u/HumanlyLost

Quick update on the finance side of things. Still chipping away at what’s left of my debt, little by little. It’s nowhere near paid off yet, but for the first time in a long while I actually feel in control of it instead of drowning in it.

I used to think I needed one big win to fix everything. Turns out consistency does more than any bet ever could. Slow progress is still progress.

Didn’t gamble today. God bless us all, one day at a time. ❤️‍🩹

Life’s been keeping me busy again, that’s why this is late. Didn’t gamble and won’t gamble again. ODAAT!

My partner asked me what my birthday wish was, and I told him there were a lot. One of them includes you guys. My wish is that none of you ever think about gambling again, and that everyone in this community struggling with this addiction finds their way out of it.

God bless us all. One day at a time. ❤️‍🩹

Achievement unlocked for me because I just hit 1 month. I hope my posts here have inspired some of you to change direction in your own lives too. Even though I still have a good amount of debt left, I refuse to lose hope. I hope you don’t lose hope either. All of us can change.

That’s it. Didn’t gamble today, and I hope you didn’t either. God bless us all, I’ll keep you all in my prayers later. One day at a time.

Just a simple update: didn’t gamble today. If you’re feeling urges right now, I hope you stop yourself. Peace of mind feels so much better than living a miserable life from repeating the same mistakes over and over, even when you already know they’re wrong.

That’s it. God bless us all. One day at a time ❤️‍🩹

Busy day, that’s why I’m posting late. But yeah, didn’t gamble and didn’t even think about it. God bless us all, one day at a time. ❤️‍🩹

My birthday is coming up. For the past 6 years, since the pandemic, I’ve been getting birthday blues whenever it gets close. For years I convinced myself I wasn’t special. I just realized my family has been there for me the whole time, and I was the one ignoring them. These hard times force you into some real realizations, and I was so ungrateful for that.

So now that my birthday’s getting close, it’s okay even if all I can afford is a birthday cake. As long as I have them with me on my special day, that’s enough to make me happy.

I didn’t gamble today 😊 One day at a time and God bless us all ❤️‍🩹

Just want to take a moment to thank my mom, my two siblings, and my partner for sticking by me through this recovery. They’re not here on Reddit, but I’m just so grateful for all of them, because they never gave up on me.

Also want to share that I didn’t gamble today and barely had any urges. God bless us all, one day at a time.

I remember the time guilt completely swallowed me after my last relapse. The thoughts I had were dark. I thought about ending it, or even committing fraud at work just to pay off my debts. But I’m glad I didn’t let myself lose.

Back then I used to think about ending my life. Now, I pray every day that I don’t die anytime soon, because I don’t want to pass this burden onto the people I love.

I hope y’all didn’t gamble today. One day at a time.

Didn’t gamble today. Small progress, but I’m actually really happy about it.

So I’ve mentioned this before, but I started a YouTube channel after my last relapse. It’s basically me forcing myself into a healthy distraction instead of falling back into old habits. My first 5 videos had pretty rough editing, not gonna lie lol. But now I actually have 1 subscriber and I’m genuinely hyped about it lol 😂🥰🥹

These videos are my outlet now. I’ve started getting excited thinking up ideas for the next ones, and almost everything I upload has some piece of my own experience woven into it. I just want people to relate to what I’m putting out there.

That’s it for today. Just wanted to share the small stuff too, not just the hard days.

God bless us all. ODAAT ❤️‍🩹

I went to my first Friday Mass today. What stuck with me the most was something the priest said: “make your life meaningful.” It hit straight through my chest.

It’s been years since I last attended Mass, so long that my own siblings started thinking I’d become an atheist 🤣 But I think what we really needed all along was redirection, because we’d lost our way. Now more than ever, we need Him to guide us back to the right path.

I’m hoping we all get through what we’re going through right now. Let’s make our lives meaningful. Let’s stop living in the darkness that this addiction brings.

If you feel like you can’t take it anymore, let yourself cry if it’s too heavy to hold. Acknowledge what you’re feeling. That’s normal. But after that, we need to get back up again, because hope is real.

Let’s stop passing this burden onto the people we love.

God bless us all. ODAAT

It’s honestly heartwarming how many people interacted with my last post. But at the same time, it’s heavy reading everyone’s experiences. Being a gambler is an expensive lesson to learn.

But I believe everything happens for a reason. Let’s just always remind ourselves of the worst possible outcomes if we ever feel the urge to gamble again. Don’t let ourselves suffer for the rest of our lives because of it.

Let’s get back up, okay? One day at a time ❤️‍🩹

For me?

**•**	Ended up with 400k in debt. I don’t owe money to any individual person, but I racked it up across a bunch of different loan apps.  
**•**	One time I took 15 days’ worth of work pay and lost it all in 15 minutes of gambling.  
**•**	Lied to the people I love about quitting, more than once.  
**•**	Missed work because I couldn’t sleep, dealing with depression that came straight from the losses.

I hope that whoever reads this, it’s one more reason to really think about whether you want to keep gambling and keep lying to yourself. We can do this, we just gotta support each other. Honestly one of the things that’s helped me most is posting an update here every single day. It forces me to see, over and over, all the dumb things I did because of gambling.

Day 20 no gambling. One day at a time. We got this.

Today feels a little different. I’ve officially made it past my previous streak before I relapsed.

That doesn’t mean recovery gets easier overnight, but it reminds me that I’m moving forward, not backward.

Still a long way to go, but I’ve come a long way too.

Still fighting. Still getting back up. ODAAT ❤️‍🩹

Missed yesterday’s update because my partner and I were going through a rough patch, and I honestly thought we were going to break up.

The good news? I didn’t relapse.

In the past, I probably would’ve used it as an escape. This time, I sat with the emotions instead.

We’re okay now, and I’m grateful for that.

ODAAT ❤️‍🩹

We can’t get back the money we lost, but we can always earn it again. Be kind to yourself sometimes. Buy your favorite food, take a walk, or reward yourself for choosing recovery today.

We may have lost money, but we don’t have to lose ourselves too.

Keep going. Better days are ahead.

One day at a time. ❤️‍🩹

Today marks two weeks without gambling, and I’m really proud of myself.

I’d be lying if I said I never think about gambling anymore. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “What if I pay off all my debts someday? Will I go back?”

That’s when I remind myself of the worst-case scenario.

What if I end up with even more debt? What if I lose the people I love? What if they finally give up on me?

Sometimes, thinking about what we stand to lose is what keeps us moving forward.

If you truly want to change, stop entertaining thoughts like:

“Maybe I’ll win this time.”
“It’s been a while, maybe my luck has changed.”
“I can win my losses back.”

I’ve never regretted not gambling, but I’ve regretted every relapse.

Seeing people in this community celebrate another sober day, pay off their debts, or start saving money again gives me hope.

Recovery starts when we decide to help ourselves. No one can do that part for us.

One day at a time.

Been keeping myself busy with a new hobby lately. Making videos and learning along the way. It’s nice to have something positive to look forward to every day.

ODAAT.

Small progress update. Today I was able to pay my monthly bills again out of this mountain of debt I’ve built up. But this time, I’m not overwhelmed, I started tracking everything I’ve already paid off and exactly how much is left.

Before, I’d get so drowned in how much I owed that it triggered 3 relapses, because I kept thinking I could just win it all back. Not anymore. Right now I’m just genuinely happy with this small progress.

If you’re in the same boat, I hope you start moving forward too. Let go of the losses and the debt from gambling, we can’t undo that or win it back. But we can absolutely come back and choose ourselves instead. Hope you do too.

ODAAT ❤️‍🩹

Winning isn’t proof that gambling works. It’s often what keeps us gambling.

It gives us hope when we should be walking away. It makes us believe we’re different, that we’ll know when to stop.

If you’ve been losing, don’t wait for one big win to quit. And if you’ve been winning, don’t let it convince you to stay.

Please choose yourself over one more bet.

One day at a time.