u/Abject_Lychee5815

I need honest opinions because I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting anymore.

I’m a stay at home mom to our 1 year old daughter, and I feel completely burnt out, overwhelmed, and honestly unappreciated and not respected. I do basically everything related to childcare and the household, while my husband acts like what I do either isn’t work or isn’t enough.

He works from home, and it has become a huge issue for me. I feel trapped in the apartment all day because he’s always there, constantly micromanaging me and parenting decisions.

For context I:
- co sleep with our daughter while he sleeps separately
- make all her meals every day (4 meals + 1–2 snacks)
- clean up after every meal
- do all the laundry
- organize her entire routine
- take her on 2 to 4 walks a day
-I watch her for 9 -11 hours everyday
- do basically all household cleaning

The only things he consistently does are unloading the dishwasher, occasionally loading it and taking the trash out maybe once a week. If I want him to do something else I have to kindly ask.

If I need time to clean something like the laundry room I have to ask him to watch our daughter, and he usually guilt trips me about how busy or stressed he is with work. His work is not that stressful btw, he spends most of his work hours scrolling on his phone.

Yesterday really pushed me over the edge. Around 7pm, he started insisting that our daughter was hungry and tired even tho she had eaten an hour earlier and had already napped 3 hours before. He made her a bottle and took her into the bedroom because apparently he “knew better.”

For the next hour she was clearly unhappy and crawling all over the bed while he sat scrolling on his phone(I was looking at rhe babycamera) Eventually she fell asleep at 8pm, which completely ruined her schedule and led to her not going to bed until 11pm instead of her normal 9pm.

Then afterward he told me, “She never cries around me only around you.”

That comment honestly made me furious.

At this point I’ve basically started protesting. I’m refusing to clean the food she threw all over the floor, not doing laundry, not cleaning, not doing extra stuff. I’m still taking care of our daughter properly, feeding her, changing her, making sure she’s okay, but I’ve stopped doing everything else.

I’ve even considered packing a suitcase and leaving for a while so maybe he finally understands how much I actually do. But realistically, if I walk out that door, there’s a good chance the marriage is over, and financially I’d be in a terrible position.

Another issue: where we live in the EU, I’m entitled to around €500–600 month plus another €150 month benefit as a stay at home parent. My husband refuses to let me apply because he’s a US citizen with past tax issues and is paranoid about anything government related.

So I’m stuck financially dependent on him even though this money would help me feel less like a burden.

I know I’m exhausted and resentful right now, but am I wrong for reacting this way? I’m so burnt out I don’t even cry anymore

Okay, I need to know if I’m wrong here, or if my husband is.

We have a daughter who will be one year old next week, and since she was born, she’s been very intense. She had colic for the first six months, has always had longer wake windows than other babies, and overall just requires a lot. For example, when she was only two months old, she would stay awake for up to 12 hours a day not crying, just impossible to get to sleep no matter what we tried. On top of all that, I was exclusively pumping full time.

My husband works from home, and I’ll admit it frustrated me seeing him go in and out of his office while I felt completely stuck managing a baby with silent reflux. I couldn’t really go anywhere because she was constantly crying and spitting up. It was incredibly isolating, and we don’t have a support system so everything has been on me and my husband.

I haven’t really had any time to myself postpartum. I only recently stopped pumping, and since then I’ve been trying to focus on losing weight and feeling better.

For the past month or so, I’ve been going on a one-hour walk every evening. My husband seems annoyed by this. It feels like he either expects me to take the baby with me or just stay home. He thinks me going for a walk every night is excessive. I suspect he’s frustrated because he has to watch the baby, and when I come back, she’s often already in the bath even tho it’s not bedtime yet.

What also bothers me is that he suggests I should take the baby with me, which would leave him with alone time at home. The thing is, I already take her on frequent walks almost every weekday we’re out for two hours, sometimes even longer.

My husband works from about 9 am to anywhere between 5-7 pm. I take care of our daughter from the moment she wakes up until he finishes work. I rarely even get to shower alone during the day and usually end up doing it late at night, which is frustrating.

I’m a stay at home mom, but am I really that unreasonable for wanting one hour to myself to go on a run or a walk every evening? All in all inc the walk I probably only have 2-3 hours for myself every day. Tonight, after the baby went to bed, he hasn’t spoken to me, and it’s obvious he’s upset. He knows that losing weight and taking care of myself is important to me, so I don’t understand the attitude, especially after spending the last 11 months feeling stuck at home