r/Fatherhood

My son is 3 months old and I love him more than I can put into words. But I have a real, physical sensitivity to strong smells — always have — and diaper changes and using the nasal aspirator genuinely make me nauseous to the point where I feel like I'm going to be sick. It's not that I don't want to do it. I desperately want to be present for everything. My body just reacts before my mind can catch up.

I do everything else I can — feeding, burping, putting him to sleep, being present — but my wife is frustrated that I'm not doing the "disgusting" tasks, and honestly I don't blame her for being frustrated. That's what hurts the most.

Here's the added layer: I work remotely, 12+ hour days, and I'm the sole provider for our family. Because I'm physically home, I think she sees me as more available than I actually am. By the time I close the laptop I'm completely drained, and I still try to show up. But the expectation is that I should be doing more of the caregiving too, including the things that make me genuinely ill.

I'm not here to throw my wife under the bus — she's an incredible mother and this is hard for both of us as first time parents. I just feel like I'm being judged for something that isn't a choice.

Has anyone dealt with smell hypersensitivity as a parent? How did you work through it with your partner? And how do you navigate the "you're home so you're available" dynamic when remote work is still real work?

Have you ever heard of a family where the father is wealthy, but his son is poor?

The father makes $300,000 plus per year and the son is working a job making $15,000 per year.

The father lives a lavish lifestyle and the son lives poorly.

Is this an uncommon occurrence or does it happen on occasion that there is such a large gap financially between a father and his son?

I am having a hard time connecting with my teenage daughter. I was not really present in her life early on, but now I have full custody of her and I am trying to build a relationship. The problem is, I do not really know how to connect with her, and I feel lost about what to do next. I care about her deeply and want to be there for her, but it has been difficult finding common ground and rebuilding that bond.

ok i am expecting a son in late july with my cousins BFF she is 25F and im 20 but made her pregnant 19 and thats all fine, the thing is she told me she was sleeping with other guys and told me the baby is mine but idk, i dont have the feeling in my gut that its mine and here is the kicker the girl has bipolar with skidso also. SO the question is if the baby is mine do i take the baby away from her for its protection and if it's not mine what then ?

What advice would you give your teenagers about alcohol? Up to now we’ve had a strict ‘no alcohol’ approach in our house, but I’m honestly unsure whether that should continue until he moves out or becomes more independent.

I read about a parent who let their kid try vodka at home so they could experience how unpleasant and impairing it can be. At the same time, I know alcohol affects different people differently, and my dad used to say addictive tendencies can be partly genetic. Never read into it.

So far, my kids hasn’t shown addictive behaviors toward anything, but I know that doesn’t guarantee anything long term. I also understand that ultimately each person owns their own decisions and choices. Still, as fathers, what do you think our role should be here? How would you approach it — strict boundaries, gradual exposure, open conversations, leading by example, something else?

I know there probably isn’t one perfect answer, but I’d genuinely value hearing how other dads think through the balance between protection, trust, responsibility, and preparing teens for the real world.”

Good day everyone!

Boy is this a wild ride but I see other fathers helping here so I wanted to post because this has been… hard

Speed run of me, I have had extreme anxiety for a long time (or so I’m told) I don’t take medication for it I work in a high stress job I deal with it, problem is I’ve ALWAYS dealt with it a specific way…

Hard day come home drink, play video games, I was essentially a functional alcoholic no bad behaviors no drinking and driving…

My wife finds out she is pregnant and says she would appreciate if I didn’t drink anymore during the 9 months, I agreed and drank extremely minimally I mean maybe once every 6 weeks if that

I panicked I wouldn’t have emotion for the baby because pregnancy I was just terrified about getting our house ready and making sure everything was okay

Baby comes on the 16th… and when I saw that little girl something inside me snapped hard… I mean hard… she came at 35 weeks ran a 9.9 on her abcar, and when we saw the pediatrician they said she seems super healthy, good weight gain coming out of hospital no bad

But when I say snap I mean I broke down I balled I have never felt like this for anything in my life, I wonder why I wasted time playing games, drinking, anything… everything pails in comparison to my emotion for that baby

The problem is I panic at everything my anxiety is on overdrive I am afraid when she moves, when she doesn’t move, I’m afraid when her eating habits get weird when she is asleep too long everything

I am so terrified something will happen to her because I can’t live without her I now know… funny having anxiety about me not having emotion then a flood of it where I cry multiple times a day sometimes happy sometimes worry

I just stare at her endlessly because I’m afraid when I’m not something will happen, more over and I’m sure this is a good thing I don’t want to drink or do ANYTHING that would inebriate me in ANYway and so there is no end to it it’s just constant

I have a wonderful wife, loving beautiful and she is also having some complications that are just adding.. I have no issue being there for her when she is worried, but I cannot stop my endless stomach pit I want to just be happy and not waste this time

Anybody else have this crippling fear? How did you deal with it? Does it go away? I mean ever now she is laying on my wife’s chest (who is wide awake and sitting at an incline) but because she has a shirt on I wonder if she can breathe okay, my poor wife says she’s fine I promise and tries to comfort me but I just… well this is already long… love everyone here, I don’t know how yinz did it and kept sanity but I have never loved anything more then that baby

UPDATE: I finally started to calm down thanks to everyone here and we had a great morning me and my girl she had a decent awake time where I told her stories and sang songs, she ate well… I was finally feeling the pit go and then the pediatrician called and

told us to go to the children’s hospital to get another billirubin (we did this yesterday) and a thyroid check… and I broke down again after my wife left the car to take her in and I parked I balled and balled I walked in and am now in the waiting room while they do the heel prick because I was causing more stress…

The nurses don’t seem worried my wife says she’s fine I am crippled I mean crippled… I just have thoughts of not having that morning cuddle or seeing her beautiful face grow and I don’t know… are these tests scary anyone have this no one seems worried but me but I can’t calm down

Wife is four months postpartum. Zero depression, she might be the happiest she's ever been. She loves being a mom. So much so that she has completely forgotten the fact that I exist. I'm literally invisible. If she doesn't need help with something, she doesn't say a single word to me. Just stares at her phone until baby needs something, then she gets up and leaves.

It's not like I don't help her. I am in law school and have a full time job (I had paternity leave but still had to do some work to get a promotion). I help run errands, change diapers, empty the trash, get the mail, mow the lawn, etc. She acts like it's preposterous to say thank you for shit husbands should be expected to do. Never validates my effort at all. I got her flowers on mother's day and before I could even put them in a vase she said they "weren't cute." This was the day after I took her out to dinner and she bitched at me the whole time because I couldn't make the baby smile for a picture.

I feel like such a piece of shit thinking about divorcing her when my son isn't even half a year old yet. But I am literally dying emotionally. I'm not an attentive husband and it's because I resent her for treating me like a tool to make her life easier and nothing else. I had an exercise injury six months ago and actively try to hide when I'm in pain because she gets super annoyed with me acting debilitated. She just doesn't care about me as a human being anymore and it sucks because I still love her. But I need to know this is going to change because I can't be in a relationship with no sex, no connection, no affection, no romance, and no appreciation.

My 24 month old son is severely delayed in both receptive and expressive speech. He doesn’t seem to show any form of association between nonverbal or verbal communication and objects or desires. No words (e.g., mamma, dadda, etc.) no pointing, no clapping, just hand-leading me to what he wants.

At his 18m eval the pediatrician recommended early intervention and my wife gave her contact information. Here there is a bit of delay but I noticed months passed without anyone reaching out, until a letter came in the mail notifying me that they’d stop trying.

She had ignored all their phone calls/emails.

I reached out myself and called for a new referral but she noticed and lashed out at me for getting involved. I was completely polite and calm with her about the importance of early intervention, speech therapy, what milestones he’s missing, I didn’t even use the A word, I even told her it could be something as simple as a hearing problem, but anything I said only made her angrier.

I’m really at a loss on how to convince her. Has anyone else had a toddler with severe receptive language delays and had positive long term outcomes?

I (26M) have been with my fiance (27F) since we were 18 and we just found out that she is pregnant. We have a brand new house, I work and she has been stay at home living for over a year now. I make good money but yeah its stressful at times running a single income household. This news is exciting as I have been battling baby fever on and off for a while now. Im grateful, but im stressed and scared. I have a great support system of family and friends and I know everything will be okay no mattter what happens but man. Its like I can cry but my body wont let me? The baby had to have been concieved around this time last month. I am already stressed from work and just juggling a mortgage and such but man idk how to feel right now. Im just venting here I guess. Any advice from you fathers would be so greatly apprecitated. It feels like im living in a whole new world right now and its hard to focus on anything else.

Hey guys, I need advice, I need to take care of future my son, I mean I want to save money or invest money to his future. For his 18 year he get some more money for finance start.

I putted money to bank-deposit. But nowadays percent is to low.

I will be thankful for any advice or ways.

P.s. English is not my native language so my last post had been deleted for corrected by AI.

Need advice one-on-one if a dad is open to talking about career, relationships, etc. I don’t have a father or father figure to go to.

I am 19, work as a commercial plumber pipe fitter for the union (that is relevant)

My parents split when I was real young and my father met a new woman soon after that and moved 45 minutes away. My father is great and so is the woman he married (my step mom) I love them so much

My mom also remarried, a man named Chris. Since my father moved a bit away he slowly stopped making efforts to see us unless it was convenient for him, He showed up less to my stuff because of work and would argue with me when I couldn’t make it to his house because of school or work.

Chris has come to most everything, shown me so much love, and even is the reason I have the job I do now. This man taught me how to shave and how to change my own oil.

I got a girlfriend recently and when her family asked about my father I started talking about Chris. Told them all about him and didn’t realize that I did until after.

I have been kinda breaking down the past couple days, I feel so guilty and conflicted but I am starting to realize that Chris has started taking the role of my real father.

Do I tell my step dad this? Would he appreciate something like this? I wouldn’t ever tell my real dad. I still see him as much as I can but he doesn’t need to know this.

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I haven’t seen my son for 12 years since he was a baby, and I’m wondering if it’s too late to try and reconnect.

I am 21 and I just found out my girlfriend who is 19 is pregnant. By the time the baby is born we will be 22 and 20. I am currently experiencing a flurry of emotions from fear to excitement and I’m trying to do my best to prepare. I am currently 3 semesters away from finishing my bachelor’s In kinesiology but that may have to be put on hold. That is not something I’m too concerned about because I had no specific plans for my degree, I was mainly in college to play basketball. Regardless, since I’ve been in college my entire adult life, I have no money saved and I don’t have a job right now. I am looking for a job relentlessly especially now that I found out I’ll be having a baby. Luckily my girlfriend has been working full time for a few years now and has a pretty good amount in her savings. Once I find a decent job I think we’ll be in a good spot financially and we both love each other very much and have had a healthy relationship over the last 2.5 years. She is renting her own place which we planned to stay at just for the summer before I went back to school, but obviously that’s gonna need to change now.

I guess I’m making this post to share my situation and ask for advice from others who were young dads and those who weren’t fully prepared for fatherhood?

M27. My now ex is pregnant with my child. We fell off pretty hard during these nine months of pregnancy. She is due this month and expressed that our little girl will not bear my last name.

I'm all for being a father and being there for my child. Hell, I'll even look out for my ex through postpartum. I just don't think I have it in me to father a child that does not have my last name. I'm almost reluctant to sign the birth certificate.

I know it's not the kid's fault, and it's just the mother being spiteful. It might be pride or ego on my end. But, I wouldn't even mind if the kid's name was hyphenated at the same time.

Am I tripping? Fathers, please chime in. This is my first kid, by the way.

My 10YO daughter has no idea that my soon to be ex girlfriend (not my daughters mom) is going to be refinancing the house in her name next week (the mortgage has been in my name since we bought it together 4 years ago) and I will be moving into an apartment next weekend because we have mutually decided we cannot make things work. We tried couple’s counseling (over a year ago) and it didn’t help.. whatever. The only reason I am posting is because I feel like absolute dog 💩 knowing that my daughter will be crushed when I pick her up from her moms one day very soon and have to tell her that we have a new home. My soon to be ex gf has a son that is very close in age to my daughter (literally 4 days apart) and they are pretty much best friends. My daughter is also very fond of my ex gf as well. We decided together not to tell the kids before the move because it would only make things harder. I feel like I am betraying my daughter by blindsiding her with this. I’ve been doing individual therapy for a couple months and it’s been helping but I’m still struggling with all of this.

To my mother: "I think we got the best baby. You most have gotten ripped off."

Hello, I made a post on the subreddit a little earlier this week because I just found out I’m going to be a father at 22. What I didn’t say or ask in that post is if I make enough money now to be able to provide for a baby. Right now I make anywhere between $500-$800 a week waiting tables. Sometimes I will make over $800. I currently have about $30,000 saved up and have no debt (as of right now). I’m about to finish college. The mother of my child has about $800 in medical debt. Once she starts her new jobs she will be making about $2,400 a month. Do we make enough right now as it is? What should I be making a week/month?

Hello, I just recently found out my girlfriend of 5 years is pregnant. We are both 22 and this is extremely unexpected because she has an iud. My parents know and her mom knows. What stuff do I need to do to get ready for the baby. I have about 30k saved in the bank. I have a job, and I’m a semester away from graduating. She is about a year out from graduating. She also has a job. I also have two cats. I am not ready to be a parent. Any and all advice is appreciated.

Hi all,

I wanted to share something in this group that I've been experiencing lately to seek advice from you all. I'm a 42-year-old father of two. My older kid is three and a half years old, and my younger kid is six months old.

I see my time with the young kids as a sugar cube. I see hot water getting poured over this cube every day, and the cube is dissolving in my hands. I'm not savoring the moment because I'm too tired, too stressed about money, or too worried about my own health to be present with them.

I try to get up at 5:00 AM to do work in the quiet hours of the early morning before the kids are up, so that when they wake up around 7:00, I can be with them and be present until it's time to go to school and work. But I hit the snooze button more than I'd like to admit. I'm just exhausted.

Later in the morning, when my kids are awake and I'm with them, I'm not present. I obviously experience guilt for not being present or energetic, or for being too worried about work.

Has anyone experienced this? I assume someone is. So instead of just asking if anyone is living through this, I'd like to know what you guys are doing about it. How do you recover your energy? How do you feel the way you were before you had kids? How do you stay awake to actually enjoy being with them and feel like a good dad?