u/TheBritshViking

any successful stories out there, not necessarily any kind of revenge or that you went in dated instantly, but just how did life turn out for you six months to a year later? Did they ever try to come back? Did you ever just move on and things got better? I’m about three months post-divorce and I’m just focusing on taking accountability for the things I did and not just trying to point the finger even though it crushed me. I’m starting to accept letting her go, and even though it hurts, I know that I can’t hold onto something that the other person didn’t want to. And if I look at the positives of my life, I have my own place i’m doing good. I’m working on my content creation. and I realized that I can’t compete with her going out all the time and being wild, and that is OK because it’s not what I want to do and I know moving on or using other people as validation will not help me.

So I was doing content creations like football streams, and gaming content. Just trying to find my footing some of my videos on TikTok actually have quite a lot of views anywhere from 80,000 to 200,000 one of the reasons, my wife left me was because she felt I was pushing her away, but I was just trying to find a purpose and other hobbies I wanted to do. Anyway, fast-forward to now I’ve gotten back into it and not getting as much engagement as I used to so if you guys could give me a like or follow or even just watch, I would really appreciate it. It is Charlie Sather on TikTok and YouTube and zaddyiceking on twitch.

Been divorced for two months and she will still answer if I need but has told me multiple times she no longer loves me romantically. So how do I just accept she’s gone and that the last 7 years basically meant nothing?

Been divorced for two months and she will still answer if I need but has told me multiple times she no longer loves me romantically. So how do I just accept she’s gone and that the last 7 years basically meant nothing?

Long story short, my ex ex-wife divorced me I helped Raise her boys as my own because the present Father at the time was not around and he eventually went to jail for life. Fast forward I was devastated when she divorced me. I did not want her to get the best to go so I went back back-and-forth on being in the kids life or not.

I thought if I just stay away, then she’ll realize what she lost because she won’t have the only stable manager in her life, but I then realize she’s gonna go do whatever she wants to do whatever she wants to see whether or not I’m in their lives or not.

I would rather have a life for those two boys are in mine then none at all.

I know some people will say I’m an idiot and a cuck but I am not involved with the ex-wife at all and I only text through the oldest to make plans

Long story short, my ex ex-wife divorced me I helped Raise her boys as my own because the present Father at the time was not around and he eventually went to jail for life. Fast forward I was devastated when she divorced me. I did not want her to get the best to go so I went back back-and-forth on being in the kids life or not.

I thought if I just stay away, then she’ll realize what she lost because she won’t have the only stable manager in her life, but I then realize she’s gonna go do whatever she wants to do whatever she wants to see whether or not I’m in their lives or not.

I would rather have a life for those two boys are in mine then none at all.

I know some people will say I’m an idiot and a cuck but I am not involved with the ex-wife at all and I only text through the oldest to make plans

So long story short, me and my wife were having issues I kind of started pushing her away, but eventually, she was the one that gave up and divorced me fast-forward to now two months post divorce and I was not fully healed, but I was definitely coming to the fact that she’s gone and there’s nothing I can do. Well, she invited me to the Fourth of July with her and her kids since I helped to raise them from when they were little, I agreed because I didn’t want to spend the holiday without those kids but then at the end of it, I realized I didn’t want a broken family, especially one where I have no rights to the two kids. well anyways, we got into a fight about it pretty much we were just gonna be done again because she doesn’t want to fix a relationship with me, but obviously she still wants me to be around for the kids. Well today, I invited her over to hang out and she agreed for whatever reason and we hung out for a couple hours. Talked about our relationship, but she still doesn’t want anything to do with us getting back together however she’s being super flirty and deep down, I know she still has feelings for me, but I can’t keep feeling like I’m letting her string me along

So for contex I was a keno gambling addict for a long time. from about 24 - 30 it was on and off there were even times I quit for 6 months to a year and one thing would drag me back. Long story short, I was diagnosed with ADHD and being on the medication help me realize gambling was just an escape it was never about the money or anything.

I realized that it was traits of my adhd the pattern reconiztion the feeling a rush the feeling of being someone important when I would hit jackpots.

Even though I finally quit before I got diagnosed it only help me realize my brain was searching for that constant dopamine. So it may be worth it to get checked for some of you.

Recently my wife left and divorced me. I had to move out within two weeks life completley in shambles and not once was I tempted to gamble or think it would fix my life.

Now I make pretty good money at my job but there was times I was so far in debt I couldnt even get out.

Now the divorce is final, I will be filing for bankruptcy to get a fresh start and finally start over from everything.

I only make this post now to tell you guys, you can do it. You can get out and try and figure out mentally whats causing this.

So I was diagnosed last year with ADHD after my whole life knowing I was different or the signs of adhd like being good under pressure or pattern recognition, but I never knew why. Iwas always tired and had no energy and would force myself to do things. Even things I loved.

Anyway, since then I have tried multiple medications. At first I did not want to do any stimualants because my family had a history of abusing pills. So they gave welbutron and other types of things but I told them it doesnt do anything except make me even less emotional lol. After awhile my doctor said hey lets just try the stimulants and see what happens.

I gave in because I knew nothing else had worked also realizing if someone truly has adhd then stimulants dont get you "high" anyways I started with adderall and hit the was quick and it was amazing to see how productive I was and wow this is what its supposed to be like. However I had to constantly be hydrated and eat for me to not feel like I was a crackhead or something.

I then switch to a off brand ritalin and that wasnt as strong as the Adderall and they even up my dose. However that one I was just irratable a lot and even on the extended release it wouldnt last and I would crash. So fast forward to the last couple of days I have been on vyvanse and its been great the feeling I have been looking for! no instant rush feeling or anything very smooth and you dont notice it. Brain is calm and it last and its way easier for me to focus on something and see it through. Also I have asthma that requires me to take advar and since ive been on vyvanse I noticed my asthma has been really good havent needed it even after intense gyms sessions and everything. I paid for the name brand but will go to generic next for insurance reasons and I hope it doesnt change anything.

So yesterday I was doing great then I saw my ex wife with what seem to be her new fling or whatever and I wasnt gonna say anything but then I noticed she was still using my last name on everything. So I went off on her and she told me she isnt seeing anybody and that she has just gone out with her friends and co workers and she knows shes a mess so she isnt trying to get involved with anyone. Anyway we talked until about 1 am and I basically left it as If you truly havent seen anyone and want to heal (she has never been alone until now) then ill wait. But I am only waiting until october because that was the deadline I gave myself to start looking after healing from the divorce. Either way I feel dumb and all the progress of no contact is gone and she knows she still got me by the balls.

So yesterday I was doing great then I saw my ex wife with what seem to be her new fling or whatever and I wasnt gonna say anything but then I noticed she was still using my last name on everything. So I went off on her and she told me she isnt seeing anybody and that she has just gone out with her friends and co workers and she knows shes a mess so she isnt trying to get involved with anyone. Anyway we talked until about 1 am and I basically left it as If you truly havent seen anyone and want to heal (she has never been alone until now) then ill wait. But I am only waiting until october because that was the deadline I gave myself to start looking after healing from the divorce. Either way I feel dumb and all the progress of no contact is gone and she knows she still got me by the balls.

I keep feeling like I am getting better. But of course I saw a picture of her coworker where my ex wife was in the background downtown. Mind you this woman has two kids that I helped raised and is 34. I truly thought she would be trying to work on herself this time but it appears nope. She just gonna keep living with her mom and do whatever she wants. It hurts it sucks. I always stay alone to heal while the other just goes out and distracts.

I keep feeling like I am getting better. But of course I saw a picture of her coworker where my ex wife was in the background downtown. Mind you this woman has two kids that I helped raised and is 34. I truly thought she would be trying to work on herself this time but it appears nope. She just gonna keep living with her mom and do whatever she wants. It hurts it sucks. I always stay alone to heal while the other just goes out and distracts.

Idk what it is but finally I decided I had to block my ex wife. Even though I unadded her on everything I still could see when she was active and stuff. The divorce was finalized june 10th and she knew about it I didnt know until I got it in the mail and that was june 15th. Even though that hurt I knew that there was no coming back from it. Today I went to pick up my mail from my mothere in law and they have been begging me to see the kids (Her kids I help raise) I unforturnetly had to go no contact with them as well so I didnt see them and it didnt seem like they cared much they ran out gave me a hug and wanted to go right back and play video games. Anyways it was a tuff day so I just decided its best to block her everywhere and just not wonder anymore. She also is still using my last name on social media idk why when she was granted her previous name back.

Idk what it is but finally I decided I had to block my ex wife. Even though I unadded her on everything I still could see when she was active and stuff. The divorce was finalized june 10th and she knew about it I didnt know until I got it in the mail and that was june 15th. Even though that hurt I knew that there was no coming back from it. Today I went to pick up my mail from my mothere in law and they have been begging me to see the kids (Her kids I help raise) I unforturnetly had to go no contact with them as well so I didnt see them and it didnt seem like they cared much they ran out gave me a hug and wanted to go right back and play video games. Anyways it was a tuff day so I just decided its best to block her everywhere and just not wonder anymore. She also is still using my last name on social media idk why when we was granted her previous name back.

In my case from what I know she never cheated but I do know there is another co worker of hers also going through a divorce who I am sure was giving her validation to be okay with divorcing me

Welp I am the guy who helped someone raise her kids and together for 7 years married for a year and a half. She filed only maybe 3 weeks ago and I got the divorce decree yesterday. Weird feeling. I knew it was coming but I guess it just killed any hope I had. I guess I dont have anymore copium so thats the brightside. The only wierd thing is she is continuing to have my last name on socials even though she got her old name back. Besides that I just have to accept it.

Welp I am the guy who helped someone raise her kids and together for 7 years married for a year and a half. She filed only maybe 3 weeks ago and I got the divorce decree yesterday. Weird feeling. I knew it was coming but I guess it just killed any hope I had. I guess I dont have anymore copium so thats the brightside. The only wierd thing is she is continuing to have my last name on socials even though she got her old name back. Besides that I just have to accept it.

I'm a 31-year-old guy going through a divorce and I honestly just need outside perspectives because I'm struggling to make sense of everything.

I got with my wife when I was 24. She already had two boys and I stepped into the father role. Their biological father has been largely absent and later went to prison. I spent the last 7 years helping raise those boys and they're all I've really known as my kids.

We got married a year and a half ago.

We lived with her mother our entire relationship because she wanted the support system and cheap rent. Over the years I started feeling trapped and wanted us to move out and have our own life together. She didn't want to because her mom was such a huge help with the kids.

I wasn't perfect. Far from it. I withdrew emotionally and escaped into work and gaming. I have ADHD, but I didn't even know that until recently. She constantly told me she didn't feel chosen and didn't feel like she was "the one."

About six months ago I was actually the one pushing her away. We had talked about splitting up before. We weren't intimate anymore, but we still slept in the same bed every night, said "I love you," and there were no concrete plans to separate. I thought we were struggling but still trying.

Eventually I went to therapy because I wanted to understand why I wasn't emotionally available. That's when I found out I had ADHD. Over the last three months I got treatment and started changing. I started doing more with her and really trying to reconnect. I felt like I was finally becoming the husband she needed.

Then one day she asked me when I was moving out.

I was completely blindsided because I thought we were working on things. I begged and cried and asked her to keep our family together. I told her I wanted counseling and another chance.

She told me she had already emotionally processed us being over and had nothing left to give. She admitted she probably stayed longer because of the boys.

I only signed the papers because I knew I couldn't beg someone to love me. I had to find an apartment and move out within two weeks. She's staying with her mom with the same support system she's always had.

The hardest part is that I lost the boys too.

The first weekend after moving out I put my feelings aside and picked them up to take them to a car show. She had told me she'd never keep me from seeing them.

Then her mom met me at the door and served me divorce papers. My wife later admitted it was a "dick move."

She reposts TikToks about choosing herself and being unhappy and recently started posting old memories from our marriage and trips together on an old account she knows I follow. It's confusing because she says she's moved on and doesn't care, but then posts things that are directly tied to us.

I also suspect she may have found validation from someone at work, which may have helped her emotionally move on, but I have no proof and I don't want to accuse her of something I can't prove.

I know I wasn't perfect. I know I hurt her. I know I made her feel alone.

But I also spent seven years trying to love her and raise kids that weren't mine. I was there through some really traumatic things in her life. I repeatedly told her she couldn't rely on me to be the source of her happiness because she had to be happy with herself too.

Now I'm sitting alone in an apartment with a new puppy wondering if I even have anything left to give.

I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just trying to understand how two people can love each other and still end up here.

Has anyone been through something similar?

As I stated in a previous post, I was with somebody for seven years married for a year and a half. I was 24 years old and stepped up to help raise her kids for her. She was 27. And we lived with her mother-in-law the entire time things were pretty good most of the time however towards the last six or seven months, I started to push her away because I wanted to move and she was more content with staying because it was easier for the children the mother-in-law and so I blame myself for pushing her away because I was so zombie push came to shove. I still tried to make it work, and she decided that she no longer wanted to. I begged and pleaded and tried to prove my case I up and had to change my whole life and move out in two weeks. I couldn’t even believe that this had been my life. Seven years basically meant nothing. Now, after a few weeks of living on my own, it’s crazy that I am now accepting a reality that I thought would never be real.