I had a mental breakdown 4 years ago and haven't been able to work. My family has lived off my savings and inheritance(both my parents passed). Now the money is running out and so is my spouse. I can't work and have no savings to speak of. We have one child together. Can I get spouse support? Location: West Virginia
Guys if a girl gets divorced and goes to Pakistani court for dowry return, haq mehr and her belongings like clothes shoes (abroad and Pakistan). What are the chances of her winning the case?
My husband and I are both 58. Married 33 years. My marriage is one of those that isn't awful, but I haven't been happy from the start. Felt nauseous when he proposed, even though we'd been dating for seven years since we were 17. He's a good father and does all the housework and cooking. I'm just not happy. Everything I do is wrong or not good enough. Our first couple Thanksgivings as a married couple, he'd hover over me in the kitchen, asking what I was doing and why was I doing it that way. He wouldn't stop. He was relentless. So I threw my hands up and said fine. You do it. So ever since then I don't do any of the cooking. We've been married 33 years and it still continues. At Christmas, he asked me why I was decorating the cookies that way. Apparently I was decorating cookies wrong. A few months ago I was loading the dishwasher wrong when it was empty and I put two glasses in it. He had to rearrange them. At Christmas time I brought out my jigsaw puzzle board so I could enjoy doing puzzles at Christmas and he said but it blocks the view of the Nativity. Bigger things over the years include him flying out to California when our second child was 3 days old so he could go to a concert to see his favorite performer. My parents were so angry. I told them that I had told him he could go but they said that wasn't the point. He shouldn't have gone. Right after covid I used our covid money to buy a brand new bed for us since we'd had the same one since we got married, and I was barely in it when he said he couldn't sleep because I snore. So I started sleeping on the sofa. I didn't know it would turn into years of me sleeping on the sofa but it did. I asked him to try ear plugs just one time and he wouldn't do it. Last year our youngest son finally moved out so I bought myself a cheap mattress and bed and took over his old room. The mattress is awful and is already sagging because it was cheap and my husband has the nice good bed. So now we sleep in separate bedrooms all the time but at least I'm not on the sofa anymore. It bothers me that we never really discussed it and he seemed okay with me sleeping on the sofa because I could fall asleep easily and sleep on it but he couldn't. While we were still dating I was asked out by another guy and I wanted to go out with him but my mom said what about so and so, meaning my future husband. My dad also wanted me to marry a Catholic and he was a Catholic. I was young and in love with the idea of love and marriage and I truly didn't know if anyone better would come along. After we were married only one or two years I wanted to run away but felt like it was wrong so I stayed. Then shortly after my parents died I wanted to leave again badly but our kids were little...ages five and three... and I felt guilty for leaving so I stayed. My brother does not understand why I want to break up the family this way. Every time a guy from my past comes along, I'm ready to pack up and leave so obviously I'm unhappy and something is missing. (No, I have not had an affair.) I always stay silent to keep the peace. I go out for lunch at the very most once a week to Jimmy John's and I have to hide it because if he sees it he gets upset that I went out for lunch. When we go on vacation and I try to take pictures with my phone, he grabs my phone from me in a huff and says here let me do it because obviously I'm not doing it the right way or taking pictures from the appropriate angle or whatever. Now I'm almost 59 and I'm scared I'm never going to know or feel true love, But at the same time I'm wondering if I am being too nitpicky and this is just how it is and I should be grateful for what I have. Because there are no affairs, there is no other woman or anything like that. There's no physical abuse or drugs or addictions. I'm just not happy. How do I know if I will be happy with someone else? And what if I end up alone? I don't want to end up alone. I don't know what to do. Very early in our marriage when I threatened to leave, he threatened to sit in the car in the closed garage with it running. Last year when I spoke of moving out, he spoke about the bridge by our house and how he was thinking of jumping. I honestly don't know if he means it or if he's just manipulating me into staying. He does guilt-trip me a lot. I know that no relationship is perfect but I'm wondering if I can do better and if I shouldn't even try at this point. Advice appreciated.
I realize this makes me sound like a crappy human but I need help.
Married for 25 years, divorced next week. We have a 6 year old pittie mix. We got her through a dog rescue three years ago. She's not the smartest dog in the world. She's sweet, even though she's a lot of work, like most Velcro dogs are. She cannot be around other dogs, very reactive to them. Honestly, we tried to return her three months after we got her and the rescue said no, they were full and require adopters to give it a six month trial. They said they'd help us but never did, even after repeated requests for assistance.
We found our way with her and even though she's still a lot of work, she's become part of the family.
When we decided to divorce, the understanding was that my stbx would take the dog: he loves to walk, wrestles with her, is moving to his cousin's farm, he works remotely about 95% of the time, and the dog adores him. I agreed to help pay for food and vet bills.
A couple weeks ago, my stbx announced that he's not going to take the dog because "she's too much work". And that it was my decision what happens next: surrender to a pound or take her myself.
Well crap. The apartment I moved into IS dog friendly, I just have to pay a $300 deposit and $35 a month dog fee. Which sucks because I'm not exactly swimming in money right now. But okay. The other issue is that I work remote one day a week, the other four days I have to be in the office. What the heck am I supposed to do with her then? My stbx just shrugged and said it's not his problem but he can help once in a while if I need a night off. Gee thanks.
Do I get a dog sitter? She can't do the doggie daycare thing because she will attack other dogs. Aside from that, I can't afford these extra expenses. Plus my kids (in college) adore her and would be crushed if I gave her up.
What do I do? Literally any advice is welcome. I'm so stressed. My apartment is not big and she's 70 pounds. My sister and mom tell me just to get rid of her, because she's causing me stress that I don't need right now. I would feel terrible giving her up because her last "foster" kept her in a kennel 18 hours a day (with random potty breaks) and I don't want that for her again.
What do I do?
My husband and I are getting a divorce (35 and no children) After splitting everything up, in order to keep all of the retirement accounts in my name intact and buy him out of his share of the house without refinancing I will owe him $90K when our divorce finalizes. I currently make $170K, have $250K in retirement accounts, my house is worth ~$400K and I owe a little less than $200K with a 2.75% mortgage, I have about $60K in savings, and no debt besides the mortgage
I'm a little unsure how to prioritize things at the moment. I live in an older home that has a bit of deferred maintenance and I drive a 15 year old car so I like to keep a larger emergency fund. I have access to a 403b and 457b so have been maxing both of those out the past 2-3 years; however I cut back on contributions when the divorce talks began. (to $1000/month)
Should I continue holding off on retirement contributions/ cut back entirely in order to pay off my ex-husband sooner? Have no buffer in my emergency fund for awhile? Consider a personal loan/HELOC to pay him back? Or do divorce settlements ever come with payment plans to the ex-spouse?
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the idea of having to rely on my income alone for emergencies/retirement etc and any advice would be greatly appreciated!
My husband started smoking weed four years ago to help with his aggression. It turned into him smoking non-stop. He quit his job (we agreed) with the goal that he would find something he was truly passionate about and start a journey towards that whether he would work or go back to school. This didnt happen and instead he would smoke all day everyday. He would not help around the house until I absolutely begged him to and even then he would tell me what he did and say "i did what you asked for, master." To be fair, there were moments when he would do things without me asking. He started spending so much money that it became stressful for me - like over 10k one year on food delivery. He ended up having a break from reality and insisted that he was God and that we all live in a simulation. He even bought a tent and said he would go live on the beach as to not participate in society anymore. I was worried he would hurt himself and he checked himself into a facility where he was diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. After looking it up and speaking to his doctors, his family and I agree that this is logical because he goes through periods of mania and will not sleep for DAYS. When he came out, he agreed to go to therapy and we ended up only going a handful of times before he said we didnt need it anymore. I ended up applying for jobs for him (with his permission) and he landed a job for about three months. He ended up quitting though because he couldnt handle the people, the commute, and basically working in general. He also refused to take any medication that was prescribed to him because he said he was fine and the smoking continued to increase. I try to get him to go out but he never wants to leave the house and doesnt like it when I invite people over. This behavior only got worse when he entered another manic period and continued to think he is God and that I am "dead" and am haunting him. I told him if he continues that I would need to leave because I can't take the emotional whiplash anymore. He gets road rage in cars and thinks people are following him. I was hoping that he would realize I was serious and get help but he told me to leave and called my parents and told them I was hurting myself which forced my hand to come clean about everything. He said he wasnt going to change and if I didnt like it then I needed to leave. I've been staying with my parents for a month now with no contact and I'm moving forward with the divorce. This is so incredibly hard and I'm in agony. I guess I'm on here just trying to get information if anyone has been through something similar? I love him so much and this is killing me. I'm not sleeping or eating. I'm crying all the time. My body is in physical pain and I'm so confused if I'm making the right decision. We've been together for over a decade and I dont know how to live without him. Can someone please tell me if I'm making the wrong decision? What if he decides to get better and I'm not there for him? What if he gets hurt? I dont want my marriage to end and I know its supposed to be for better or for worse, but I can't make him do his part; does this make me a bad wife? Am I just giving up on him?
tl/dr: Am I abandoning my best friend?
Location: Georgia, usa.
My partner is going through a messy divorce in South Georgia. Her ex is trying to drag her name through mud inside the court and forfeit his parental rights to skip out on child support.
He is definitely a danger to the child, through a lot of emotional dangers, with his own self admitted disdain for small children, and has fought adamantly that he wants nothing to do with him. (Which he promised her to adopt a child within 2 years of marriage, but rolled that back 1 year, as he didnt want to "deal with damaged kids.")
Where it gets messy, I've been with her for the last 4 years, he encouraged and supported an extramarital relationship knowing she was polyamorous.
The attorney i paid over $5k for out of pocket to help her is suggesting she roll over and let him leave with no responsibility.
There is gigabytes of text and audio of arguments outside of normalized behavior to exemplify that he is emotionally and financially abusive, to include tax evasion.
This man has had 2 other wives that, I am not exaggerating, divorced him over 1 a bra, and 2 a pair of tennis shoes. She is unable to screen through old texts because he left that much damage in his wake.
Her expartner helped her adopt an embryo for IVF, and the child is now 17 months old.
He went along with the adoption, signed documents, he financially abandoned her after he started an argument over her wearing the wrong pair of eyeglasses during our lunch meetup after the embryo was implanted.
The court allowing him to sign over his rights sets a new illegally obtained precedent that the state of Georgia will allow adopters to abandon embryo adoptions at will. This attorney has failed to obtain any evidence to support her, has ignored calls for weeks on end, and gave every single reason not to be hired on day one. But a lack of options left us without many choices.
In the end, we really do not want his involvement, but the financial help for the child's care would help tremendously.
Please help. What can we do in this situation? Other lawyers want more than we have as a retainer.
My 18 year old daughter is hardly see anymore and always hard to get together. Is anyone else experiencing the same?
Concerning Steamlink.. my son lives primarily with his father but will be with me most of the summer. He has a steam account on the computer that is at my house and now he wants to play at his dad's. They want to use his dad's chromebook which I guess will not download steam but can download the steamlink. They kept discussing around me that he was going to bring the chromebook over to link it. I said absolutely not..I am not having his dad's chromebook linked to my computer. Am I wrong? I think this is very much a privacy issue.?
asking for a friend but
If the mom & dad get divorced, what are the next steps that will happen + custody laws?
Kids are 10M and 14F.
Mother is not working, they are all under dad’s visa for residency
Would the kids / mom be able to stay in Qatar? Because kids have better education here.
edit: added ages
Are they still doing the annulment or not bc I'm just wanting to be in the know about it
Married 27 years. Separated for seven months after I discovered he was in another long term relationship with another mistress (forgave him and rebuilt 10 years ago for the same behavior with a different mistress). When he moved into the condo we recently bought, I was 95% sure the separation would lead to divorce; 5% open to a miracle because he said he would be “working on himself” during the separation. Found out this week he and the mistress have been dating, traveling, and doing couples excursions since he moved out. They have a trip planned for Belize this summer. I’m obviously now 100% certain that I want a divorce. I have proof of money he has sent her, flights they’ve booked together, their hotel booking for Belize, and photos of them on weekends away. In the divorce agreement I want the marital home, him continuing to pay the mortgage, half his 401k, to remain on his medical benefits because I have a medical background (breast cancer survivor), and to remain as the beneficiary of his life insurance policy. He is already getting nasty about the things I am requesting, so we will likely have to get attorneys involved. From anyone who has divorced on grounds of adultery, what is the likelihood that this will all go in my favor if it ends up in court? We live in Georgia.
I’ve been married for 24 years, but honestly, close to 18 of those years
have been miserable. There’s been repeated cheating, drug abuse, ER visits tied to addiction issues, constant undermining, emotional manipulation, and a relationship dynamic that’s left me drained for a very long time. I’ve
stayed far longer than I probably should have because I kept hoping things
would change, or because I felt guilty leaving.
At this point, I’m
seriously ready to leave, but I know if I announce it beforehand I’ll get sucked back in emotionally and talked out of it again. I’m not trying to be cruel or abandon someone without explanation, I just think I need enough distance and clarity to finally follow through and stop repeating
the cycle.
One issue is that she tracks my location constantly through Life360, so even trying to look at rooms for rent or apartments privately
feels almost impossible. I’m trying to avoid a major confrontation before I
have a plan in place.
For anyone who’s been through something similar, how did you discreetly look for a place to stay without immediately setting off
alarms? Did you pause location sharing, leave your phone somewhere, use
another device, or have some other practical solution? If I shut off 360 shell immediately notice and start sending me nasty messages and cause a fight, which I’m trying to avoid.
I’d appreciate advice from people who’ve actually navigated this kind of situation. Thanks in advance
We were a really happy couple. We travelled to Australia for 5 weeks together, and then separately did four weeks in Vietnam. I remember long 10-hour drives a few of the days where we’d just talk the whole time, making up stupid games and enjoying being around each other. Then we got married and had kids.
Over time, we lost touch a bit. Life got busy and quite hard — we were tired, I lost my job, and things just built up. Two years ago, instead of working through it together, she decided to end it.
What’s been difficult for me is that it felt quite sudden from my side. I think she’d probably been processing and grieving the relationship for a long time before that, but I didn’t see it that way at the time. I struggled to get any real conversation or closure afterwards, which made it harder to come to terms with.
The last couple of years have actually been good in a lot of ways — work is going really well, I’ve met some great people, and I’ve found a rhythm with the kids that I really value.
But if I’m honest, there’s still some anger there, especially seeing her move on to a new relationship. I’m working through it with a therapist, but it’s something I’m still trying to let go of.
It was around 1:10 am IST(India) it was mid night suddenly my elder sister called and told me she wants to come home tomorrow I said ok whats big deal in it come your home your wish then she said you will help me or not i was drolling in sleep then she said I am taking divorce , you will help me or not I said dont talk rubbish in drunk state for the time being and she kept the phone . She got married for 3-4 months . Dont know what to do ? 😓😵💫
We WERE doing a Por Se divorce. No minor children 50-50 agrees on property and home sale proceeds. We jointly own a business of 25 years $1M per year. I am a minority shareholder and we can’t work together and she needs to buy me out. I gave her a fair offer months ago based on 3 year average net income x a multiplier. She rejected it. She argued that our business is not worth anything and I deserve nothing for my effort over 25 years of building it. Obviously a crazy notion. When we sold the house a few weeks ago, I asked her again that - Let’s now valuate the business and finish phase 2, and we’re done you buy me out. She said go find a firm that values businesses. Ok done. I don’t trust the professional objective valuation would commit to a reasonable buyout offer by her. But we’re gonna do it. So I was forced to hire a lawyer for the entire divorce process and Por Se was immediately terminated. With that, my law firm put our home sale closing proceeds into an escrow fund to protect the next step with the business buyout. This protects me from her using all her funds. Now she’s taking a leave of absence, she withdrew $21,000 out of the business last month without my knowledge for her own personal expenses - putting the company in major cash flow issues. And now she’s claiming she may have took a leave of absence from the company indefinitely, probably out of spite against me for hiring a lawyer and me wanting a fair buyout.. so now I’m unable to work with her to bill clients and yet her our team has no idea this is going on and still operating and expecting to receive salaries. As the chief financial officer I’m not going to borrow funds from our commercial loan to fill the gap anymore. I told my lawyer about this and she said I’m sorry about all this?? There seems like there would be more options to prevent a complete implosion of our business???
Me and my hubby (both 32) together for 10 years and expecting our first child this year (his condition for further life together).
We had his business tip scheduled from Europe to USA, though I was advised by my Obgyn not to fly and I’ve stayed.
Today I’ve read his chat (hubby allowed long time ago, now claims it’s unfair that I’ve read it at all) from the time of his trip to States with a friend of his (whom I despise and see as a person of low morality, who is a persona non grata among other girlfriends of their mutual friends). And the chat goes as follows: [f=friend, h= husband]
- h: I’m too horny
- f: you could fuck a wet diaper
- h: cute woman at a conference seems like she is hitting on me a little and I struggle 🥲 makes me unhappy
- f: why do you struggle. Just imagine she’s a diaper
- h: cause I’m married
- f: it’s not cheating if she is a diaper
- h: and I like my wife and stuff
- f: you should ask your wife for permission. I’m not saying you should cheat. I was saying you can get a permission if you want to fuck a wet diaper.
- h: My wife is very anxious/envious/scared. Asking her such thing would be a nuclear explosion
-f: of course
- h: she would cry forever and shit 🤷♂️
- f: *gif saying: are you sure???*”
I have confronted my husband about it. At first he denied he was considering an affair or even that anybody was hitting on him during his solo trip. Then he magically had a recollection of the chat and denied he expressed hesitation and it was rather a random expression of his unfulfilled needs from his 2 weeks long absence from home and that new woman that was „maybe slightly hitting on him” made this feeling worse. He also explained that writing he „likes me and stuff” doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me and it’s a matter of his specific phrasing in the chat with this particular friend. In the chat the husband never! states anything like „stop it, I would never sleep with anyone else than my wife”. To merit gives more of a „I would love to do it, but she would be furious and that is the only reason” vibe.
Tl;dr I’ve read a chat between my husband and his friend. My husband was on a business trip on a different continent back then and reported he „struggles” as a random „cute woman” was hitting on him. The friend suggested he should give it a go as it can be purely physical, husband in reply says that he is married and he LIKES his wife.
When the friend insisted my husband should ask me for permission my hubby responded that I would cry about it and it would be a nuclear disaster as I am already anxious/envious/scared.
I'm going to try my best to type this down as coherently as possible.
Me(M36) and Wife (F38) together for 9 years of which 2y married.
My wife has received the diagnosis of Autism at an adult age about +-1y ago and it has changed our lives completely.
It has become a shield & a crutch to just not do things. Doesnt want to talk about anything, the autism.
Our sexlife has completely vanished.
Our childwish dissapeared as she doesnt want to raise a child with her condition.
Menial housework is all shoved to me as it is to exhausting for her.
In the meantime she refuses to look into any option of mental care to better cope with her situation.
And after rereading my rant, I can feel the bottled up frustration that my life has changed so much without having any say in it
I am overwhelmed with feelings of feeling fully drained, lost all purpose or common goals. And I feel lost.
Has anyone experienced this or can guide me in any way how I move forward?
Edit: Also wanted to add I feel like I cant leave her as she is out of work due to a burnout at the time, and I feel like i'd be abandoning her and any hope she has for a better path.