50 years old and I can't do it any longer
I love my wife, I do. But it's been 12 years since we've been intimate with each other. No hugs, no kisses, no touching. She went through menopause and that was it, she was done. We've talked about this before, she doesn't see the problem.
We talked again last month, I told her that it had been two years since I even attempted to hug her, she immediately pulled away and locked up. That was the last time I tried. When
I told her that she said I could ask her for a hug, if she wasn't doing anything else she might be okay with it. That was the straw, that was the end for me. I begged for my wife for years to be my wife and not my roommate. I won't beg for simple human contact.
I hate that its come to this, but I can't do another 30 years of this.
She's getting ready for surgery in October. I'm going to stick around for that, for her to be healed up. I'll be here for the holidays – Christmas is her favorite and I won't ruin that for her with a divorce. But come January I'm going to offer couples counseling, not to fix the relationship, but just to prepare her for the end.
I don't want the house, I don't want anything, I just want to get out, and try to find some happiness with the last 30 years of my life. I'm really hoping she'll allow it to be uncontested, I already plan to move most of my IRA over to her, we'll sell the house and I'll split it 80/20 with her – I do want to make sure she can stay retired (she's older than I am) and enjoy what time she has left. Hopefully she'll find someone else, they'll have to be a-sexual, and probably a-romantic, but I do hope she can find someone new to be friends and roommates with.
I'm not sure what help I'm looking for, I've got my plan, I just need to wait before I execute it. I guess I just wanted to share, I don't know.