r/problemgambling

I am a well educated Australian man in my 30s who's lost more than $1.2m cumulative in crypto, most of it about 2 years ago, and am now $1mil in debt.

I started off buying bitcoin at around $1000 back in 2014, after seeing the vision. I sold at $300, being very young and unable to stomach the volatility, then came back for the 2017 boom where I managed to lose another $50k. Got scared of it then came back for the 2021 boom. Lost another $50k.

Then I made it big jn 2023, threw $100k in a memecoin and was up almost $300k, which is when the derealisation of money occurred. I began to have no regard for money and after inevitably the market crashed I believed against evidence that I would be able to find a way out of this. Perps, memecoins, trying to learn, etc.

In the space of a year I was down back to near buy-in and then below. Then well below. Then as panic started to set in and I realised the amount I was losing was more than I could easily earn back from earning, I spent more and more time and money reading, learning, trading, and losing. My family and I were going to go on a family holiday, so as I took a break from work I thought this could be time to "lock in" and make it all back. I lost $500k in 10 days with that mindset.

Since then I tried many times over the next 2 years to make it all back in memecoins, figuring that was my only way to clear this enormous debt. What always made it challenging for me to stop was the idea that there was more I could learn, that I was just paying the tuition to crack the code.

I know myself; I am smart, have a great work ethic, and learn from my mistakes. I could apply myself to learn everything there is to learn about crypto. But this is where the trap laid.

Gambling is an emotional trap. The emotion of hope, greed, despair, shame, then back again. Gambles like stock picking, perps, options, memecoins all have the tempting intellectual allure of being beatable if you just learnt how to play the game. Ultimately though they are driven by human emotion and market manipulation by sophisticated players. I definitely know I would not get tempted by slots. But I would get tempted by learning how to pick stocks. It is the ego, the belief that I am smarter than the market.

More than anything, I have lost so much life, time and energy. I had lost progression momentum in my career. I had lost time to play music, or to learn my in laws language, or read books. I had lost time during holidays trying to beat the market. I am a very optimistic and happy person by nature, and yet this trap I was in made me feel almost suicidal.

And most importantly I lost my partners trust and time. I kept this secret from them for the last two years, scared I would lose her once I told her. Yet because of this I did not give her my fullest these last years, and our relationship was rocky as a result.

Finally I told her about everything. It was extremely hard and she walked off crying. It was heartbreaking to see her like this and know I was the cause of her anger and sadness. I know there is a real chance she will leave, that in fact it is the most likely outcome, and it terrifies me. But I know that telling her and telling others, and facing the shame, will reframe it as an opportunity for me to grow from this, build my self confidence back up again, and help me move forward with GA, therapy, accountability and relinquishing bank control, and deleting all crypto related apps and accounts.

I have only made two good decisions in my life, my career choice and my partner. I think I made a third one today in facing the shame and being honest that yes, I am a problem gambler.

Hello everyone,

I’m from Indonesia, and I want to share my personal story with people who may have gone through something similar.

Before online slot gambling became popular, I never really liked gambling. However, one day, I decided to try it with just $1. I never imagined that such a small amount would eventually lead me to the situation I am in today.

I now have around $13,000 in debt, and gambling has taken much more from my life than just money.

I have two children, aged 8 and 3. For the past six months, I have been living separately from my wife and children. My gambling problems were one of the main reasons for our separation.

We still communicate well, and I am grateful that we have maintained a good relationship. However, we live far apart, and my financial situation makes it difficult for us to meet and live together again.

At the time, I made the very difficult decision to live separately from my family. I felt that I needed to step away from everything so I could stop gambling, clear my mind, and work on myself.

That decision has been extremely painful. I miss my family, and I know that my wife and children have also suffered because of my mistakes.

I cannot change the past or erase the pain I have caused them. The only thing I can do now is take responsibility for my actions and try to build a better future.

The good news is that I have managed to stop gambling completely. I did it on my own, although the process has been very difficult. I am determined not to return to that cycle.

However, stopping gambling is only the beginning of my struggle. I still have to face the consequences of my past mistakes.

I work as a CCTV and network technician at a company in Indonesia, earning around $400 per month. My job involves installing and configuring equipment, conducting site surveys, preparing field reports, and calculating the materials needed for projects.

I now transfer my salary to a new bank account and give it to my wife so she can manage the money for herself and our children. A large portion of that money also goes toward paying my debts every month.

Meanwhile, I cover my own living expenses through small side projects whenever I can find them.

I am trying to improve my skills and find a better-paying job, but I have not found the right opportunity yet.

With an income of around $400 per month, $13,000 in debt feels like a huge mountain to climb.

Sometimes, I feel lost and do not know where to begin. I want to improve my life, pay off my debts, and hopefully live together with my wife and children again one day. But I honestly do not know how long it will take. I also do not know whether I can repair all the damage I have caused.

I am sharing this story not only to talk about my own problems, but also to send a message to anyone who is still gambling.

Please think about your family and the people who love you.

I know that quitting gambling is not easy. When we lose money, we want to win it back. We hope that the next win will fix everything. But in my experience, every attempt to recover my losses only pulled me deeper into the same problems.

Gambling did not solve my financial problems. It made them much worse.

I wish I could go back in time and stop before losing so much. But I know that is impossible. All I can do now is choose not to repeat the same mistakes.

I feel as though I am at the bottom of a very deep hole. At least I have stopped digging deeper. Now, I need to find a way to climb back to the surface.

I am not sharing this story to make excuses or blame anyone else. I know that I am responsible for the mistakes I have made, and I have to face the consequences of my actions.

Now, I would really appreciate advice from people who have been in a similar situation, especially those who have recovered from gambling and successfully paid off their debts.

If you were in my position, with $13,000 in debt and an income of around $400 per month, what would you do first?

How would you increase your income, manage your debts, and rebuild your life without falling back into gambling?

Has anyone here lost almost everything because of gambling but eventually managed to turn their life around? What helped you get through the hardest times?

If you could go back to the time when your debts were piling up and your life felt like a mess, what would you do differently?

I am not looking for free money or a quick fix. I genuinely want to learn from other people's real experiences and find a way to improve my life.

I have stopped gambling, but I still have a long way to go.

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my story. I appreciate any advice or personal experiences you are willing to share, whether it is encouragement or honest criticism.

I hope that one day I can return to this community and share an update saying that I have paid off my debts, rebuilt my life, and reunited with my family.

For now, I just want to keep moving forward, one day at a time.

U just lost to much and i just have to share it, i work, go home and lose all the money i made. How pathetic. But fuck it i blocked myself from all casinos (again) and i will do it for real this time. I asked Jesus for forgiveness and with his strenght i will overcome this and be the best man i can possibly be for myself and my friends and family. Thanks for reading this i also love yall.

Lifetime $30K, 27 y/o

I used to have mental breakdowns after losses like these - now I just feel numb.

For six years, I’ve been stuck in this cycle. I’ve lost around £30,000 to this addiction. But tonight, it wasn't a massive blowout that woke me up. It was just an £80 loss. And for some reason, sitting there looking at a zero balance again, something in my brain finally snapped.

I suddenly thought about what I'm actually doing, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Imagine someone comes up to you and says, "Give me your hard-earned money for the next six years. I guarantee you'll lose almost all of it. But to say thanks, I’ll occasionally toss you a $5 tip."

You’d think they were insane and walk away.

Then they say, "Wait! Once every few years, I’ll randomly hand you a chunk of your cash back so you feel like you're winning!"

In the real world, no one would ever take that deal. We'd see it for exactly what it is: a scam.

But because these websites wrap that exact same scam in flashing lights and call it a casino, I’ve been willingly handing over my money for years.

I finally see the "VIP bonuses" and weekly rakebacks for what they really are. They aren't gifts. They are leashes. They are specifically designed to stop you from hitting the delete button when your account hits zero. I’ve stayed hooked for years just waiting for tiny crumbs of my own money to be handed back to me.

I'm done being played. Tonight, I deleted all my VPNs, wiped my crypto wallets, and blocked every route I had to these sites.

I want my peace of mind back. I want to wake up in the morning without feeling that awful pit in my stomach. Giving them my money is the most idiotic thing I could possibly do with my life, and I'm finally walking away.

Day 1 starts now.

My life is pretty good :)

I have great friends, and good hobbies, and most of my days I can just spend reading with a glass of wine or socializing or exercising.

When I was gambling I thought I had no choice but to end my life, I’m so grateful I got out.

"Do not be fooled into thinking that your addiction has stopped. It hasn't. It is merely resting, regrouping, and waiting for you to drop your guard. It is constantly searching for a new way back in, waiting for a moment of weakness, stress, or complacency to reclaim its hold."

- The Addiction Manifesto" by J.R. Richards

I have truly reached a breaking point. I hate gambling so much, and I despise the grip it has on me. I’ve quit multiple drugs that were deemed impossible to quit, no biggie. But gambling? I just can’t fucking knock it. It makes me feel powerless. I’m embarrassed to be an addict to such a simple behavior. I’m ashamed of myself-and I suppose that’s why I still haven’t told anyone around me. But I think that’s the very thing that allows this to continue and thrive, the silence.
Such a pathetic addiction wouldn’t be able to survive if it was watched over by normal people. They’d laugh. They’d humiliate me, and that would genuinely knock some sense into me. But I’m too embarrassed to even strike that match, too ashamed to ever tell a soul. So for that, I think I’m stuck.
I’ve “quit” probably 100 times. Relapse is no stranger. So is that just….it? This is just something I have to live with?

I wish I would have never won any money in the first place. I’m at a loss of words