Struggling with baby in NICU and sick wife in hospital
First child. Mom is preeclamptic and required an emergency C section in the middle of the night a couple days ago. She’s not doing super hot and will be in the hospital longer than anticipated (after an already lengthy antepartum stay). Although she is sick, she’s in great spirits.
After the delivery, they immediately had me go over to baby and watch while they did all the stuff and I got to cut the cord. They briefly brought baby to mom so she could kiss her but that’s kinda it. I followed baby up to the NICU and stayed there for a couple hours while they went over all the stuff. Then back with mom in recovery until she got moved into postpartum. We went to visit later in the morning but mom had to go back to her unit because she was feeling so poorly. Since then mom’s only been able to go up one more time which was great, but she’s not allowed to leave again.
I just feel so guilty that I got to spend the first moments of baby’s life with her but mom didn’t. And then I get to hold her baby’s hand and be with her in NICU but mom’s stuck in her bed across the hospital. She keeps telling me that it’s ok and she’s happy I get spend time with baby (obviously), but I’m just hating that she was, frankly, traumatically separated from baby and doesn’t get to see her. It feels so cruel and like I’m unfairly getting an experience that she’s entitled to.
Any other NICU dads who had a similar experience? Any words of advice or anything would be appreciated.