u/PlaystationSwitchAWD

Good day folks,

The spouse has occasionally utilized sleep deprivation tactics to disrupt my sleep. This especially hurts when I volunteer early at church and at the homeless shelter on weekends. I have evidence that I am there volunteering. I also have evidence of loud noise late at night of up to 95 decibels. Noise cancelling earphones and sleep aids don’t work at that level of disruption. So I have resorted to sleeping at work when I need to volunteer early the next morning. I am also exploring a protection order and am still searching for a lawyer. Just wanted to check if this counts as abandoning the home or if she can spin it against me. I still keep the home clean, functional, and pay majority of bills. Thank you.

Good day folks,

I've been having difficulty finding a lawyer who is available and who I feel I can trust.

I am dealing with a covert narcissist who continues to abuse me and physical violence from her is imminent.

Most law firms are either slow to respond or not accepting new clients at this time. A lawyer from a firm that serves several states got back to me and met with me. She didn't discuss any strategy or say anything that is convincing. I found out she is also a new graduate.

Is it a good idea to pay a retainer with someone who has no public reviews, but lower price, and works for a firm with great reviews?

Or should I keep searching? How many firms did you reach out to before finding a lawyer you like and trust and has sufficient experience to win?

Good morning folks,

I am actively looking to retain a divorce attorney because the spouse has been abusing me for a while.

I am currently paying double of her amount for the mortgage, and it’s highly probable that she will not pay either now or in the future.

She’s been using sleep deprivation tactics, cutting off electricity and wifi for my devices, throwing my items in my private room, and setting up roadblocks throughout the house.

I am thinking to pay it tomorrow if she doesn’t pay soon, and try to get it back in the final judgement?

EDIT: It’s a community property state.

Thank you

Every evening, the spouse shuts off the exterior nights so when I come home late, I have to use a flashlight because it's very dark. The switch controls the power and WIFI for those lights.

She also sets up roadblocks inside the house to make it harder for me to get to my room.

I'm documenting both with video evidence while I search for a lawyer.

She stopped doing the sleep deprivation tactics which I have a lot of evidence for.

Is lawyer, protection order, grey rock, and trying to diffuse the situation the best approach for this issue?

Thanks.

Good afternoon folks,

I've contacted several lawyers, and the earliest appointment is next week. I've also been conflicted out by several lawyers I want to speak to.

I've also contacted several domestic abuse resources and the earliest appointment is tomorrow.

Last night a 3am the spouse tried to force her away into my room. She only stopped after realizing it was barricaded.

She also tried to illegally sell our home and our car without me. (she failed).

She turned off the electricity and WIFI at will, disabled my remote control to the garage, went into my private room when I'm not home and took items and threw items to the floor.

I got a security cam and she moved it before doing her deeds.

I am carrying a cross, bible, recorder, and phone to collect evidence.

What else can I do? I fear she will escalate things even further very soon

Thanks.

Good morning folks,

At 3am the spouse tried to make a forced entrance into my private room of our house. My room is barricaded from the inside.

I have my phone ready to record and there is a security cam in the room as well. She’s tampered with the cam in the past so there’s no so evidence when she takes stuff or throws my belongings to the floor.

She’s been treating me with extreme contempt. She tried unsuccessfully to sell our home and car without my permission. Domestic violence and abuse staff say she matches a narcissistic personality and I should consider living away from the home if things continue to escalate.

Looking for lawyers now and also taking to counsellor.

What else can I do?

Thanks.

Howdy folks,

I have a narcissist wife who is abusing me. I've spoken to a few lawyers and will decide on which one to retain soon.

My spouse took full frontal nude pics of me during a trip from a decade ago. Should I tell the lawyer to issue an official notice to the spouse to not release it? Or would that just trigger the spouse to want to release it even more?

I don't want my parents or coworkers to see it. It would be embarrassing, but not the end of the world.

If it does occur, can the spouse be charged with a crime?

Thank you.

Howdy folks,

I signed up for the $25 membership today and am planning to visit my home gym sometime between Thursday - Sunday for workouts and showers.

I completed the following so far:

• Downloaded the app and setup auto payment
• Assembled a gym bag, hygiene bag, lock, towel, water bottle, granola bars
• Got some gym clothes
• Watched their welcome videos
• Used their virtual tour on their website
• Checked their hours

Do i need to take a photo or speak to staff? Do I scan my phone at the front desk?

I am well kept, socially awkward, and temporarily homeless. Is there anything else I need to prepare for my 1st visit?

Thank you kindly.

I have a friend who I met online through a common Facebook friends group of in-person friends who I met 10+ years ago. Let's call him Chuck.

Here is some of Chuck's behaviors

* Sends me a flurry of Facebook messenger messages, many of them Facebook reels or Instagram reels or sentence fragments (very seldomly his own media).
* I think he does this to keep the communication warm for when it's time to cash in (see below)
* At the 11th hour on Friday night or Saturday night, there would be a flurry of messages that he's coming to visit me in the US. Of course he expects me to be available.
* He's from outside the US. On 3 occasion, he asked if he could stay with my spouse and I when I only met him twice. (I declined).
* When I want to discuss real issues with him, whether in person or through messages, he tries to shut down the conversation or blame it on me, without even asking how I am doing
* I often ignore his Facebook reels or Instagram reels these days. When the unread message count from him reaches 15+, he will say how's it going bro? or yo whats up?
* When I only met him a few times, he wanted me to go to a road trip and split the cost with him. I declined
* He seems to want to stress that we have the same religion, same politics, same thought process, same this or that, etc
* When we talk in person, there is a lot to talk about
* Every time he comes to the US, I have to wait for him because he is late. He has no cell data. I probably met him about 6 times now in the US. I've never visited him in Canada.

I've been used and abused several times in my life. I feel like he may be using me for company and splitting costs and accommodation.

Thanks.

https://preview.redd.it/slj6i5purr5h1.jpg?width=860&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28425122adb6ed9dfbe076b85e852d4443a36ac8

Howdy folks,

I have a '25 Legacy Premium without the keyfob. It's a physical key with buttons on it like this image.

The dealer gave me 2 keys (with buttons on it), and a valet key. The hostile spouse has 1 of those keys (with the buttons on it).

In the event that I can't get that key back, can the dealership remotely terminate one of those keys or issue new keys to me? I'll be going in for my car maintenance in August/September and will also be asking the service advisor. What is the most practical approach?

Thank you.

Good afternoon folks,

I am a victim of domestic abuse. I am living at home in a separate room in a house I paid the majority for.

I've been using the grey rock technique for a few weeks now as I recover from serious illness and and also to get all my ducks in a row. It's possible that I may be close to full strength by August/September.

The spouse has started banging pots and pans at midnight to disrupt my sleep, at the expense of disrupting her own sleep. Sometimes she does laundry at 3am, and blast the TV at the same time. She also goes into my private room when I am not home to inspect my belongings, throw stuff to the floor and reposition my security camera inside my private room. (Is that even legal?)

I would say from 7am to midnight daily, I am at my work office to work, take naps, and also play video games sometimes. I also have my church community and my gym community. The gym and work office also provide a place to shower when I need it.

Is the grey rock technique actually working? Is it the safest approach? The spouse is not someone who negotiates in good faith. It's her way or the highway. She is a person who wants money and wants 100% obedience and control. I fear things may escalate soon and I may need to call 911. I do have an audio recorder running on me at all times inside the house.

Despite sickness, I am still keeping the house clean, and paying the majority of bills. But I've started to do a bit less now because this person just keeps taking, and doesn't give.

What else can I do to not escalate the situation?

Thank you.

Good day folks,

Does anyone know if overnight parking at Ash Way Park & Ride is permitted or not? I may need to sleep in my car or office temporarily due to personal reasons. I have been checking signage and only see the tow truck company, but not actual law prohibiting overnight parking.

I work in Seattle and park at Ash Way, take a bus to light rail station, before taking Link straight to office. I have seen security patrolling Ash Way occasionally. I see heavy security patrols at Lynnwood City Center parking garage, so that’s probably out of the question.

My other option is to sleep at my work office occasionally. I have a cot and portable mattress I use sometimes for quick naps because I am the office for 12 hours each day, 7 days a week.

Thank you.

Good afternoon folks,

I may be living temporarily in a car and/or office for a short period of time as transitional living situation plays out.

There is a Anytime Fitness near my home, office, church, and light rail station.

I primarily need a place to shower daily or twice daily. And of course use the treadmill and do light weights and stretching.

Are there any tips for signing up to optimize the experience? I mainly want to prioritize having a private shower and convenience.

Are there any sign up fees or locked in contracts? Does it matter what branch I sign up at or do my free trial at? Is there a better alternative to this that has 24/7 private showers?

Thank you so much.

Good afternoon gentlemen,

A few days ago, the spouse made an illegal threat of selling our house without me. I think things may escalate soon. I'm going to keep treating her with as much kindness and respect as she continues to abuse me financially, emotionally, and verbally. I'm going to keep being a calm grey rock as treats me with a master/slave dynamic. I've reached out to professionals and started to get all my ducks in a row. Wondering what else to expect and what else may happen and what else to do? The spouse has made a lot of ultimatums and threats in the past. Each time I caved in to an ultimatum, I realized in hindsight that it was further increasing the master/slave dynamic. While doing so bought me temporary relief, it made her even more aggressive and abusive towards me. It's really sad that a 10 year relationship which started out as a 50/50 partnership is now at a point everything must be her way or the highway. Sorry for the rant and thanks for reading.

Howdy folks,

I've been a people pleaser all my life and gave out tips even when I got bad service.

This past week, I did not tip at a take out Mexican food truck and also at a Vietnamese restaurant where they assemble your food at the counter and take it to go. Both places wanted a 20% default tip and I declined and it felt GREAT. I thought they would give me a nasty look or say something offensive but they didn't. I was so relieved.

I have a question as well. It just occurred to me that a restaurant I dined in at (outside the USA) charged me a card convenience fee and a tip. It was a $30 meal, with a 3% card fee, plus a 15% tip. They didn't tell me ahead of time that there would be fees. Is that legal? Next time if a restaurant puts a card fee, and I dined in, can I just give 10% tip or zero tip?

Thanks.

Howdy folks,

Apologizing in advance for the newbie question from an old timer.

Under what conditions does Claude share chats with others?

Eg: A big software hack? a diseases that might be infectious? a potential crime? A past crime? If someone is about to hurt themselves or hurt others? For improving the software among certain Claude senior engineers?

Thanks.