u/Abject-Start5312

We got into a very big misunderstanding.

Our official breakup happened last August 2025. She painted me as a cheater, spread false accusations about me, and clearly ruined my reputation before hearing my side. She never listened to my side; she just put me in a situation where I couldn’t defend myself anymore. (I honestly didn’t cheat.)

We talked for a couple of months again. We were not exclusively together. I tried to pursue her again, courted her again—I don’t know why I did that when I was the one done wrong. We acted like a couple again, yet I didn’t have any right to her. Why? Because she kept telling me, “You’re not my girlfriend,” “We are not in a relationship.” Well, that was my last straw, and then I wanted to make her feel the same.

I talked to this girl for 3 days. I ranted everything to her. I used this girl as my trauma dumpster and told her everything. I didn’t see this girl as someone I would be with or someone I wanted to be with romantically. However, as I backread, I somehow noticed I gave some words or conversations that could lead to misunderstanding.

My ex got outraged and told me I cheated again. I don’t know—she clearly told me we’re not together. And if I ever really pursued someone new while we were talking, what should she say if we are “not girlfriends”?

Well, we talked for months again, and I was apologizing because I “cheated” on her and betrayed her. I was trying to win her back again. This went on for over 4 months, and now I stopped and am trying to find self-worth because what the hell am I asking or apologizing for? Well, I hope I’m wrong and she’s right. I don’t want to hurt her more, so I decided to leave that relationship. I became toxic after our official breakup because I held resentment toward her.

Me and my ex broke up last August due to the reason that she accused me of cheating and spread false news that I cheated, yet clearly I did not. She didn’t hear my explanation; she just left me there, alone.

After a week, I contacted her. I went to her place to seek answers—why she did that and why she didn’t believe me. We talked, and eventually I told her that I would court her again and try to bring her back. I felt like a fool for doing it, yet I was the one who was clearly hurt.

We talked again, acting like a couple, yet she kept telling me that I am not her girlfriend anymore and that we don’t have a label. Every time I asked who that girl on her IG was, she always said it’s not my business and that I shouldn’t be bothered because we are not girlfriends. I was hurt by the words she kept saying: “I am not your girlfriend,” “Ano ba kita?” It came to a point where I built a lot of resentment and hate toward her.

Then, I talked to another girl, yet I had no plan to pursue anything romantic. I just wanted to rant about my breakup with my ex, and at the same time, I wanted to shift my attention away from her because I was clearly hurt and wanted to move on. At first, I already told this girl that I had not moved on from my ex and that I was not planning to enter any romantic relationship with anyone. However, I noticed that when I backread our conversations, I somehow said things that were engaging and could be easily misunderstood, but I know to myself that I had no plans of entertaining this girl on a different level.

My ex saw this and was outraged and angry, and kept saying I cheated. I kept defending myself that I did not. I already explained to the girl that I was trying to get my ex back and that I miss her.

I shouldn’t have pursued her or taken her back again and again when I already had feelings I couldn’t fully let go of. I blame myself because I should have just left her alone instead of letting her get hurt because of me. I feel like I ruined things, and I genuinely regret how I handled everything. I just want her to be happy now. I know she probably hates me, and I understand why.

Do you think I cheated on her? This time, what are your thoughts about this?