u/panxoperezsalazar

what should I do to forgot her?

I was deeply in love of my ex, she's 6yo older than me, we was the "perfect couple" for everyone, she use to said I was a present, fun and always available husband and father.

But she never look for me, I always was the one who plan, imitate and look for our moments, for her, I thought I knew everything of her. I take care of my health, I'm fit,I like to party and enjoy live. I did all what it supposed a good husband and father should do, even I didn't have a good father.

Last year she "woke up" after years of never imitate intimacy or make any plans, but she wants something someone different, so we start swinging, and she look and focus for younger man than me, 30s, and make for them all the she never did for me.

I'm not ugly, I'm fit, have a good career, I like to dance, travel, find and do new things, I pleasure her at the bed, give her lingerie, special moments and trips. Nothing was enough for her.

last year I fill up, I had a mental breakdown after she forgot something very very important for my work. And I loose control. I yell, broke and smash things, never touched her, just scream out of my lungs how she could be so unemotional and unempatic with me, never think just for her and her feelings and needs.

After 7 months apart, I just date just one girl, my age,she have a kid, so nether of us se a future. But after try with multiple apps and don't get any match, I realize I'm the waist, no woman will want a divorce 45 man with two kids who even can't have more kids (I did my vasectomy 7y ago, for my ex left the pill and don't operate her). Even I lived alone. I don't drink alcohol nether smoke.

¿what I have wrong?

Everywhere I go to meet new people I'm the older, because I like fitboxing, swimming, dancing, music.

Should I prepare myself for be alone the rest of my life and have my kids one day or other, they are teens they want their activities and friends, they forgot about me, if I don't write them they never call or ask for me.

And my ex, just write for money, money.

I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, and two good friends, and my jobs, but feel empty, unlovable.

I lost the meaning of my own live.

Now I'm most of the time alone, in silence, listening music, podcasts, movies or do some work. I'm empty.

miss my kids, I was always there for them.