r/personalitydisorders

I’m at a breaking point.

tl;dr

I’m in marriage counseling with my husband. We we have been together for 3 years. Got married in 2025. 9 months into our marriage
I am noticing a very negative change in his mood personality and mindset.
He is also thinking and finding the negative in what seems like everything.. when I ask him to try to think of positive things to say he responds with “that’s hard” i don’t think like that.

He has a time line in his mind and that’s how things have to be if that’s what was said to him.
There is no wiggle room for change or “ flexibility”
He becomes the biggest jack ass.

I married him knowing he was not a outgoing person. I married him knowing he was more of a home body.
I myself am beginning to be more of a home body. But still enjoy the small moments of family hang outs.

I married him knowing that he was high functioning and that his social cue were non existent.

I married him knowing that I would love him and be the person he needed. Be the person who would open up that small light he had shinning.

But recently.. he has been the last person I want to be around.
I want my husband to be present and silly goofy and kind. Not a man with such negative energy..

I want my husband present, but him being present results in him acting/ behaving like a jerk.
Doesn’t talk to anyone — his excuse they didn’t talk to me. Why do I have to be the person to say hi first..

I feel like I’m either lonely and avoided or my husband is present but makes everything miserable
makes me feel I just need to go home and miss out. Becuase it’s embarrassing to have a husband next to you who thinks and feels like it’s not worth his time

I need advice on what to do.. he refuses to do individual counseling. He refuses to consult a doctors on anxiety meds or ocd therapy he refused to be diagnosed with ASD because of the stigma. And has no desire to change because changing would be losing the parts that’s he likes about him self. The only reason why he is doing marriage therapy is because I am there with him.

Do I give an ultimatium… do I just suck it up because I said for better or for worse do I leave and stay with my mom until he gets his metal health cared for..
his mental heath and illness and very hard to love.
But I chose to love him.. I love him and know he has let this negative mind set take over for far too long

My psychiatrist recently recommended I research bpd and all personality disorders. I fit most of the criteria and its just one more session until I'm professionally diagnosed if I were to guess. Any articles/youtube videos/etc that are trustworthy sources for this? I'd love to learn more.

i suspect i have some traits of conduct disorder, not self diagnosing or anything i just dont really have any other way to describe it. i cant get diagnosed with anything either, but these traits are sort of getting out of hand. when i was younger i used to be able to control it or hide it, but now i genuinely cannot hide most of it and sometimes ill burst out laughing over horrific things. i dont feel guilt about it either, which i never have, but point is its going to be much more difficult to live if these traits keep worsening. like my reputation or how people view me, and also i assume its quite difficult to be around someone like me. of course i am not saying this to be validated over some random diagnosis, but i want to know how to control it or if thats not possible. again, if this is disrespectful in any way to diagnosed people or something please inform me. i will say i am pretty far from being an adult, which is why i didnt say aspd. anyway im not exactly sure if cd fits either so take it all with a grain of salt, because i believe i havent truly done anything physically harmful recently. my childhood was quite rebellious however, and i did use to misbehave and physically injure people (not heavily, and this was during like grade 1.) though my entire life i have always been incredibly misbehaving, but sort of with breaks i guess? or perhaps there were never breaks until now. but my point is more than half of my life was just me being misbehaving, rebellious, or something like that. it wasnt usually physical violence though. i am not saying what i did was right, but i am sharing my experience. though, its quite confusing for me since i used to be incredibly empathetic, perhaps affective empathy, but it has completely downgraded into cognitive empathy. i cant exactly tell if it was a gradual transition, but yea. although i am a difficult person, i find that i also find difficulty in myself. i do not say this out of pride but i really involuntarily despise humanity, and even interacting with them. although i label myself as aplaroace, i am not even sure if that is valid. and i dont really know how i can continue living normally if my entire life is hating everything around me. i find no benefit or feeling from interacting with people, no matter how many people talk about benefits, emotions, or long term stability. this is one thing that has stuck with me since i was born: the aplaroace stuff. if you dont know what aplaroace means its basically lack of platonic, romantic, and sexual feelings towards people. anyway i hear people say this is a normal teenager thing, and that it will all fade away, but even if it will later i still find it a bit of a nuisance to endure this in the present moment. of course i am more of a nuisance to others than myself at times, but i am also unsure of that. a lot of people ik call me incredibly calm, mature, and good at giving empathetic advice. however, internally, i feel none of what they said. i feel as though i have always been displaying someone fake, because everyone describes me much more positively than i honestly believe. i do not exactly wish to be seen as bad or good, however, but it just feels incredibly confusing for me if my views of myself deviate so much from others. also, i am not quite sure if this relates so again take it with a grain of salt, but the more i grow older the more i intellectualize (this does not mean i find myself intelligent, it means like i make everything incredibly complicated and relate it to like idrk how to explain, ig academic? like everything to me is not emotional or simplistic, rather as if everything to me was mathematical, not in numbers, but like problem solving. and this is with literally everything. sometimes i think my brain has no other way of thinking. in fact, this is probably proof of it right now.) also with the breaking rules thing, i guess i do that as well but its much more logical than just impulsivity. like i'll skip pe from a simple thing like a volleyball hitting me and making me bleed while the teacher completely ignores me and tells me to go through with it. or societal expectations, stupid government rules, stuff like that idrk. i also tend to get annoyed at everything and everyone for no reason at all, i have no idea why but i keep hating everything. ill even start internally insulting people who are masters at things i like, for example literature, etc. i also feel that i have this horrible sense of grandiosity, like i keep viewing myself as superior, but i never exactly do anything about it. and no matter how much i convince myself that we are equal or whatever its not exactly a voluntary thing. like i know we are all equal, but i also don't? i am irrational myself, but i hate irrationality in others. its very contradictory. also i find that i have some sort of favoritism in public spaces, like if im the one laughing uncontrollably i never get called out. but once someone next to me does it, they immediately get called out. i really have no understanding of why this happens, and i dont know what people think of me, and i do not say this out of pride. it only makes me assume im making things unfair for others or that ive somehow terrified people enough to ignore me. of course i have impulses that aren't normal, but i do not really remember acting on it. i say remember because i am either unreliable, or i can never differentiate between my intense internal thoughts, and my actual actions. i never know what im actually doing, and even if i did do something bad, ill probably somehow not realize. i'm not sure how to explain it though. i also hate being controlled in any way. if someone tells me to cut my hair, ill never cut my hair again even in the future unless ive fully cut that person out my life and moved on somehow. if someone makes me lose marks for not double spacing and their own reason is something like its hard to read then ill be completely angry at them no matter how well respected the teacher is. since i was a child i always like lied for no reason, or even just about completely mundane, random things. and during my childhood when i did harm others and my parents forced me to make amends for it, i never did and i told them that i apologized and made up for it without guilt. still, i do not feel guilt but i wouldn't exactly do it again either since theres not really a reason to. again, i am not diagnosing myself with anything, and i just want to know what i can do to stop this or atleast make it less difficult to control if thats possible. or perhaps a diagnosis is the only way, but i dont exactly have that privilege either. i dont know what i would be diagnosed for though, so i have no idea how it would benefit me. if anyone could explain to me more about this and about the benefits of diagnoses, i would appreciate it. thank you.

also, I would like to be informed if this was the wrong thread if I should have posted this somewhere else. thank you.

I (38F) started seeing someone (35M) about a month or so ago. We see each other often (at least a few times a week), and he sometimes spends the night. As I’ve gotten to know him, I’m starting to wonder if he is honestly a true psychopath. He makes comments sometimes or will laugh at something that clearly isn’t funny (like something bad happening), or just generally respond to something in such a way where the average person would be like, horrified, and if I ask why he’d think that, he just doesn’t understand why it’s inappropriate. I can’t think of all the examples off the top of my head, but one thing yesterday yesterday is what made me decide to write this post; he told me how earlier in the day he was outside and picking up ants to squish them because he thought it was “fun to watch them be in pain and die.” Yikes. 😳 He’s never made any other outright comments to make me think he abuses or hurts other animals. But I know he’s not a huge animal person, and his comment last night makes me wonder if he’s capable of it.

He has other quirks that I just can’t put my finger on, but according to my true crime podcasts, he sounds like he could potentially be a psychopath. For example, he doesn’t really have close friends and says he never has. It’s just casual buddies he met at a bar or something like that. When I asked why he doesn’t have any, he said that he just has a hard time making friends because he has a hard time with understanding social interactions and knowing what is appropriate to say, and people don’t always “get” his humor.

Also there’s the bedroom stuff. I asked him once what he was into, and his response was “If I had my way, you’d be tied up with rope and duct tape.” So, yeah. I do want to stress though he’s never ever been anything close to rough with me, or trying to do or pressure me into something that I’m not into as well. He’s never made me feel unsafe around him or anything either. But his behavior just makes me wonder if he’s just quirky (he’s very OCD and has anxiety also) and in need of therapy and possibly medication, versus a much bigger problem (like psychopathy) that is just who he is.

So, Reddit… have you ever dated anyone like this or met a true and genuine psychopath in the wild? Is it consistent with what I’m describing, or is my imagination getting carried away?

TL;DR: new guy I’m seeing says/does things that make me think he’s a psychopath. Am I reading too much into this?

I've been seeing a psychiatrist and therapist for a while to treat depression and social anxiety. They both seem to be of the opinion I have ASPD, but I'm not too sure.

During my first few visits, I mentioned that my last therapist noticed some narcissistic traits. I was told prolonged depression can cause difficulties with empathy, getting along with others, etc. And that my SSRI's could help. However, they didn't, and in some ways the narcissistic traits got worse.

Because of this, they briefly considered NPD, but ruled it out because a person with NPD doesn't see their symptoms as a problem and wouldn't seek help. Then they thought it could be BPD or a form of Bipolar. After ruling those out and doing the PID assignment, they seem to think ASPD is most likely.

I agree that I have some antisocial traits, but after reviewing the diagnosis criteria, I just barely fit the minimum symptoms needed to get diagnosed and I don't really relate to most pwASPD's experiences. I think NPD is probably more likely as I have way more NPD symptoms and am usually motivated by ego and maintaining a self image as opposed to resistance to authority and being controlled. I asked about getting a more thorough evaluation, and they said it's not necessary if I don't have a problem with the way I am.

My depression and social anxiety are almost non-existent now, and my therapist has noted a lack of wanting to really change my behaviors, so she wonders what I'm getting out of therapy at this point. I asked her how treatment for ASPD usually goes, but she doesn't really have experience with the disorder so she doesn't know. And honestly, it feels like they aren't very knowledgeable about personality disorders to begin with so I don't think I trust their judgment. I have been considering quitting therapy but I wanted to review my options and get input.

Should I seek a second opinion? Would a psychological evaluation be worth my time and money? Have any of you seen any benefits from therapy? Would getting an official diagnosis put in my medical records be helpful?

Edit: Thank you for the replies!! I appreciate all the advice a lot.

I got officially diagnosed with unspecified personality disorder the other day (following the diagnostic criteria in ICD-11). I feel quite lost around what to do about my diagnosis, and since it’s so general I don’t know who to relate to.

I got diagnosed with a general/unspecified PD because my traits don’t fit a specific label. I thought I “just” had depression, anxiety and severe trauma, and therefore I just don’t know how to handle the fact that it turned out to be a PD. I don’t recognise myself in many stereotypical personality disorder traits (but I don’t think my diagnosis is wrong, however).

Does anyone else here have the type of PD where you feel intense emotions inside but don’t show it at all, have low mood and anxiety, withdraws and dissociates all the time and has trouble making friends? I am destructive but not impulsive and I have a stable sense of identity. I feel alone in my diagnosis.

Any advice on what I should research more? On how to accept the diagnosis? How to get better?

Hello guys, I hope it's okay to post this here. I'm a 23-year old female who studies Psychology and one of my greatest interests is ASPD. I don't have it myself, however, I am also a cluster B (diagnosed with BPD, as well as autism and bipolar) and I just would really like to get to talk to more people with ASPD in order to get to know them better, de-stigmatize it, and understand how this disorder affects one's life. I plan to someday in the future work in environments with a high density of people with ASPD or ASPD traits. Therefore, if anyone who has ASPD is open to talk, I'd really love it! Thanks for the attention.

dude if you really wanted to advocate for us, you wouldn’t judge us for unmasking

Throughout my life I have deleted my Facebook account more than 15 times, changed my phone number, went distant, discontinued communication, pushed people away, judged people or got paranoid and quit volunteering positions, jobs and so on.

I have been on medications for the last 3 years and I feel better and have less delusions, but I still struggle in dealing with people or trying to make friendships that last.

I always find something wrong about somebody and then deduce that this person is bad and that I must block or cut them off completely.

I am starting to have thoughts that tell me that I will never make friends or even understand what a friend even means.

I am totally isolated and spend months and months alone without communicating.

What should I know or do? The psychiatrist is considering adding one more medication to make me social and develop connections.

I can't live like this, man! I have been isolated for years now and my mind is starting to get deteriorated and lose cognition abilities.

HELP

Thanks

Does anyone ever feel like it’s too late in life to get help for something?

He has always been obsessed with owning a small business. In itself, that's not unusual, but the way he goes about it seems irrational.

In the early 2000s, he started a beekeeping business. It was still in its early stages but growing steadily. Instead of focusing on developing it further, he became fixated on building a small restaurant on our land next to the main road.

He took out a bank loan to build it, even though the honey business wasn't generating enough income and we couldn't really afford the debt. He was completely convinced the restaurant would quickly succeed and cover the loan.

It didn't. The restaurant struggled from the start, and trying to manage both businesses put a huge strain on our family.

What frustrates me is that this pattern has repeated itself. He has taken out more loans, always convinced that this time the restaurant will succeed and solve everything.

Everyone else in the family can see the problem, but he can't. In his mind, the restaurant isn't the issue. He believes the financial problems come from us not being dedicated enough to his idea.

Whenever we try to reason with him, he always has an explanation for why the plan will work this time.

Living with this has caused years of stress and financial hardship for our family. It feels similar to gambling chasing losses while believing one big win will fix everything.

I'm wondering if this sounds like a particular mental health or personality pattern, or if it could simply be extreme stubbornness or optimism.

My sibling has OCPD for sure, she is even officially diagnosed. However, she displays all listed symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder as well. The result is a very toxic mix of seemingly incompatible toxic (and somewhat abusive) traits that can provoke cognitive dissonance in the people close to her. Is there any real medication and fixing of all this or I must cut her off once and for all?

This persons chat tells them to calm down and go offline but they don’t listen to anyone and think they know best, only to later complain about their so-called “mental health” while still being on TikTok. They act childlike when it comes to their own actions. If they’ve done something wrong, they say, “I got a mind of a child” or “I didn’t know.” They think it’s cute, but it can only go so far. Now, they want to be heard and talked to as an adult, but when people do talk to them as an adult, they shout at everyone that people are “pressurising” them or “overstimulating” them. No, they’re just lazy and want everything done for them. It doesn’t work like that. Even some wealthy people have people to do things for them, but when they become fully fledge grown adults, their mindset changes and they want to put their own stamp on their own life. They did the whole spiel about wanting people to speak to them as an adult and not being talked to as a child, but they don’t listen, don’t want to do anything for themselves, and want everything for free and done for them. No one is going to do that anymore. You received £350k or so for a non-existent transition, yet you claim to be undergoing a “social transition”. Fine, but now “stop begging” for money on social media then. No one will be giving you another £350k or so, so you can feel important and feed into your delusion of this false projection of yourself if you want money go work & go back to college, get offline, and get your head sorted with “mental health treatment” for your pathological lying, etc. That’s why no one wants to listen or believe you in anything. Everyone knows you’re incapable of telling the truth; it’s always going to be lies. If you want to be treated like a child, they will. If you don’t, then you need to listen and take it on board that these people who have done you an Olive Branch shouldn’t be taken advantage of, but your narcissism won’t allow it. You need to come clean about all your lies. You can’t keep blaming people or your mum for everything that’s gone wrong in your life. You have to bear the brunt of it and take responsibility for your actions. That’s the only way forward for you. A charity or a council won’t give you a flat or a house in London because you don’t qualify, and having or saying you have ALL these conditions won’t put you on top of the Housing List for a place. There are families who have been waiting for a property for years and are in temporary accommodation for years, still not got a forever home. The only place you’re going is either on the streets, prison, or a high-security mental health hospital or a box. You’re pushing some people to do something in the law or some other way, and you won’t like it when that happens, you won’t have anyone on your side because once they see your name, they’ll look your name up on the internet and your digital footprint is so bad that you’re known as a Liar, a Lolcow and drop you hard because they know being associated with you is a career ender and their reputation as well. P.S. It’s wild that you’re talking about taking people to court simply because they’ve been called you out on your nonsense. You really don’t have a leg to stand on because everything you said has come from your own mouth. No one has done AI on it; it’s all from you. People have saved all your lies you’ve said online and will pull up everything and the uploaded fraudulent documents as well from across all social media platforms you uploaded. They’ll also request your medical, school and police records and i actually believe you do have a police record even though you say you don’t but i believe you do and you don’t want yourself being exposed as a pathological liar and a fantasist. Truly you don’t want that can of worms to be opened either.

And I loved her anyway. I already began operating as if she had it because sometimes that was the only thing that made sense. I can’t even tell you how many times she stared at me blankly while I cried and when I asked for comfort she said “no thank you.” I will share more specifics later, if this post is even allowed, but I just want to put this out there while I’m thinking about it.

*Not looking for an official internet stranger diagnosis but want psychiatrist didn’t have much to say** At this point, it’s just out of curiosity but I do have my son medicated for adhd and anger problems so getting a maybe more accurate diagnosis for him would be helpful for the psychiatrist to go off.

My son, 6.5 since as early as I can remember would develop attachments to his toys. As any kid does, I’m sure. For example, big Cars fan. Had to have his lightning McQueen when he went to bed. But to avoid middle of the night panic attacks, I kept backups. Except he figured out there was x number of back ups. So he’d have to have all 5 or so. Then all the other Cars characters. It was, obsessive. But what’s more interesting is the way he would move them into different portable containers. It started with a small plastic snap container that fit 3-4 cars. Then it was a small basket. Then a bigger basket. Until his crib barely had room to move. This never ended.

Fast forward to today, he had a bin full of golf balls. Then it was a laundry basket. Then he laid them all out on a wire rack. Then the bucket again. Now it’s in a bag. He also has. To. Have. More. We have a family own country club. So he gets dad to take him so he can search the woods for more golf balls.

Right now I’m looking at a gift bag full of his cars. They were in the empty basket next to them but he moved them. As he does on repeat. Forever.

There’s an obsession with consuming things. Having more. Having them all.

Got into signed memorabilia thanks to my neighbor who worked for an NFL team. Now all he wanted was more signed stuff. I put shelves in his room. Need more stuff for his shelves. Need more shelves for his stuff.

I organize his room. He dumps everything out and puts things in random places that make sense to *him*

He never, and I mean never, sits still. He’s out in the woods behind our house. Finding old stuff. On old BB gun, a tonka trunk from the 60s. Now we go places and I have to tell him don’t even think about going in the woods to treasure hunt.

He socializes normal with friends. Very popular. Crushes on all the girls. He plays sports, excels at all of them.

He had horrible eczema, didn’t sleep through the night for 5 straight years. It finally cleared and because of improved sleep he has been better. But he has anger problems, from maybe 2 years old on he would hurt himself. Bash his head on the floor. Face covered in bruises, split lips and glued back together eyelids. Punches himself in the face. Used to pee himself. Blames me. Says I made him do it. We walk on egg shells all day long and have been for 5 long years. Talked about suicide before his 5th birthday. Got a knife from the kitchen on more than one occasion. Said everyone hates him. I’ve told a child psychologist and psychiatrist all of this. Just got a script for adhd and “possible mood disorder” and was sent on my way.

He went on guanfacine and adderall which helped for a time but he’s getting back to being insufferable.

I suspect getting new things, hyper fixating on different interests, it’s all a dopamine hit for him. But the neurotically moving things from box to basket to shelf to box again I can’t put my thumb on.

He also needs some kind of comfort object before school. The meltdowns that ensued because he wanted a specific football 5 minutes before the bus was coming. Or a stuffy, no one could find. Goes to school everyday with an object which I know won’t be tolerated much longer as he goes into higher grades.

My MIL says it’s OCD. I told her that’s not the OCD I’ve understood or at least not how it’s portrayed in movies.

He behaves at school. Listens. Gets praised. Comes home and is a monster. Antagonistic to siblings. Push one to the ground and smirk when they cry. Then a switch flips and he’s the sweetest boy. But most of the time, the opposite at home.

If this sounds like anything anyone has experienced with their child, any tips, directs or advice is welcome. My other kids would appreciate having some of my attention back on them.

Hi, this is my first ever Reddit post so I’m sorry if I’m doing things wrong. I’ve come here because I think I maybe dealing with BPD (borderline personality disorder). I (19 F) had a very interesting upbringing, to make it short my parents had me at 19 & 21. My dad was military and was deployed most my childhood until he was medically retired when I was around 8/9 yrs old. My biological mom (Alyssa, not real name) never paid attention to me growing up unless it was infront of my father. I also moved around a lot (I was also homeless for a bit before my brother was born) and never made an connections growing up due to being a military child and the fact my mom rarely got up to make me go to school. my aunt (dads side) lived with us shortly when I was 1/2 yrs old and told me stories of her coming home to me getting into chemicals and basically being home alone because Alyssa locked herself in her bedroom to sleep. Once my brother was born when I was 5 she paid less attention to me and only cared for him, I say cared loosely because at 5 years old I was watching, feeding and changing his diaper while she again locked herself away. Once my dad was retired we moved back to America by family. Only about a year after being here Alyssa had another affair and my dad was fed up with it and they divorced. Alyssa than manipulated me into making her my savior while she continued to neglect me for the majority unless it was for her gain, yet kept me close enough by buying my love back for me to not notice anything until around 5th/6th grade. She made me believe my dad hated us and I chose to live with her. When she finally got her own place without roommates that’s when most stuff went down. I started having more frequent panic attacks which led to a traumatic event that I won’t disclose other than she locked me in a small area while I was freaking out and told me she never wanted me, she wanted to get an abortion, she should’ve never taught for custody of me and other nasty things a 12 yr old should not be hearing from their biological mother. After that we would often argue turning into her only feeding my brother dinner, kicking me out then saying I’m terrible for not loving her and she than stole $6k from my collage fund (which was ALLL of it) to buy her townhouse claiming she didn’t want us to be homeless just to kick me out again after. Theres a lot more to this story but Alyssa always had a way of sucking me in just to hurt me and it worked every time. There’s reason I put this here is to put preference on to why I think my disorder may be stemming from my childhood trauma. Fast forward I’ve been in and out of therapy since 6th grade because my dad (who I love btw and I still currently live with, he’s my #1) and my last therapist I had in HS also thought I may have a personality disorder but didn’t put anything down since I was a minor and she didn’t want to potentially hurting my future with it being on record. Anyways I couldn’t afford her anymore and have been out for a little over a year.

Now to the symptoms; I often think I experience “splitting”, when in a high emotional state I often lack impulse control. TW: mentions of unintentional SH! I’ll often pull out my hair, punch my legs, bang my head, and scratch myself til it’s raw/bleeding and all of it is involuntary. I’ll scream and yell at the top of my lungs. I say very hurtful things or even try to push away/leave those I love the most. I never remember what happens during these “freak outs” it’s all very vague and blurry anytime I try to remember and I can never recall anything I say so I’m sorry I can’t further describe it, most of what I know is from others explaining what happens. After I freakout I always feel this deep almost dred like emotion in the pit of my chest, and everything else feels numb. I then disassociate for anywhere between 20 mins to a day. I also am terrified of being forgotten and left to the point I’ll do it to the person I fear it from the most to keep myself from being hurt by them leaving first. I terrified of disappointing those I love, to me it’s another thing on their list of why they shouldn’t care for me. Because of this constant cycle I often get confused on what emotions are real and what are things that “evil” part of me is trying to make me believe. (Also sorry my wording is terrible, it’s very difficult to describe and explain so I’m trying to put it in the simplest terms) with that being said I also get confused on who I really am, my mood fluctuates so often and my emotions are so strong weather it’s good or bad and when I’m not in a state of high emotion I almost feel like a shell of a person. This has affected past romantic relationships but the difference now is that I’m with someone who understands I don’t process things in a standard way and he tries to work with me instead of against me unlike the past partners. (Who I don’t blame btw bc i understand being with someone as unstable as me is draining) and I fear I am draining my now partner, we’ve talked about it and he doesn’t blame me but he doesn’t want to see me struggle like this forever nor is it fair to him to put up with how I can be when I am “splitting”. I get so embarrassed thinking about this, I sometimes just feel like I’m a 2 yr old throwing a temper tantrum. I understand a lot of what I said isn’t a healthy mindset and I’m not like that all the time, most the time I’m a pretty positive and calm person but when I feel things unfortunately I feel like that person disappears and I can’t help but to go back into that mindset, which further confuses my self identity. I’m going to see a psychiatrist soon to hopefully try mood stabilizers which my last therapist recommended, I’m not against meds but if I could work things out without them I’d rather do that. Sadly for me I think this cycle has been going on for too long and no matter what progress I get it resets, and at some point that has to end and the last option I really have right now is to at least try them.

Can anyone with a personality disorder or who’s dealt with similar give me some insite? Maybe some coping on how to calm down or pint point when I’m about to freak out? Or even if what I’m dealing with sounds like it could be something else or just poor character development? The only other mental issues I had where depression (which I don’t think I have anymore, I was diagnosed after my parents divorce), anxiety (which went away after I TW: OD’ed in HS) and suspected ADD/ADHD (only suspected because in my state if your a minor a teacher has to fill out the form which none of them ever got back to me with and I never got retested as an adult) and I’ve never taken any meds before for mental health. Edit: I forgot to mention but I do also deal with major hormonal imbalances from having endometriosis.

hi! my name is roxanne, and I think I might have aspd. and no, I'm not larping or trying to get attention. I'm being genuine, so please don't get me a hard time lol. anyways, the reason why I think I might be a sociopath is because of my lack of empathy and remorse. I don't feel bad for most of the things I do, I can feel guilty sometimes - but it's not common for me to feel that emotion. I can do really fucked up things to people, and feel no regret whatsoever. let me give you guys an example - I'm a tumblr blogger, and I've been having a crush on one of my mutuals named mia, for multiple months now. we're quite close, and we talk a lot. but she started to catch feelings for an anon of hers, and it pissed me off a LOT. obviously I didn't't show it, but it secretly got under my skin. and to make things worse, the anon was showing very clear signs of liking mia back. and I knew that there was only but so long until they started dating. so I decided to do something about it. I went onto her blog, and pretended to be the anon. I said a bunch of stuff about how they were actually in a relationship the entire time they were flirting with mia, and they couldn't continue talking to mia anymore because it was morally wrong, and unfair to their partner. mia was disgusted by the anon, and blocked them. she immediately started venting to me about the situation, and I felt SOOOOO satisfied!! like I couldn't stop grinning the entire time I was texting her LOL. I'm aware that what I did was horrible, selfish, and cruel. but I literally just can't bring myself to care. like I don't feel bad at all for what I did. I deadass laugh whenever I think about the situation lol, I seriously don't feel an ounce of guilt about it. plus mia belongs to me anyway, she just doesn't realize it yet. and I plan on sabotaging her relationships over and over until she falls in love with me heh! :3 anywayss, I'm rambling a lot, so I'll shut up now lolll. but what do u guys think? do I have aspd? or some other disorder? lmk!! (I'm NOT trying to self disonage btw!! I just want to hear what you guys think!)

Anyone here with mixed personality disorder? Idk what to think about this, they have said that I have narcissistic tendencies and immature personality, but I never thought of myself that way. 😭