I had my first panic attack (24M)
I’ll start by giving a little bit of context, since 7 or 8 I always lived with anxiety (sometimes as severe as making me puke before a social events, especially when I was 15-18) and because I was taught since childhood to never show your weakness I never consulted a doctor or anything, I tried (still trying) to find ways to cope with my social anxiety.
Overall I think I’ve been doing well, I forced myself to work in a social environment 4 years ago (I have interactions with 20-50 peoples everyday) and it’s probably the best treatment I could come up with (being forced to affront my fears everyday).
Yesterday I had a severe panic attack in front of a client in my office.
Never had one before, didn’t thought it was even a real thing to begin with.
I was extremely convinced my heart would explode, I had all the symptoms basically (loud and fast heartbeat, chest tightness, shaking, sweating, feeling very emotional, dread, doom feeling, couldn’t speak nor stand…). So I asked my colleagues to call the urgences, they later drove me home and it lasted about an hour. I had an ecg then blood test done later in the day, I was shocked to learn that I had a perfectly healthy heart and body overall.
Doctor explained to me after receiving my perfectly normal blood test that I maybe had a panic attack. So I spent several hours yesterday night and this morning reading on it and all symptoms converge to the testimonials here.
It seems that drinking alcohol and especially energy drink in late evening triggered this effect the next morning for me. Looking back I can think of two instances in the past two years where I had something similar happening to me after having alcohol+energy drink (but on a 1/10 scale) so it makes kinda sense.
And the reason why I’m writing this is that since yesterday night my moral is at an all time low. I don’t understand how my brain could trick me this way. For the last 10 years at least I did everything I could to control my thought and emotions, I really believed that I was finally in control for the past two years.
Now I can’t stop myself from negative thoughts, will it’ll be alright going back to work (I’m scared it might trigger another panic attack even though I know it’s not a rational thought), can it happen without taking alcohol and energy drink, why can’t I control my thoughts and feelings etc.. the usual stuff but this time I don’t succeed in laughing my way out of this.
I feel lost, I still haven’t coped with what happened yesterday morning. Seeking for advice, it’s been a long time since I’ve been scared like this