u/No_Pea_1265

I'm so mad about this cuz ever since my teenage years, l've always blamed myself in my relationships

I never understood why I couldn't love my partners the way they loved me, why I couldn't feel sexual desire, why I was disgusted by intimacy.
Sex started out of curiosity. Then it always felt like an obligation, I just wished it would end quickly. (Don't get me wrong, nobody forced me, I was willing and my partners were caring)

I'm a woman, and contrary to stereotypes, I've always been the ‘cold one’. I've seen my male partners cry in front of me. But I could never feel as romantic or emotional as they did.
My friends often called me emotionless, and it became an inside joke.

I even went to doctors and had hormone tests done, explaining my issues with sexual stuff and my constant disgust.
There was nothing wrong with my hormones. No further explanation. Silly smiles and light jokes. Good to go.

I tried to explain it to psychiatrists. “Oh, could be depression, take this and that pills.”
But I was not even remotely depressed?????

The fact that not a single one even mentioned the terms “aromanticism” or “asexuality” makes me so angry today, as a 26 y.o woman. A lifetime spent judging myself.

Come on, man. I bet some of you guessed it as professionals.
Staying silent as a professional is definitely a… choice.