r/aromanticasexual

My son (13) has recently come out at aroace and I'm trying to find ways that I can be supportive. When I asked him he replied simply and plainly, "Don't tell me its a phase and don't tell me I'll grow out of it." I fully support him, regardless of how he feels now or in 5, 10, 30 years. I just want him to he happy and know he's loved.

My wife and I have always been queer advocates and have been exposed to LGBTQ+ since the late 80s but aroace is new to us.

Any advice?

The aspec community likes to make a strong distinction between one's romantic orientation and one's sexual orientation (split attraction model), but for me personally, they are a single orientation with no way to split it. I could not fathom being one without the other or thinking of them as separate things. I know there are people for whom they are definitely separate, but I'm just not one of them. I feel like I don't really have a sexual orientation or a romantic orientation, since those terms imply a split. I just have an "orientation" which is aroace (one word). Anyone else?

I’ve known that I’m aroace since my 7th grade year (I’m in 11th now) and I’ve known that I’m Apothisexual for a long time, but I’ve never found the right term for aromanticism for me.

Before you read may further I would like to clarify I am a minor so if you arent comfortable with speaking to me I understand. Also this is a very personal topic for me so please avoid being disrespectful if possible, but I am open to questions!

I enjoy reading and looking at romantic stuff online and I’ve wanted one for myself but I’m worried I’ll hurt anyone I’d be in a relationship with because I don’t feel any romantic or sexual attraction. I’ve also felt jealous of friends in relationships because I like how close that connection seems. I’ve tried using the cupioromantic label for myself but it just doesnt feel right to me based on what other people with that label say about their feelings. It’s kind of difficult for me to put into words how exactly I feel but I think this is the most accurate I’ll get. If you want any clarification feel free to ask!

I've been questioning myself a lot. basically, I think I may be aroace because I don't feel sexual attraction. I mean, I do have a libido when I'm alone by myself, if you know what I mean. But I had a partner of two years, almost three years. And he's so handsome, he's gorgeous, but I just didn't feel like having sex. I don't feel the need to participate in sex. Then I do have fantasies, maybe including some people, but I wouldn't initiate intimacy. Because I can fantasize, but I don't think I want to do it with them. I think this is all tied down to, long story short, my first partner, when I was 15, he coerced me into having sex multiple times. And I think that messed up my view on sex, but I've been in therapy for years. I do have PTSD from that relationship because it was toxic in many ways, and maybe that's influencing on how I feel about sex. But still, I think I've pretty much healed. I'm in a better place right now. And I don't think it's strictly tied to my trauma.

And also on the aromantic side, I feel like, idk when I think that I like a guy, it's like, it's very fleeting, really. It's like I like him, and then he does something, and then I stop liking him. But it's something very small, like something that wouldn't be of importance. And after my first relationship, the my partner of those two to three years, well, there were a lot of things that I didn't care about in our relationship. Like from the start, I was never jealous. Like, it's so weird because it's like he could go out with another girl, just the two of them alone, and I wouldn't care. Nothing, not one bit. Also, I wouldn't mind if he was cold to me, if he didn't respond to me in hours. Like, I don't care. And when I talk about it with my friends, they obviously do care about those things in a relationship. I don't. I think maybe, it wasn't genuine love. Maybe I didn't really love him. I'm not sure, could be that. And right now I can find a person attractive, I can say, damn, they're beautiful, but I wouldn't want a romantic relationship with them. Because I think it's too much of a baggage, honestly (MAYBE that's also tied to my trauma). But I also do want like that bond with someone, perhaps a platonic bond. I'm not sure what any of this is called. I feel like everything is a mess right now. What I'm saying right now, it's all mixed up. And I'm looking for some clarity, basically, on some of these topics.

Hello, I’m an asexual gay trans man who is dating my partner who has DID. One of the alters who I’m dating today said they might be aromantic and I’m just wondering is it possible for them to still love me if they are? I want to support them, but I don’t want to feel hurt or be in an unloved relationship. It took me by surprise when they said it because they say “I love you” a lot, but if they don’t love me then it just feels like they’ve been lying to me. I don’t know. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone. I just want to get everyone’s ideas and experiences. Thanks.

Okay, so I've been seeing a psychologist for a while for multiples behaviors problems, but it now came to the inevitable subject about sex/feelings. So I told him I had never felt any romantic or sexual feelings for any genders, and never will, but he's convinced I like boys and insist that I'm just repressing my feelings...

It's now ending up the same everytimes with me telling him I genuily don't have any sexual or roma'tic feeling, and him telling me otherwise.

It's staring to annoy me. Please, If it ever happened to any of you what am I supposed to do to convince him? I can't change psychologists cause the others are all full

I've suspected that I've been aroace for years. I've never had any interest in romantic or sexual relationships. It was my 16th birthday recently, and I told my mum that I was aroace. However, she said that I was too young to know and that I was a late bloomer and it might take a few more years. She was gentle about it and at the time it made sense. However, now I'm uncertain what to think about it. Is 16 too young to know my orientation?

So, recently, I've discovered I was aroace after thinking I was simply apothisexual. I think I may experience alterous attraction-but I honestly can't tell, as I've spent my whole life believing what I felt was romantic. Pet names, flirting, and kissing (on the mouth) have always weirded/grossed me out, but I don't know if that's just due to these things also having sexual undertones and my dislike of these things are due to sex repulsion (even if I'm sure they didn't mean it in a sexual way). I know everyone experiences alterous attraction differently, but since I've started questioning whether or not I was aromantic, I've always just felt that my version of alterous attraction was just repressed romantic feelings, and that I've just been lying to myself this whole time. However, I've never really been able to relate to alloromantic experiences with crushes, and romantic gestures just felt unnecessary, so I'm just unsure if I have a very weird version of romance, or if my brain is just mean to me and this is actually alterous attraction.

I'm (20M) aroace and I find my genital irritating but I dont know if its becouse of my aroaceness or something else (not trans). So I'm wondering how other aroace people feel about their genitals (theirs no need to be specific)

My brain never ceases to question my identity. Despite being sure I’m aroace, I constantly have doubts. What if I’m subconsciously repressing myself? What if I’ve experienced romantic and/or sexual attraction and just don’t know? And etc. On top of that, romance and sex both seem like such abstract concepts that I seriously don’t understand how I feel about being in either situation.

Not knowing is the scary part. It just feels like it’s all built on being oblivious, and, as someone who always wants answers, it makes me very uncomfortable. I know that it’s healthiest to be able to sit down without having everything figured out, especially since I’m only 17, but those moments are when the doubt creeps in. I will acknowledge I’m likely impacted by being raised in religion and how my family thinks it’s so strange that I don’t like anyone like that.

I really believe it’s the best descriptor, considering I’ve never had a crush of any kind, and I don’t look at people and want to kiss or date or have sex with them, and I rarely remember that’s an option that I even have.

But, I don’t know… what if I’m misinterpreting everything?

(Edit: Sorry for initially mislabeling the flair! I’m new here.)

Is it worth coming out as aroace if I can see myself being in a relationship in the future? I'm romance favourable and sex indifferent so I feel like my life isn't really that much different to an allo person's. Also, whilst I know my friends and family would accept me (I actually have a few friends in the lgbtq+ community), I'm not sure they'd really understand and I don't think it would ever be brought up again. Whilst it would be nice to be out, it's quite nerve-racking and I just don't know if it's worth it, has anyone else had a similar experience?

Isn’t there more to write about?? There’s more diversity in book topics, why not songs?

Feel free to share music that’s got different topics :)