u/ValuableMelodic5090

my whole life, i have noticed that girls around me never cared about their looks as much as i did. they would come to school or hangouts just dressed normally (or basic if that makes sense) meanwhile i was always the one who was "standing out" because i dressed way more fashionably, and i had to plan hangouts around a date where i had enough time to shave around my body, pick a dress, make it look good, etc.

but, my friends or peers never ever put that much effort into their looks. it made me feel like i was looking for attention or a pick me and i would be scared that's how everyone saw me. even to this day, it's like this.

i don't know why i do this. i've tried copying them before but i GENUINELY get so uncomfortable going out if im not looking beautiful or pretty. it's so bad that i will cancel a hangout if i don't look pretty enough. it's so exhausting and draining and i don't want to be this way anymore. i wanna be chill and carefree like everyone else around me.

at some points in life, i've wondered if i had this other personality disorder called histrionic personality. and that maybe my BPD is misdiagnosed. or maybe we can have both? i genuinely don't know. but i wouldn't be surprised if i had both because most people in my family have some kind of undiagnosed personality disorder (and i say undiagnosed because it is SO obvious yet they won't get help because they don't believe in mental illness). please someone tell me if im tripping, genuinely a pick me, if its something with my bpd, or if it could actually be histrionic personality.

hi guys. so i come from a strict religious household where showing even some skin or wearing "improper" clothes (according them, improper includes shorts and whatnot) is a big deal and a big no.

but i love gyaru fashion so much. i did it once in my room and i fell in love. i wanted to go out like that too but im aware i cant due to my parents religious limitations. is it possible to be gyaru but still wear something modest? what are some examples if so? and where can i find modest gyaru clothing? thank you!

i (20F) absolutely hate my (12F) sister with autism. it's a problem because she feels it and sometimes cries because i and her siblings are unfair and mean to her. it breaks my heart sometimes, but i can't stop. everything about her makes me angry. i know it might just be her autism, but she has a habit of purposely making big deals out of everything. for example, we'll get a weather warning and she'll immediately start saying "mom i can see a tornado look." no you don't. there is none. and she sounds so excited about every bad thing and then likes to act like she's not.

when she talks, nothing ever makes sense. she cuts people off. and when she talks to others in public i get second hand embarrassment to the point i try to distance myself so nobody can tell she's my sister. i understand she has autism, but it gets to a point. i think for me it's especially worse because i already deal with debilitating anxiety and borderline that has been resistant to treatment. i also have sensory issues and when she coughs she does it in such an annoying way it makes me wanna bang my head on a wall. my parents yell at me and our other siblings for it which is fair.

living with her feels so debilitating. i wish i could move out but in this economy it's impossible unless i wanna be homeless. and my parents threaten to disown me if i try to move out. everything about her annoys me and it's getting so bad to the point i can't even pretend to talk nicely to her anymore. if there's any family drama going on, she'll purposely come in to listen out of enjoyment (yes she's even admitted to it). surely this isn't just autism but also her just naturally being annoying and icky.

It's been so bad to the point i've tried to do something bad to myself because i was sick and tired of having to live with her on top of my own issues. my BPD and 2 anxiety disorders already make my life a living hell, and then she came along and i guess that was my last straw. i feel like a terrible sister, i really do. but i just want peace. i never experienced peace a day in my life.

i don't know. if you guys wanna cuss me out and go off in the comments, go ahead. i just had to let this out somewhere and see if anyone has any advice at all.

hi all. just wondering, is your program coordinator the only person who can make changes to your schedule? is there anyone else at all that could also do it if your coordinator is on vacation? thank you

i'm freaking out. i had an extremely bad panic attack about 5ish minutes ago. i wasn't thinking. i usually take 1mg of xanax and that's enough to get me relaxed. but this time, i don't know what happened. i couldn't think, my vision blurred because of the tears, and all i wanted was immediate relief or i genuinely felt like i would die. i accidentally took 3mg. i'm feeling out so bad. why can't anything ever go right for me? am i gonna die?

when someone has BPD and they're occasionally having depressive episodes that are traumatizing and extremely distressing, but those only last for a few days up to a week, but the rest of their life is usually pretty good, shouldn't it be understandable that those few days of a depressive episode overpower the good days? then why do people make me feel guilty when i try to end it when im in a depressive episode. maybe i don't want to live in constant fear of my next depressive episode and whether that one will kill me? maybe i don't want to play russian roulette with my life you know?

this summer, around may-june i had went into a severe depressive episode. it was one that caused me completely lose my mind, as in i was not thinking straight, and you could just instantly tell from my eyes that something was wrong (even my 6 year old sister had pointed it out alongside many other people). after that episode, i had gotten diagnosed with BPD.

i thought now that im on meds, everything would be okay. i wouldn't go back into that hell hole. it was VERY scary and traumatizing for me. i nearly took my life. now, i feel it coming back on. i'm so scared. i need help and i have nobody to ask for it. my parents aren't an option because although they claim they'll be there for me, they never are.

i don't want to go back into that episode. please please if someone has any tips on how i can stop it before it blows up, please tell me. i will do anything i dont want to experience that nightmare again. i dont want to end it all im so scared but i cant think straight when im in a depressive episode. thank you.

so i have 5 days before my date. i haven't been getting good sleep. and because of that, my under eyes look darker than they usually are. i understand 5 days isn't a lot but im willing to use any advice anyone has to reduce the look even a little? (besides concealer. im putting that on anyways) thank you!

i don't know where to even begin. he gets mad at everything. i tested his water and everything is fine. the water current isn't a problem to him either. he's aggressive about everything and has been since i first got him. he's eating well and everything too and even has toys and plants. i get a little close to his tank to feed him and he will unleash hell. he's so small but he acts like he'd eat u whole.

i don't want to give him away. i love him despite the fact he's a satan spawn. but he genuinely hates everyone and everything. this one i put a ping pong ball in his tank and he started fighting it. it's just a ball. it's not going to steal your food. it's been over a week since i've had him. got professional opinion and they said it's a personality issue. he's the fish personification of anger issues. is anyone else's fish like this? i can't even get near his tank without him trying to fight me through his tank. how do people abuse their fishes? because i feel like im the one getting abused by him right now

❗️EDIT: i think i may have worded my post wrong and am causing misunderstandings in my comments. i am not actually tired of my fish. it was more of a humorous comment. i love my boy so much and take very good care of him

so i recently got a betta. next week ill be doing its water change (first time btw).

is it ok if i took my betta out first before doing the water change? he'll obviously be in water. i'll just grab a cup and scoop him up in it with his tank water. is that alright? thank you for any and all suggestions!

so i recently got a betta. next week ill be doing its water change (first time btw).

is it ok if i took my betta out first before doing the water change? he'll obviously be in water. i'll just grab a cup and scoop him up in it with his tank water. is that alright? thank you for any and all suggestions!

i tried ending it all and now they're driving me to the ER and i want to cry. they want to ruin my life even more. they want to see me in the psych ward with the rest of the crazies. i don't want to live like this. i refuse to go in there. they want to ruin my life what the hell

i got diagnosed with BPD yesterday. i'd been showing signs as a young girl but it wasn't until i turned 18 that i got diagnosed with 2 anxiety disorders, and at 19 i was diagnosed with depression. now im 20, and i found out i actually have BPD and the anxiety and depression is a result of that. but i don't know anything about BPD. i know it's a pretty serious disorder, but im not sure how to deal with it or what to do, etc.

i feel hopeless and terrible, yet relieved at the same time. i finally have an answer to my problems, but it was the worst answer i could get. this whole time, i was on antidepressants to deal with my anxiety and depression, and it wasn't until 4 hours ago i got diagnosed with BPD and realized that my depression and anxiety was being caused by that. i feel hopeless.

i feel hopeless and terrible, yet relieved at the same time. i finally have an answer to my problems, but it was the worst answer i could get. this whole time, i was on antidepressants to deal with my anxiety and depression, and it wasn't until 4 hours ago i got diagnosed with BPD and realized that my depression and anxiety was being caused by that. i feel hopeless.

everyone says "if you commit suicide, god sends you to hell." no. that's not god. that's not what god is meant to be or represent. that's demonic. that belief is so harmful and so demonic. why? why place that kind of attribute on god? isn't god meant to be "most merciful" and "most kind." then why? both things contradict themselves. why do these abrahamic religious people think this way? how do they not see how evil and terrible this is?

i'm gonna try to keep this short as i acknowledge not everyone likes or has time to read big paragraphs. i'm 20F. about two years ago, i developed depression and anxiety which made me spiral. i began using substances and doing other self-destructive things that clearly impacted my parents a lot.

my dad, 50 years old, was neglected by his mother as a child. because of that, he never felt comfortable showing love and affection. but we always knew he loved and cared for us simply through his actions. his way of saying he loves us wasn't verbal. it was shown in the way he treated us. this year, i gave him his first father's day gift from me.

he sent me a text, saying thanks kiddo with a red heart emoji. however, i was high. extremely high and i missed his reaction to the gift. the only way i know how he reacted (and barely in any detail) is because of my mom. she told me he was very excited and happy. but i still feel ashamed.

i feel like a terrible daughter. i try my best to make my parents proud of me. my grades are good and im overall doing okay-ish in life. but still, depression and anxiety, and now addiction ruined my life. i can't stop thinking that he probably hates me now or doesn't feel appreciated enough because i didn't want to go downstairs with bloodshot eyes, slurring my words, and barely being able to walk or think.

i didn't go because i didn't want to ruin things for him. i thought, well, maybe if he does get excited by the gift, i should let him have that moment. i didn't want to ruin it by showing up in a state that would only leave him feeling defeated and disappointed.

can any dads on here please give me some reassurance? i swear i try so hard. i'm a 20 year old grown woman, yet i still can't get my life together.

wow. i'm in heaven, really. my head is buzzing so much. i never would've imagined i'd get addicted or hooked. but alas, here i am

red candle
jar
lavender incense
rose oil
rose petals
honey
cinnamon
sugar
alsike clover
birdsfoot trefoil
oxeye daisy
mine and his picture

cleanse jar with lavender incense
rose oil for attraction
rose petals for romantic love
honey for sweetening
cinnamon for success and love
sugar for love
alsike clover for love and luck
birdsfoot trefoil to deepen connection
oxeye daisy for love and fidelity
draw love rune on both pictures and fold them towards yourself, then add in jar
seal with red candle