u/Able-District-9439

I lost my mom five days ago and it feels like my life has fallen apart the grief and pain is unbearable. I’m scared I won’t get through it. I just want my mom back. When I saw her after she died I begged her to stay close and to give me a sign she is still around. She’s my best friend I need her desperately. I don’t know if I believe in the afterlife but I desperately want it to be so. Why haven’t I heard or had any signs from her yet? I haven’t even dreamt of anything.

My mum has end stage renal failure and has a very low kidney function (below 10%) she is also 71 and has a history of a heart attack a few years ago. She has been in and out of hospital for several years now with issues relating to heart problems, gallbladder issues and bleeding in her stomach. She’s been on dialysis for around two months now and she’s had good and bad days. However even before dialysis her mobility wasn’t great and for the past few months she can barely get around much without being exhausted. A few months ago she was hospitalised for a recurring infection and fluid in her lungs too. Today she had to be rushed into hospital in terrible pain and now they are taking her for a CT scan and had to give her morphine for the pain. Could this be related to her dialysis?