u/Daniax_23

For context (i promise i won't go deep into my trauma, ik this group isn't for that), I (19F) have ptsd and nightmares at night, sometimes I hear voices and i can't sleep. To add on that, my trauma involves teachers, and during lectures I have very bad flashbacks and get sleepy too.

Today it was difficult as well, I was falling asleep in class and this girl walks up to me and hands me a candy. I was confused, and she added "don't fall asleep" with a gentle smile.

We never spoke before in class, but she was so thoughtful for a stranger. Lighted up my day definetly and makes me want to do the same for others.

I feel like it genuinely won't get better. Like, why do I have to live with this from now on? I'm still young and want to experience, but I limit myself because of the trauma.

Sometimes I'd like to vent but I already speak too much, i already vent too much because daily i experience these disgusting symptoms and I don't want to be seen as a victim or have people to pity me, but i also long for someone to listen, aside from my therapist. This is so weird.

My trauma is related to my ex, and i see myself in the future like.. having to talk about my ex as for the context of my ptsd with a future partner. No partner wants to talk about an ex, but would i need to explain if i still get flashbacks and nightmares daily? Or is it better to just accept i can't have a relationship again after this trauma?

I've been feeling kinda inadequate because I don't have too much nightmares, but I do have daily flashbacks, i even lose track of time, like disassociating. Is it normal? Are there others out here with symptoms more recurrent than others?