r/NewDads

Hey guys! My wife and I just brought home our beautiful daughter this afternoon. What are some small good tips/hacks on these first 6 weeks trenches? Thanks all in advance!

I worked out before my wife gave birth, yes, but ignored biceps because those muscles weren’t what I was trying to strengthen. then I see all these videos of mamas flexing their bi’s from carrying around their babies which is basically a static bicep hold is it not? I ain’t seeing shit my end…

500 things contributing. Lost my job, feeling embarrassed about not being able find another job, home stress at an all time high, I can feel my wife's resentment build up. But essentially been battling this for a while. Legitimately the only thing keeping me going is our 7 month old. Becoming a dad was the greatest possible thing, at the worst possible time.

I do, however, believe she might be pulling me through this. Babies are tough, but so cool.

Dad to a 4month old.

We cleared the colic hell of the first 12 weeks thank god! We had 3 weeks of a better baby, like so much better.

Now she’s fighting day time sleep and she spends most of her time slamming her feet down like a little mini wale. Currently I sleep in her room with her in the cot and me on the floor. This was fine until she turned into free willy and feet slams all through the night.

She also has a new habit of screaming the house down before she finally goes to sleep for the evening. Fun.

She’s never slept well during the day and only ever slept on us (she only ever slept on us 24/7 for the first 8 weeks).

Is this a form of the sleep regression?

We don’t really know what to do as we can’t really track wake windows as she just doesn’t sleep during the day and or does so on her own chaotic schedule.

Help.

For context, we found out 6 months ago, I am the biological father to a 3.5yo girl. Story is a little complex. But we both didnt have any clue until I asked for the test, so both of us are at fault. I met her for 4 days in February, then a week in April. Now im here for the month just hanging around doing my thing and being available when they have time. Its going great, especially since the visit before was just too much stress for everyone fitting me in. But even though I dont see her as much as I want, im enjoying every moment I spend with her and am very appreciative of the time her mother is somehow carving out in her busy schedule for me.

I live 800km, we have been since week one doing weekly video calls and will be doing my best to make monthly visits when I start work again in a few weeks.

She calls me "papa" and can only occasionally hold her hand, very rarely a hug, most often at the moment i can get at best a hi5. Im very patient and I know it takes time, but I find it hard to know i want those hugs and full connection and come to me when she's crying. I normally just laugh it off when she pushes me away and tells me to leave with her sassy look (I kinda love it).

I know she doesn't trust me yet and I still do get moments of closeness with her. I just don't want to be set back to the start every time I come visit. Any extra tips to keep her thinking about me between gaps would be appreciated?

(I.e. I will have another month off in November to spend with them and won't be possible until next year this time to move here)

Any ideas of what to request or do on this day?

Good day all,

29M Sydney Aus

I am currently in a big hole and not seeing a way out.

2.5 years ago I realised I had ballooned out to 130kg.
Went to a pt for 4 months got down to 105kg
Then couldn’t afford it anymore so went on my own but for 12 months I fluctuated between 105-115kg.
Even with a better pt last year and doing more I couldn’t get below 110 again.
Then son born in Aug and haven’t done anything since due to office work and baby no energy or time I feel to work out or get better.
I am addicted to food and can’t stop eating and I hate myself for it.
I want to be back at a healthy weight sub 100 but ideally lower but 100 by end of year would be awesome.

How do new parents lose weight with no time or energy?

Just wanted to vent about my 6mo old son. I love him, he’s the best thing to happen to me. His smile brightens my day, brings me such joy and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. That being said this guy fucking hates his crib. We’ve attempted to sleep train him for weeks and he hated it. Did not work. He wakes every few hours. I just flipped roles with mom. I’m fortunate to being to spend a month with him and I’m now the SAHD for a couple weeks. Mom needs to get up in the morning and I want her to sleep.

Problem #1: Because he’s so tall, and is trying to stand in his crib, we have it on the lowest setting. It’s just more distance for him to have a startle reflex when he’s drowsy. Soon as he hits the mattress, he’s livid. Crying for 30-45 mins straight if we don’t intervene.

Problem #2: I think he’s very intelligent and understands his environment. This is not a problem problem (long term) but I fear we’re doing harm psychologically because associates things so well. Example, getting ready for bed. We can do a bath, he’s happy but as soon as we put him in pajamas or sleep sack, it’s bloody murder. He has such negative emotions towards sleep and I don’t know how to break it. This has been going on for multiple weeks now. I fear he’s already started separation anxiety like he knows we’re about put him in his crib and leave him and that destroys him. Even when we put him in a play pen, he’ll sometimes start to break down because he’s confined and can’t see us for a minute. Like full tears, like he thinks we abandoned him when I’m in the kitchen 7ft away.

Problem 3: I don’t want to contact nap with him forever. I may have a big role to play in this as I rocked him to sleep when he was younger. He’s only gotten more affectionate in his naps, I can now feel him holding and embracing me, so I know he feels safe and secure. He prolly loves it but he’s got to learn how to sleep on his own. We tried the check in method, it only triggered him more every time he saw us/felt our presence. The cry it out method not my go to. It’s never fun, but there’s gotta be a limit, 30-40 mins is as long as I’ll go which seems excessive.

I’m sure people have gone through this and it might be something I have to deal with and it’ll phase out. But anything helps. Like any tricks to make sleeping in a crib fun. Or just getting your baby to self soothe better

Hello bretheren, I’m in for a round 2 and just like round 1 my son is having terrible reflex. He can’t sleep for more than 20 mins. Any tips for a baby with a reflex. He is not a happy spitter and these are not normal spit ups. Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated!

I(19m) got my fiancee(18f) pregnant. It was unplanned and we only found out today. I recently lost my job and I move been on the search for another one but it’s been unfruitful so far as the job industry in my area sucks since I live close to Mexico, however I am still actively trying. Anyway to get on with what I’m saying, as I recently lost my job and we live with her parents, I’m worried that her parents will kick us out because I have no job and we’ll be having a baby in 9 months. I don’t know what I’m doing and I have low self esteem and my dad was absent throughout my childhood so I’m worried that I’ll be a terrible father, since I never had a role model when I was growing up. I love my fiancee dearly and I plan to stick around throughout the pregnancy and not leave her even after the baby, as I intend to marry this girl. But what I’m trying to say is how should I break this to my family, and after I’m working again how do I break it to her father and the rest of her family. Any tips and pointers on fatherhood would also be much appreciated.

So, here is the scenario: I am a full time working dad of a 4 months old baby which I deeply love but I am feeling horribly.

My GF is still in maternity leave, and I know how tiring is to take care of the baby 24/7, which is why anytime I have a break I take the baby so she can have some relief but the point is that this way, I never have a real break because I am all the time either working, taking care of the baby or cooking or doing some stuff at home.

When the day is finally over, and I finally get to bed, I can't have more than 3 hours of sleep without being interrupted by the baby screaming which is exausting on the long run.

I recently built a PC and I realised that playing 1-2 hours before going to bed (when the baby is sleeping) really calms me down and helps me feeling better, but now I have my GF complaining about the fact that I am neglecting my role as a partner. I tried to explain to her that it helps me mentally but it quickly turned into an argument as she struggles to get that as she sees it as something really silly and selfish (while spending time in front of Netflix in the evening seems to be acceptable for her). I am also realising that there are really few things that we enjoy doing together.

At the same time I am feeling guilty for finding relief in something that literally keeps me away from my role as a dad and partner and I also feel quite demotivated because since the baby came I know I am underperforming at work as well.

I am feeling like I am failing on all the fronts and I really want to avoid a burnout as I am starting to feel angry all the time.

Is it normal to feel this way? Is there a way out at a certain point?

BTW, we're both expats so the grandparents are abroad and not an option for support.

Ok so I've been trying to Google this "phenomenon", coming up blank, and I'm just wondering if anyone has experienced something similar. I'm a new dad, currently in the postpartum, and I'm noticing my stool smells like my son's stool. In particular, the "formula'ish" odor it gives off. I'd like to note that this isn't a joke...no, I'm obviously not drinking the formula...and I'm asking this because this isn't the first time. Had the same experience when we had our daughter 3 years ago.

I know this is certainly psychological but I was wondering if anyone has experienced this before? To be clear, it still smells like normal stool but it has this very noticeable "baby formula" off odor to it.

Middle of the night? Who watched the other kid(s)? Wife have all her stuff? You have all yours? You know the address of the hospital? Bag already packed? What was in the bag?? Who do you let know it’s happening? When do you let them know?! What else am I missing?

I know about “birth plans” but when my second kiddo arrived at 2am and sooner than the scheduled c section, that all went out the window, so just curious what ya’ll did/how you handled it all.

Been on this sub reddit for a while now while we were preparing for the arrival of my little girl but just now posting for the first time. I’m a 25 year old father. When I tell you I felt prepared for this to the max I truly mean it but now that she’s here I get scared about every little thing. My brain is in constant go mode all the time, it doesn’t stop as hard as I try. I worry about her health, whether i’m doing things right, her future, if i’ll be a better father than my own dad was. Literally everything you can imagine. I’ve never been the depressed type, I’ve always felt like i’m the type of person that can be good at anything as long as I put my mind to it but this is just different. I feel scared. She’s 2 months old in a week and it hasn’t gotten any better. I find myself thinking if I made the right choice bringing her into this world and just having that thought in my head makes me more sad. I try my best to hide it from my partner because I know she’s going through so much more than me right now but she knows me too well and knows when i’m not being myself. Any dads go through the same feelings? How did you manage it and when did it get better?

Sometimes I spend half the night googling random things because I keep thinking I’m missing something 😭
Being a new mom is really an emotional rollercoaster