r/NewDads

4 months in, loving being a dad, but feeling incredibly lonely. Anyone else?

I'm a new dad to a beautiful four-month-old daughter, who I love so much.

However, now that we're in a bit more of a routine, my wife has started going out again on Friday nights and taking days out with her mates. Don't get me wrong at all, it is so good for her mentally and I genuinely want her to get out.

But I feel like all I do is go to work and come home. While my wife is with the baby most of the day (which I fully appreciate is exhausting in its own right), she gets to go to baby classes and meet other new mums.

Meanwhile, I don't really have close friends of my own to go out with anymore, and I've just been feeling really lonely lately.

How did new dads get out of this and make new mates after having a baby?

Dad to a 9 week old girl here, since the birth i have been a bit *dizzy*.

Like walking on a boat not a rollercoaster! Its nothing with the chrystals in the ear like Dizzyness.

This and really tense neckmuscles..

Anyone Can relate?

Been to the hospital, they checked and vitals are looking Great.

So this is most likely related to the tense neck/jaw muscles.

When ny wife was pregnant, i did not feel any stress but now afterwards i Can understand that i have been stressed, just not knowing it myself..

So anyone Can relate?

Have a Nice day lads ❤️

just had our first two weeks ago and i grabbed whatever monitor was on the registry without thinking too much about it. turns out it's a basic video feed with no tracking, no insights, nothing. i'm staring at a grainy image at 2am wondering if what i'm seeing is normal and there's nothing to tell me one way or the other.

been looking at smart monitors that actually give you something useful, sleep pattern data, breathing detection through the camera, notifications that tell you something meaningful rather than just motion alerts that fire every time the baby twitches.

the bird's eye view angle keeps coming up as a big difference from standard cameras. being able to see the whole crib clearly rather than a weird angle that cuts off half the mattress seems like it should have been obvious from the start.

also want something i can check from my phone during the day without having to text my partner every time i want to know how the nap is going. the remote access piece feels more useful now that i'm back at work than i thought it would be before the baby arrived.

what are other dads here using that actually gives you useful information rather than just a live feed?

Backstory: Wife and I moved a few states over away from family last July for her job. We moved from TX to Illinois. I'm 36 and she is 34.

We want kids but I have always been hesitant from a financial perspective. We make average money for the area at 150k combined income.

My question for new Dads, when did you feel financially ok to start trying for a baby? For reference we rent an apartment and have 60k in savings, 125k in retirement and zero debt.

thanks in advance. On the one hand I think just 10k more in the bank will help but I feel like that is a never ending cycle and we should just start seriously trying.

I'm about to become a first-time dad, and my wife is currently 37 weeks pregnant with our baby girl. I've been doing my best to prepare for her arrival in every way I can. I've been learning how to cook so I can make meals for my wife during her postpartum recovery, I've gotten the pack and play set up, and I've been trying to educate myself as much as possible.

That said, I still feel like there are so many little things I don't know. Things like doctor's appointments, paperwork, what to expect in the hospital, and all the small details that experienced parents just seem to know. I want to do everything I can to support my wife, be the best dad I can be, and make this transition as smooth as possible for our family.

For those of you who've already been through this, what are the little things you wish someone had told you before your first baby arrived? What should I be doing now that will make a big difference once she's here?

we go in for a c section tomorrow at 530 am we are super excited but I am nervous on how not nervous I am lol is that a thing? iv helped raise my cousins and neice a little but this is my first , I feel like as soon as i see my daughter it will hit me but idk it's kind if wild, we are super prepared I have 6 weeks off work so everything good but yeah super excited throw some good energy my way for smooth delivery 🤞

Today is the little guy’s first day of day care and my wife and I are both having a hard time adjusting. I’ve been back at work for a few months now but mostly work from home and it was great knowing that I could just go downstairs and see him, and it sucks that I can’t do that now.

We’ll be picking him up between 4-5 every day whenever we finish up work, shiv realistically means we really only have a couple hours in the morning after he wakes up and a couple hours at night before he goes to bed to spend with him. Which just sucks.

Anyone else have a hard time with this transition have some advice on how to deal?

Hello fellow dads, new dad here and new to this sub I stumbled upon while googling. Just had my baby a week ago and it's a very surreal experience that I'm still processing.

Mainly worried if I'm doing it right helping my wife, sometimes feel helpless when my baby cries when we've changed his diaper, fed him, and swaddled. Also a bit worried when I have to go back to work in 6 months since I'm getting at least 12 weeks off from work (I'm taking the rest of the time that's unpaid to be with my wife and baby). Just hope I'm being a good dad overall.

Venting here, but also looking to get some sort of reassurance from other exoerienced dads that things get better. Feel vulnerable talking to other acquaintances who are dads since I'm not all that close. Really appreciate any positivity dads can give me since I'm starting off my journey just now. Thank you.

It's been a while since I posted and I know this isn't exactly a new dad thing but I am struggling and all my wife wants to do is fix me and I hate it.

For mothers day my wife asked if I could take our daughter to my MIL house in the mountains and stay a few days to give her some time off. Unfortunately I was unable to do so that because of work until this weekend (4th of July) but rather than the Mts we drove with my MIL to her second home about 5 hours away.

Everything was fine, me and my daughter and MIL, the drive was easy and without any craziness. However when we arrived my SIL was there with her husband, 5yo and 1yo and for whatever reason my Daughter just latched to her husband like glue! asking for hugs and uppies and all that but was simultaneously being a bit cruel to me.

Now I'm not a huge fan of this guy because of the way he treats my SIL but I wont get into that here but it gutted me. I didn't expect it and for two days I basically got grumpy defiant daughter and everyone else got sweet baby. I'm also dealing with my moms Jealousy over my MIL and me going to her house for the weekend. So she's basically ignoring me or being short with me. This is a common thing I have been dealing with for a while now. the real issue is my family is heavy on the random last minute planning and my wife's is the plan 6 months in advance type so it often leads to us having made plans well before the holiday and I guess it leaves my mom feeling left out or not prioritized. That said it's gotten to a point where I have to just let what happens happen because I am way to busy in with work and life to be moderating for 70yo's. For context, my parents of my wife's parents don't really get along. they are cordelle with each other but don't go out of their way to spend time together. I do invite everyone to be together every time we make plans but it rarely happens.

In general right now I'm feeling like I only exist to help clean and care for and cook and generally just maintain everything but I am not here to be loved or cared for myself. My wife and I are very different, I'm touchy feely and she is acts of service or words of affirmation. After 6 years I am pretty well use to it but I hate that my daughter is moving in that direction.

My brain is telling me to chill and that she's only 3 and there isn't anything I can do and it's not personal but my heart is making me feel very unloved. My wife asked me why I seemed sad and I told her about my mom ignoring me (For context, my parents moved 5 min from me to be closer to us and the baby but they and my in-laws struggle to get along) and about the baby and my BIL but I got a lot of laughing and oh you're so silly from my MIL and my wife. Of course after the MIL left and my wife could see I was actually struggling, she has started to try and do little things to cheer me up but honestly it just feels disingenuous and my sadness just makes her uncomfortable so she wants it to stop.

Anyway, I'm not even sure why I'm making this post, maybe just to get it out or maybe to see if anyone else has experienced something similar or maybe to reinforce that what I am feeling is silly and I'm being ridiculous?

To really put into context of how I am feeling, I feel like I am the unfun rule dad because my wife is almost always letting her do whatever she wants but I am often the one who has to clean up after her messes and or deal with the fall out when my daughter inevitably drops something of sentimental value that my wife decided "It's fine, I don't care" but she really does care. I feel like a bad dad and just the dad that makes the rules and makes sure she is following them but not the dad she runs too to give a hug when she comes home from daycare or the dad that she askes to be held by or whatever, Some of it is my own doing, I started a new career/business 5 years ago that has grown and is beginning to consume more and more time but when I am off I try to be present and I try to play with her as much as I can but I can't seem to make any headway. My wife spends about as much time with her as I do, sometimes less. when we are both in the room she clings to mommy but that I understand.

also one more thing I forgot to mention, when we were at the MIL house, my daughter called me by my first name and called my BIL buy Daddy and his first name like "Daddy Todd", that's not his name but you get the idea.

Anyhow thanks for listening. looking forward to the responses.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve read a million things about this and have so much conflicting information.
I reached out to my pediatrician, still waiting for a response.

My daughter is 5 months old in 6 more days.
She keep rolling onto her stomach, facedown at night.
I’m nervous she will suffocate herself, so I stay up all night rolling her back over to her back.
It’s been like this for 3-4 days now.

Hi, so my Baby Mom and I are split and we share a newborn child. Now I get the fact that as a newborn our child should be primarily with the mother. Our initial agreement was at 3 months of get every other weekend, and at 1 year we’d get 50/50. Both the problem is that my child’s mother doesn’t like the idea that some weeks I get to have the baby more than her. What do I do?

Edit:

She’s also making the point of not wanting 50/50 because she doesn’t have a license or a good job while I do. In addition, she’s already allowed me to have overnight stays for the past several weekends and she doesn’t breast feed at all.

Edit 2

I’d also like to add that mom and I live less than 10 minutes away from each other.

Does anyone else feel like their spouse sometimes acts like your child is only their child?

My wife will leave the house and hang out with her friends with our daughter, and I don’t complain. But I feel like if I did the same thing, it would become an issue.

When I’m spending time with my baby girl, I like doing my own thing to entertain her and bond with her. But my spouse is often trying to tell me what to do or how to do it, and it makes me feel like I don’t really get the space to parent in my own way.

I honestly feel like I wouldn’t even be able to just be with my baby girl at the zoo without her rushing me to come home. Our baby girl is breastfed, and I’ve told her I can use a bottle if I’m out with her, but she disagrees.

For context, my wife is still on parental leave and I just returned to work. We both work from home, but within my first week back, she got upset and said she’s been doing a lot more than I have. I understand she’s carrying a lot, but I also feel like I’m adjusting to being back at work while still trying to be present and helpful as a dad.

Am I overthinking this, or has anyone else dealt with something similar?

I never thought being a parent would be this hard.my kid has been having bad dreams for the past few weeks,I can't sleep well,everytime I try she'd be screaming for daddy at 2am in the morning,I'm a single dad with a daughter and I try my very best to make sure that she is happy.

I have been going to a therapist lately but that bit*h would be telling to be strong like I'm some kind of a Marvel super hero.please pass me some advise on how I can deal with this🙏

My wife and i have been married around 3.5 years. Both of us are around 31 years. We have been having issues over having a baby wherein she feels that’s all she wants or will want in life whereas presently i don’t feel i have any kind of paternal instinct. We’ve been arguing over it for the past few days wherein it’s all we talk about and now she says either we go ahead and plan and that i trust her or she wants me to let go of her. What do i do?

I've been tracking the CO2 levels in our nursery sleeping with windows closed. even with the air purifier running, the numbers spike past 1300. The purifier handles dust, but it doesnt bring in fresh air.

cracking a window here is a terrible tradeoff. cold drafts, pollen, and street noise make it feel unsafe around a baby. been looking for a no-drilling lightweight fresh air system. I saw a pre-launch concept from cozeware freshflow on kickstarter that claims to pull filtered outside air in.

just not sure if these window mounted units actually move enough air without waking the baby.

I’ve recently became a father to my beautiful son, I’m co parenting with my ex fiancée. We are civil and support one another but whenever I’m not under the same roof as my son I can’t sleep, my mind seems to be running overtime and worrying. I’m not sure if it’s separation anxiety, hormones, a mix of the two.

If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice I would greatly appreciate anything that’s helped

My little boy is 15 months and I absolutely love him to pieces. Today is just one of those days.

Hurt my back doing garden work yesterday (the cliché dad injury) so I'm not at my best reaction speed.

I swear my little man knows I'm not %100. This morning he managed to swat my coffee out of my hands (no burns or injuries, it was already pretty cold, a lot of cleanup though). He also was playing with a bottle of water, which I don't know if it's frowned upon but he really likes watching the water slosh about so I just let him bat them around the room, anyway he manages to get the screw top open which I didn't think he would, more cleanup.

We're on outfit #3 and it's only been a couple hours, he also keeps biting me and having tantrums if I don't pick him up, but then bites or struggles when I do. I feel like I'm just in survival mode until it's his nap time, one of those days.

Rubbish rant I know, thanks for reading..

Yeah what the title says. Posting appropriately 3
Mins after wiping both our tears and his. Had to share. Hope this is the right sub.

How many ounces do they eat in one sitting?

I noticed that most comparisons focus on image quality but very few talk about what its actually like after months of daily use. A crisp picture doesnt help much if the app takes forever to load or randomly disconnects when you need it.

Im curious what people ended up keeping instead of replacing and did your priorities change once the novelty wore off or did something unexpected become the feature you appreciated most?