway” person. A defining feature of our marriage has been that upon every big fight she would through divorce at me and then we will reconcile. She continued to live in Quebec until January 2026 when she finally moved to California . I suggested to her that we should live and adjust together for a few months before we try to conceive, but as usual, she threatened divorce so I acquiesced . we got pregnant in February 2026 and I thought this life event might change our relationship for the better. I was shocked when upon our first fight after the pregnancy news, she booked her tickets and said she was leaving the same day . then she cooled down. two weeks later we had a fight and she packed up her bags and was ready to leave, but then we again reconciled. This happened a couple times more later. meanwhile, we filed her immigration to get her a green card . I could always sense that her heart was still in Quebec, where she has her family. here in California I don’t really have a lot of family and I used to live by myself before she moved here. I think all of this stacked up against our marriage, even though she wouldn’t admit it directly and would always just blame me for everything. I will say that we had a good time for the last three months .we have our own house and I’ve been trying to provide household stuff within my financial bounds and getting her an expensive gift that she wanted. fast forward to May 2026 when her parents came to visit for a week. We had a good time with her parents, taking them around to meet their other family in California until their last day here when my wife and I had some altercation and she threatened to leave as usual and got her parents involved. within 15 minutes her parents decided that they wanted to divorce and they had her pack up her bags and to my shock, they left at 10 PM the day before their scheduled flight . They booked her ticket as well to take her along with them. under US law leaving the country naturally abandoned her green card application as well. .They told me that they would file a divorce. since she has left I have messaged and called her several times to no avail. My mother has done the same . at this point she would’ve gotten her blood work report and would’ve found out the gender of the Child but I have no idea what the results are. She’s 13 weeks pregnant at the moment.

My mind is in a storm. I go back-and-forth between the potential pathways in my life. If she divorces me, I’d have to deal with loneliness once again, which I had thought I had left behind for good . loneliness perhaps is the thing I hate the most on this planet. plus I’ll be stuck paying child support for 18 years which normally I wouldn’t mind but knowing my wife, I know she will spend most of that money on cars and dresses. I still want to have a settled family so I’m very worried what match I’m gonna find when I turn 45 or 46 .

on the other hand if somehow she chooses to continue in this marriage and moves back to California with the child later this year how can I trust that she won’t do this kind of thing again . I’ve been vocal with her and her family that mistakes happen from both sides and that I am taking responsibility for mine and will work on those, but I never have heard such a thing from her or her family i.e. they don’t accept their mistakes . given her pattern so far I can’t tell whether she’ll again decide to divorce me next year or in 3 to 5 years . if that happens, not only will I be stuck with child support, but she also might take a substantial portion of my home which I am hugely attached to. I grew up really poor and I’ve built this house with my sweat and blood.

I am at such a fork in life that I can’t figure out which pathway is better for me . Honestly even if divorcing her is the better option I am so lonely every day that I cant muster the courage to file the papers. since I’m an immigrant in this country my own family is back home and only visit me occasionally. in summary, I don’t know which of these options is less bad for me.

STBXW had to go into the office today. She’s been in meetings and whatnot all day so she wasn’t looking at her phone.

Apparently her mom couldn’t reach her so instead of being a rational fucking person and asking me if I had heard from her daughter, she sent the cops to our house.

Now why am I annoyed by this in particular? I have never once done anything to my wife or anyone that would warrant getting the cops called on me. So what on earth is she telling her mom? YOUR daughter cheated on me. I have not wronged her in anyway.

This also really upsets me because I am a large black male. Cops aren’t always so patient with people that look like me. Her mom is also black and aware of this dynamic. Why would you put my life at risk potentially? Fucking ridiculous man. I’m fuming.

STBXW called and asked if anyone had knocked on the door. I said no, she said her mom sent the police and they just so happened to show up right after that. I called her back and told her this is absolutely ridiculous. Her response was “I’m sorry, but I can’t control her.” Clearly you can because whatever the fuck you’ve been telling her made her think your life is in danger. I CANNOT wait to sell this fucking house and be free from this family.

Any diaper change I do, while we are simply conversating about our day. When I tell her what happened during my parenting time (we still live together), anything else I do or say she's recording. Did anyone else have to deal with this? She's drawing this divorce out as much as she can so she doesn't have to move.

She says she is stressed out but isn't doing anything any the stress, just stress eating everything.

Did you get screwed after she used recordings in court? I don't say anything horrible on the record but it's so an invasion of my privacy. She's trying to use anything against me to get full custody but there is nothing she can use physically.

Please help?

Hey all,

So, my ex and I have cohabited a long while after (and through) the divorce. We will have 50/50, and she is a few weeks out now from moving out. The last few weeks, she has actually been trying to do more with the kids, and this afternoon offered (to them) to take them to an extracurricular I normally handle. She then told me that maybe I could use a night to myself. She also mentioned taking them to a movie soon.

Most of our marriage, it was almost impossible to get her to get out and actually do things with the kids on her own. I should feel relief and hopeful that she's actually stepping up with them more. But I mostly feel either resentful or worried. Resentful for the fact that, during the marriage, I begged her to do more with them and was met with indifference. The worry, I think is mostly that it either won't last, that it's not genuine, or that maybe I'll just, I don't know, no longer feel as needed or something. I should be happy, it's good for them. I'm working through it. But it just feels off, and a warning light is going off somewhere. Is there something to that at all? In general she cares for them, but is pretty detached in overall.

I

For context, I’m a father of a teenager and a toddler, and all three of us are on the autism spectrum. I’m also an Iraq war vet and have multiple disabilities and PTSD - which my soon to be ex knew before getting married. She’s leaving me because she’s “lost herself” and no longer wants to live a life with someone limited by both physical and mental disabilities.

With that said, this is so damn painful - both for me, and for my kids. They didn’t ask to have their lives torn apart, and my heart aches seeing them try to navigate this new reality. For me, the pain is knowing that the person who was my rock decided that I’m no longer worth loving, in large part because she doesn’t like the lifestyle we live.

The pain has morphed into anger. I understand that’s part of the process, I’m not trying to repress it, but I need a healthy way to cope with it. I go to the gym, but currently that’s not enough. I don’t want to turn to alcohol or worse.

So how did you cope with the pain of divorce?

I have read several reports that men are lagging behind in college/university education compared to women. Even on my LinkedIn many of my posts in my feed are from high-end professional women in C-level careers, such as banking, media, HR, medical and finance. Do more working-class men need to pursue college to keep up? White collar jobs require, at the bare minimum, a BA/BS degree. I know it is anecdotal but I've seen this on my LI for quite some time.

Having a good career, in some cases (but not all) should help men in their quest to be the protector/provider. I also know not everyone is on the same path, etc. But being financially stable post-divorce would improve your odds after dating.

My daughter is nine and my son is six. My wife and I have agreed on everything but neither of us knows how to have this conversation with them. Dreading it more than anything else in this whole process, and I also need to file with a local attorney

Long story short, my wife wont trust me amd wont forgive things which happened before marriage. What she accuses me of before marriage has never ever repeated even once post marriage. Its been 7 years since marriage

Recently I got to know from her very own words that my phone was cloned by her. I believe my marriage is breaking down and I need an exit. I want to file for divorce but knowing her very well she wont agree. What can be done. Ive a 4 year old daughter and all my investments are in my wifes account, since she wasn't earning member I thought ill save tax on dividends. Im ready to take entire expenses of my daughter for the rest of my life, but need to exit this marriage before things turn out to be ugly. Please advise

Can't sleep again. Figured I'd dump this somewhere. (Don't try to find us, details changed, blah blah.)

Two years ago if you'd told me the best part of my custody weekends would be kicking a muddy ball around the yard behind my apartment until we're all sweaty and yelling about made-up fouls, I would've laughed in your face. I was still in that mode where I had to make every single minute "count." Like if we weren't doing something big and expensive I was failing as a dad.

Then Jake (he's 14 now) got real quiet in the car one Sunday after we did the whole zoo + dinner thing. Ellie (11) straight up passed out before we even got back. Next pickup Jake just looks at me and goes, "Dad can we please not do a ton of stuff this weekend? My legs are still killing me." That one hurt. Like actually stung.

So I swallowed my pride and bought this cheap pop-up soccer goal off Marketplace. Set it up and everything. First time we played like 15 minutes tops before they got bored. But I left it out there. Next weekend they actually asked to play again. Now it's just... a thing. No score, no real rules. Ellie keeps changing them and getting mad when we don't follow. I dive for balls like an idiot and usually eat grass. Sometimes we play till it's too dark to see the ball. Other times we quit after ten minutes and just sit there picking at the grass talking about random stuff.

It's weird how that one cheap goal led to other low-key things that actually work. We "fish" at this sad little pond nearby with $12 rods and hot dogs for bait. We catch almost nothing. Jake told me about some girl he likes while we were sitting there. Ellie complained about her soccer coach. I mostly just nodded and tried not to say the wrong thing.

We've also been building cheap model kits. Not the fancy ones. The $15 ones where the glue gets everywhere and the instructions aren't great. Jake wanted to make a popsicle stick trebuchet after watching some video. It barely launched a marshmallow and then fell apart in the driveway. We all cheered like it was the Super Bowl.

I don't know. It just feels less like I'm "performing" dad now. We're just... here. Being bad at stuff together. No tickets, no lines, no coming home completely wrecked. When they go back to their mom's they're not totally fried. And they don't show up at my place expecting a big production anymore.

I still slip back into the old guilt mode sometimes and start planning bigger stuff. Old habits die hard I guess. But I'm trying to stick with the simple things more. Kick the ball. Cast the line. Glue some plastic wrong. Burn the pancakes. The boring, repeatable stuff is where they actually relax and I feel like their dad instead of the weekend activity director.

Divorce already took enough normal days from them. I don't need to fill the gap with nonstop excitement. They need to know life at Dad's can just be normal. Sweaty and silly and sometimes sitting quietly waiting for fish that never bite.

Anyway. If you're in the middle of it and stressing about making every weekend perfect... try lowering the bar on purpose. Worst case you waste twenty bucks. Best case you get something that actually sticks.

Still figuring this out. Yard soccer might be the first thing in a long time that doesn't feel completely wrong.

Gonna try to sleep now. Hope you all are hanging in there.

I’m divorced with kids. I was dating a woman I l really liked (she also liked me). However, my ex wife either blocked her on SM or the new woman blocked my wife. Any who, this caused issues with my ex wife because she believed the new woman was trying some treacherous things. Both women showed proof that they didn’t block each other. My ex showed me in real time and the new woman sent screenshots. My ex called the new woman a liar and made accusations of the new woman for trying to create a new family with me. My ex all but demanded I break up with this woman. I didn’t. However, due to the drama. The new woman broke it off with me. Citing that the ex will make it hard on me and any woman moving forward. I’m hurt because I liked this woman and I tried to be transparent and it blew up in my face. That said, moving forward I’m telling my ex anything in my personal life until I want to. Sorry for the rant.

Hi all. I'm embarrassed and grieving and frankly need to know if I'm crazy. I'm going through a divorce and I'm f***ing struggling. My wife/partner of 8 years (3 years married) shows covert narcissistic and grandiose traits which led to me walking away, in conjunction with my step daughter who was highly manipulative and fed into her mothers blind loyalty. It sucks as I love her and her kids but... it was destroying me. I was a husband and I'm just distressed...

(I am in therapy and have been for years to work on childhood trauma, actually going to try a Jung focused therapist since I moved)

The straw that broke the camel's back was her lying to me about a miscarriage. There is a lead up to this so give me a chance. I ended having a vasectomy. I didn't want kids (or was on the fence) and my wife was older and she kind of laid into me about health reasons for her leading up to the vasectomy. To the point of no intimacy or extreme guilt. I said okay because I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize her health and wanted her back. There was one point when we had a serious conversation about kids because we had some moments where I was on the fence, we watched her nephew and niece a bunch when they were toddlers and we felt like a team in a way we aren't with her kids (even though one of them called me dad sometimes and they would introduce me as dad/stepdad to friends, etc). The conversation went to the effect of she didn't want more but... if I wanted them she would have them with me. After my moments of being on he fence because I had never seen her so happy and I never felt so connected with her. I ended up agreeing with her wanting a vasectomy because she had been pushing her health concerns and frankly i didn't want what felt like a temporary feeling to grow into her straight up resenting me. I go on to have the vasectomy, she is over the moon and seems to love me or be emotionally connected again. Some months later we're having dinner with a friend and they start talking about trying for a kid and drops that they had a very early miscarriage (IDK the term). My stbx wife drops that she had one to the point she thought we were going to have a kid and acted like it was nothing. This was THE first time I heard this but she then tried to convince me that we had a conversation about it and it wasn't a big deal... I was devastated. I drop it and step away. Later that night I try to talk to her about it and she lays into me about how we talked about it. I know we didn't and she had been trying to convince me of things not happening more and more. I eventually go on to push her on it and she admits that she hid to from me for a long time and she kept pushing off telling me until it snowballed for 6 months to a year (the worst part is I don't even know). Coincidentally after I had my vasectomy. In retrospect I think I know when it happened and she openly lied to me about how what was happening was nothing, but I didn't have any reason to push the issue. So much was going with the kids and problems we were having with her daughter. on I had never had any time to process it. To add insult to injury I had stepped away from my budding marketing career so she could take a huge promotion that required immense travel to the point of being gone for 1/4 to 1/2 the month for 6 months straight.

I'm distressed because I didn't get to grieve with her. I feel shame because I was made to feel like she couldn't tell me when I've been nothing but supportive. I'm truly distraught that she convinced me to get the procedure without the conversation. I feel lied to and violated. (I believe in body autonomy and am pro choice and was before this) We ended up in couples counseling over a variety of things but came to a head when 90% of what we were talking about was turned into "What does it even matter" and no compromise... I didn't even realize that she lied about all this stuff to get me to have the vasectomy and until I walked it didn't sink in. I never realized my heart knew and that my brain refused to process it,

I feel like a crazy person and just betrayed. I know the procedure is reversible but there is also a 10 year success time frame it seems like. How do I ever trust someone like that again? I just feel f***ed emotionally. I feel cheated out of being a father..

I'm absolutely blessed to have my friends and sister helping me emotionally recover but I am just in shock of about the "what does it even matter" of the situation... The worst part is my brain is trying to convince me she could want to work on herself but my heart is just broken and knows there is no way back home.

I hope you all are okay and recovering.

SHIT I meant might NOT actually divorce

I posted this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1678528/so_my_wife_decided_that_enough_as_enough_we_will/

As we were about to move, stress was at its highest.

Well, things were better at the new house. I ended up only painting my daughter's office, and the move really did go relatively well.

My wife's stress was that she was seeing that I was telling my daughter's friend it would be "easy" and it was relatively easy.

Now, that isn't 100% true. He sucked, but I ruled. My daughter and her boyfriend were supposed to help, but they kept going on breaks.

I undid our boxes in record time, including the books that stressed her out, and our daughter and her boyfriend took MONTHS to undo theirs.

Slowly, my wife began to see that her #1 cause of stress wasn't me, but rather, our daughter.

Our landlords, after only 5 months, begged us to leave: his business went bankrupt, and we needed to move again (3 months later). I kid you not!

But things were different. My wife was more aware of which stress was caused by me and which by our daughter and her boyfriend (both lived with us).

She couldn't emotionally blame our kid; they are our kid, so she blamed me.

Well, at that new house, my daughter's emotional balance collapsed. We began to notice weird behaviors and realized something.

Our daughter is BPD... and is pushing my wife and me against each other to do nothing.

Whispering comments to my wife (her mother) like, "Don't you think Dad has too many books?"

My mother-in-law died. She said before dying that she wanted to help her granddaughter get a car. My MIL suggested to us to give her like $5000 from her money to help get a used car.

Our daughter learned of it, and began feeding fears into my wife that a used car can break down, and if our kid gets stuck on the side of the road, she might be raped or something. Feeding fears in her mother.

To me, she would feed me how responsible she is (she isn't).

All so that she would get $35,000 for an electric car.

We soon realized that not only if we talked to each other, my wife and I, could we see through it, but we saw in our daughter's discord that she was bragging to her friend about how she was manipulating us and how she had been doing it for years

This was eye-opening!

We stopped reacting to her attempts and began sticking to each other. Things got worse with our daughter as she began calling us all sorts of names (calling her mother a bitch, and me an idiot for putting up with her).

Well, we put our feet down, and she stopped talking to us and, a few months later, moved out.

We moved twice since then (in one move, it took her and me only 90 minutes to load all our boxes, and we realized that a lot of the junk she thought we had was our daughter's), so things are slowly going up.

I quit the job I had and resumed our (my wife's and my) former company, and I am doing well! My wife was shoved into another department at her job, one that was very hostile and toxic, and she decided to quit and now is working with me at my company.

She is still sick, but we work well together. Before all our problems, we had our company, and I only switched because we were both sick.

But I am not sick anymore, and I am doing well enough for both of us to live on our company.

She is still sick, and her own output is perhaps 20% of what she could do, but every bit helps.

We even have sex a few times per month!

BUT, we lost our daughter. Zero contact, zero messages. We are all alone, with only a few friends we barely see.

I am in therapy for that. My wife tried it, but her issues are still too strong, but her anxiety is dropping quickly.

I don't have my old wife quite back, but she is in a better mood, and we are still sleeping in the same bed.

So, hopefully it's progress?

I came here a month or so ago looking for support as my 26-year-old son went through divorce proceedings. Your comments were very helpful not just in helping me to support him, but also because seeing similar stories let him know he wasn't alone.

When my son finally let us in, it was almost too late. He was, in his words, in a very dark place and having some very dark thoughts.

If your marriage is breaking down and the red flags below are happening to you, reach out for help. There are people who love you, who see what's happening, and who want to be there for you. Don't allow yourself to be cut off from them when you need them the most.

1. Whenever you express concerns about something she's said or done, it leads to a fight that morphs into somehow being your fault. Her goal is to make you question yourself and doubt your reality.

2. When something positive happens to you, she belittles it. Maybe she shames you for thinking it's a big deal, or maybe she says it only happened to you because of her. Her goal is to wipe out your self-esteem.

3. Whenever you seem to be enjoying yourself, whether that's with friends, family, hobbies, or even a simple conversation with a stranger, she picks a fight. Her goal is to ensure you only focus on her.

4. She tries to drive a wedge between you and your friends/family through making derogatory comments, shaming you for your relationships, attempting to sow gossip, lying, etc. Her goal is to break down those relationships and make you feel unloved and alone.

5. She monitors your phone, email, etc., ensuring that she's a part of every interaction. Her goal is to make sure you have no chance to give or receive information or support.

Once you question yourself and doubt your reality, once your self-esteem is gone, once all forms of enjoyment are gone, once you feel unloved and alone, once you're isolated from everyone who can help, you're at your most vulnerable.

Don't let that happen. Reach out for help.

Five years into this BS. My ex opened with false allegations that were fully investigated and dismissed by both the police and sheriff five years ago accusing me of violence and trying to off her and the kid. These allegations never even made it to court.

Now my 10 year old daughter told the GAL that I hit her and grabbed her by the neck.

I’m completely lost. My daughter and I have an incredible relationship. She’s my princess. She calls me constantly, cries when we’re apart, and I treat her with nothing but gentleness. She draw me hearts and letters everyday, I am the world to her. I have never hurt her not once.

No she told the GAL “daddy was angry and grabbed me by the neck,” I had to take it seriously even though I have no memory of anything like that. When I asked her about it privately, her story changed three times. At one point she said I lifted her by the neck which physically doesn’t even make sense, and there were no injuries.

My honest belief is that something happened while we were playing maybe I held her arm too firmly during a game, something she didn’t think twice about and over time my ex shaped that into something else until my daughter genuinely believes it. I’m not calling her a liar. I think she believes what she’s saying, and that’s what makes this so hard.

I sacrificed everything to secure this 50/50 arrangement. Left a good job. Drained my entire retirement and 401k. Five years of fighting. And now that I’m broke and representing myself pro se, my ex is filing this, on top of claiming I don’t attend enough field trips and skip activities she enrolled our daughter in without my consent and that conflict with my work schedule.

How tf am I supposed to fight that.

Don’t explain yourself → you’ll look guilty
Don’t just deny it → you’ll look like you’re not taking it seriously

I genuinely don’t know which way to go with the GAL. Has anyone been through something like this? How did you handle it?

Hello brother. Unpopular pro se veteran of the sub here. Yes I know, I am not actually legally divorced as I was never legally married, but I have seen some shit. Hear me out. I do legitimately want children to have their father in their life, I didnt really have a father and I often wonder how my life would be different if I had... I have spent probably over 1000 hours fighting to remain present (and my ex has spent >100k in attys fees fighting me) in my 5yo daughter's life.

One of the basic messages passed around the sub is always start with 5050 timesharing. I must emphasize that completely. Always start with 5050 timesharing, if you dont, you'll be multiple years into litigation just trying to obtain the equal timesharing that was stipulated as the "goal" in your parenting plan. This will happen to you if your ex is demented and thinks fathers are nothing more than wallets. I've completely lived it. I have been actively litigating to get more timesharing against a parenting plan that said I do get 5050 timesharing as a "goal". Contempt attempts 4x just for following basic court orders. I have had some success, I do have 35% timesharing today, now, but the the most recent ruling for me: "this parenting plan does accurately describe the timesharing for respondent when he completes step up, I therefore cannot find petitioner in contempt" and "there is no pathway to 5050 described by this plan, so it's unclear and I cant enforce any of this section".

The parenting plan said 35% timesharing was required after completion of step up. My ex held me at a 27% schedule for literally a year while the court figured it out after I filed for contempt. She did this because it maximized child support - she collected maximum child support the whole time, even after the state began paying for her daycare - that's 800/mo that was part of the calculation which was not correct. Do you think she ever requested CS be changed the entire time? You know the answer. This person is a government official but apparently not above outright fraud.

I have had to continue suing- if the court finds rhe parenting plan unenforceable, it must describe the timesharing I am supposed to have with a schedule.

I say all of this to say, this was totally avoidable for me if I just started with 50% timesharing to start. She wont agree to 5050 or a clear plan to get there? Go all of the way to court. My ex's live in boyfriend has also been divorced for 7 years and still has less custody than I do simply because he keeps settling out of court for less.

Equal shared parenting or bust.

I got a text from my 12 year old daughter just now asking if she and my son had been added to the gym membership so they could use the pool. I told her I would get them added before the summer started and she said they wanted to be added sooner so they could use it on Monday for Memorial Day. They are with their mom on Mondays. The 3 of them get to go to the pool and have a good time as a family while I am on my own figuring out how to entertain myself for a day with the office closed for the holiday. A pool day sounds like a great family activity, but that's not possible anymore.

Last weekend I took the kids to a minor league baseball game and they had a great time. I kept thinking to myself it would have been nice to do as a family. Not possible anymore...

It's the small moments they don't talk about that sometimes hit you the hardest.