I Feel Selfish
Hey everyone!! I’m new to this whole Reddit thing, so hopefully I’m doing this right, but I’ve just been feeling some feelings recently, and I feel like only other aromantic and asexual people can truly understand what I mean.
So… there’s this girl I go to high school with that I’ve been experiencing what I like to call “in-between attraction” for recently. I’m not romantically attracted to her, but if she liked me romantically, I would absolutely consider some sort of relationship, but there are a few issues to this scenario where she confesses she has feelings and wants a relationship:
- I’m like 90% sure she’s straight
I‘m not totally certain of this, just because I’m not inside her brain, but I’m also a girl, so that would complicate things a bit if she were straight. She says she’s straight, but some of my friends insist she acts like maybe she’s not?? I don’t know if they are just trying to be nice though.
- Both of our families are homophobic
So, in the scenario where she would like me back, it would be hard for both of us to figure out how to navigate it if we tried to be together, or (the more likely scenario) we decide not to do anything about it and her heart is broken.
- Her friend group is also grossly homophobic
So… yeah, if she liked me back, she wouldn’t have support from her friends or family…
And that leads me to the reason for titling this the way I did. I feel selfish because despite all of this, I still dream about and secretly kind of hope she likes me back, despite all the pain it would cause her to like me and the sheer fact that I don’t even like her romantically.
So, yeah. I just feel a little crap about myself for that, and I was wondering if anyone here has experienced anything similar, and if so, how did they deal with those feelings?