My husband read my text messages where I said I hate him and I think I ruined my marriage.
I am so beyond heartbroken. My husband (28m) and I (25f) have been married for maybe two months and I think we’ve talked about divorce more than going on a honeymoon.
Things have been rough. We’ve had a lot of little issues completely blow over due to just plain lack of understanding or care for the other persons feelings. I’ve been struggling with resentment…trying to talk to my husband about this has not gone well. I don’t know how to express hurt by his behavior in a way that is not taken as an attack. He jumps to defending himself first, getting dismissive, shutting down, or flipping the issue on me and that the way I feel is my fault. You can only have an argument flipped on you so many times before you start feeling like there’s just no point anymore.
I would vent to my sister after our interactions. Typical, blowing off steam and saying things I 100% don’t mean. Everyone’s done it. I stopped talking to my husband because I saw no point. I didn’t feel seen and I didn’t feel heard. The only time in our whole relationship I went to bed first, he went through my texts with my sister. I woke up to him laying beside me filing out our divorce papers.
My husband has acknowledged that I did try to talk to him, and that I wouldn’t have said the things I said to my sister if they were received by him. I don’t know how to fix this. I already felt like my husband hated me and now everything is just 100x worse. I feel like I ruined my marriage and it hasn’t even started yet. Every time we try to talk it just makes it worse. I want my best friend back. I want to feel like he cares but I genuinely don’t think we can give each other what we need and its actually ruining me.
TLDR; I felt emotionally abandoned by my husband for months. I vented to my sister, said I hated my husband in the heat of the moment. my husband read my texts and now I don’t know what to do.