u/StandardFact9722

Hello, I’m an asexual gay trans man who is dating my partner who has DID. One of the alters who I’m dating today said they might be aromantic and I’m just wondering is it possible for them to still love me if they are? I want to support them, but I don’t want to feel hurt or be in an unloved relationship. It took me by surprise when they said it because they say “I love you” a lot, but if they don’t love me then it just feels like they’ve been lying to me. I don’t know. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone. I just want to get everyone’s ideas and experiences. Thanks.

So, I was recently in the hospital for a manic episode and was hospitalized for 5 days. However due to the amount of meds I was on I ended up being extremely sedated and the week-end or possibly ER doctor said it was depression instead despite me actively telling them why I was there and the meds I stopped taking and them not having access to my records from my community mental health center. Anyway, I thought it was over and then my case manager said my speech was a little pressured so I said “oh, must just be some residual symptoms.” Oh I was so wrong.

I ended up inviting a random homeless trans woman with SEVERE borderline personality disorder to come live with me after one day of meeting and her reaching out to me on tinder. Apparently she told me her last roommate with bipolar called the police on her and had her kicked out and I felt bad for her and was concerned for her safety at the homeless shelter as a fellow trans person, anyway. She ends up trying to pressure me for sex, threatening to overdose on my medication after minor disagreements, had severe anger issues and broke her hand punching a fence which triggered my ptsd, had no respect for my apartment which I paid for, and tried policing my cat.

So I kept telling her “maybe we should slow down.” Or “maybe you could find somewhere else to live” and she freaked out every time. Eventually I had to call the police on her and get her trespassed because she was not leaving which I feel terrible about, but it also wasn’t a safe situation for me to be in. She repeatedly spam texted me after this too and used my own diagnosis against me and I found out that basically she has nobody cause she acts like this around everyone. I do genuinely hope she gets help and I don’t hate her and it was truly partially my fault for making such a reckless decision, but my intentions genuinely were good. It’s just that I had to change my locks and now I’m de-stressing and anxious more now than I was before.

Also, this is not me dissing people with bpd. I have several friends with bpd and I have diagnosed traits myself along with unspecified personality disorder. I just don’t think the bpd excuses her actions. I’m willing to post some screenshots too of the messages she sent me if needed.